Getting major life advice

[panerd]

I will open this topic by just stating that I am a relative nobody who has fun with the IWS contests and browses thru different threads to see what other people's spin is on different hot topics and a little bit of TCY. But one topic I stay away from and have never really understood their purpose is people asking for major life advice. I understood the comroderie and connection that a lot of these board members feel for each other and don't even doubt the joys and downs you get from each others stories. And I don't even question the stories when they are posted on this board, I just don't read them. But when it comes to the major life decisions... isn't there a family member, loved one, or close friend you could consult that might know you a little better?

What kind of computer printer is the best deal nowadays? Would ask for sure.
Who are some good fantasy pitchers? Would probably ask.
Where should I go to college/work? Might ask, would use as just one opinion and not put any weight into negative responses if I liked the school/job offer.
Should I divorce my wife? Umm, no. Why would a bunch of people who are devoted to a line of computer games be able to handle a major life event like this? I think I would go to an expert or someone I really knew.

[MrBug708]

It gives you different perspectives, doesnt mean you'll a few if any advice....

[Fritz]

I dont know about getting marriage advice from a divorce expert.....

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by panerd

... isn't there a family member, loved one, or close friend you could consult that might know you a little better?

Just thinking out loud here, but FWIW ...

-- Sometimes "know you better" isn't always the best perspective for advice. That can also lead to some ulterior motives, especially if whatever you're trying to decide will also affect the person giving the advice.

-- Along the same lines, there's a certain ... distance ... here that doesn't always exist in real life. Although I don't think I'm a major player in any of the "life advice" threads, I can certainly envision situations where someone might be willing to ask questions from people online that they'd never ask people "IRL" because they don't want to reveal (for whatever reason) the topic to those around them.

[panerd]

Originally Posted by MrBug708

It gives you different perspectives, doesnt mean you'll a few if any advice....

I agree to a certain extent, but like I said in my first post there are some topics that this would be useful for and there are some topics are aren't even appropriate for other people to know about much less post about.

i.e.

OT: Arrested for abusing my wife

Hey guys need some legal advice on a loophole that will help my beat this first degree assault charge. The bitch was really asking for it. Any help appreciated! (I will be sure to make a special note of guys who reply of whom I have never even heard of chiming in on any other subject on this board. And after I get off the computer I will go down to the local grocery store and stand in the produce section and get advice from strangers there also)

[Z²+]

Sometimes it's healthy just to hear a fresh, new voice. Back in the day, I've gotten advice and help here on philosophy papers, buying a graphics card, what to do with a cheating girlfriend, and everything in between. Sometimes you just want to vent, and this is a harmless place to do it, where you aren't forcing someone to listen to you and risk annoying them. Sometimes you just want somebody to reaffirm what you are already thinking, and sometimes you just need to hear something new to break a mental stalemate.

And quid pro quo seems to be the norm. I ask for advice one day, offer to give some the next. As impersonal as this kind of environment might seem, there's a level of trust and respect here that is hard to find even in many real life networks.

Of course, it's Saturday night, and I'm alone with a Dr. Pepper talking on the forum. Take my advice with a granule of tungston.

[sabotai]

panerd, if anyone here posted something like that, we'd need to call in Horned Frog and all of his friends to put out the flames that would come from that.

[panerd]

Originally Posted by sabotai

panerd, if anyone here posted something like that, we'd need to call in Horned Frog and all of his friends to put out the flames that would come from that.

Well I was just being outragous, because I didn't really want to call anyone out. (And calling someone out was definitely not the purpose of this thread) But there are some topics within the last 2 days that would fall under "Way too much information posted than needs to be on print on the internet".

[kingnebwsu]

(Shrug) if nothing else, it's good for the person posting the problem/question to just talk (aka type). This would help them organize their thoughts and maybe get some new/renewed perspectives. (Shrug)

[Vinatieri for Prez]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Just thinking out loud here, but FWIW ...

-- Sometimes "know you better" isn't always the best perspective for advice. That can also lead to some ulterior motives, especially if whatever you're trying to decide will also affect the person giving the advice.

-- Along the same lines, there's a certain ... distance ... here that doesn't always exist in real life. Although I don't think I'm a major player in any of the "life advice" threads, I can certainly envision situations where someone might be willing to ask questions from people online that they'd never ask people "IRL" because they don't want to reveal (for whatever reason) the topic to those around them.

There's your answer. Same reason people talk to bartenders.

[Fritz]

lets test this puppy out...

http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/for...ad.php?t=22295

[Bubba Wheels]

Divorce has become entertainment for the masses on TV. And people become more and more disconnected and isolated in day to day life. How many here have a routine of car, cubicle, car, home, day after day? So its sad, but probably not surprising to see someone discussing divorce at all, let alone asking for advice on it.

[tucker342]

we should set up a special counseling forum!