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The law (as I understand it) does not require teachers to sneak around or go through extraordinary steps to get information. If this is wrong, let me know.
On the broader point I think you are making - students sometimes need someone other than parents to talk to/share problems with. I agree. Does that mean parents should not be informed at all? I say have the teacher/admin/counselor talk with the kid but yes, eventually share that information with parent.
Simply put.
The kid is living with parent. The kid does not want to tell the parent and talks to teacher/admin/friends. Whatever the issue is will come to light or manifest itself one way or another at home/with parents. So IMO much better to let parents know as they (kid & parents) will have to deal with it sooner or later (and in my experience, it is almost always best to deal sooner rather than later).
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All of this is contingent on the student actually telling a teacher/admin/counselor in the first place. That is the important part, isn't it? The students are actually going to a teacher/admin/counselor for help/advice as opposed to fellow students or the internet. I reject the narrative that school staffs are hiding things like thoughts of suicide, pregnancies, depression, bullying etc. from parents on a regular basis. While you can find the examples to the contrary, I believe there are far more examples of students not wanting to talk to a parent about something, talking to a teacher/admin/counselor, the teacher/admin/counselor providing some guidance, and eventually the student being comfortable to talk to the parent about the issue and/or yes the teacher/admin/counselor letting the parent know because they know it is in the best interests of the child. Will it be as fast as the parent would want? Maybe not. I still think it is better than the alternative of the students not talking to anyone and suffering in silence or even worse going to Reddit or Tik Tok for advice on what to do.
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And ... nothing? If there is a formal notification and a parent says "and", then nothing. The school will say to the effect "we were required to inform you, we need to inform you about X-Y-Z, do you want to discuss more as we may have some school support services or can refer you to other services etc." and go from there.
If your point is parents will initiate lawsuits against the school because of being informed, I don't know why unless the parent thinks there was negligence in some way?
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If the school is notifying parents, it is because the school has determined that some is a problem. Parents are not notified because kids are on time for all their classes. They are notified when the kids are late and/or skip class.
Calling a parent and providing them with a formal notification that their child does not match the school's "default" is going to be a problem. Especially if the school can not explain why that notification is the best interests of that child's mental, emotional, or physical health or well-being.