OK, who here works for Stuff Magazine?

JeeberD · 06-14-2003, 05:39 PM

Someone from from FOFC has got to work for Stuff Magazine. That's the only reason that I can come up with that the magazine would have a full page layout on our beloved Colossal Squid. Well, ok, maybe not a full page layout. He has to share the page with Rene Zellweger, but that's beyond the point.

On the page there is a big picture of CS laying on an examining table with scientists examining him (we've already seen this picture, I believe). The text under the picture says:

"If you don't know what a colossal squid looks like, imagine a very, very tiny squid as seen through a superhigh-powered magnifying glass. The squid above was found in the Ross Sea. If you don't know what the Ross Sea looks like, imagine a regular sea and...you're done. The squid is covered with 25 teethlike hooks and has eyes the size of dinner plates. And this is only a half-grown colossal squid. Had it lived, it would have grown monstrously large (see chart, asshole). Scientists rarely recover full-grown colossal squids, because they thought you were going to do it. Remember that communication is the key"

The caption next to the picture of CS says:

" 'Jesus, they're not even wearing gloves!' exclaimed Colossal Squid's worried mother in the hospital waiting room. Relax, mom. Your son's already dead."

You know, this is pretty crappy writing. Fritz or WSUCoug could do much, much better...

If you happen to see July's issue of Stuff, turn to page 32 to see Colossal Squid in all his glory...

Schmidty · 06-14-2003, 06:04 PM

Colossal Squid is definitely overrated. He's simply a product of the Fritz-hype machine.

Draft Dodger · 06-14-2003, 06:05 PM

was going to mention that, but I didn't want to admit I read Stuff.

of all the magazine's I get each month, my free issues of Stuff and Rolling Stone are by far the worst. Amazing how Maxim is essentially the same thing, but is so much better.

JeeberD · 06-14-2003, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Draft Dodger
was going to mention that, but I didn't want to admit I read Stuff.

of all the magazine's I get each month, my free issues of Stuff and Rolling Stone are by far the worst. Amazing how Maxim is essentially the same thing, but is so much better.

Yeah, I only get Stuff because it's free. I wouldn't spend money on it, that's for sure...

Schmidty · 06-14-2003, 06:11 PM

I think that any magazine named "Stuff" obviously lacks focus.

tucker342 · 06-14-2003, 07:26 PM

What a bad name for a magazine!

Fritz · 06-15-2003, 12:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Schmidty
Schmidty is definitely overrated. He's simply a product of the Fritz-hype machine.

SAVE THE COLOSSAL SCHMIDTY

Schmidty · 06-15-2003, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fritz
SAVE SCHMIDTY'S COLOSSAL PENIS

Thanks for the thought Fritz, but Cap'n Crunch is doing just fine.

Chief Rum · 06-15-2003, 01:49 AM

Hey, if the Tooth Fairy, Mike Ditka, and Schmidty's Collosal Penis were in a footrace, who would win?

Answer: Ditka--the other two don't exist!

CR

Schmidty · 06-15-2003, 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Chief Rum
Hey, if the Tooth Fairy, Mike Ditka, and Schmidty's Collosal Penis were in a footrace, who would win?

Answer: Ditka--the other two don't exist!

CR

That whole question is flawed to begin with. Cap'n Crunch doesn't have legs.

ice4277 · 06-15-2003, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Schmidty
That whole question is flawed to begin with. Cap'n Crunch doesn't have legs.

And your penis does??

Fritz · 06-15-2003, 08:10 AM

Schmidty's way to large to be of any use penis gets soggy in milk

FishFan · 06-15-2003, 11:44 AM

hey fritz

KWhit · 06-16-2003, 08:55 AM

Stuff is really one of the worst magazines ever. I get it (another freebie) and other than the pictures (which are merely okay) it is completely worthless.

BTW, did you guys see the Pam Anderson layout last month? Truly horrible airbrused pics.

06-14-2003, 06:04 PM	#2
Schmidty Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Early, TX	Colossal Squid is definitely overrated. He's simply a product of the Fritz-hype machine. __________________ Just beat the devil out of it!!! - Bob Ross

06-14-2003, 06:05 PM	#3
Draft Dodger Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Keene, NH	was going to mention that, but I didn't want to admit I read Stuff. of all the magazine's I get each month, my free issues of Stuff and Rolling Stone are by far the worst. Amazing how Maxim is essentially the same thing, but is so much better. __________________ Mile High Hockey

06-14-2003, 06:11 PM	#5
Schmidty Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Early, TX	I think that any magazine named "Stuff" obviously lacks focus. __________________ Just beat the devil out of it!!! - Bob Ross

06-15-2003, 01:49 AM	#9
Chief Rum Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Where Hip Hop lives	Hey, if the Tooth Fairy, Mike Ditka, and Schmidty's Collosal Penis were in a footrace, who would win? Answer: Ditka--the other two don't exist! CR __________________ . . I would rather be wrong...Than live in the shadows of your song...My mind is open wide...And now I'm ready to start...You're not sure...You open the door...And step out into the dark...Now I'm ready.

06-15-2003, 08:10 AM	#12
Fritz Lethargic Hooligan Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing	Schmidty's way to large to be of any use penis gets soggy in milk __________________ donkey, donkey, walk a little faster

06-14-2003, 07:26 PM	#6
tucker342 Pro Starter Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Iowa City, IA	What a bad name for a magazine!

06-15-2003, 11:44 AM	#13
FishFan College Prospect Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Indianapolis, IN, USA	hey fritz

06-16-2003, 08:55 AM	#14
KWhit Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Conyers GA	Stuff is really one of the worst magazines ever. I get it (another freebie) and other than the pictures (which are merely okay) it is completely worthless. BTW, did you guys see the Pam Anderson layout last month? Truly horrible airbrused pics.

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