There's no Barbie in Football* - RyanMoody21's Blog

RyanMoody21's Blog

There's no Barbie in Football*

Posted on June 16, 2009 at 01:22 AM.

Like most boys, I never played with dolls as a kid. Maybe I did and just preferred to think of them as "Action Figures". Perhaps my personal army of GI Joes really was a little set of dolls. I suppose its possible that Hasboro lied to me all those years.

Regardless, I sure never got the hankering to dress them up. I never wanted to repaint them or make them clothes. The plastic molded clothing and choking hazard accessories suited me just fine.

Over 20 years later, Im still proud to say Im glad to be a kid. It doesn't mean I don't have a mortgage or car payment and a family to take care of. Its just means outside of my job, I like to have fun. That fun just happens to come form of watching movies or playing some video games.

For many reasons, the latest installments of Madden have been a source of frustration not fun, causing more rage than recreation. Watching my team, hand picked to be full of my favorite players, brainlessly animate all over the field. Blockers who don't block, Lineman that don't protect, DB's that stand still, LB's that move forward and backward as if on a treadmill. Thats just a hand full of reasons I come dangerously close to sending my controller through the floor.

Tired of complaining to myself and the sofa, I got inspired by a thick New York accented guy with 3 nicknames. Reluctantly I brought my complaints to OS and Youtube.

Sifting through the forums, I found myself adrift in a surprising amount of demands. Some peoples demands didn't come in the form of game play changes, rather they wanted to play dress up with Peyton Manning and Reggie Wayne. As if Peyton was Barbie and Reggie was Skipper. Guys drooled over the idea of Peytons towel and hand warmer flapping while Reggie ran a post wearing blue cleats with black gloves. Tea party right after the game, Peyton comes rolling up in a pink corvette and Teddy Ruxpin has to do the play by play. How far away are we from those demands?

Im a decent "prioritizer". I turn the key before opening the door, lift the lid before using the toilet, I even try to unwrap food before I eat it. So excuse me if I don't comprehend why I need authentic looking players before authentic gameplay.

*I mean this as a lighthearted commentary. I dont want to offend anybody, Id rather see you laugh than lament.