Now THIS Is a Legal Defense!

[Ksyrup]

Woman uses sex act as manslaughter defense MIDDLETOWN, Connecticut (AP) --A woman charged with causing a fatal car crash in 1999 says that she couldn't have been behind the wheel because she was performing a sex act on the driver at the time. Heather Specyalski, 33, was charged with second-degree manslaughter in the crash that killed businessman Neil Esposito. Prosecutors allege that she was driving Esposito's Mercedes-Benz convertible when it veered off the road and hit several trees.

[Ksyrup]

I just cut and paste. I don't know how I do this in the box, out of the box crap.

[John Galt]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

I just cut and paste. I don't know how I do this in the box, out of the box crap.

I'm never reading a Ksyrup thread again until you get back in the box.

[rkmsuf]

How did they determine she was driving in the first place?

Anyway, at least he went out on a high note...

[Ksyrup]

I guess it's too late to send Gil Grissom to swab his willy for her DNA...

[Fritz]

[Hammer755]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

His pants could have been down because he wasn't feeling well.

I can't tell you how often I'm driving home from work when I start not feeling well. Inevitibaly, my first thought is always, 'Well, the pants have to go.'

[John Galt]

Whoa - this thread is trippy.

I don't even know if this box will allow me to post.

edit - hey, my post eliminated the weird spillover from Hammer's.

[corbes]

then there's these witch doctors who can post outside the box on command... I say we weigh them. If they weigh the same as a duck....BURN THEM!

[Huckleberry]

Assistant State's Attorney Maureen Platt said the defense is flawed.

"His pants could have been down because he was mooning a car he was drag racing," Platt said. "His pants could have been down because he was urinating out of a window. His pants could have been down because he wasn't feeling well."

That is pathetic for a prosecutor to say. Of course there are multiple explanations. But if her explanation is possible and presents a reasonable doubt regarding her culpability, then it's a valid defense.

[Ksyrup]

"His pants could have been down because he was urinating out of a window..."


If that's the case, then I'd say it was justifiable homicide. Just think of the splashback effect.

[JAG]

Yet another case where oral sex causes death.

[Maple Leafs]

[vex]

test

[sabotai]

"A defendant has a right to offer a defense no matter how outlandish, silly or unbelievable one might think it will be,"

Can I see a show of hands of the people who have NOT had oral sex performed on them while driving?

*does not raise hand*

His pants could have been down because he wasn't feeling well."

Now that's a new one. I feel this is going to become an FOFC regular. SkyDog might as well just link to this thread in the Community Jokes part of the reference thread right now.

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by sabotai

Can I see a show of hands of the people who have NOT had oral sex performed on them while driving?

*does not raise hand*

My hand stays down, thank you very much.

What I would like to see, though, is a show of hands of people who have urinated out of the window while they were driving. Unless your name is Dirk Diggler I wouldn't think that would be feasible...

[Desnudo]

Originally Posted by JeeberD

My hand stays down, thank you very much.

What I would like to see, though, is a show of hands of people who have urinated out of the window while they were driving. Unless your name is Dirk Diggler I wouldn't think that would be feasible...

My mother always taught me not to stick things out of a moving vehicle.

[Ksyrup]

On our honeymoon, the wife and I were driving from LA to Santa Barbara, and I noticed this car weaving in and out of traffic, speeding up, slowing down, behind us. Finally, the came up beside us, and the chick was sitting in the guy's lap while he was driving, completely naked and going to town on him.

So there we were on our honeymoon, watching some couple having sex while driving. Kind of made me ashamed to be a newlywed.

[Groundhog]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

His pants could have been down because he wasn't feeling well."

That's easily the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

[judicial clerk]

Maybe the guy just TOLD her he wasn't feeling well as an excuse to take his pants off. Then he tells her, "you know what would make me feel a lot better?"

Or maybe she made him drive into the trees because he lied to her about something related to what they were doing. You know that, one lie ..

[tucker342]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

"His pants could have been down because he was mooning a car he was drag racing," Platt said. "His pants could have been down because he was urinating out of a window. His pants could have been down because he wasn't feeling well."

WTF. I know I always pull my pants down when I'm not feeling well....

[k0ruptr]

this thread is absolutely hilarious!

[sabotai]

All that money I've spent on doctors visits, perscriptions, CT scan...and all I had to do to make myself feel better was take off my pants.

[Ksyrup]

OK, I think I have the defense's closing statement right here:



"The issue here is not whether she broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with a male driver; she did.

But you can't hold a driver responsible for the behavior of a sick, perverted individual for an act of fellatio. For if you do, then shouldn't we also blame our former US president, and the whole executive branch of our US governmental system?

I put it to you...Isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do what you want to her, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you bad-mouth the United States of America! Ms. Specyalski!"

(leave the room humming "The Star-Spangled Banner")

[judicial clerk]

*cough*blowjob*cough*

[rkmsuf]

What? Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

[timmae]

don't stop him, he's on a roll...

[BigJohn&TheLions]

Originally Posted by Hammer755

I can't tell you how often I'm driving home from work when I start not feeling well. Inevitibaly, my first thought is always, 'Well, the pants have to go.'

Can't tell you how many times I have had the same thought on the subway...

[Ksyrup]

And the postscript....





Connecticut Woman Using Sex Defense Acquitted
Thursday, April 29, 2004



MIDDLETOWN, Conn. — A woman charged with manslaughter in the 1999 highway death of her boyfriend was acquitted Thursday. Her attorney had argued that she couldn't have been behind the wheel because she had been performing a sex act on the driver at the time.

The jury deliberated about 50 minutes before finding Heather Specyalski (search), 33, not guilty. She had been charged with driving Neil Esposito's Mercedes-Benz convertible (search) when it veered off the road and hit several trees, killing him.

The defense said Esposito, a Connecticut businessman, had been driving, and that Specyalski was performing oral sex on him at the time. Paramedics (search) testified his pants were down at the crash scene.

"It's finally over," Specyalski told the Hartford Courant. "There is a weight lifted off my shoulders. I have my whole life in front of me and I just want to get back to being a mom."

The sex act defense rarely surfaced during the trial, but took on a prominent role during Wednesday's closing arguments.

Prosecutor Maureen Platt tried to persuade the jury not to believe the defense; Specyalski's lawyer, Jeremiah Donovan, said the possibility shed doubt on the prosecution's case.

Specyalski would have faced up to 25 years if convicted on charges of second-degree manslaughter, second-degree manslaughter with a motor vehicle and misconduct with a motor vehicle.

State police initially concluded Esposito, 44, was driving at up to 120 mph when his leased Mercedes went out of control Oct. 30, 1999, and crashed. They closed the case.

But Jo McKenzie, Gov. John G. Rowland's longtime aide and political confidant, testified she contacted then-Public Safety Commissioner Henry C. Lee about reopening the case after a member of the Esposito family called her for help. Esposito, who operated a large trash and recycling firm with his father, had supported Rowland's election campaigns.

After Esposito's father, Raymond Esposito, wrote a letter to Lee citing inconsistencies in the first investigation, Specyalski was identified as the driver and arrested in November 2000.

"There are only two people who can tell us if this happened," Donovan said during closing arguments. "Heather can't remember and Neil can't tell us."

[judicial clerk]

I smell a Law and Order episode.

*dong dong!*

Isn't it true ,miss rugburn, that you testified earlier that your mouth was full at the time of the accident? But you heard the driver of the car in front of you testify that he heard you scream when the car swerved off the road? How could you possibly scream if your mouth was full?

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by judicial clerk

I smell a Law and Order episode.

*dong dong!*

Man...and a double stuffer to boot!

[sabotai]

I wasn't feeling well today. I wish I had remembered this thread. If I did, I would have taken off my pants and felt much better.

[tucker342]

Next time I'm not feeling well in school, my pants are comming off!

[SackAttack]

Assistant State's Attorney Maureen Platt said the defense is flawed.

"His pants could have been down because he was mooning a car he was drag racing," Platt said. "His pants could have been down because he was urinating out of a window. His pants could have been down because he wasn't feeling well."

Except that for the first two to be true, he'd also have to be driving, which still leaves her innocent. Think before you speak, Platt.