ZFL Draft RESUMED!

[revrew]

The ZFL is set to resume its draft following recent tragedies. I have communicated with digamma, and he and I are ready to resume. The following report shall include draft order, the draft board, and then Fargo will be considered on the clock.


THIRD ROUND:
PT

QB:
Little Rock - Johnny Rotten, 22 "He will go #1, end of story, to Little Rock or by trade. It's rare a QB comes to the ZFL with this much talent. Thumbless and Sizzlack will have a competitor in the very near future."
B. 23 "The Army isn't known for producing great QBs. And though leadership and toughness are here, talent isn't. This QB will likely go late third to a team hoping for a miracle."
C. 21 "He's young and mobile, but erratic. An athlete who may not be cut out to be a field general."
D. 23 "A Div.III slinger who nonetheless shows bad mechanics."

HB:
El Paso - Blair Thomas, 21 "Young, elusive, with a great burst. Reminds you of a poor man's Clinton Portis, and deserves consideration in the top 5."
Knoxville - Sprint Jackson, 21 "A young workhorse who has the talent to go in the second, but may not get a look until later in the RB-rich ZFL."
G. 22 "No star potential."

FB:
San Antonio - Teeny, 21 "Powerful young blocker who showed soft hands as a TE in college. The transition to ZFL FB should go smoothly; a top 10 talent."
Portland - Chief Eunuch, 22 "Blocked for a Div I superstar runningback, but never really impressed on his own. Third rounder, likely."
J. 24 "Has the same kind of rep as (I.), but a bit older."
K. 23 "I can't imagine he'd really contribute."

WR:
Fargo - Lobsterboy, 22 "The NFL promised him a special teams role. But he wanted more. He deserves more. A Div II megastar, 6'1, 190, great body positioning and crisp routes that will make him a star in the timing-route heavy ZFL. Top 5 for sure."
Cincinnati - Senor Cardgage, 22 "What he does after the catch is special. At 5'10 165 he won't overpower, but just try to catch him after he gets the ball. Top 10 talent."
Milwaukee - Lightning, 24 "An NFLE standout who has put in his dues for 3 years. All he does is catch the ball. Great hands. Deserves a look in the first, but will definitely be gone by the early 2nd."
El Paso - Marcus Nash, 23 "An Arena League standout who uses a lot of speed, but isn't polished or disciplined enough to really be a star. Still, he'll go second to third and find a spot to start somewhere."
Chicago - Randy Fitzgerald, 20 "Untested JuCo player who has speed and agility, but whose numbers never matched up. Still, with his potential, several teams will consider him in the third."
Portland - Frank the Wonder Fish, 23 "A converted QB who is definitely athletic, but even at 23 is still a bit of a project. He's good enough to be a bench player, but has an upside that could earn him a starting role."

OT:
Little Rock - Dan 'Small Daddy' Wilkerson, 23 "Dependable, well-disciplined player from a small school. Watching him on film impresses. He'll be starting somewhere after getting drafted late first, early second."
Fargo - Janet Jacksons Boob, 23 "Can your coaching staff spin this 6'8 384 pound mammoth into gold? All the body is there, but he's very unpolished. Still, that much mass is worth a look in the second."
Cincinnati - Doragon, 20 "Feisty JuCo star who played more with fire than with ability. A second to third rounder who, if he can be taught, should develop into a starter."
U. 24 "He's not cutting it in NFLE, and I don't think he'll cut it here."
V. 24 "It's time to find another career, fatso."

OG:
Los Angeles - Howard Stern, 24 "A proven track record in college. A proven track record in NFLE. There's no reason this 6'3 305 pound guard hasn't been given his shot in the NFL. We'll gladly take him, draft him top 5, and show the NFL what they've been missing."
Albuquerque - Comic Book Guy, 20 "A young athlete who loves pushing people out of the way. Real blue-collar attitude. Should go second round."
Birmingham - John Doe, 23 "Second to third for this guard who has shown some spark in the CFL, but may still need a bit of work to realize his potential."
Milwuakee - Hole Opener, 23 "Perhaps late third for this sizeable, but talent-deprived guard."
AA. 23 "What I said about (Z) was a compliment compared to what I could say about this guy."
BB. 24 "I doubt he'll be drafted."
CC. 22 "Perhaps professional wrestling would suit you better."


DT:
Los Angeles - Orlando Bloom, 22 "A gargantuan grave digger from the University of Miami. He didn't start there, but this much of a beefy runstuffer is worth considering in the second."
Chicago - Mel Andelettionicalifrackis, 24 "A first-round NFL pick from Notre Dame. Unfortunately, a knee injury scared away his former team, and he's looking to make a comeback through the ZFL. The injury might be a problem, but you still gotta consider him in the second."
Knoxville - John Harvard Jackson, 23 "Harvard isn't known for producing great football players, but this DT was one of their best in recent years. No pun intended, he's smart, and mechanically sound enough to consider second round."
Milwaukee - I eat RB's for Lunch, 22 "He was good at plugging holes at Washington State, but doesn't show enough upfield burst to excel in the ZFL. Second to third, but doubtful he'll star."
e. 21 "I can't recommend him, no matter how large he is."

DE:
Knoxville - Al Jackson, 22 "A converted OLB with tons of speed, though he needs to beef up a bit. Lightning fast off the line, and worthy of top 5 consideration."
El Paso - Courtney Brown, 22 "As opposed to (f.), he's no speed demon, but he can hold the end and outmuscle an OT. Solid player worth looking at in the second, maybe third."
Los Angeles - Bill Murray, 23 "Third round should take this small-school DE off the board. He produced numbers, even if he lacks prototype size."
Portland - Zeke the Quake God, 21 "A young project, but at 6'5 and speedy, you gotta consider him in the third."
j. 23 "Another small school dynamo, but may be too small to ever leave a ZFL bench."
k. 20 "A JuCo project whose chances of panning out are shaky. The body is there, but the work ethic isn't."
l. 24 "Here you've got work ethic, but zero talent. Too bad this guy won't likely be drafted; he's a good guy."

MLB:
Portland - Pop Daddy Fuzz, 21 "Probably the only MLB who will get drafted. He's a tenacious tackler, but short and slow for the wide open ZFL."
n. 21 "A natural athlete, but he doesn't show good game smarts. Might make a better kicker than linebacker. May not even be drafted."
o. 22 "Small school tackle machine, but he missed a bunch, too. Having a hard time finding a single impressive game tape..."

OLB:
El Paso - Mike Croel, 21 "A young OLB who was overshadowed at his Div I school by better defenders. Worth late consideration, but he doesn't look impressive enough in space to star. 3rd round."
San Antonio - Pops, 21 "Not many props for this Div III standout, but he wows with strength and speed. Young enough to be a late-round project."
r. 23 "Maybe in the 42nd round..."

S:
Little Rock - Ronnie Lott, Jr., 22 "At 5'10, he's a little small for a safety, but he's built like a rock and fast enough to cover. A hard-hitter worth second-round consideration."
Fargo - Tom, 24 "Wasn't impressive in college, but in the CFL he turned some heads. Ready for a deserved shot in the ZFL. Second round material."
u. 23 "That's it for safeties. None of the rest are fast enough to cut it in the ZFL."
v. 22 "See above."

CB:
Chicago - Sean Sharper, 22 "He doesn't have the hands to play WR, but he's got the speed and then some. Agility drills were awesome. Maybe he is raw, but he's got the athleticism to go top 5 in this draft."
Los Angeles - Mira Sorvino, 20 "A good looking JuCo project. Silky smooth 6'2, good agility. He takes too many chances, but give him time. Might go late second, but for sure in the third."
y. 24 "His size (6'3) has always been intriguing, but on the NFLE field, he got burned like a marshmallow dropped in the campfire. I don't think starting over in the ZFL will help."

K:
Portland - Juan "Voodoo" Jalisco, 21 "Former highschool track and baseball star who wowed many in a reality TV show. Athletic, strong, fast, dogged determination--most impressive kicker we've seen in a while. Where do you draft a kicker with top 5 talent?"
Albuquerque - Sir Gary Coleman, 22 "Not the fastest kicker we've seen, but his strength to size ratio and overall athleticism will make him some team's starting kicker."
Cincinnati - Thikkaman, 23 "Brainy, skilled, swift. Has a mastery of unusual sports. He'll be a ZFL starter, too."
cc. 22 "Not in the same class as the top 3 kickers, but wirey and deceptively strong. Could get a look in the third round."

[The Afoci]

Fargo selects OT S, Janet Jacksons Boob.

[DolphinFan1]

Revrew and Digamma, my families prayers are with you and you families.

Revrew, I am also ready to make my picks when it's my turn. Everything is starting to get back to normal over here. Thanks.

[MIJB#19]

Finally, I already started my own dynasty thread out of boredom, but now I can stop before it will become a shameful battle for the #1 draft pick in the IHOF.

[illinifan999]

With their pick in the second round, the Chicago Eagles select DT b. 24 out of Notre Dame. He shall be known as Mel Andelettionicalifrackis

[tucker342]

YAY! It's back!

[JeeberD]

El Paso selects DE (g), aka Courtney Brown.

[revrew]

Originally Posted by The Afoci

Fargo selects OT S, Janet Jacksons Boob.

Y'know, Fargo, at 6'8 384, this tackle has boobs that put Janet Jackson to shame.

[tucker342]

With there only pick in the draft: Birmingham Selects - OG (Y.) Wouldn't wanna see his nipple

[MIJB#19]

I see Fargo just broke the ZFL rules that clearly state "It is only allowed to the Knoxville Rednecks to draft a person or parts of a person named Jackson".

[NevStar]

Editorials from Fargo

Janet Jackson's Boob has break out camp
JJ's Boob leads the way
The Crawfish depend on JJ's Boob

fast forward 10 years

Best years behind JJ's Boob
JJ's Boob should give it up
Resurgance of JJ's Boob motivates Fargo

[JAG]

Hm, I would've imagined seeing headlines like:

Janet Jackson's Boob's a bust!
JJ's Boob's sagging play leads to defeat
JJ's Boob is the best in the league!

Incidently, welcome back ZFL, owners, comish, and fans.

[korme]

The problem with the hiatus is that I have pretty much forgotten my weaknesses..

Could I get a roster or something?

[digamma]

You want to trade picks? It would give you a bit more time to think about it (a whole 'nother pick, actually).

[korme]

OT t. now known as Doragon

[digamma]

Knoxville selects DT c., John Harvard Jackson.

[JeeberD]

El Paso selects WR (O), Marcus Nash.

[DolphinFan1]

Milwaukee selects DT (d), I eat RB's for Lunch.


Trading block: I have 3 picks in the 3rd round. Picks: 5, 9 and 11. I am willing to package them for a OG. Please send me your offers.

[digamma]

Bump for Marmel

[Coffee Warlord]

There anything else you'd take for a couple of those 3rd rounders Dolphin?

[Marmel]

LA Selects CB x, and we are pleased to announce that The Stars are going to become the first ZFL team (I think) to draft and possibly in the near future, START, a female player. Who better to take the place of aging CB Paul Sorvino, than his very own daughter, and Oscar Winner, Mira Sorvino. Welcome to the ZFL Mira!

[NevStar]

Marmel stole my pick!

In retaliation, we're raiding his Hollywood stockpile of talent:

The Isotopes select:
K aa Sir Gary Coleman

[illinifan999]

Is Janet Jackson's Boob considered a female?

[JeeberD]

Is Dan 'Little Sister' Wilkinson considered a female?

[Coffee Warlord]

Portland, not to be outdone by the drafting of a female, digs deep and selects Fullback Chief Eunuch. (I)

[DolphinFan1]

Milwaukee and Portland would like to announce the following trade:

Milwaukee is trading our 5th and 9th picks in the 3rd round this year and also our 3rd round pick next year for Portland's 2nd round pick next year.

That would give Portland the 5th, 9th and 12th picks in the 3rd round and leave Milwaukee with the 11th pick this year.

[Coffee Warlord]

Portland confirms this exchange of irrelevant players.

[revrew]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

Portland confirms this exchange of irrelevant players.

So Now it looks like this:

THIRD ROUND:
LR, FG, CH, EP, PT, CN, KX, SA, PT, LA, MW, PT

[tucker342]

bump

[korme]

bizzle?

[JeeberD]

Little Rock....?

[The Afoci]

Am I up or is Little Rock?

[Swaggs]

Little Rock selects S (s.) Ronnie Lott Jr.

[illinifan999]

bump

[tucker342]

Fargo is up

[illinifan999]

l

[illinifan999]

I'm confused out of my mind. What number pick/round are we win?

[JeeberD]

We're on the second pick of the third round. Fargo is on the clock...

[The Afoci]

Fargo selects S t, now known as Tom.

[illinifan999]

Eagles select WR P. 20 who shall be known as Randy Fitzgerald

[JeeberD]

El Paso selects OLB (p), Mike Croel.

[digamma]

Bump for Portland

[Coffee Warlord]

Gah, sorry. Un momento.

[Coffee Warlord]

Portland selects DE Zeke the Quake God (i) (note which one, as I'm not taking the top DE remaining on the board.

[DolphinFan1]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

Portland selects DE Zeke the Quake God (i) (note which one, as I'm not taking the top DE remaining on the board.

Coffee, nice. I was thinking the same thing when I looked at the draft board. You and I think alike. Good luck with him.

[revrew]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

Portland selects DE Zeke the Quake God (i) (note which one, as I'm not taking the top DE remaining on the board.

Very Good! I was wondering if the ZFL draft would ever see a player go out of order. With the exception of a draft mixup a few years back that saw two OLBs get switched around, this is the first time someone has gone outside the order. Bravo! Nice job "reading into" the draft board. Such a move would have benefitted other drafters, both this year and in years past.

Now, to see if it payed off, or if CW made the biggest bonehead move in draft history. Good luck, CW -- I haven't looked to see yet whether Zeke is a bust, boom, or otherwise.

[JAG]

Interesting...I always wondered if it would make sense to do that.

[Coffee Warlord]

Either my draft this year will make me look like a genius, or it'll be one of the worst drafts in the history of the ZFL.

[tucker342]

lol

Shorty is up

[revrew]

Originally Posted by JAG

Interesting...I always wondered if it would make sense to do that.

JAG, and others -- when constructing the draft preview, I have always attempted to be as close to realistic as I can. I DO give hints as to who will bust and who will boom (just as scouts might have reservations or intuition about a player's "volatility"), but these hints are also very veiled. The same hint you may read to be an indication of a boomer, might mean a bust (remember the DT that was compared to Sapp a few drafts ago?). The comments about game film, athleticism, attitude, upside, playing time, experience in other leagues, etc. are not just random. There is a method to the madness. Whether that method is decipherable or not...that's up to you.