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03-02-2004, 09:10 PM
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Lethargic Hooligan
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing
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The MAN eaten by his own pet Wig
Wig kills the MAN
From ALLAN HALL in WigNation THE MAN who lived in his own “zoo” of misanthrops was fatally bitten by Wig — then eaten by the other Wigciples. Police broke in to THE MAN's apartment to find Wignasty along with 200 others of the WigNation had gorged on his body. Neighbours alerted police after becoming alarmed by the stink - several weeks before the uprising. And horrified officers were met by a nightmare scene. A police spokesman said: “It was like a horror movie. THE MAN's corpse was over the sofa with a Schlitz Ice still in his hand. “Giant strands of dot candy draped him, and Wig was all over him. His fingers jammed in THE MANS nose and his mouth. “There was everything there one could imagine in the world of Wigs. “Larger pieces of flesh torn off by the Wigs were scooped up and taken back to the throngs of Wigciples and other members of the WigNation.” Hungry like a woman with child... WigNeedy ate at the body. THE MAN, 30, never invited people back to his home, a small duplex in the heart of WigNation. Police described it as a cross between a garden apartment and plush condo. One Wigciple had built a fort from an old plasma TV box. Wig expert officer Gabi Bayer said he kept creatures “that should never be allowed”. She said: “He had Wigs so aggressive they are the equivalent of a serial spammer with a wearhouse full of viagra to move.” The Wigs were allowed to roam free in the flat. The rotary units on the mini microwave used to make that popcorn that fed the wigs exploded and dislodged the metal tops allowing them to escape. THE MAN is thought to have been dead for between seven and 14 days. A post-mortem will be carried out in the next few days. But authorities believe Wig alone was responsible for THE MAN’s death.
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donkey, donkey, walk a little faster |
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03-02-2004, 09:16 PM
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Seattle
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Should Ted Koppel be worried?
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03-03-2004, 05:44 AM
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Lethargic Hooligan
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing
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EATEN!
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donkey, donkey, walk a little faster |
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03-03-2004, 07:33 AM
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#4 |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Maryland
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SCHLITZ ICE!!!
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03-03-2004, 08:03 AM
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#5 |
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The boy who cried Trout
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: TX
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I like dot candy.
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03-03-2004, 02:41 PM
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#6 |
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Pro Rookie
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Chicago, Ill
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After four years, I consider this my baptism into FOFC.
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Our Deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? |
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03-03-2004, 03:22 PM
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#7 |
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assmaster
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Bloomington, IN
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Beautiful, Fritz. Wig should be proud.
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03-03-2004, 03:50 PM
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#8 |
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Banned
Join Date: Jan 2004
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It really happened like that
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