ehh's Blog
"The only man who can stop Cliff Robinson is Cliff Robinson. The man is unstoppable even at 38."
"Kenyon Martin is the 2nd best player in the Eastern Conference."
"I want to see Ben Wallace come out with war paint on his face."
"Ben Wallace is the Pistons superstar...and he can't get a foul...what a travesty?"
"THROW IT DOWN BIG MAN...THROW IT DOWN"
"Eddie Griffin has put up the 2 worst shots in the history of the Rockets franchise here tonight"
"Shaq makes everyone else in the league look like Michelle Tafoya"
“Where would you like it NEXT time, Samaki?” after getting dunked on by Shaq.
“Danny Ferry is just a tremendous player...”
"What a sad play from a pathetic human being" about Larry Johnson in the Knicks/Spurs series in 1999.
"Atlanta needs all 13 lottery picks."
“A beautiful pass by Tony Parker off the FRONT of the RIM...”
"As good a career as Rodney Rogers had his career is pretty tragic, with his talent Rodney should have been the unstoppable force in the NBA."
"If Anthony Johnson ever gets a jumper who’s gonna stop him"?
"Tim Duncan is looking at the referee saying....'What is a foul!?!?!?!'"
Walton: That has to be a foul.
Snapper: Against who?
Walton: Against the game of basketball.
"Dale Davis, pick ONE pivot foot........PLEASE!"
"This is a game of skill, Shawn Bradley"
Nessler: And Samaki Walker enters the game
Walton: So THIS is what its come too?
"Hedo Turkoglu is such a beauuuuutiful player"
"THATS MCHALE! THATS JABBAR!"
"If that’s not a foul, then why have a rule book?"
"Raef Lafrentz and Shawn Bradley should start considering a new career"
"Chris Childs let the opportunity of having the best job in the world being Kidd’s backup go away because he couldn’t get himself away from the buffet table"
"Where would the LA Clippers franchise be without Sean Rooks?"
"He's everywhere! Rebounds, Assists... Shawn Bradley is looking like Hakeem Olajuwan!"
"Lindsay Hunter is making Devean George look like John Stockton."
Walton - "You're talking about one of the best defensive forwards in the HISTORY of the NBA, Robert Horry. And Tim Duncan is just making it look sooo easy."
Tom Tolbert - "Horry isn’t even one of the top 5 defensive players on the court right now"
"Is there a better shot blocker than Vlade Divac?"
"Bo Outlaw might be the best pick up of the off season."
"Bonzi what are you complaining about that wasn’t just a foul that was third degree assault"
"This game is a celebration of basketball, a celebration of LIFE itself"
"Shawn Bradley has completely changed the fate of western civilization here!"
"Kelvin Cato, the pride of Ohio State."
"The art of tossing up the jump ball has really declined. These officials need to spend more time practicing in off-season."
"Kelvin Cato is by far the MVP for the Sacramento Kings tonight"
Last year the Wolves were playing the Sonics, who had just acquired Elden Campbell. Campbell enters the game with Ray Allen and Walton just had a field day with him.
"7 feet, who knows how many pounds on that big beautiful body of his"
"Look at Rasho Nesterovic back down the statuesque physique of Elden Campbell."
"The Sonics are on a 17-4 run since Elden Campbell has entered the game. Where would they be without this man."
During the Cavs/Lakers game that went into overtime on ESPN...Bill's son enters the game and John Saunders asks Bill what his advice to his son was to have a successful NBA career...Bill's response: "Pass it to Shaq"
Host: "Bill, how about the Knicks guard play tonight?"
*Walton turns his head and stares into the camera*
Walton: "Charlie Ward Sucks!"
"Tractor is treating this game like a BUFFET LINE" about Robert Traylor
When his son Luke Walton got an assist with this easy bounce pass…
Walton: “Only 3 forwards can make that pass and Luke is one of them.”
"He’s not your vidas...he's not my vidas...he's ARVYDAS"
"Christian Laettner, stumbling out there, dazed and confused'.
Bill Walton: Nice passssssss (pass is intercepted)
Snapper: It would have been but the pass was picked off
Bill Walton: yeah but it was a good idea...
"Here’s Luke Walton, Bill you know a little something about him"
"Yes he’s a 6'8 small forward from Arizona"
"...Ron Artest....a very likeable person, once you get to know him"
"I have always wanted to be part of something special, and when I got to Boston... actually, when I bought, begged and pleaded my way onto the Celtics... it was already a championship team. I was just glad to be able to sit there and cheer and to be Larry Bird's valet, to be sure that his shoes were fine and his uniform was folded neatly."
Walton: "I don't know if anyone of you out there is going to agree with Peter's psycho-babble"
Vescey: "PSYCHO-BABBLE???? Why you overgrown Raggedy Andy..."
On Robert Horry's post passing skills...
"Robert Horry is one of the greatest feeders of the post in the history of the game"
Earl Watson enters the game, "........ Earl Watson, the UCLA legend......"
Walton: "Eddie House is one of the great scorers of the NBA"
Talking about Larry Brown..
" it will say on his tomb-stone... i won with the clippers"
After Kobe dunked on somebody last year:
Bill: "Kobe will not be denied,on or off the court"
After Tony Parker notches his 6th point in the first quarter
Bill Walton 'By the way Tony Parker is playing, Kobe Bryant's 62 could be in jeopardy.'
"He's yelling at the ref, and he already has one technical foul....if he gets ejected on Christmas day..............I just don't know!" on Rasheed Wallace
"Has Darko become the man who starts 10,000 cars????"
"It looked like they were moving forward when they bought out Shawn Bradley's contract. Now, they still have him. His name just changed to Erick Dampier."
"A timeout controversy with Chris Webber, how can that be?"
"Chris Wilcox will give you a highlight reel night in and night out"
"Why have they not yet figured out that he is left handed and will likely continue to be for the duration of this game?"
After Olawakandi makes a shot...
"And that is why fans will be rushing to the voters booth to vote the Kandi Man the starting center of this years all-star game"
"We need more red headed centers like Luc Longley"
"His left leg belongs in the Smithsonian" - Talking about Kareem
After LeBron's breakaway dunk vs. the pistons:
"In transition: the extension. the spread eagle. the posterization over the imaginary defender."
“Tracy McGrady is doing things we’ve never seen from anybody – from any planet!”
"Steve Nash is the most unathletic player in the league."
Whenever the refs aren't up to Bill's standards: “Why even have a rulebook?”
On Kobe's offseason weight training: "The added muscle and bulk from pushing that steel and the natural maturation process now enables this grandmaster to regularly accomplish the unimaginable without dragging around excessive bulk and baggage. Most top players get to the point where they truly believe that anything is possible. Most are also governed by gravity, the laws of physics and self-regulating mental control mechanisms. Kobe has left all these behind. The extra strength and stamina have made him a superior 3-point shooter, a most dominant defender and arguably the game's top rebounder."
On Rasheed Wallace: "He's like a four-armed Dikembe Mutombo around the basket!"
"Throw it down, big man! Throw it DOWN!"
"Mick Jagger is in better shape than far too many NBA players. It's up in the air whether the same can be said of Keith Richards."
Exchange between he and Snapper Jones: “That’s a terrible defensive effort by Robert Horry. He didn’t even make it difficult for Rasheed Wallace to score.” Snapper: “Well, what do you expect? Earlier you said that Wallace could be one of the best players in the game, and now you want Robert Horry to guard him one-on-one?” Bill: “No, I said that Rasheed could be the best player in the game.”
Exchange between he and Tom Hammond: “John Stockton is one of the true marvels, not just of basketball, or in America, but in the history of Western Civilization!” Tom: “Wow, that’s a pretty strong statement. I guess I don’t have a good handle on world history.” Bill: “Well Tom, that’s because you didn’t go to UCLA.”
“Patrick Ewing used to be much better in every aspect of the game.” (After Ewing clanged a free throw, before he had even left the Knicks.)
During a game that didn't even involve the Rockets: “Yao Ming is the best thing to happen to the NBA in a long time. He is just a beautiful person inside and out. The vision, the creativity, the gentleness of spirit … he has it all.”
"Kenyon Martin is the 2nd best player in the Eastern Conference."
When Illinois center Robert Archibald, originally from Scotland, dunked a ball on his son Luke Walton in college: "Did you see that? It must be the Scottish pudding!!"
"Where else but the NBA could people like Bill Russell, Spencer Haywood, Ricky Barry, Dennis Rodman and Allen Iverson come in and be allowed to be who they are?"
"Greg Ostertag is one of the top centers on this planet!"
"But you have to understand, my beard is so nasty. I mean, it's the only beard in the history of Western civilization that makes Bob Dylan's beard look good."
“Eric Piatkowski makes perhaps the greatest defensive play in Clipper history!”
During one of his hilarious game-intros: “Tonight the Spurs look to extend their lead to 3-0 over the Lakers. This time, however, they will have to do it on the Lakers’ home court. Duncan and Shaq have been magnificent for both teams, but so far the edge has gone to San Antonio. However, the real story line that awaits us tonight in Los Angeles is whether or not Kobe Bryant will actually throw a pass!”
"A lot of people understand what not saying anything means, so, in effect, not saying anything is really saying a lot."
Tony Parker makes a pass, which gets deflected out of bounds by an opposing defender. Spurs ball, no big deal... Walton roars: "Tony Parker just made the worst pass... in the history of Western Civilization!"
“Oh my, Kobe is really putting on a show out there. He’s making Ray Allen look like a sixth grader!”
On the '72 Lakers: "Way back when, I was a sophomore in college at UCLA when a truly remarkable aggregation of professional talent actually exceeded the hype and hope of a world searching desperately for authenticity."
"I mean, I'm 6-foot-11, I've got red hair, freckles, I'm a goofy, nerdy-looking guy, I've got a speech impediment-I stutter and stammer all the time-and I'm a Deadhead. I was a skinny, scrawny guy. I stuttered horrendously, couldn't speak at all. I was a very shy, reserved player and a very shy, reserved person. I found a safe place in life in basketball."
"I'm mainstream. Always have been."
On his tour across America for ESPN: "Well, we've made some changes on this tour. We're no longer sleeping in the parking lots and swimming in the fountains. We've been staying in hotels most of the way, though I will say some hotels have declined to take us because we're just having too much fun."
While distributing free chicken samples during an appearance at McDonald's: "Thank you for visiting McDonald's and please drive safely ... Sir, don't forget your napkins!"
On The Grateful Dead: "They've been my life."
"What hath God wrought -- Todd MacCulloch has changed his name."
"Manu Ginobli is one of the greats. Not just of this generation, but of all time."
"Save some for later? Balderdash, this is the playoffs!"
More Larry Johnson railing: "Why would the Pacers ever double-team Larry Johnson? He wants to be double-teamed so he can pass. Why is Indiana double-teaming a man who only scores 8 points a game?"
"Memo to Paul Pierce and Antoine Walker: Couldn't you wait until at least the All-Star break to have the franchise suffer its worse loss in its storied history? Bill Russell just called looking for an address to send his 11 championship rings back to the Celtics because he is so disappointed."
# 5
SacKings1999 @ Jan 12
I had to stop reading about half way through, because my throat hurt from laughing. Seriously. I'll never forget the era of Walton broadcasts. Awesome post, man.
ehh
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John Stockton is a true marvel of western civilization.
"He’s not your vidas...he's not my vidas...he's ARVYDAS"
Walton: That has to be a foul.
Snapper: Against who?
Walton: Against the game of basketball.