Sex to Die for

Fritz · 06-01-2004, 10:50 AM

from a buddy, no link provided:

Man Commits Suicide After Sex with Hen

May 28, 10:51 am ET

LUSAKA (Reuters) - A 50-year-old Zambian man has hanged himself after his wife found him having sex with a hen, police said Friday.

The woman caught him in the act when she rushed into their house to investigate a noise.
"He attempted to kill her but she managed to escape," a police spokesman said.
The man from the town of Chongwe, about 50 km (30 miles) east of Lusaka, killed himself after being admonished by other villagers.

The hen was slaughtered after the incident.

VPI97 · 06-01-2004, 10:52 AM

Why did the hen cross the road?

To get away from the Zambian man trying to fuck it.

cuervo72 · 06-01-2004, 10:53 AM

What a barbaric culture...taking it out on the hen. The hen was a victim!

----

I'd also like to know how the man thought he'd explain his wife's murder, but counldn't explain the hen...

Surtt · 06-01-2004, 11:19 AM

[quote=cuervo72]What a barbaric culture...taking it out on the hen. The hen was a victim!

How do you know the hen didn't consent.

Fritz · 06-01-2004, 11:42 AM

it takes a tough man to make a tender chicken

Franklinnoble · 06-01-2004, 11:44 AM

I hear the hen was drunk, and was dressed all slutty and stuff... it was practically asking for it.

Franklinnoble · 06-01-2004, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fritz

it takes a tough man to make a tender chicken

I dwell in darkness without you...

Maple Leafs · 06-01-2004, 11:45 AM

I think we need to know the hen's sexual history before we can judge his guilt or innocence.

cthomer5000 · 06-01-2004, 11:46 AM

That isn't the first cock that hen has seen. (*rim-shot*)

Surtt · 06-01-2004, 12:06 PM

Wouldn't be the first chick to get caught with a married man.

Bonegavel · 06-01-2004, 12:11 PM

maybe i'm just naive or inexperienced in fowl-boffing, but is this even possible?

Suicane75 · 06-01-2004, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonegavel

maybe i'm just naive or inexperienced in fowl-boffing, but is this even possible?

Not only possible, but alot of fun.

rkmsuf · 06-01-2004, 12:16 PM

aside from all the pecking it's quite a rush

Suicane75 · 06-01-2004, 12:20 PM

don't forget to wrap their feet.

cthomer5000 · 06-01-2004, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonegavel

maybe i'm just naive or inexperienced in fowl-boffing, but is this even possible?

If an egg can come out of there, I'd imagine the answer is "yes."

Maple Leafs · 06-01-2004, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suicane75

don't forget to wrap their feet.

A guy comes off the golf course with scratches all over his face. "What happened," asks his buddy. "Oh," the guy says, "I blew an eagle on the 18th."

rkmsuf · 06-01-2004, 01:02 PM

Guy took MILF way too literally.

Fritz · 06-01-2004, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

I dwell in darkness without you...

you can;t know how long I wanted to have someone say that. Pity it had to be you.

RawIsDan · 06-01-2004, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonegavel

maybe i'm just naive or inexperienced in fowl-boffing, but is this even possible?

Check out Barnyard Follies. It's amazing the types of movies you see while on a med-cruise.

WSUCougar · 06-01-2004, 02:38 PM

Damn, this thread is hilarious.

Sign seen in Zambia:

TRY OUR OMELETTES!

SplitPersonality1 · 06-01-2004, 03:36 PM

It's threads like these that really make me wonder about Fritz's "Oink, oink, baby." sig.

SplitPersonality1 · 06-01-2004, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonegavel

maybe i'm just naive or inexperienced in fowl-boffing, but....?

Funniest line I've read in a very, long time. Can you imagine someone saying this IRL?

sachmo71 · 06-01-2004, 03:39 PM

I wonder what their babies would look like?

"Chicken Lady loves life!"

WSUCougar · 06-01-2004, 03:52 PM

I just want to take this opportunity to post the image of the infamous chicken McNoggin, found in a 6-piece of McNuggets not so long ago...

JonInMiddleGA · 06-01-2004, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WSUCougar

I just want to take this opportunity to post the image of the infamous chicken McNoggin, found in a 6-piece of McNuggets not so long ago...

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/food/friedrat.htm

(Yeah, it's kinda sorta true ... maybe. And it's been around since Nov. 2004)

Surtt · 06-01-2004, 04:09 PM

Sexy....

sabotai · 06-01-2004, 04:11 PM

Don't be so hard on the guy. He was just trying to motivate the village to learn to read.

SplitPersonality1 · 06-01-2004, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

(Yeah, it's kinda sorta true ... maybe. And it's been around since Nov. 2004)

Let's do the timewarp again.....

WSUCougar · 06-01-2004, 04:16 PM

Could one say that Jon is counting his chickens before they're hatched?

sabotai · 06-01-2004, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SplitPersonality1

Let's do the timewarp again.....

It's just a jump to the left

MacroGuru · 06-01-2004, 04:20 PM

It's Chic-fil-a's newest advertising campaign.

Fok Mor Chikin

Fritz · 06-01-2004, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SplitPersonality1

Funniest line I've read in a very, long time. Can you imagine someone saying this IRL?

absolutely

SplitPersonality1 · 06-01-2004, 04:35 PM

OK. Anyone besides Fritz.

Franklinnoble · 06-01-2004, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SplitPersonality1

OK. Anyone besides Fritz.

Somebody ping The Afoci.

Fritz · 06-01-2004, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Somebody ping The Afoci.

you know, I can imagine it being said. Afoci can imagine saying it. There is a difference.

Ksyrup · 06-01-2004, 10:08 PM

I was interested in seeing a link to this story, so I google-news'd it and came up with several Indian/Russian/California links (there's a joke in that somewhere). All of them had the same exact story, except this one from Russia, complete with picture, no less:

Resident of Zambia had sex with chicken

05/28/2004 20:48

50-year old resident of town Chongvi (50 kilometers from Lusaka, capital of Zambia, Africa) was having sex with hen in his cottage.
His wife heard suspicious sounds, came into the room and saw the man in the midst of his sexual intercourse with the bird.

The man got angry because the wife prevented him from finishing his business, and tried to kill the woman. She ran away and called neighbors for help.

After the fact of sex with the bird was revealed, the man hang himself, and people killed the attractive hen.

I'm thinking this isn't as isolated an incident as we think it might be...

TroyF · 06-01-2004, 10:14 PM

Finger licken good? Has that one been taken yet?

WSUCougar · 06-01-2004, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TroyF

Finger licken good? Has that one been taken yet?

Months on the shelf, and Troy emerges from hibernation for this?!?

Ksyrup · 06-01-2004, 10:19 PM

Kountry Fucked Chicken.

Not quite what the Colonel had in mind...

korme · 06-01-2004, 10:20 PM

TROYF!!

WSUCougar · 06-01-2004, 10:22 PM

Easy now, Shorty. It's not like he's an attractive hen or anything.

VPI97 · 06-01-2004, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

Resident of Zambia had sex with chicken

05/28/2004 20:48

Well, at first I thought the guy was nuts....but now I understand what he was thinking.

VA-VA-VA-VOOM!!!

Ksyrup · 06-01-2004, 10:34 PM

Look at the breasts on that beauty!

BigJohn&TheLions · 06-02-2004, 02:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

Kountry Fucked Chicken.

Not quite what the Colonel had in mind...

At KFC, they do chicken right.

ok, that was bad. Would it be out of line to call hum "hen-pecked?"

The Afoci · 06-02-2004, 09:12 AM

Damn I hate not having the internet at work anymore. I miss all the saying all the witty things that use to make me believe I was funny.

I got nothing.

Suicane75 · 06-02-2004, 11:21 AM

Not work safe, Not work safe, Not work safe, Not work safe.

hxxp://www.specialcurryproject.com/theater/chicken.jpg

wbatl1 · 06-02-2004, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suicane75

Not work safe, Not work safe, Not work safe, Not work safe.

hxxp://www.specialcurryproject.com/theater/chicken.jpg

Do I want to even open this link? I think the URL is descriptive enough.

Suicane75 · 06-02-2004, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wbatl1

Do I want to even open this link? I think the URL is descriptive enough.

Do you?

Franklinnoble · 06-02-2004, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Afoci

Damn I hate not having the internet at work anymore. I miss all the saying all the witty things that use to make me believe I was funny.

I got nothing.

No internet access at work?

I'd have to get a new job, I think.

BigJohn&TheLions · 06-02-2004, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suicane75

Not work safe, Not work safe, Not work safe, Not work safe.

hxxp://www.specialcurryproject.com/theater/chicken.jpg

So Andy KAufman is still alive!

06-01-2004, 10:52 AM	#2
VPI97 Hokie, Hokie, Hokie, Hi Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Kennesaw, GA	Why did the hen cross the road? To get away from the Zambian man trying to fuck it. __________________ CT & Jivin - "Surprisingly Entertaining"

06-01-2004, 10:53 AM	#3
cuervo72 Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Maryland	What a barbaric culture...taking it out on the hen. The hen was a victim! ---- I'd also like to know how the man thought he'd explain his wife's murder, but counldn't explain the hen... __________________ null

06-01-2004, 11:42 AM	#5
Fritz Lethargic Hooligan Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing	it takes a tough man to make a tender chicken __________________ donkey, donkey, walk a little faster

06-01-2004, 11:45 AM	#8
Maple Leafs Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002	I think we need to know the hen's sexual history before we can judge his guilt or innocence. __________________ Down Goes Brown: Toronto Maple Leafs Humor and Analysis

06-01-2004, 12:16 PM	#13
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	aside from all the pecking it's quite a rush __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

06-01-2004, 11:19 AM	#4
Surtt College Benchwarmer Join Date: Nov 2003	[quote=cuervo72]What a barbaric culture...taking it out on the hen. The hen was a victim! How do you know the hen didn't consent.

06-01-2004, 11:44 AM	#6
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	I hear the hen was drunk, and was dressed all slutty and stuff... it was practically asking for it.

06-01-2004, 12:06 PM	#10
Surtt College Benchwarmer Join Date: Nov 2003	Wouldn't be the first chick to get caught with a married man.

06-01-2004, 12:11 PM	#11
Bonegavel Awaiting Further Instructions... Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Macungie, PA	maybe i'm just naive or inexperienced in fowl-boffing, but is this even possible?

06-01-2004, 12:20 PM	#14
Suicane75 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: NJ	don't forget to wrap their feet.

06-01-2004, 01:02 PM	#17
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	Guy took MILF way too literally. __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

06-01-2004, 02:38 PM	#20
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	Damn, this thread is hilarious. Sign seen in Zambia: TRY OUR OMELETTES! __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

06-01-2004, 03:36 PM	#21
SplitPersonality1 College Benchwarmer Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Grafton, WI	It's threads like these that really make me wonder about Fritz's "Oink, oink, baby." sig.

06-01-2004, 03:39 PM	#23
sachmo71 The boy who cried Trout Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: TX	I wonder what their babies would look like? "Chicken Lady loves life!"

06-01-2004, 03:52 PM	#24
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	I just want to take this opportunity to post the image of the infamous chicken McNoggin, found in a 6-piece of McNuggets not so long ago... __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

06-01-2004, 04:09 PM	#26
Surtt College Benchwarmer Join Date: Nov 2003	Sexy....

06-01-2004, 04:11 PM	#27
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	Don't be so hard on the guy. He was just trying to motivate the village to learn to read.

06-01-2004, 04:16 PM	#29
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	Could one say that Jon is counting his chickens before they're hatched? __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

06-01-2004, 04:20 PM	#31
MacroGuru Coordinator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Utah	It's Chic-fil-a's newest advertising campaign. Fok Mor Chikin __________________ "forgetting what is in the past, I strive for the future" Last edited by MacroGuru : 06-01-2004 at 04:25 PM.

06-01-2004, 04:35 PM	#33
SplitPersonality1 College Benchwarmer Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Grafton, WI	OK. Anyone besides Fritz.

06-01-2004, 10:14 PM	#37
TroyF Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	Finger licken good? Has that one been taken yet?

06-01-2004, 10:19 PM	#39
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	Kountry Fucked Chicken. Not quite what the Colonel had in mind... __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

06-01-2004, 10:20 PM	#40
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	TROYF!!

06-01-2004, 10:22 PM	#41
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	Easy now, Shorty. It's not like he's an attractive hen or anything. __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

06-01-2004, 10:34 PM	#43
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	Look at the breasts on that beauty! __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

06-02-2004, 09:12 AM	#45
The Afoci Pro Rookie Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Moorhead	Damn I hate not having the internet at work anymore. I miss all the saying all the witty things that use to make me believe I was funny. I got nothing. __________________ I had something.

06-02-2004, 11:21 AM	#46
Suicane75 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: NJ	Not work safe, Not work safe, Not work safe, Not work safe. hxxp://www.specialcurryproject.com/theater/chicken.jpg

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