This needs its own thread...

[Franklinnoble]

... because I spent a good 25 minutes of my life working on it, dammit.

Alright... it's not "Cougar-worthy," but it's a slow Friday around here...

Sing to the tune of Billy Joel's "Piano Man":

It’s nine a.m. on a Monday
The f’ing elitists log in
There’s JeeberD posting rapidly
In every new thread within

He says, “UTEP football is the greatest
At least until coach Mike Price goes
But the Cowboys suck, and Vinny’s a schmuck
But at least we still have Bill Parcells”

La la la, de dola
La la, de de da da dum

Chorus:
Post a new thread, you’re a football fan
Post a new thread today
Well we’re all in the mood for some comedy
And you’ve got something to say

Now John’s in Iowa, he’s a friend of mine
He likes the patriotic undies
He gives legal advice, thinks liberals are nice
And quotes from the Big Lebowski
He says “Franklin’s a troll and a homophobe.”
And everyone else might agree
“I’d probably ban him forever
If I were the H.N.I.C.”

Oh, la la la, de dola
La la, de de da da dum

Now Cam is an NRA mouthpiece
Without any hair on his head
And he’s reading The Afoci’s post about pork pies
Oh, why did he click on that thread?

And Fritz is posting a parody
As Kodos whores for EA
Then Sov posts a photo of his ex-girlfriend
Quick, go get it, before Ben takes it away

Chorus:
Post a new thread, you’re a football fan
Post a new thread today
Well we’re all in the mood for some comedy
And you’ve got something to say

It’s a pretty slow day for a weekday
No political posts to attack
What we really need back is the QOTM
Or to reinstate HornsManiac
Now go put on your robe and your wizard hat
And pick up your squid and your trout
We need our next text sim, someone should go and ping Jim
So he’ll tell us when his new game comes out.

Oh, la la la, de dola
La la, de de da da dum

Chorus:
Post a new thread, you’re a football fan
Post a new thread today
Well we’re all in the mood for some comedy
And you’ve got something to say

[VPI97]

[VPI97]

dola - I spent a half hour on this mess:

You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge

Straight from the board, crazy mf'er named QuikSand
From the gang called Posters With Attitudes
When I'm logged on, I got a sawed off
Push submit, and bodies are hauled off

You too, boy, if ya mess with me
SkyDog's gonna hafta come and get me
Off yo ass, that's how I'm goin out
For the punk ass trolls that's showin out

All the fools start to mumble, they wanna rumble
I'll quiz em up with an enigma puzzle
Goin off on a mf'er like that
without question, I only accept fact

So give it up smooth
Ain't no tellin when I'm down for a jack move
Here's a math problem to keep yo dancin
like a fool who's listening to Marilyn Manson

Believe it or not, two thirds is the tool
You'll never catch me act like a mf'ing fool
Me and you can go toe to toe, no maybe
I'm knockin ya'll out tha box, daily

yo weekly, monthly and yearly
until all them dumb mf'ers see clearly
that I'm down with the I-W-S
Boy, you better not mess

So when I'm in your neighborhood, you better duck
Coz QuikSand is crazy as f*ck
As I leave, I cut a swath like a sword
but when I come back, boy, I'm comin straight from the board

[John Galt]

I support and applaud any song where I have my own verse.

[Crapshoot]

nicely done FN- maybe that could earn you the QOTD back,..

[Ben E Lou]

Once again, I just couldn't contain myself.

[JeeberD]

FAN-Tastic!!!

[Franklinnoble]

Originally Posted by SkyDog

Once again, I just couldn't contain myself.

Faster than a speeding jukebox! Nicely done, Ben.

And just like that, I've become a songwriter in an afternoon. I might have to quit my day job...

[Silver Owl]

That was beautiful !

[Buzzbee]

Keep it up guys. Before long Ben will have enough material for:

Things I'll Regret For Sure

[MrBug708]

Excellent

I'd be impressed if someone could manage a "We Didn't Start the Fire" song. I'd be sure to be included in that....

Well, probably not.

[Buccaneer]

Originally Posted by SkyDog

Once again, I just couldn't contain myself.

Ben, you are just too talented.

[Sun Tzu]

Skydog has just become immortalized for that one. Absolute classic.

[sovereignstar]

Good one, guys.

My ex-girlfriend would be so proud.

[gstelmack]

I am so proud to be a member of this community (sniff sniff).

[TLK]

as an aside, I burn a new cd each week of the songs that I listend to most, on my home pc, and take the cd to work the following week. I'll be damned if the FOFC version of "Piano Man", wasn't in the top 5..... that'll be hard to explain to the guys at work..... oh well

[cthomer5000]

It didn't heat me until the last chorus that 'dola' was worked into the 'la de da's'

some quality stuff. A few particularly great lines in there.

[SackAttack]

Very nice, Franklin.

I wrote a couple back in the early FOFC days - right around the time of Dialgate - so I know how much work goes into something like that. It's always a little awkward, but you had a coupla stanzas that nailed the meter perfectly. Way to go.

[korme]

Originally Posted by Buzzbee

Keep it up guys. Before long Ben will have enough material for:

Things I'll Regret For Sure

ahahhahaah yes!

we all need to come up with some parodies in this thread

[Neuqua]

I smell Grammy.

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by VPI97

dola - I spent a half hour on this mess:

I'm still waiting on a Ben E Lou recording of this...