Iowa Barnstormers 2003: Thunder in the Sky

[Grid Iron]

Dynasty Overview

The purpose of the Iowa City Barnstormers Dynasty is to tell a compelling and intriguing story using EA Sports Front Office Football (FOF2) as the backdrop. The stats are real, the story is not.

This will be my second FOF dynasty, in which readers will follow the life of Jack “Grid” Iron, GM of the NFL’s newest team, the Iowa City Barnstormers. Some of you may recognize Grid Iron as the hero of my Nebraska Blizzards Dynasty. This story, however, is not a sequel.

Rather, the Iowa Barnstormers Dynasty explores the life of Grid Iron in an entirely different timeline, or alternate universe. The “Many Worlds Theory” of quantum physics originated from the writings of Dr. Hugh Everett, III, in 1957. Under this theory, to which the great Stephen Hawking subscribes, the world around us is constantly splitting into an infinite number of new, alternate universes. In our universe, for example, Hitler and the Nazis were defeated in World War II. Under the Many Worlds Theory, however, there is an entirely different parallel universe, completely unobservable to us, in which Hitler and the Axis powers were victorious.

The Many Worlds Theory plays absolutely no role in the plot of this dynasty. Nonetheless, I want to mention it as the reason for the use of Grid Iron in this story. Here, AgroGlobal never existed because its founder, Anthony Coriolanus, was killed in Gulf War I. Further, in this universe the evil Jamir Al Sabah never rose to power, or created the deadly Allah virus, because he was never born. Grid Iron, however, is still the best GM in the game. . .

To catch up on the details so far, go to the following link:

Iowa Barnstormers Prologue

House Rules (Updated 3/12/04!)

I employ a fairly rigorous set of "house rules" (no real NFL players, no franchise tag, must maintain a 53-man roster, no renegotiating, can't make trade proposals except during the draft, trades must pass "fairness test", auto-sign rookies). During the 20-step free agent period, I may negotiate with any player who was on my team the previous season without restriction. As for free agents who did not play on my team the previous season, I may sign up to three of them during the 20-step process, but only one in the first 10 rounds. After the 20-step free agency period, I can only sign undrafted rookie free agents and players who were on my roster the previous season. All contracts signed outside of the 20-step process must be for exactly what the player asks, or for one year. Last, all multi-year deals must include a signing bonus equal to the highest year of the contract, unless I accept the player’s initial offer.

[Grid Iron]

New Team, New Stadium

Iowans celebrate opening of John Deere Field

January 10, 2003

Iowa City, IA (AP) – To a throng of cheers, Barnstormers owner Ben Cleveland cut the ribbon across the main entrance to John Deere Field today, marking the completion of the 66,700 seat stadium that dominates the downtown Iowa City skyline. “My goal five years ago was to bring an NFL football team to my home town,” Cleveland said of his successful campaign to bring the league's latest expansion franchise to Iowa City. “Now, my goal is to bring an NFL championship here, too!”

Boasting 9,500 club seats and 140 luxury boxes, the Barnstormers’ home is one of the finest in the NFL. Covered with beautiful natural grass, the field promises to be a place Iowa’s opponents will dread in December when the average high is 34º F and the average low is 18ºF. Ticket prices are particularly modest, set well below the average of the team’s two closest rivals, the Chicago Bears and St. Louis Rams. Almost half of the seats in the park are $38 or less.

“Making football affordable was a prerequisite for bringing a team here,” Cleveland said in an interview last week. “Although we have 2.9% annual growth and the second-lowest poverty rate among NFL cities (10.2%), we only have a population of just 100,000 people,” Cleveland explained. “By keeping the prices down, more people can come out to the park to support the team.”

[Kodos]

It's nice to see some new contenders coming out for the 2005 Golden Scribes football categories. Looking forward to following your newest venture.

[Grid Iron]

Originally Posted by Kodos

It's nice to see some new contenders coming out for the 2005 Golden Scribes football categories. Looking forward to following your newest venture.

Thanks! I've been thinking about this new story for a long time and finally decided to go for it.

Hope you like it!

[Grid Iron]

Barnstormers Announce New GM

January 12, 2003

Iowa City, IA (Ticker) – At a press conference today, Barnstormers owner Ben Cleveland introduced Jack “Grid” Iron as the team’s new General Manager. “Grid is the consummate professional and the best in the game,” Cleveland said of the former Chargers GM, who was the architect of San Diego’s 2002 Super Bowl Championship. “I expect very big things from him and this franchise.”

“I’m absolutely ecstatic,” Iron said to the room of reporters. “My time in San Diego was great, but its going to be a real treat, and challenge, building a team from the ground up.” When asked why he left San Diego following an NFL Championship, Iron cited his long-time friendship with the team's owner. “Mr. Cleveland and my Dad have been best friends since they coached together at Michigan. I think our families spent almost every weekend together when I was growing up. He’s like family to me.”

Iron declined to discuss the financial terms of his contract, but did say he took a “deep discount” from market value in order to help the team get off the ground financially. “I’m not in it for the money, I do this because I love the game.”

Iron said he plans to complete the selection of his coaching staff within a week. “I’ve already got several people in mind.”

[Grid Iron]

Team Hires New Coach, Scout

Local hero and lineman guru step into spotlight

January 19, 2003

Iowa City, IA (Ticker) – Today, Barnstormers GM Grid Iron announced the hiring of the team’s new staff. “I think we got two of the best in the business,” said Iron of head coach Travis O’Donnell, and lead scout Wally Chapman. “I think fans can expect to see this team have success quite soon with these two guys.”

Travis O’Donnell, who signed a $2.23 million per year contract, is a hero in Iowa, having coached the Hawkeyes to a Big Ten Championship and a 21-17 Rose Bowl victory over UCLA in 2002. Known for employing a ball-control offense and being one of the best at motivating his players, the 50-year-old O’Donnell finished his six-year career as Iowa’s head coach with a 56-20 record and leading the team to four bowl games in his final four years. “This is just a natural progression,” the Des Moines native said of his move from college to pro football.

Wally Chapman is also entering his rookie year in the NFL, having been the Director of Player Development at Purdue for the last 10 years. “Wally is one of the best talent evaluators in the game,” Iron said of his $120,000 per year lead scout. “I believe you win the game at the line of scrimmage, and Wally’s strength is in finding great offensive and defensive linemen.” “I’m glad to be here, and I’m up to the challenge,” said the 40-year-old Chapman. “I can’t wait to get started.”

[Grid Iron]

Shuttle Columbia Breaks up in Mid-Air

February 1, 2003

Johnson Space Center, Texas (Reuters) - The space shuttle Columbia broke apart on Saturday as it reentered the Earth's atmosphere high over Texas, killing all seven astronauts and plunging the nation into a sense of grief not felt since the Sept. 11 tragedy.

The disaster, almost 17 years to day that seven astronauts were killed in the Challenger explosion, placed the space shuttle program on hold as investigators began searching a debris field stretching hundreds of miles across heavily wooded areas of Texas and adjoining states.

Those killed were the commander of the 16-day mission, Rick Husband, and a team of dedicated professionals that included an Indian-born U.S. woman scientist and the first Israeli in space, Ilan Ramon, the son of Holocaust survivors who had been the lead pilot in the 1981 bombing raid that destroyed a nuclear reactor being built in Iraq.

With the United States jumpy about the countdown to possible war with Iraq and the Israeli astronaut included in the shuttle crew, officials were quick to rule out terrorism. "At this time we have no indication that the mishap was caused by anything or anyone on the ground," NASA administrator Sean O'Keefe said.

Dramatic television images of the shuttle's descent showed several white trails, seemingly tinged with fire, streaking through crystal clear blue skies after the shuttle suddenly fell apart just 16 minutes from home.
The disaster 40 miles above the Earth sent thunderous shock waves rolling across eastern Texas.

A grim-faced President Bush led the nation in mourning. "The Columbia is lost. There are no survivors," he said in a message broadcast on television. "The crew of the shuttle Columbia did not return safely to Earth but we can pray that they are safely home," the president said.

[Grid Iron]

To: [email protected]
Date: February 1, 2003
Subject: Shuttle Columbia Op
From: [email protected]

Mission accomplished.

[Grid Iron]

Barnstormers Take Flight!

Team adds 25 players in expansion draft

February 4, 2003

New York, NY (AP) – Iowa GM Grid Iron was ecstatic after adding 25 players to the team’s roster in the 2003 NFL Expansion Draft. “We filled a lot of needs, but we got a real gem with our first pick,” said Iron.

That first pick was WR Allen Baxter, who was selected from the Philadelphia Eagles. Head coach Travis O’Donnell has already pegged him to be the team’s go-to man. “He’s got great hands and gets a lot of yards after the catch,” O’Donnell said of the 5’9” 195-pound receiver, who was Philadelphia’s third-round draft pick in 2001 out of Pittsburgh. Last season, Baxter played 16 games and started 10 in place of injured WR Charles Johnson, leading the Eagles with 58 catches and 678 yards. He also scored four touchdowns.

[Grid Iron]

Barnstormers Sign First Free Agent

Pittsburgh defensive tackle signs $480K deal

March 7, 2003

Iowa City, IA (Reuters) – Despite being $80.25 million under the NFL’s $90 million salary cap, the Barnstormers’ first free agent acquisition in franchise history was a modest one, as GM Grid Iron signed Pittsburgh DT Riddick Malone to a one-year contract for the league minimum $480,000.

The 6’2” 293-pound Malone was drafted by the Steelers in the second round of the 2002 draft out of Washington State. In two games last year, he recorded two assists. “He’s big, quick and plays the run very well,” said Iron at the news conference announcing the signing. “We’re fully expecting him to start this year.”

[MrBug708]

I'd love to get my hands on FOF2 with my old license....That game was awesome. Loved drafting Stud QB's late in the first round and trading them the next year for a Top 5 pick....

[Grid Iron]

Roman Empire!

Iowa City drafts Temple QB with first overall pick

April 26, 2003

New York, NY (AP) – With the first overall pick in the 2003 NFL draft, Iowa GM Grid Iron selected 6’3” 208-pound Temple quarterback Roman Roberts. A Heisman finalist and All-American, Roberts finished his senior season with 3,250 yards passing, 490 yards rushing, 31 touchdowns (21 pass, 10 rush) and 6 interceptions in leading Temple to an 11-2 record and a 30-24 Citrus Bowl victory over Ohio State.

“He’s got all the tools,” said Grid Iron after announcing the rookie’s six-year $31.57 million contract, that includes an $18.24 million signing bonus. “He is, hands down, a franchise quarterback. He has the potential to be a future Hall of Famer.”

“I’m really looking forward to minicamp and getting started the season,” said Roberts, who signed a five-year $15 million contract with Nike before the draft. “My goal, plain and simple, is to bring an NFL Championship to Iowa."

[Grid Iron]

Originally Posted by MrBug708

I'd love to get my hands on FOF2 with my old license....That game was awesome. Loved drafting Stud QB's late in the first round and trading them the next year for a Top 5 pick....

Maybe my website FOF2Forever can help! It has a link for the FOF2 program, as well as instructions on getting your old eLicense if you lost it.

[Grid Iron]

To: [email protected]
Date: May 3, 2003
Subject: Opportunity & Spirit
From: [email protected]

The two Mars Rovers are scheduled to launch in just over one month.

You know what to do.

[Grid Iron]

Barnstormers Show Off New Threads

May 20, 2003

Iowa City, IA (Ticker) – Team owner Ben Cleveland showcased the Barnstormers’ new uniforms on today at a noontime press conference. “We are ecstatic about our new unis and we think the fans will be also,” said Cleveland. The helmets will be bright gold, with no logo, to symbolize the “pure golden harvests of this great state,” head coach Travis O’Donnell explained. The team’s has two jerseys, a navy blue home jersey and a white road jersey with gold stripes on the side. “They look really, really sharp.”

[Grid Iron]

Mars Rover Rockets into Space

”Spirit” begins seven-month trip to Red Planet

June 10, 2003

Cape Canaveral, Fla. (AP) - A Boeing Delta 2 rocket has successfully sped NASA's Mars rover Spirit out of Earth orbit to begin a seven-month journey to the Red Planet.

Even with this victory behind them, Mars mission managers know they still have a long way to go. Only 12 of humanity's 30 attempts so far to unlock Mars' secrets using robot probes have succeeded.

"In Mars exploration we have learned to celebrate success one step at a time," said Orlando Figueroa, NASA's Mars exploration program director. "We know there is much work ahead of us."

Less than an hour later, mission controllers received the first signal from the spacecraft as it sped outward from Earth to Mars.

Mission members said they were relieved to watch Spirit leave Earth, but cautioned the most difficult portion of the mission was yet to come.

We can't get too excited about launch. A Mars mission is all about landing. But we'll take our successes as they come,'' said Firouz Naderi, manager of JPL's Mars exploration program.

Spirit is due to arrive at Mars on Jan. 24, 2004. Its twin rover spacecraft, now called Opportunity, is to be launched June 25 and arrive at the Red Planet on Jan. 25, bouncing onto the sandy surface with the help of parachutes, retro rockets and inflated balloons.

As now planned, Spirit is targeted to land at Gusev Crater, 15 degrees south of Mars' equator. Opportunity is to touch down at Meridiani Planum, about two degrees south of the equator and halfway around the planet from Gusev.

[Grid Iron]

Opportunity Finally Lifts Off

Second Mars Rover beats deadline, avoids mission scrub

July 8, 2003

Cape Canaveral, Fla. (AP) - Technology finally cooperated late Monday, allowing NASA at long last to send the Mars Rover Opportunity on its way to the Red Planet.

Riding atop the first-ever Delta 2 Heavy rocket, Opportunity was sent safely speeding on a path that would have it escape Earth's gravity and travel seven months to reach the Martian surface.

Opportunity is joining its twin, the Mars Rover Spirit launched June 10, on an $800 million mission to learn more about when water might have flowed on Mars. Both probes are targeted to land in January.

Only three of humanity's nine landing attempts at the Red Planet have succeeded, said Ed Weiler, NASA's space science chief in Washington, D.C.

"If we beat the odds and our missions arrive safely, I think it's safe to bet that we'll see the biggest scientific return from another planet that we've ever seen," Weiler said. "And we'll see the most fantastic Martian landscapes we think you can imagine."

First planned for launch June 25, a variety of problems conspired to keep the Boeing Delta 2 Heavy rocket on the ground until July 7.

Most of the delay was caused by concerns with two bands of cork that wrap around the Delta 2 rocket's first stage. The cork protects some particularly sensitive points of the first stage's skin from high temperature during the climb through the atmosphere.

Unfortunately routine inspections revealed the cork was not sticking properly and repairs were ordered on more than one occasion when the problem repeated itself.

Then just as the cork problem was solved, engineers discovered a battery in the system that is used to destroy the vehicle in flight if necessary had to be replaced, delaying launch another 24 hours.

All this time mission managers and scientists were keeping an eye on the calendar. Opportunity had to get off the ground by about July 15 or face either a four-year wait for the next launch window or immediate banishment to a museum.

[Grid Iron]

To: [email protected]
Date: July 8, 2003
Subject: Opportunity & Spirit
From: [email protected]

You better have a back-up plan.

[Grid Iron]

To: [email protected]
Date: July 9, 2003
Subject: Opportunity & Spirit
From: [email protected]

What do think, I'm some kinda amateur?

I almost got the Opportunity mission completely scrubbed.

Don't worry, I was able to modify their telemetry software. They'll both miss their landing sites by at least 500 miles. Assuming they even make it to the surface. . .

[Grid Iron]

2003 Season Preview

Inaugural season puts rookies in limelight

August 15, 2003

Iowa City, IA (ESPN) – Despite finishing the exhibition season 1-3 and selling only 39,500 season tickets, the Barnstormers have plenty to look forward to, according to team GM Grid Iron. “I think the fans are going to be surprised,” Iron said at practice this week. “So many young, eager faces playing for the love of the game—that’s hard to find these days.”

The starting lineup is filled with unproven, yet promising rookies. As expected, Roman Roberts (Temple), the number one overall pick in the 2003 draft, will start at quarterback. Second-round pick Freddie Morris (E. Michigan) will start at tight end. Fourth-round selection Friendship Lofton (Florida State) won the starting running back job over third-round pick Bobby Roby (Duke), but both are likely to see plenty of playing time. Fifth-round pick Heath Fuller (Virginia) will start at cornerback. Cornerback Gerald Player (Stanford), the team's sixth-round selection, was slated to start opposite Fuller but broke his fibula in the final preseason game. He will miss 2-3 months.

Perhaps the most important rookie on Sunday will be coach Travis O’Donnell. The Hawkeye legend will employ his own style of smash mouth football. “We’re going to run, run, and run some more,” said O’Donnell. “Then, when they least expect it—Bam! We’ll throw it deep.” On the other side of the ball, coach O’Donnell said the team will employ a base 4-3 defense with mostly bump and run coverage. "I want my boys to be physical out there."

If the Barnstormers have one thing going for them this season, it’s strength of schedule. Only two of the team’s opponents this year had winning records in 2002, Denver and San Diego, and none of them made major free agent acquisitions in the off season. “The AFC West is always a tough division,” said Grid Iron. “But these guys here are gonna play their hearts out.” The team’s toughest challenge begins in Week 4, when the team kicks off a five-game road trip. “If we can survive that, we can survive anything,” said O’Donnell.

Here is the complete Barnstormers schedule:

Week 1 MIAMI DOLPHINS
Week 2 Baltimore Ravens
Week 3 SEATTLE SEAHAWKS
Week 4 Oakland Raiders
Week 5 St. Louis Rams
Week 6 Kansas City Chiefs
Week 7 Denver Broncos
Week 8 Seattle Seahawks
Week 9 OPEN
Week 10 OAKLAND RAIDERS
Week 11 ATLANTA FALCONS
Week 12 SAN DIEGO CHARGERS
Week 13 DENVER BRONCOS
Week 14 San Diego Chargers
Week 15 NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
Week 16 Cleveland Browns
Week 17 KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

[Grid Iron]

To: [email protected]
Date: August 18, 2003
Subject: System Glitch?
From: [email protected]

Mr. Director,

I've was bored last night, so I did a deep scan of the delivery vehicle telemetry software for both Opportunity and Spirit.

It's really weird, but I found a glitch that doesn't appear to be in the source code . . .

[Grid Iron]

NFL Weeks 1-4

Week 1: Barnstormers (0-0) vs. Dolphins (0-0) (-8)

Miami RB Tim Biakabutuka ran for 100 yards and a score, and Iowa had three turnovers (1 interception, 2 fumbles), as the Dolphins defeated the Barnstormers 24-13. Iowa QB Roman Roberts, the first overall pick in the 2003 draft, was 16 of 29 for 257, 1 TD, 1 INT and lost a fumble.

Week 2: Barnstormers (0-1) at Ravens (0-1) (-14)

The Iowa defense had two interceptions for the second game in a row but gave up a total of 403 yards to the Baltimore offense as the Ravens cruised to a 20-6 victory.

Week 3: Barnstormers (0-2) vs. Seahawks (1-1) (-4)

Iowa was held to just 151 yards of total offense, the team’s only touchdown coming off a 41-yard interception return by CB Jared Copeland, as the Barnstormers fell to the Seahawks 24-10.

Week 4: Barnstormers (0-3) at Raiders (1-2) (-11)

Down 10-6, WR Shannon Neil caught a a 78-yard touchdown pass from QB Roman Roberts with 9:30 left in the game to give the Barnstormers the lead, as Iowa stunned the Oakland Raiders with a 13-10 victory. Roberts finished the day completing 13 for 19 for 219 yards, 1 TD and 0 INT.

1/4 Season Review

Despite the team’s disappointing, but not surprising start, the Barnstormers ended the first four weeks of the season on a high note, beating the Oakland Raiders in a 13-10 comeback victory.

Here are the current AFC West standings:

AFC West              W   L   T   Pct   PF    PA    Div     Conf  
Denver                3   1   0   .750  128   61    1-1-0   2-1-0     
Seattle               2   2   0   .500  92    83    2-1-0   2-2-0     
San Diego             2   2   0   .500  93    83    1-1-0   1-1-0     
Kansas City           1   2   0   .333  64    96    1-1-0   1-1-0     
Iowa City             1   3   0   .250  42    78    1-1-0   1-3-0     
Oakland               1   3   0   .250  71    80    0-1-0   0-2-0

[Grid Iron]

To: [email protected]
Date: September 10, 2003
Subject: System Glitch
From: [email protected]

Mr. Director,

OK, I think I know why the telemetry software is screwed up.

Since I can't find the glitch in the source code, I think the software on board the rovers was accidentally corrupted during takeoff.

Of course, it's quite a coincidence that both rovers would have the same glitch. Maybe there is a flaw in our launch procedures.

I'm going to keep looking into this and keep you posted.

[Grid Iron]

NFL Weeks 5-8

Week 5: Barnstormers (1-3) at Rams (3-1) (-11)

Iowa blew a 14-0 halftime lead, but tied the game at 21-21 on an 18-yard touchdown catch by WR Vince Campana from backup QB Leo Hiatt with 1:23 left in the game. Unfortunately, a 23-yard punt in overtime by Hardy Micalles from the Iowa 28 gave St. Louis great field position and K Jeff Wilkins nailed the game winner from 39 yards away, as the Rams edged the Barnstormers 24-21.

Before leaving early in the third with an injury, Iowa’s starting QB Roman Roberts was an incredible 11 for 12 for 136, 1 TD, 0 INT. He is expected to start next week.

Week 6: Barnstormers (1-4) at Chiefs (1-3) (-6)

Iowa pulled to within three points at 17-14 with just over two minutes to play but couldn’t recover the ensuing onside kick, as the Barnstormers fell to the Chiefs 20-14.

Week 7: Barnstormers (1-5) at Broncos (5-1) (-12)

Denver out-gained Iowa 516 yards to 80 and converted on 15 of 21 times (71%) on third down, as the Broncos destroyed the Barnstormers by a score of 42-10. Iowa’s lone touchdown came off an interception by CB Ricky Walters, which he returned 99 yards for the score.

Week 8: Barnstormers (1-6) at Seahawks (3-4) (-8)

The Barnstormers defense was ripped for 471 yards as Iowa ended its five-game road trip with a 34-0 loss to Seattle.

2/4 Season Review

At 1-7, the Barnstormers have the worst record in the league. Here are the complete AFC West standings:

AFC West              W   L   T   Pct   PF    PA    Div     Conf  
Denver                  6   2   0   .750  249   136   4-1-0   5-2-0     
San Diego               4   3   0   .571  164   129   2-2-0   3-2-0     
Seattle                 4   4   0   .500  207   148   4-2-0   4-4-0     
Kansas City             2   5   0   .286  125   209   2-2-0   2-3-0     
Oakland                 2   5   0   .286  107   158   1-3-0   1-4-0     
Iowa City               1   7   0   .125  87    198   1-4-0   1-6-0  

[Grid Iron]

To: [email protected]
Date: October 10, 2003
Subject: System Glitch
From: [email protected]

Mr. Director,

I ran several tests and concluded that it was highly improbable that the telemetry software was corrupted during takeoff.

So, I did a deep scan of our system logs and found several of them were deleted in late May and early June. Most of the data was wiped, but I did recover a few fragments. From what was left, I found that someone uploaded altered telemetry software to both rovers on June 1, 2003.

In short, we've been sabotaged.

[Grid Iron]

NFL Weeks 9-13

Week 9: Bye

Week 10: Barnstormers (1-7) (E) vs. Raiders (2-6)

Third-round pick RB Bobby Roby, playing for an injured Friendship Lofton, ran 29 times for 114 yards to become the first 100-yard rusher in Iowa history, as the Barnstormers held on to beat the Raiders 20-17. C Antonio Posante was named player of the game after making 6 key run blocks in 12 opportunities. Lofton suffered a hip pointer on Iowa’s first possession and will miss 3-5 weeks.

Week 11: Barnstormers (2-7) vs. Falcons (7-2) (-9)

Atlanta RB Horace Wilkerson rushed for 249 yards and three touchdowns as the Falcons destroyed the Barnstormers 44-17.

Week 12: Barnstormers (2-8) vs. Chargers (5-5) (-3)

The Iowa defense had five sacks, two interceptions and a safety as the Barnstormers crushed the Chargers 32-7. CB Jared Copeland returned his second interception for a touchdown this season, taking it 73 yards for the score.

Week 13: Barnstormers (3-8) vs. Broncos (9-2) (-6)

The Iowa defense did its job, but QB Roman Roberts was just 17 of 37 for 197 yards 0 TD and 2 INT, as the Barnstormers lost to the Broncos, 14-6.

With the victory, Denver clinched the AFC West.

3/4 Season Review

Despite being 3-9, the Barnstormers have not yet been mathematically eliminated from the playoff hunt due to a particularly weak AFC. Here are the complete divisional standings:

AFC West                W   L   T   Pct   PF    PA    Div     Conf  
Denver                  10  2   0   .833  351   197   7-1-0   8-2-0     
Kansas City             5   7   0   .417  241   329   4-3-0   5-4-0     
Seattle                 5   7   0   .417  289   246   4-4-0   5-6-0     
San Diego               5   7   0   .417  261   254   3-4-0   4-5-0     
Iowa City               3   9   0   .250  162   280   3-5-0   3-7-0     
Oakland                 2   10  0   .167  193   275   1-5-0   1-8-0

[Grid Iron]

To: [email protected]
Date: November 10, 2003
Subject: Sabotage
From: [email protected]

Jason,

It appears the two Mars Rovers have been sabotaged. We're doing our best to find a fix for the damage that's been done, however, we need to find the person that did it.

Your agency's assistance, and utmost discretion, would be appreciated.

Please call me, and I'll give you the leads we've developed.

[Grid Iron]

NFL Weeks 14-17

Week 14: Barnstormers (3-9) at Chargers (5-9) (-5)

Iowa QB Roman Roberts was 8 of 19 for 76 yards, 0 TD and 3 INT as the Chargers crushed the Barnstormers 35-10.

Week 15: Barnstormers (3-10) vs. Saints (7-6) (-6)

Iowa took a 26-3 lead with just under 19 minutes to play after a 16-yard touchdown run by RB Bobby Roby, but the Saints scored 27 unanswered points, shocking the Barnstormers with an improbable 30-26 comeback victory.

Week 16: Barnstormers (3-11) at Browns (5-9) (-5)

Iowa RB Friendship Lofton scored on a four-yard run off right tackle with :34 on the clock to lift the Barnstormers to a 17-14 victory over the Browns.

Week 17: Barnstormers (4-11) vs. Chiefs (7-8) (-2)

The Iowa offense racked up 187 rushing yards on the day, while the defense allowed Kansas City to convert just twice in 14 chances on third down, as the Barnstormers ended the season with a 20-13 victory over the Chiefs.

4/4 Season Review

Despite posting a 5-11 record, the Barnstormers’ inaugural season was a success in many ways. Not only did the team finish ahead of the Oakland Raiders (3-13), but Iowa went 4-4 over their final eight games and finished with back-to-back victories. Here are the final AFC West standings:

AFC West                W   L   T   Pct   PF    PA    Div     Conf  
Denver                  13  3   0   .813  468   271   9-1-0   10-2-0    
San Diego               8   8   0   .500  380   334   5-5-0   6-6-0     
Seattle                 8   8   0   .500  411   329   5-5-0   6-7-0     
Kansas City             7   9   0   .438  350   418   5-5-0   7-6-0     
Iowa City               5   11  0   .313  235   372   4-6-0   5-8-0     
Oakland                 3   13  0   .188  275   400   2-8-0   2-11-0  

[Grid Iron]

NASA: Sabotaged Mars Rover Burns Up

“Spirit” lost on entry into Martian atmopshere

December 14, 2003


Johnson Space Center, Texas (AP) – NASA Director Alex Guerra announced today that Mars Rover “Spirit” burned up on entry into the planet’s atmosphere. “We have very credible evidence that Spirit’s failed landing was the result of sabotage,” he Guerra stated. “We are working diligently with the FBI to bring those responsible to justice.”

Guerra explained that in early June 2003, an unknown person altered the telemetry software on board Spirit. These modifications caused the $400 million spacecraft to enter the Red Planet’s thin atmosphere at an angle that caused it to burn up before getting to the surface. “All contact with Spirit was lost approximately five minutes after it began the landing sequence."

Guerra stated that NASA officials discovered several months ago that the telemetry software had been altered on Spirit and its twin rover Opportunity. Unfortunately, the agency was not able to fix the problem before Spirit approached the planet. “We’re very close, and we’re hopeful that we will have a solution before the other rover lands.” Opportunity is expected to arrive at Mars on December 31, 2003.

Officials at the FBI declined to comment on the pending investigation.

[Grid Iron]

To: [email protected]
Date: December 15, 2003
Subject: FBI Investigation
From: [email protected]

Sit tight until this blows over. Otherwise, you might drawn suspicion.

[fantastic flying froggies]

Rufus T. Firefly is the name of the dictator in the Marx bros movie, 'Ducksoup'. He declares war on a neighbor state to avoid bankrupcy of his own country.

Hmm, wonder if he's related in any way to your fellow saboteur...

[Grid Iron]

Broncos Win Super Bowl XXXVIII

Denver holds off late Tampa rally to clinch NFL Championship

December 27, 2003

	Buccaneers (12-7)	21
	Broncos (16-3)	28

Denver, CO (Ticker) – The Denver Broncos built a 28-0 lead through the first three quarters, and then held off a 21-0 fourth-quarter run by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, to clinch the team’s third NFL Championship. “This felt great,” said QB Fernando Sharber, who was named game MVP after completing 24 for 34 for 287 yards, 3 TD and 2 INT. “We worked so hard for this moment, I just can’t tell you how proud I am of these guys.”

[Grid Iron]

Trent Green Wins League MVP Award

St. Louis QB also named All-League First Team

December 28, 2003

St. Louis, MO (AP) – St. Louis quarterback Trent Green was named league MVP today. “I am very honored,” said Green, who threw 0 TD and 5 INT in a 33-3 wild card loss to New Orleans. Excluding his post-season disaster, Green was one of the best signal callers in the NFL. On the year, he ranked second with 3,910 passing yards, second with 27 touchdowns, and threw only nine interceptions.

[Grid Iron]

Originally Posted by fantastic flying froggies

Rufus T. Firefly is the name of the dictator in the Marx bros movie, 'Ducksoup'. He declares war on a neighbor state to avoid bankrupcy of his own country.

Hmm, wonder if he's related in any way to your fellow saboteur...

Shhh. . . Do you want me to get sued?!?!

[Grid Iron]

To: [email protected]
Date: December 30, 2003
Subject: Rover Sabotage Investigation, Case No. 03-124-3454
From: [email protected]

Sir,

We've identified and located the suspect. He is currently under 24-hour surveillance by two teams. The judge has signed the arrest warrant and the search warrant for his home.

Briefing is at 5:00 am tommorrow. The raid will begin at 7:30 am sharp.

[Grid Iron]

2003 Barnstormers Report Card

December 30, 2003

Here is a rundown of how the Barnstormers performed in 2003:

QUARTERBACKS: C-

Roman Roberts, the first overall selection in the 2003 draft, struggled making the jump from college to the pros, throwing for just 2,536 yards, 8 TD, 11 INT and a 72.8 passer rating. To his credit, the Barnstormers’ sad offensive line hampered his chance for success. Significant improvement will be expected from him next season.

RUNNING BACKS: C-

The rookie running back tandem of Friendship Lofton and Bobby Roby showed flashes of brilliance at times, while failing miserably at others. Combined, the two runners amassed a respectable 1,150 rushing yards and five touchdowns. However, their 3.46 rushing average ranked near the bottom of the league.

OFFENSIVE LINE: F

The offensive line, comprised of marginal NFL players, was simply awful, allowing 44 sacks on the season. The starting lineup posted a meager 26.6 blocking percentage.

RECEIVERS: B-

The Barnstormers’ young receivers developed quite nicely this season. Second-year wide receiver Neil Shannon caught 55 passes for a team-high 774 yards and four touchdowns, while third-year player Allen Baxter led the team with 67 catches and amassed 744 yards through the air. Rookie tight end Freddie Morris, the team’s second-round pick, had a very nice rookie campaign, catching 33 passes for 310 yards and two touchdowns. He also made four key run blocks in eight opportunities.

DEFENSIVE LINE: C

The defensive line struggled all season, the four starters having a total of seven years NFL experience between them. Rookie free agent DE Ricky Allen made the most of his opportunity, starting 16 games, leading the team with 9.0 sacks, recording 51 tackles (36 solo), recovering two fumbles, and making one interception.

LINEBACKERS: D

The linebackers couldn’t stop the run, resulting in the Barnstormers allowing 141.0 average rushing yards per game, which ranked second worst in the AFC and third worst in the league. Second-year linebacker Floyd Willow was the lone bright spot, accruing 144 tackles (109 solo) and recovering three fumbles.

SECONDARY: B-

The secondary played quite well, despite the loss of promising rookies Heath Fuller and Gerald Player to injury for much of the season. On the year, the squad recorded 17 interceptions, four of which were returned for touchdowns. Second-year defensive back Jared Copeland played in all 16 games, started six, and four interceptions (two of which he returned for touchdowns).

SPECIAL TEAMS: C-

Second-year kicker Phillip Horn had a very nice season, making 28 of his 33 field goal attempts. Punter Hardy Micalles was one of the worst in the league, posting a meager 37.1 average and dropping only 24 of 116 attempts (21%) inside the 20. The Barnstormers’ kick and punt returners were awful.

COACHING: B

Coach Travis O’Donnell had an excellent rookie season, considering what he had to work with. Despite finishing with a 5-11 record, the team won four of its final eight contests and finished the year with a two-game win streak. More importantly, the Barnstormers swept the season series against the Oakland Raiders.

[Grid Iron]

Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of the 2003 season, coming up tommorrow!

[Grid Iron]

To: [email protected]
Date: December 30, 2003
Subject: FBI Investigation
From: [email protected]

I think I've been made. I'm getting out of here. . .

[Grid Iron]

Transcript of FBI raid

December 31, 2003

7:30 a.m. EST

WHITE: Gordon White, FBI Supervising Special Agent (Operation Leader)
ENTRY: Matt Ziffel, FBI Special Agent (Entry Team Leader)
COVER: Linda Williams, FBI Special Agent (Cover Team Leader)
SPOTTER: Tim Simmons, FBI Special Agent (Roof Top Spotter)

* * * * * *

WHITE: Alright people, it’s go time. All units check in.

ENTRY: Entry Team is go.

COVER: Cover Team is go.

SPOTTER: I can see the suspect. He’s sitting in a chair watching TV in his living room.

WHITE : OK, Entry Team move into Position 1.

ENTRY : We’re on the move. . .

WHITE: Cover Team, move into position 2.

COVER: Roger that. Move out, people.

ENTRY: Entry Team in position, we’re at the door.

COVER: Cover Team in position.

SPOTTER: I still have visual on the suspect. No movement.

WHITE: Entry Team, you are a go.

ENTRY: Roger.

[Sound of Entry Team banging on door]

WHITE: Get ready, Cover Team.

[Sound of Entry Team leader in distance: “This is the FBI. We have a search warrant. Open the door!”]

SPOTTER: Still no movement.

WHITE: Entry Team, you are now authorized for forced entry.

ENTRY: Affirmative.

[Sound of Entry Team bashing door in with battering ram]

SPOTTER: Entry Team is inside. Still no movement from the suspect.

COVER: Everything is clear out here.

WHITE: Entry Team, what’s your status?.

ENTRY: The team is securing the residence . . . What?!

[Sound of yelling coming from the suspect’s residence]

ENTRY: Everybody out! Everybody out!!!

WHITE: What the hell is going on down there?!?!

ENTRY: It’s a double cross, sir! It’s a double-

[Sound of massive explosion]

WHITE: What the hell, happened out there?!?!

COVER: Ah, jeez!!! The whole fu@$ing house is gone! Shit!!! Oh, Shit!!!

SPOTTER: The house has been totally blown away!

WHITE: Entry team, what’s your status!?!? Entry Team!?!?

COVER: Dispatch, we have officers down! We need fire and ambulance now!!! NOW!!!

WHITE: Anyone from Entry Team, please respond. . .

[End of Transmission]

[Grid Iron]

To: [email protected]
Date: December 31, 2003
Subject: The FBI's investigation. . .
From: [email protected]

. . . is now closed.

Am I good, or what?

[Grid Iron]

This ends the Iowa City Barnstormers 2003 season.

Check back in for the 2004 season later this weekend. . .

[duckman]

Originally Posted by Grid Iron

This ends the Iowa City Barnstormers 2003 season.

Check back in for the 2004 season later this weekend. . .

Excellent read, Grid Iron. Looking forward to your next installment.

[Grid Iron]

Originally Posted by duckman

Excellent read, Grid Iron. Looking forward to your next installment.

Thanks!

Hopefully, I'll get some time to start 2004 later today.

[Grid Iron]

The 2004 Season begins here.