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Old 03-16-2004, 11:56 AM   #1
Butter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Dayton, OH
Son of a Ted!

hXXp://tedjesuschristgod.org/

Among his (sorry... His) voluminous commandments (which he feels needed to be way more specific than the basic 10 that God originally proclaimed) are such gems as:

Do not verbalize Ted in a swearing tone.

Do not wear leather coats.

Do not make bombs and have fun with them.

Do not buy or use firecrackers.

Do not wear black.

Do not ride motorcycles.

Do not play chess.

Do not have sex in a car or truck or SUV.

Do not buy sexy calendars and posters and magazines even if in bathing suits.

Do not look at or watch things about lust.

Do not drink coffee of any kind or any preparation of coffee.

Do not eat junk food.

Do not drink soda pops.

Do not fart out loud or around people. Do this in a bathroom if possible.


And, of course, sure to be an FOFC favorite:

If a women or female do NOT be a women libber.
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Old 03-16-2004, 12:07 PM   #2
corbes
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
You know, someone put an awful lot of time into that joke... which makes me think... maybe Ted's not joking...
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Old 03-16-2004, 12:38 PM   #3
Pyser
Pro Rookie
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Los Angeles
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butter_of_69
Do not wear black.

Do not ride motorcycles.

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club might have a problem with Ted.
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Old 03-16-2004, 12:50 PM   #4
Rizon
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butter_of_69
hXXp://tedjesuschristgod.org/

Among his (sorry... His) voluminous commandments (which he feels needed to be way more specific than the basic 10 that God originally proclaimed) are such gems as:

Do not verbalize Ted in a swearing tone.

Do not wear leather coats.

Do not make bombs and have fun with them.

Do not buy or use firecrackers.

Do not wear black.

Do not ride motorcycles.

Do not play chess.

Do not have sex in a car or truck or SUV.

Do not buy sexy calendars and posters and magazines even if in bathing suits.

Do not look at or watch things about lust.

Do not drink coffee of any kind or any preparation of coffee.

Do not eat junk food.

Do not drink soda pops.

Do not fart out loud or around people. Do this in a bathroom if possible.

If a women or female do NOT be a women libber.

Do not talk about Fight Club!


^^
Fixed that for ya.
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Old 03-16-2004, 12:53 PM   #5
GoSeahawks
High School Varsity
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Olympia, Wa
Quote:
Do not talk about Fight Club!
You forgot the next rule
Do not talk about fight club!
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