OT - Simpsons Simpsons Simpsons

Braggadocioussss · 01-22-2001, 03:12 PM

Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned
anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain whats-his-name?

------------------
Marinovich is God. I have proof.

kingnebwsu · 01-22-2001, 03:35 PM

"Why did you think I took you to see all those police academy movies?!? FOR FUN?!? Well I didn't see anybody laughing...except at that sounds guy (whoo-whoo, ayee-ayee, aoooooga)."---Homer

-Ben

Braggadocioussss · 01-22-2001, 03:47 PM

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

------------------
Marinovich is God. I have proof.

petrochile · 01-22-2001, 04:23 PM

Otto: "Stoner's Pot Palace, that is blatant false advertisement"

El Baketo · 01-22-2001, 04:31 PM

"Far too much dancing, not nearly enough prancing!" - Mr. Burns after a ballet.

01-22-2001, 04:42 PM

Now listen carefully Marge, I want you to pull on the THING, that's next to the other
THING.

*flames engulf Homer's head*

No, that was not the THING.

FishFan · 01-22-2001, 07:10 PM

I bent my wookie.

Upstate_New_York · 01-22-2001, 07:15 PM

Homer on the run, trying to escape a Las Vegas casino:

"Ah! Security! Ahh! Police! Ahhh!! The Moody Blues!"

------------------
Wellington Mara mocking the press's opinion on his 2000 Giants: "We were the worst team to get home field in the playoffs. We were the worst team to get to a championship game. Now we'll be the worst team ever to win a Super Bowl."

Fritz · 01-22-2001, 08:01 PM

"All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money back by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one." - Homer

"Homer, lighten uo. You're making happy hour bitterly Ironic." - Moe

"You heard me. I won't be in for the rest of the week. (listens) I told you. My baby beat me up. (listens) Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up." - Homer

"Ooh, Ibetter take down the manger scene! If baby Jesus got loose, he could really do some damage!" - Ned

------------------
Just a litte bit of Uh-huh and whole lotta Oh-Yea!

Lookoutbelow · 01-22-2001, 08:03 PM

"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolinest day using an electric fool machine"-Homer
---------------------
"Don't blame me I voted for Kodos"-Homer

Lookoutbelow · 01-22-2001, 08:05 PM

"Happy Birthday you old bastard"-rolling stones

mckerney · 01-22-2001, 09:21 PM

"That's it, time for a good old fashioned hippie ass whupping." - Chief Wiggum

Passacaglia · 01-23-2001, 08:13 AM

less artsy, more fartsy!

Senator · 01-23-2001, 08:17 AM

My cats breath smells like cat food.

Neuqua · 04-10-2002, 12:28 AM

Homer realizes that he does not want to send Mr. Burns a hateful letter but learns that Bart has already mailed it.

And so Homer goes up to Post office 'guy':

Homer: Hi, my name is Mr. Burns and I believe you have some mail for me.

POG: Ok Mr. Burns, what is your last name?

Homer: I don't know...

sabotai · 04-10-2002, 01:54 AM

Marge: I hope you learned something after all of this. (Have no idea if this is actual line, but the next one is. )

Homer: Marge, I haven't learned a thing.

ScottVib · 04-10-2002, 09:06 AM

Ralph: "Go Banana"

Schmidty · 04-10-2002, 09:47 AM

Otto: Why do they call them fingers? I've never seen them fing.

Ksyrup · 04-10-2002, 10:17 AM

Best joke they never used:

In the episode where Homer creates the Flaming Homer drink and Moe steals it and calls it the Flaming Mo, they reconcile at the end. Why they didn't call that drink the "Flaming HoMo" after that, I'll never understand.

GrantDawg · 04-10-2002, 10:20 AM

Lenny: "I logged on to the internet"

MIJB#19 · 04-10-2002, 10:38 AM

"Daddy? I think I wet my bed..."

[ 04-10-2002: Message edited by: MIJB#19 ]

BillJasper · 04-10-2002, 11:50 AM

"Have the Rolling Stones killed." Mr. Burns after watching the Ramones perform at his birthday party.

"Your house smells like feces... and not just monkey feces." Homer

04-10-2002, 02:38 PM

" I like my women hot, and my gays Flaming"

Lost Senator · 04-10-2002, 02:51 PM

This thread was revived after over a year?

korme · 04-10-2002, 02:53 PM

Snowed In.

The kids tied up Seymour Skinner in a dodgeball sack while they are trapped in the school. While trapped, he sends off his pet Nibbles to go find help.

At the end, he is happy to find Nibbles returned with the Simpson family and Ned Flanders to get them out.

Principal Skinner: You did it, Nibbles! Now, chew through my ball-sack.

---

Another scene from that, the snow is melting away..

Bart: Look the snow's melting!
Ralph: With a little help from our friend Sodium Chloride!

Nelson proceeds to beat the living crap out of Ralphy Wiggum.

korme · 04-10-2002, 02:58 PM

Another, on the stranded island episode, its a little vague but I remember the funny part.

Lisa: Remember, if anyone finds anything to eat, dont eat the purple berries!!

Ralph: I ated the purple berries!

Lisa: ..What'd it taste like, Ralph?

Ralph: It tastes like.. burning!

Chief Rum · 04-10-2002, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shorty3281:
Snowed In.

The kids tied up Seymour Skinner in a dodgeball sack while they are trapped in the school. While trapped, he sends off his pet Nibbles to go find help.

At the end, he is happy to find Nibbles returned with the Simpson family and Ned Flanders to get them out.

Principal Skinner: You did it, Nibbles! Now, chew through my ball-sack.

---

Another scene from that, the snow is melting away..

Bart: Look the snow's melting!
Ralph: With a little help from our friend Sodium Chloride!

Nelson proceeds to beat the living crap out of Ralphy Wiggum.

I feel like I did this before in a previous Simpsons thread, and it may have even been Shorty, but...

That last line was not said by Ralph Wiggum. Ralph would never say something like that. I don't think he can say something like that.

The character who said that had to be Martin.

Chief Rum

korme · 04-10-2002, 04:10 PM

damn, true. i remember you correcting me too, lol. ive got the audio, i swear it sounds like ralph

Schmidty · 04-10-2002, 04:16 PM

Ralph: Hi Lisa! Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers! I'm learnding!

sabotai · 04-10-2002, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Ralph: Hi Lisa! Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers! I'm learnding!

never gets old...Super Nintendo Chalmers...

04-11-2002, 08:52 AM

(setting fire to high school diploma)
I am so smart! I am so smart!

S-M-A-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T!

04-11-2002, 10:08 AM

"I'm Idaho!"

"Yes Ralph, we know you are."

Braggadocioussssss · 04-11-2002, 10:28 AM

actualy she says "Of course you are Ralph"

:-)

Homer : "Well, it seems that the cat burgaler was caught by the very person that was trying to catch him."

Principal Skinner : "How Ironic."

04-12-2002, 12:38 AM

In the military school episode (but while she's still in Springfield Elementary), Lisa's class watches a couple of filmstrips, including one about the moon. The filmstrip talks about how we will establish colonies on the moon by 1964 (it was an OLD filmstrip), and how people will weigh much less on the moon than they would on Earth. It then shows some fat kid chowing down on some food, and the narrator (Troy McClure's dad??) says:

"Whoa! Slow down there Tubby. You're not on the moon yet!"

That one always cracks me up.

[ 04-11-2002: Message edited by: Craptacular ]

Braggadocioussssss · 04-26-2002, 10:51 PM

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No!

Homer: Pork chops?

Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!

Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

____
also

Maude Flanders: Edna, I really don't think we're talking about love. We're talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.

Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron! I thought they closed that place down!

_____
once more

Kent Brockman: Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be... THE KILLBOT FACTORY!

04-26-2002, 10:55 PM

Security Guy: Surely you cant put a price on your family's life.

Homer: I wouldn't think think so either, yet here we are.

kcchief19 · 04-27-2002, 04:15 PM

That sex chauldron line always gets me.

At the salue to Seymour Skinner night:

Lisa: A young Seymour Skinner served in Vietnam, earning a Purple Heart.

Ralph: Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school. Lisa?

Lisa: Upon retiring home, Seymour Skinner fulfilled his lifelong goal of becoming principal of Sprinfield Elementary.

Ralph: When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar.

korme · 04-28-2002, 01:58 AM

Daddy's chest is crying

04-29-2002, 05:21 PM

Homer: I'm not normally a praying man, but if your up there... save me superman.

Homer: What do ya say honey... feelin stupid... I know I am.

[ 04-29-2002: Message edited by: Easy Mac ]

Kodos · 01-24-2003, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by craptacular
In the military school episode (but while she's still in Springfield Elementary), Lisa's class watches a couple of filmstrips, including one about the moon. The filmstrip talks about how we will establish colonies on the moon by 1964 (it was an OLD filmstrip), and how people will weigh much less on the moon than they would on Earth. It then shows some fat kid chowing down on some food, and the narrator (Troy McClure's dad??) says:

"Whoa! Slow down there Tubby. You're not on the moon yet!"

That one always cracks me up.

[ 04-11-2002: Message edited by: Craptacular ]

Great quote, there Crappie!

KWhit · 01-24-2003, 04:35 PM

- Homer no function beer well without.

- To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

CHEMICAL SOLDIER · 01-24-2003, 05:36 PM

''A shinny new donkey to whoever bringsme the head of Col. Montoya.''

Mr. Burns

'' To overcome the spiders curse you must recite a bible verse .''
''Though Shalt not....

icks rock and throws it at spider :.''

CHEMICAL SOLDIER · 01-24-2003, 09:37 PM

BART: ''Christmas is the time people of all religions celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ .''

Neuqua · 01-24-2003, 10:14 PM

You can't forget the episode where Homer suspected Bart of being gay, and so decided to take Bart out hunting with Barney and Mo.

Then Mo asks Bart why he's never gone out hunting:

Bart: Eh, there's something about a bunch of guys, going out alone into the woods. I dunno, seems kind of gay to me.

Everytime I think of this scene I smile. Simply classic.

Neuqua

JPhillips · 01-25-2003, 11:00 AM

In the episode with REM.

Michael Stipe breaks a botlle and goes towards Homer threateningly.

Bill Buck: "No Michael. That's not the REM way."

Later they all share a tofu turkey.

Homer: "Ummm, tofu."

sterlingice · 01-25-2003, 11:21 AM

Guard: [laughs] There's no need to murmur, ma'am. Here at Itchy and Scratchy Land we're just as concerned about violence as you are. That's why we're always careful to show the consequences of deadly mayhem so that we may educate as well as horrify.
Marge: When do you show the consequences? On TV that mouse pulled out that cat's lungs and played them like a bagpipe, but in the next scene the cat was breathing comfortably.
Guard: Just like in real life.
[pause]
[pointing] Hey, look over there!
[family does so, he takes off quickly]

Then again there are some other great quotes in this ep..

Homer: Back, you robots! NOBODY RUINS MY FAMILY VACATION BUT ME... ...and maybe the boy.

Lisa: Dad! The flash must have scrambled their circuits.
Homer: What are you, the narrator?

Bart: [German accent] Hey mouse...say cheese.
[snaps picture; an Itchy robot collapses]
With a dry, cool wit like that, I could be an action hero.
[Homer emerges from a pile of robots]
Homer: Die, bad robots, die! [laughs]
With a dry, cool wit like that, I could be an action hero.

SI

korme · 02-04-2003, 10:05 PM

Come on, no Milhouse quotes??

"This dog is way better then your old dog. Remember when your old dog ate my goldfish, and then you lied and said I never had a goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?!?"

mckerney · 02-04-2003, 10:14 PM

From the last new episode:

Otto while driving the bus: "Woah! What am I smoking? (turn to see Otto is holding a joint) Oh, that's right. Pot."

Easy Mac · 02-04-2003, 11:37 PM

"We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy." - Milhouse

"The House always wins." - Milhouse

"Me fail english that's unpossible" - Ralph

"Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?" - Milhouse

"Shut up. Shut up. I can't believe you don't shut up." - Apu Nahasa...whatever

"Marge, its uter-us, not uter-you." - Homer

Butter · 02-05-2003, 09:21 AM

When Krusty finds out he has a daughter, he says to her:
"I'm not the kind of father who does things, or says stuff, or looks at you... but the love is there."

01-22-2001, 04:23 PM	#4
petrochile H.S. Freshman Team Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Stankonia	Otto: "Stoner's Pot Palace, that is blatant false advertisement" __________________ Owner of the Jamaica Rastas of the FOFL

01-22-2001, 07:15 PM	#8
Upstate_New_York Mascot Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Space is the place.	Homer on the run, trying to escape a Las Vegas casino: "Ah! Security! Ahh! Police! Ahhh!! The Moody Blues!" ------------------ Wellington Mara mocking the press's opinion on his 2000 Giants: "We were the worst team to get home field in the playoffs. We were the worst team to get to a championship game. Now we'll be the worst team ever to win a Super Bowl." __________________ "Liberty. Equality. Fraternity. Information." - From Brazil

01-22-2001, 08:01 PM	#9
Fritz Lethargic Hooligan Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing	"All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money back by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one." - Homer "Homer, lighten uo. You're making happy hour bitterly Ironic." - Moe "You heard me. I won't be in for the rest of the week. (listens) I told you. My baby beat me up. (listens) Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up." - Homer "Ooh, Ibetter take down the manger scene! If baby Jesus got loose, he could really do some damage!" - Ned ------------------ Just a litte bit of Uh-huh and whole lotta Oh-Yea! __________________ donkey, donkey, walk a little faster

01-23-2001, 08:13 AM	#13
Passacaglia Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Big Ten Country	less artsy, more fartsy! __________________ Pride and Prejudice -- an FOF9 Lions dynasty, starting 1966

01-23-2001, 08:17 AM	#14
Senator FOFC's Elected Representative Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The stars at night; are big and bright	My cats breath smells like cat food. __________________ "i have seen chris simms play 4-5 times in the pros and he's very clearly got it. he won't make a pro bowl this year, but it'll come. if you don't like me saying that, so be it, but its true. we'll just have to wait until then" imettrentgreen "looking at only ten games, and oddly using a median only, leaves me unmoved generally" - Quiksand

01-22-2001, 03:35 PM	#2
kingnebwsu College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Ohio	"Why did you think I took you to see all those police academy movies?!? FOR FUN?!? Well I didn't see anybody laughing...except at that sounds guy (whoo-whoo, ayee-ayee, aoooooga)."---Homer -Ben

01-22-2001, 03:47 PM	#3
Braggadocioussss In The Penalty Box Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phoenix, AZ	Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel. ------------------ Marinovich is God. I have proof.

01-22-2001, 04:31 PM	#5
El Baketo n00b Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada	"Far too much dancing, not nearly enough prancing!" - Mr. Burns after a ballet.

01-22-2001, 04:42 PM	#6
Slacker	Now listen carefully Marge, I want you to pull on the THING, that's next to the other THING. flames engulf Homer's head No, that was not the THING.

01-22-2001, 07:10 PM	#7
FishFan College Prospect Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Indianapolis, IN, USA	I bent my wookie.

01-22-2001, 08:03 PM	#10
Lookoutbelow n00b Join Date: Jan 2001	"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolinest day using an electric fool machine"-Homer --------------------- "Don't blame me I voted for Kodos"-Homer

01-22-2001, 08:05 PM	#11
Lookoutbelow n00b Join Date: Jan 2001	"Happy Birthday you old bastard"-rolling stones

01-22-2001, 09:21 PM	#12
mckerney Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	"That's it, time for a good old fashioned hippie ass whupping." - Chief Wiggum

04-10-2002, 12:28 AM	#15
Neuqua Pro Rookie Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Chicago, Ill	Homer realizes that he does not want to send Mr. Burns a hateful letter but learns that Bart has already mailed it. And so Homer goes up to Post office 'guy': Homer: Hi, my name is Mr. Burns and I believe you have some mail for me. POG: Ok Mr. Burns, what is your last name? Homer: I don't know... __________________ Our Deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?

04-10-2002, 01:54 AM	#16
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	Marge: I hope you learned something after all of this. (Have no idea if this is actual line, but the next one is. ) Homer: Marge, I haven't learned a thing.

04-10-2002, 09:06 AM	#17
ScottVib High School Varsity Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: My Computer	Ralph: "Go Banana"

04-10-2002, 09:47 AM	#18
Schmidty Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Early, TX	Otto: Why do they call them fingers? I've never seen them fing. __________________ Just beat the devil out of it!!! - Bob Ross

04-10-2002, 10:17 AM	#19
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	Best joke they never used: In the episode where Homer creates the Flaming Homer drink and Moe steals it and calls it the Flaming Mo, they reconcile at the end. Why they didn't call that drink the "Flaming HoMo" after that, I'll never understand. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

04-10-2002, 10:20 AM	#20
GrantDawg World Champion Mis-speller Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Covington, Ga.	Lenny: "I logged on to the internet"

04-10-2002, 10:38 AM	#21
MIJB#19 Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Maassluis, Zuid-Holland, Netherlands	"Daddy? I think I wet my bed..." [ 04-10-2002: Message edited by: MIJB#19 ] __________________ * 2005 Golden Scribe winner for best FOF Dynasty about IHOF's Maassluis Merchantmen * Former GM of GEFL's Houston Oilers and WOOF's Curacao Cocktail

04-10-2002, 11:50 AM	#22
BillJasper Pro Starter Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Northern Kentucky	"Have the Rolling Stones killed." Mr. Burns after watching the Ramones perform at his birthday party. "Your house smells like feces... and not just monkey feces." Homer __________________ The Confederacy lost, it is time to dismantle it.

04-10-2002, 02:38 PM	#23
airhog	" I like my women hot, and my gays Flaming"

04-10-2002, 02:51 PM	#24
Lost Senator n00b Join Date: Mar 2002	This thread was revived after over a year?

04-10-2002, 02:53 PM	#25
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	Snowed In. The kids tied up Seymour Skinner in a dodgeball sack while they are trapped in the school. While trapped, he sends off his pet Nibbles to go find help. At the end, he is happy to find Nibbles returned with the Simpson family and Ned Flanders to get them out. Principal Skinner: You did it, Nibbles! Now, chew through my ball-sack. --- Another scene from that, the snow is melting away.. Bart: Look the snow's melting! Ralph: With a little help from our friend Sodium Chloride! Nelson proceeds to beat the living crap out of Ralphy Wiggum.

04-10-2002, 02:58 PM	#26
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	Another, on the stranded island episode, its a little vague but I remember the funny part. Lisa: Remember, if anyone finds anything to eat, dont eat the purple berries!! Ralph: I ated the purple berries! Lisa: ..What'd it taste like, Ralph? Ralph: It tastes like.. burning!

04-10-2002, 04:10 PM	#28
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	damn, true. i remember you correcting me too, lol. ive got the audio, i swear it sounds like ralph

04-10-2002, 04:16 PM	#29
Schmidty Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Early, TX	Ralph: Hi Lisa! Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers! I'm learnding! __________________ Just beat the devil out of it!!! - Bob Ross

04-11-2002, 08:52 AM	#31
Nevstar	(setting fire to high school diploma) I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-A-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T!

04-11-2002, 10:08 AM	#32
ravenhawk	"I'm Idaho!" "Yes Ralph, we know you are."

04-11-2002, 10:28 AM	#33
Braggadocioussssss Banned Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lollipop ln.	actualy she says "Of course you are Ralph" :-) Homer : "Well, it seems that the cat burgaler was caught by the very person that was trying to catch him." Principal Skinner : "How Ironic."

04-12-2002, 12:38 AM	#34
craptacular	In the military school episode (but while she's still in Springfield Elementary), Lisa's class watches a couple of filmstrips, including one about the moon. The filmstrip talks about how we will establish colonies on the moon by 1964 (it was an OLD filmstrip), and how people will weigh much less on the moon than they would on Earth. It then shows some fat kid chowing down on some food, and the narrator (Troy McClure's dad??) says: "Whoa! Slow down there Tubby. You're not on the moon yet!" That one always cracks me up. [ 04-11-2002: Message edited by: Craptacular ]

04-26-2002, 10:51 PM	#35
Braggadocioussssss Banned Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lollipop ln.	Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No! Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal! Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal. ____ also Maude Flanders: Edna, I really don't think we're talking about love. We're talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N. Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron! I thought they closed that place down! _____ once more Kent Brockman: Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be... THE KILLBOT FACTORY!

04-26-2002, 10:55 PM	#36
easy mac	Security Guy: Surely you cant put a price on your family's life. Homer: I wouldn't think think so either, yet here we are.

04-27-2002, 04:15 PM	#37
kcchief19 Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Kansas City, MO	That sex chauldron line always gets me. At the salue to Seymour Skinner night: Lisa: A young Seymour Skinner served in Vietnam, earning a Purple Heart. Ralph: Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school. Lisa? Lisa: Upon retiring home, Seymour Skinner fulfilled his lifelong goal of becoming principal of Sprinfield Elementary. Ralph: When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar.

04-28-2002, 01:58 AM	#38
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	Daddy's chest is crying