Official Battle for Bonne Terre Thread

[Poli]

Recently, a former friend of mine by the nickname of "Hulsey" decided to join HT and the FOF Forum.

Hulsey thought it would be cute to put his team right in Bonne Terre. East Bonne Terre, mind you. East Bonne Terre can be associated with Potosi. To understand that, insert your favorite joke about incest.

I won't even mention he built this stadium that holds 7,000 right next door to the prison. It was there or the elementary school; can you believe what he chose??

Anyway, he has declared the North County Raiders name for his own, yet has taken the colors of the evil empire...the Farmington Knights. How sick, how disgusting. How The Afoci.

This upcoming Wednesday will settle this dispute once and for all. Off come the gloves, peanut butter, and references to Taco Bell.

Let's make no mistake. Head coach Ralph Montalvo won't be scoring the winning goal in this game. Too much is on the line. We're talking full fledge starters. I'll mangle these Razors. There will be death and mayhem. There will be Taco Bell afterward. Shoot, I forgot that I can't reference to Taco Bell. There will be pizza afterward.

I have entered the home of this "Hulsey". I will tell you this. He is a North County Raider fan. He has a North County Raider blanket. He has a Jerome Bettis bobble head doll.

Ask the average Bonne Terre citizen who they support, and they'll say the North County Raiders. No one here has even seen the Razors play. They won't, either, until they play at the North County Raider's home field. You see, instead of playing in his little pig pen of a field, he conceded to play in West Bonne Terre. Home of all that is good and right with Bonne Terre. Witness the Bonne Terre Mines. Witness the Dave Sumner-Raider Field...conveniently built over the former junior high and elementary school of "Hulsey".

In short, Hulsey must pay for his mockery of the Raiders. He will soon be moving to North Dakota.

[Raven Hawk]

Ummm . . . who would want Bonne Terre, anyways? I heard that it was full of termites.

[The Afoci]

Sadly, Ardent, has spent to long at sea and fails to see the reality that exists now. His elder squad has been surpassed and his ideas are old. Hulsey, who ironically supports The Fighting Crawfish, may be weak at the moment, his team is new, but expect him to crush the weak and old NCR soon.

Now he may build next to the prison so that the NCR can have most of their players show up on time because of work release program.

As many now know, Ardent has to resort to playing new teams for a victory. When he plays a good squad, such as the Great Fighting Crawfish, they lose. Cowards!

Hopefully he won't resort to the thug tactics he used against me injuring 2 of my players for 11 weeks total. The man is a cruel coward!

[Poli]

Originally posted by The Afoci
Sadly, Ardent, has spent to long at sea and fails to see the reality that exists now. His elder squad has been surpassed and his ideas are old. Hulsey, who ironically supports The Fighting Crawfish, may be weak at the moment, his team is new, but expect him to crush the weak and old NCR soon.

Now he may build next to the prison so that the NCR can have most of their players show up on time because of work release program.

As many now know, Ardent has to resort to playing new teams for a victory. When he plays a good squad, such as the Great Fighting Crawfish, they lose. Cowards!

Hopefully he won't resort to the thug tactics he used against me injuring 2 of my players for 11 weeks total. The man is a cruel coward!

I'll have you note that I may have been at sea for 7 months, but it did not stop you from delivering peanut butter to the Field every day. That got a little annoying, and I've got to tell you the truth, Hulsey gained a little weight from all the peanut butter! When I say a little, I'm being nice.

At any rate, Hulsey challenged me for all that is right and good in Bonne Terre. Even if he wins (which is impossible), we all know that he is from East Bonne Terre and could never be good and right. He couldn't even just be good or right.

As for the crying about injuries: I told you I like to eat crawdeads!

[Poli]

Originally posted by hulsey
Flattery will get you nowhere.

And neither will the Razors.

Get it right AE, it's in BETWEEN the prison and the elementry school!

Yeah, and so is the East Bonne Terre hood, but I tried not to mention that small fact.

True. We had to think long and hard about this decision. Farmington is hated every bit as much in east B.T. as it is on the west side. But we had to show our solidarity and our determination to break with the evil Raiders and to show our disgust to the betrayel of the once beloved Caesar, the player who broke our hearts.

Right. And if you leave a tooth under your pillow...

Whatever! Truth is, you could have worn the fabled blue and gold and actually try to win some fans over. Instead you chose to disgust your own fan base with that disgusting combination of colors. Oh, the shame. The disgrace. To think, I have to play against this!

It'll only be the beginning.

The beginning? The beginning of what? A slaughter? Honestly, Vanderbilt has more of a chance than you do.

The blanket is to remind us of the betrayel, and give us the hope that we will one day reclaim the name of the Raiders and restore their honor.

Let's be real here. That blanket is what you cuddle with at night to keep out the cold. No need to front. We all know you cried when Blue died in Old School. No need to try and fool everyone into thinking the Raiders are evil. FOFC knows better.

Everyone on the east side has one of those bobble heads. That doesn't mean we want them. AE sneaks out every night and places one on each of our doorsteps!

Truth is, everyone has a bobblehead because they come to the Raider games. How many fans have been to a "Razors" game?

I'm not moving to Canada!

Too bad!

GO RAZORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go "away" Razors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[saintjo]

just keep your battles out of st louis. you "other" missouri people scare me

[Poli]

Originally posted by hulsey
No, actually, I challenged you for the money.

Further proof that the Ockham's Razors are a sham!

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by ardent enthusiast
Further proof that the Ockham's Razors are a sham!

Your idealistic ideas are outdated man. Soccer nowadays is about the cash man. Plus, you claim to be about the game. Where is Dave Sumner? Oh yeah, you sold him for a big lump of cash. Not only that, my momma said you were small. Perhaps you could use some of that cash for enhancement pills. Chump.

[Poli]

I deeply regret having to sell Dave Sumner. I could use his ability to squash you and Hulsey. Unfortunately, that would be fun for only 5 minutes, and then I'd have to worry about the future of the team.

Maybe if you'd sit back and watch you'd learn something. You see, the NC Raiders will soon be in D3. I forget, what division are you in?

Enhancement pills? How about wins? I got those.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by ardent enthusiast
I deeply regret having to sell Dave Sumner. I could use his ability to squash you and Hulsey. Unfortunately, that would be fun for only 5 minutes, and then I'd have to worry about the future of the team.

Maybe if you'd sit back and watch you'd learn something. You see, the NC Raiders will soon be in D3. I forget, what division are you in?

Enhancement pills? How about wins? I got those.

You are stupid.

I got nothing.

[Poli]

I'm stupid? I didn't realize I'm in North Dakota.

Wait, I'm not in North Dakota.

You do have D5, all to yourself. Hulsey will be in D6 next year. Certainly is fun looking down on you two.

[The Afoci]

Well, we will both be in DIV in two years after the horrible accident that happens to Jerome Bettis.

[Poli]

Originally posted by The Afoci
Well, we will both be in DIV in two years after the horrible accident that happens to Jerome Bettis.

You mean I'll be in D4, and you'll be in the Bonne Terre Prison watching Razor games.

[Poli]

Originally posted by hulsey
Hmm....let's see, you're stadium seats 44000, and mine 7000. Looks like a smart move to me. But then you've never been accused of being smart unless that word was followed by ellic.

You forgot. I have fans, and you don't. That's the smart move.

[sterlingice]

I suppose the battles for the Universe, Galaxy, Solar System, Earth, Hemisphere, North America, USA, a shorter workday, More Cheese Pizza, Boise, Congressional Supremacy, Guam, Pretzels, Wayne Gretzky's Hair, Clean Wool Socks, Mildew, a Better Way to Wash Clothes, Beanie Babies, Waffle Irons, Smaller Fonts, and the Battle for Whether to Use Colored Staples as Opposed to the Normal Silver Ones were all taken?

SI

[Poli]

Originally posted by sterlingice
I suppose the battles for the Universe, Galaxy, Solar System, Earth, Hemisphere, North America, USA, a shorter workday, More Cheese Pizza, Boise, Congressional Supremacy, Guam, Pretzels, Wayne Gretzky's Hair, Clean Wool Socks, Mildew, a Better Way to Wash Clothes, Beanie Babies, Waffle Irons, Smaller Fonts, and the Battle for Whether to Use Colored Staples as Opposed to the Normal Silver Ones were all taken?

SI

SI, if you could only see Bonne Terre, you would know the significance. Do yourself a favor and stay away from East Bonne Terre, though.

All that is Good and Right hinges on this battle. Jerome Bettis has vowed that victory will be ours. We're concentrating on running our wicked 253 offense. We shall score, and score often!

I did notice, however, in this list of rather important and rather non-important issues that you did not include anything about

a) hippos

or

b) North Dakota.

[saintjo]

make the game interesting...
looser's match kit has to be all pink for all their cup matches next season.

[Poli]

I'm game. Except, Hulsey will only have one cup match next season .

[Havok]

Picking on a defenseless Hattrick newbie huh AE.... your more then welcome to come into the "The Island Of Misfitz Toyz" and try out you luck. But i must warn ya..... all who have tryed have failed!!!!!

[Poli]

Originally posted by Havok
Picking on a defenseless Hattrick newbie huh AE.... your more then welcome to come into the "The Island Of Misfitz Toyz" and try out you luck. But i must warn ya..... all who have tryed have failed!!!!!

This guy came after me. Touting he was in North County before me, and yada yada yada.

You know, I'm not holding rights to the school colors. So, why did he choose Farmington's colors?

Traitor.

He shall die like the crawdeads I had two weeks ago.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by ardent enthusiast
This guy came after me. Touting he was in North County before me, and yada yada yada.

You know, I'm not holding rights to the school colors. So, why did he choose Farmington's colors?

Traitor.

He shall die like the crawdeads I had two weeks ago.

You may have hurt two of my players, but I still won the match.

[sterlingice]

Originally posted by Havok
Picking on a defenseless Hattrick newbie huh AE.... your more then welcome to come into the "The Island Of Misfitz Toyz" and try out you luck. But i must warn ya..... all who have tryed have failed!!!!!

I suppose now would *not* be the time to point out that "all" includes one team

SI

[Poli]

Notice anyone missing? Say, Hulsey? Yes, Mr. Chicken has yet to accept the pink wearing uni challenge!

He's scared. Just like The Afoci.

[lytic]

Well, we will both be in DIV in two years after the horrible accident that happens to Jerome Bettis.

Jerome sucks... and you don't have to be smart to join the Navy. Why is it that they Navy sews their uniform name tapes to their ass again?

BTW, as a loser of a "FOFC Pink Match," I've since gone undefeated since I've doned the pink unis.

[Poli]

Originally posted by hulsey
The Razors will where there new uniforms with pride.

Please, you need not explain this sentence.

[leverb66]

AE , Don't you just hate it when you you introduce someone to HT and then they do better than you, promote their first two seasons, while your stuck playing in the same series season after season. And the only thing you can do to keep the game interesting is write stories about animals with weapons, because all of your players suck......wait that's not you...CRUSH these Razors.

Keep the ND jokes to a minimum please, we know they're easy.

[Poli]

Originally posted by leverb66
Keep the ND jokes to a minimum please, we know they're easy.

Couldn't you just move?

[leverb66]

Originally posted by hulsey
Yeah, he's gonna crush me this year, probably next year.....and the year after that.............But one day the Razors will win!

Don't be too sure The_Afoci brought me into this game and I'm way better than him...the key is to not spend too much time on imaginary laser blasters and look for better players.

Another hint for you is to not piss of the HT-team by running joke campaigns for canadian offices'. Not that I don't take my position as self appointed campaign manager seriously, but it can be a distraction.

[The Afoci]

BoB, if it wasn't for me, you would have nothing. Your best midfielder would be a forward or defender if not for me! Not only that, but my 'imaginary lasers' as you put it have protected you. Well no more. I will let you perform in DIII on your own. No help from the Crawfish anymore. As for self appointed Campaign mangaer, some job you did. You managed to piss of the entire country and even a supporter of me didn't vote for me, cough FROGMAN! cough.

[The Afoci]

Ardent makes fun of my Canada campaign showing no mercy and then to look like the nice guy deletes it. You all don't know the real ardent!

[Poli]

dork.

[The Afoci]

I try.

[Poli]

I know, I know.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by ardent enthusiast
I know you and hulsey will crush me, I know you and hulsey will crush me.

Man, I am getting good at this.

[Poli]

You're getting good at something, that's for sure.

[The Afoci]

Hulsey, you must stay strong. That PM you sent me about Ardent wanting to bet 'A Navy Night' on the game scared me too. I wonder what he meant by 'bend over as the ship is arriving'? And he says North Dakota is weird.

[Poli]

At least it's not "Peanut Butter and Crawdeads Night".

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by ardent enthusiast
At least it's not "Peanut Butter and Crawdeads Night".

As the peanut butter said to the dog, eat me.

[Poli]

Your peanut butter speaks?

[The Afoci]

This is perhaps the greatest peanut butter in the world. I won't have glaucoma.

[The Afoci]

Nothing from Ardent today. Perhaps the fear of losing finally got to him. Either that or he is on a super secret Navy mission to get matching shoes to go with the new crotchless uniforms they have.

[Poli]

Nope, although I was on a super secret mission. Go check out your stadium.

[The Afoci]

Real mature Ardent. Spray painting North County isn't about Butt Raiding won't change the public perception. Especially if you use hot pink spray paint.

[Poli]

Darn Hulsey. Last time I send him on a mission. He really screwed that one up!

[lytic]

The navy doesn't "work." Come on now!

[The Afoci]

First off, we both know Hulsey couldn't spell North County Raiders, let alone figure out how to use spray paint. Second, he is siding with me on the good versus evil battle for the universe!

[Poli]

HA! You admit you are fighting the evil battle! Victory is mine!

[saintjo]

GO RAIDERS!!!!!

at least there is something interesting going on tonight in a friendly

Looking forward to the USA Cup so I can cheer...
GO PINK RAZORS!!!

[Poli]

Thanks, saintjo! We're both looking forward to the game. I'm glad to hear he's going to wear pink!

[The Afoci]

Next week, hulsey and I are having a death match to see who gets to pummel the NCR next.