Oh My God, Trista and Ryan are Mixing the sand

Easy Mac · 12-10-2003, 09:33 PM

My girfriend called me and told me she wants our wedding to cost $4 million... I asked if she wanted Steve Lavin to preside over our wedding too... she asked who Lavin was, and I hung up.

Anyway, the Bachelorette and some guy were mixing sand in some weird marriage ritual... I give it 3 months.

Ksyrup · 12-10-2003, 09:34 PM

My wife is watching. I just came into the bedroom after watching hockey. This is beyond unbearable.

Easy Mac · 12-10-2003, 09:36 PM

Classic.... the minister was looking off camera waiting for his cue... and dammit groom, get a fucking haircut.

Oh, and who won the Marlyand Florida game? I've been writing another long paper, and so I had to turn it off.

Ksyrup · 12-10-2003, 09:41 PM

...'til helicopters do we part.

Easy Mac · 12-10-2003, 09:43 PM

That guy looks like Kirk Heinrich... and I fully expect him to say no right now and take a million dollars out of no where

Easy Mac · 12-10-2003, 09:43 PM

dammit

Ksyrup · 12-10-2003, 09:44 PM

...and no end to the pain and suffering of millions of men everywhere.

Easy Mac · 12-10-2003, 09:45 PM

she's got horse teeth.

Buccaneer · 12-10-2003, 09:55 PM

Bad idea. I went upstair to ask my wife, "who are these people and why do we care about them?". She bit my head off. I still don't who these people are (except my wife said the guy is firefighter from Vail, big whoopydoo) or why anyone would care to watch a wedding on TV. I assume that they are connected to a reality show so I would alter the previous sentence to read "...watch a scripted hyped wedding".

Draft Dodger · 12-10-2003, 09:56 PM

who are they?

Chief Rum · 12-10-2003, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Easy Mac
I asked if she wanted Steve Lavin to preside over our wedding too... she asked who Lavin was, and I hung up.

This is a good thing.

With Lavin as the minister, you would have a flower girl who keeps dropping the flowers, and a ringbearer with no basic understanding of his job. The groomsmen would constantly be out of position, and half the bridesmaids won't show up because they're on academic suspension from the wedding. There wouldn't even be a wedding singer--Lavin forgot to recruit one. Half the invited guests won't show up until after the bride walks down the aisle, and will leave before "you may kiss the bride", because Lavin has set their expectations for the marriage too low. Lavin will be rolling along fine, until he calls a timeout at an inopportune time to check the book to see if he is getting the words right.

Afterwards, Lavin will convince everyone he did a good job by making a great speech, flashing a dazzling smile and ponting out that five of the last seven marriages he has presided over have not yet dissolved into divorce. With that, he will take his million dollar honorarium and leave for his posh estate in Malibu.

CR

mauchow · 12-10-2003, 09:59 PM

Yay, it's finally done.. Time to play Final Fantasy X-2.. Yippeee

Easy Mac · 12-10-2003, 10:01 PM

I was just more upset she didn't know who steve Lavin was... you try and teach them these things, and they just don't get it... but hey, she knows what the BCS is.

Craptacular · 12-10-2003, 10:40 PM

What the fuck is wrong with this country?

Draft Dodger · 12-10-2003, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Craptacular
What the fuck is wrong with this country?

two words:

Tee.
Vee.

CamEdwards · 12-10-2003, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Buccaneer
Bad idea. I went upstair to ask my wife, "who are these people and why do we care about them?". She bit my head off. I still don't who these people are (except my wife said the guy is firefighter from Vail, big whoopydoo) or why anyone would care to watch a wedding on TV. I assume that they are connected to a reality show so I would alter the previous sentence to read "...watch a scripted hyped wedding".

Thank you, Bucc. I'm with you on this one. I simply don't get these stupid "reality" shows. In fact, I confess to not watching a hell of a lot of tv, although I did catch South Park tonight for the first time in about a year.

digamma · 12-10-2003, 11:50 PM

There is actually a football connection in all of this. Ryan played football at Colorado and had a cup of coffee in the NFL. I think he was a 6th round draft choice--maybe of the Panthers, but I don't remember for sure.

Glengoyne · 12-11-2003, 05:15 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Easy Mac
.... I asked if she wanted Steve Lavin to preside over our wedding too... she asked who Lavin was, and I hung up.

...

This girl I dated before discovering my wife came to my apartment one day. I started a Cat Stevens CD, and began to cozy up.
Her:"Who is that?"
Me: "Cat Stevens, Tea for the Tillerman"
Her:"How old are you anyway?"

FrogMan · 12-11-2003, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by digamma
There is actually a football connection in all of this. Ryan played football at Colorado and had a cup of coffee in the NFL. I think he was a 6th round draft choice--maybe of the Panthers, but I don't remember for sure.

yes! I remember reading about this in one of the NFL preview mag, maybe Athlon. If I remember correctly, he played exactly one play (or was it one series) in the preseason for either the Panthers or Jaguars and got hurt with some dislocation of some sort (elbow or shoulder) and was later cut...

FM

timmyw3 · 12-11-2003, 07:17 AM

Actually Ryan was a draft pick of the Ravens back in 98 and I got to know him pretty well when I covered their training camps back in the day. Didn't make the cut though and then caught on with Carolina the following year before he got hurt and then gave it up.

He was actually a really good guy when I knew him which is basically the only reason why I had a passing interest in that circus and why I've lost all respect for him at this point.

Pyser · 12-11-2003, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Glengoyne
This girl I dated before discovering my wife came to my apartment one day.

um, does that mean you dated her until she found out you were married, or you dated her until you met your wife?

ISiddiqui · 12-11-2003, 01:47 PM

Hehe... I was watching TV with one of my female friends. She turned to the 'wedding' when the mixing of the sand came on, said it was stupid and changed the channel. Glad I didn't have to see more of that, I probably would have gouged my eyes out

.

12-10-2003, 09:34 PM	#2
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	My wife is watching. I just came into the bedroom after watching hockey. This is beyond unbearable. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

12-10-2003, 09:41 PM	#4
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	...'til helicopters do we part. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

12-10-2003, 09:44 PM	#7
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	...and no end to the pain and suffering of millions of men everywhere. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

12-10-2003, 09:56 PM	#10
Draft Dodger Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Keene, NH	who are they? __________________ Mile High Hockey

12-11-2003, 01:47 PM	#22
ISiddiqui Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Decatur, GA	Hehe... I was watching TV with one of my female friends. She turned to the 'wedding' when the mixing of the sand came on, said it was stupid and changed the channel. Glad I didn't have to see more of that, I probably would have gouged my eyes out . __________________ "A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages" -Tennessee Williams

12-10-2003, 09:36 PM	#3
Easy Mac Registered User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Here	Classic.... the minister was looking off camera waiting for his cue... and dammit groom, get a fucking haircut. Oh, and who won the Marlyand Florida game? I've been writing another long paper, and so I had to turn it off.

12-10-2003, 09:43 PM	#5
Easy Mac Registered User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Here	That guy looks like Kirk Heinrich... and I fully expect him to say no right now and take a million dollars out of no where

12-10-2003, 09:45 PM	#8
Easy Mac Registered User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Here	she's got horse teeth.

12-10-2003, 09:55 PM	#9
Buccaneer Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Colorado	Bad idea. I went upstair to ask my wife, "who are these people and why do we care about them?". She bit my head off. I still don't who these people are (except my wife said the guy is firefighter from Vail, big whoopydoo) or why anyone would care to watch a wedding on TV. I assume that they are connected to a reality show so I would alter the previous sentence to read "...watch a scripted hyped wedding".

12-10-2003, 09:59 PM	#12
mauchow Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Murfreesboro, TN	Yay, it's finally done.. Time to play Final Fantasy X-2.. Yippeee

12-10-2003, 10:01 PM	#13
Easy Mac Registered User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Here	I was just more upset she didn't know who steve Lavin was... you try and teach them these things, and they just don't get it... but hey, she knows what the BCS is.

12-10-2003, 10:40 PM	#14
Craptacular College Starter Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: The Mad City, WI	What the fuck is wrong with this country?

12-10-2003, 11:50 PM	#17
digamma Torchbearer Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: On Lake Harriet	There is actually a football connection in all of this. Ryan played football at Colorado and had a cup of coffee in the NFL. I think he was a 6th round draft choice--maybe of the Panthers, but I don't remember for sure.

12-11-2003, 07:17 AM	#20
timmyw3 H.S. Freshman Team Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Baltimore, MD	Actually Ryan was a draft pick of the Ravens back in 98 and I got to know him pretty well when I covered their training camps back in the day. Didn't make the cut though and then caught on with Carolina the following year before he got hurt and then gave it up. He was actually a really good guy when I knew him which is basically the only reason why I had a passing interest in that circus and why I've lost all respect for him at this point.

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