OT - Verbal slips can sometimes have very funny results.

Dutch · 11-13-2003, 06:36 PM

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000
'84 War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Stud Tires Out
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops off Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

http://www.english-usa.net/humor-jokes/ to find even more.

mckerney · 11-13-2003, 06:48 PM

I enjoyed these from the resume section:

Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not work under those conditions. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store. Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as "job-hopping." I have never quit a job.
I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse
Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
It's best for employers that I not work with people.
I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

Drake · 11-13-2003, 06:54 PM

I liked the headline I saw in USA Today this morning:

Freak storm descends on southern California

True on so many levels.

mckerney · 11-13-2003, 06:56 PM

For those interested in the church sign section:

The Church Sign Generator

tucker342 · 11-13-2003, 06:58 PM

ice4277 · 11-13-2003, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mckerney
For those interested in the church sign section:

The Church Sign Generator

ooooh that is great

CamEdwards · 11-13-2003, 08:16 PM

this could be fun.

Suicane75 · 11-13-2003, 09:13 PM

11-13-2003, 06:48 PM	#2
mckerney Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	I enjoyed these from the resume section: Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not work under those conditions. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store. Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as "job-hopping." I have never quit a job. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions. It's best for employers that I not work with people. I was working for my mom until she decided to move. Last edited by mckerney : 11-13-2003 at 06:48 PM.

11-13-2003, 08:16 PM	#7
CamEdwards Stadium Announcer Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Burke, VA	this could be fun. __________________ I don't want the world. I just want your half.

11-13-2003, 06:54 PM	#3
Drake assmaster Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bloomington, IN	I liked the headline I saw in USA Today this morning: Freak storm descends on southern California True on so many levels.

11-13-2003, 06:56 PM	#4
mckerney Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	For those interested in the church sign section: The Church Sign Generator

11-13-2003, 06:58 PM	#5
tucker342 Pro Starter Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Iowa City, IA

11-13-2003, 09:13 PM	#8
Suicane75 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: NJ

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