I was kind of in the OP's boat, and I was just starting to adjust to the next-gen recruiting system (like '09 quite a bit), and then they messed up the progression system in NCAA 10 and it had me so flustered that I just traded it. IIRC, players progressed so quickly that by the 2nd or 3rd year, basically every team was in the "A" range or maxed out. It totally ruined the appeal of the game for me, so I hope they fix it this year.
The smiley face, as far as I could tell, was simply how likely they were to hang up on you. In '09, your recruiting progress was hidden, so you didn't know how well you were doing. In '10, they gave you a magic meter to show how much interest you were gaining, except I don't think it was ever fully explained. Also, when you were doing adverse recruiting (against another school), there was a lot of debate over whether you wanted a + or a - to show up.
Usually, if you're doing well, you get a smiley face throughout b/c the guy is happy to talk to you. But I think it's just there as a visual cue that the guy is about to hang up on you if you keep going on a particular pitch.