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06-07-2004, 08:17 PM
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#1 | ||
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Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Keene, NH
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I don't get any sex
Well, in my dreams anyways.
Last night was a typical dream: First, Graham (my 2 year old) snuck out of the house at 5am, went to the neighbors house, and opened up their mail - a delivery of fireworks. After he lit all the fireworks, I went to get Graham and we went over to another neighbors house - an old friend of mine who I had a minor crush on in high school (she's not a real neighbor - she lives in Indiana). Anyways, since it's like 5 am, she's in bed, so I go into the bedroom to say "hi" while Graham starts playing with her kids (she has none in RL). Meanwhile, her husband gets up to watch the kids, so I take off my clothes and climb into bed to visit with Kim (she's also naked). So, we lay there making small talk, talking about various topics (like her nipples, for example - I blame...or thank...Fritz for this). Of course, if I'm writing this dream, you all know where it ends up...but my subconcious denies me - eventually, she gets up and gets dressed, and I gather up Graham and go home. Later, her and I attend a circus together (not sure who to blame for this), and we start making out. But, before things get any further, I get chosen to be on stage for something, and I never do get back to the audience to see her. And, the next thing you know, I wake up. I dream a lot. I dream about women a lot. I dream about naked women a lot, usually naked women I want to have sex with. And yet, I rarely get to seal the deal in my dreams (or, I am and I'm not remembering). And, frankly, I don't think this is fair.
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Mile High Hockey |
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06-07-2004, 08:24 PM
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#2 |
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Hokie, Hokie, Hokie, Hi
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Kennesaw, GA
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alrighty then
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06-07-2004, 08:38 PM
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#3 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
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Im not sure but i think this may be a common thing, my friends and I have actually discussed this and while the activity happens alot in our dreams, consumation rarely does. Theres got to be a study on this somewhere.
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06-07-2004, 08:40 PM
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#4 |
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General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: The Satellite of Love
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If I were a psychologist, I would say that this is an indication of a self-esteem problem. In your mind, you do not think you are good enough for these women, and thus in your dreams, you deny yourself them. This could possibly be a biproduct of past rejections. Even though you are married and have a child, you feel as though you don't deserve it. You, in your dreams, try to see if you are worth it by finding yourself in these sistuations. Your mind challenges itself to succeed in "give me" situations. All you have to do is act on your urge, and your goal is acheived. Your inability to reach the goal is a clear indication that you have yet to really get over past relationship failures. You need to realize that you are not who you once were, and that you most definately do deserve your wife and your child. You can not let yourself be trapped in your past.
But I'm not, so I'll just laugh at you. HA HA!  |
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06-07-2004, 08:57 PM
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#5 |
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Lethargic Hooligan
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing
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I put the fan in fantasy
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donkey, donkey, walk a little faster |
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06-07-2004, 08:58 PM
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#6 |
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Lethargic Hooligan
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing
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dola, were there any midgets at the circus? No disrespect to the little people in the fofc community, but midgets make me happy.
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donkey, donkey, walk a little faster |
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06-07-2004, 08:59 PM
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#7 | |
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College Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Federal Way, WA
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Quote:
Like many others, I too have this problem with women and sex(and the lack thereof) in my dreams. I always just figured, that sexual desire for most of us is usually obvious and on the surface of our thoughts. You don't need to express obvious desires in your dreams. Now perhaps if you saw this woman more often and tried to push such thoughts completely out your mind... Then your dream self might get some. |
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06-07-2004, 09:00 PM
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#8 |
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Lethargic Hooligan
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing
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dola dola
you need some of my PATENTED (well, pantent pending. the patent was on the way until skydog banned sjshaw) dreamtime VIAGRA (except I can't call it that).
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donkey, donkey, walk a little faster |
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06-07-2004, 09:10 PM
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#9 | |
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College Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Federal Way, WA
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Quote:
Double Dola DENIED worse than heterosexual sex in DD's dream! |
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06-07-2004, 09:12 PM
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#10 |
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General Manager
Join Date: Jul 2001
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Since there is no physical stimulation I imagine the mind gets more stimulation from other things. Once you finally get to having sex in a dream it's rather boring and anti-climatic since there is no physical stimulation.
What we need is a crotch massager for when we are asleep. I guarentee you'll dream you are having sex much more often. |
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06-07-2004, 09:31 PM
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#11 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: May 2001
Location: toronto
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In these dreams i usually end up having sex.....except i usually screw the gal in a weird spot.....like her thigh or bottom of her foot or some stupid crap like that.
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Pumpy Tudors Now that I've cracked and made that admission, I wonder if I'm only a couple of steps away from wanting to tongue-kiss Jaromir Jagr and give Bobby Clarke a blowjob. |
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06-07-2004, 09:32 PM
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#12 | |
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Lethargic Hooligan
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing
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Quote:
how do you back up this guarentee?
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donkey, donkey, walk a little faster |
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06-07-2004, 09:36 PM
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#13 |
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Banned
Join Date: May 2004
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I aint seen pussy in so long Id throw stones at it
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06-07-2004, 09:38 PM
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#14 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
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Heh
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06-07-2004, 09:57 PM
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#15 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: the yo'
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Hrm.....not getting laid is probably better than waking up and having to clean up.
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06-07-2004, 09:58 PM
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#16 |
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n00b
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Texas, USA
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I'm no pyschologist, but I did read an article discussing this subject several months ago. Don't fret. It seems the answer to why dream sex is typically not fully consumated is rather basic. You're subconsciously trying to avoid ejaculation, so your dream is cutting you off. Nothing sinister about that.
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06-07-2004, 09:59 PM
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#17 | |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
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Quote:
I am never, in any form of consciousness, trying to avoid ejaculation. |
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06-07-2004, 10:00 PM
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#18 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Keene, NH
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ditto
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Mile High Hockey |
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06-07-2004, 10:01 PM
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#19 |
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n00b
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Texas, USA
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That's why it's called subconscious, as opposed to a form of "consciousness".
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06-07-2004, 10:02 PM
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#20 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Keene, NH
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well, my subconscious sux
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Mile High Hockey |
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06-07-2004, 10:33 PM
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#21 | |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: PNW
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Quote:
Funny I always have this problem too... but in real life... |
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06-07-2004, 10:48 PM
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#22 | |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Los Angeles, California
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Quote:
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Myspace Profile |
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06-07-2004, 11:58 PM
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#23 | |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Winnipeg, MB
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Quote:
Like the back of a Volkswagon?
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"Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime." |
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06-08-2004, 05:37 AM
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#24 | |
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Lethargic Hooligan
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing
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Quote:
Like in a bucket of chitlins
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donkey, donkey, walk a little faster |
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06-08-2004, 05:42 AM
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#25 | |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Manchester, CT
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Quote:
That is fine, but let it be known, I put the ant in fantasy.
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81-78 Cincinnati basketball writer P. Daugherty, "Connor Barwin playing several minutes against Syracuse is like kids with slingshots taking down Caesar's legions." |
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06-08-2004, 07:23 AM
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#26 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Keene, NH
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it continues...
last night, not only did I not get any...but my ex-girlfriend slept with someone else just to torment me. After that, I toured Buckingham Palace with the Backstreet Boys. it's pretty clear: my subconscious hates me.
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Mile High Hockey |
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06-08-2004, 07:28 AM
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#27 |
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Banned
Join Date: Jan 2004
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Man, I always seal the deal in my dreams.
My subconscious wants to get it whenever it can. :\ |
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06-08-2004, 07:31 AM
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#28 |
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This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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I have no response to that.
OK, if you think those are twisted dreams, I can go one further. I rarely ever dream of having sex, but when I do, it's with my wife. What kind of perverted freak am I?!
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M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
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06-08-2004, 07:35 AM
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#29 | |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
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Quote:
Ummm. . . Wow. Time for therapy? Just one more thing: You ever have sex with a Backstreet Boy in your dreams, pleas keep it to yourself. This is bad enough. |
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06-08-2004, 08:08 AM
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#30 | |
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Lethargic Hooligan
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing
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Quote:
I thought you put the Mar in Mel
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donkey, donkey, walk a little faster |
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06-08-2004, 09:07 AM
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#31 | |
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Stadium Announcer
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Burke, VA
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Quote:
You're not a perverted freak. I often dream about doinking your wife, and I'm perfectly normal. By the way, I have lived without my wife and kids for three months now, with only two trips home during that time. Don't even try and talk to me about not getting any. I'm the freakin' king of not getting any.
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I don't want the world. I just want your half. |
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06-08-2004, 09:14 AM
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#32 | |
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Lethargic Hooligan
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing
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Quote:
Cam - investigate Good Guys.
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donkey, donkey, walk a little faster |
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06-08-2004, 09:15 AM
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#33 | |
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Stadium Announcer
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Burke, VA
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Quote:
Funny, one of the guys I work with went there a couple of weeks ago after seeing Velvet Revolver in D.C. I want to know when the heck we're going to Richmond! My family arrives here on the 20th, so time's running out if we want to do it soon.
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I don't want the world. I just want your half. |
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06-08-2004, 09:16 AM
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#34 |
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Stadium Announcer
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Burke, VA
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dola
my coworker said the dancers there were tatooed to the point of skankiness, but I don't know if that's the norm.
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I don't want the world. I just want your half. |
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06-08-2004, 09:21 AM
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#35 |
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Lethargic Hooligan
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing
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I have not been there or the place across the street in a few years, but I recall them being quite fine, and very pantless.
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donkey, donkey, walk a little faster |
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06-08-2004, 09:25 AM
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#36 | |
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lolzcat
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Annapolis, Md
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Quote:
I thought that was The Afoci. You, in the other hand, put the "antsy" in fantasy. I got nothing. Last edited by QuikSand : 06-08-2004 at 09:25 AM. |
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06-08-2004, 09:34 AM
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#37 |
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Stadium Announcer
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Burke, VA
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who's the sick soda fetishist that puts Fanta in fantasy?
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I don't want the world. I just want your half. |
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06-08-2004, 09:37 AM
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#38 | |
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This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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Quote:
Bah, between the wife being majorly pregnant for the past few months (pregnancy didn't do for her what it does for some other women), and now in the immediate "recovery time," I might as well have been out of town for the past 6 months.
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M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
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06-08-2004, 10:32 AM
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#39 | |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Fresno, CA
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Quote:
My wife was in the "some other women" camp, so I just popped in here to laugh at you guys. |
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06-08-2004, 11:23 AM
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#40 | |
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World Champion Mis-speller
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Covington, Ga.
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Quote:
Last edited by GrantDawg : 06-08-2004 at 11:24 AM. |
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06-08-2004, 11:52 AM
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#41 | |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Keene, NH
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Quote:
that's where we're at now. life is cruel, sometimes. the cruelest joke is the breasts - they get bigger almost immediately, but they become so sore that they are generally "hands off". cruel.
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Mile High Hockey |
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06-08-2004, 11:54 AM
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#42 | |
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World Champion Mis-speller
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Covington, Ga.
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Quote:
Really? Again not to brag, but why could, umm.... "find extreme pleasure" while pregnant with just a little attention there and no other simulation. You are making me nostalgic. *sigh* |
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06-08-2004, 12:12 PM
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#43 |
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Stadium Announcer
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Burke, VA
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Grant's gonna turn into revrew if this thread keeps going.
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I don't want the world. I just want your half. |
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06-08-2004, 12:14 PM
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#44 | |
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World Champion Mis-speller
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Covington, Ga.
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Quote:
We took care of that after my son.  |
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06-08-2004, 12:18 PM
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#45 |
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Stadium Announcer
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Burke, VA
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you could always auction off the chance to be a one time stand in to members of the board, and then reap the rewards when nature takes its course.
or not. I really have no idea how to respond to what you said without being tasteless or entirely too personal. We are talking about vasectomy and not a castration, right?
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I don't want the world. I just want your half. |
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06-08-2004, 01:09 PM
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#46 |
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This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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We're mulling over the V word right now. Not that we're in danger of getting pregnant at this point, but soon...one day, far into the future...it might at least be possible.
I know someone who had a bad experience with it, got an infection. I don't know too much more, nor do I want to know. But suffice to say he wasn't on his feet much for 3 weeks, and when he was, he walked like a 90 year old man who had just been kicked in the crotch by a horse.
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M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." Last edited by Ksyrup : 06-08-2004 at 01:09 PM. |
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06-08-2004, 01:12 PM
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#47 | |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2001
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Quote:
He was butchered then
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"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales |
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06-08-2004, 01:32 PM
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#48 |
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Go Reds
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio
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this thread is great to wake up to
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06-08-2004, 07:02 PM
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#49 | |
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World Champion Mis-speller
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Covington, Ga.
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Quote:
Tubal ligation, so your evil plan is out.  |
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06-08-2004, 09:49 PM
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#50 | |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Maryland
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Quote:
Usually, I think I'm subconsciously trying to not pee in my bed, as when I wake up that's really REALLY what I need to do....
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