More Monkey Business

[rkmsuf]

I'd pay to see this.

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1 Mar 2005

OF course, the Oscars are only a B-picture to the main attraction – the trial of Michael Jackson.
Bananas
But before the film of the trial can be made, we need the actual trial. And after much deliberating, it finally got underway yesterday.

And the news is that Jackson has called upon his pet chimp, the small hairy little boy called Bubbles, to testify on his behalf.

The Star says that Jackson thinks his monkey pal can testify under oath that the singer never hurt or abused children.

Using sign-language, the singer plans to “communicate” with his friend with the aid of a gorilla called Koko.

Jacko’s lawyers will sign their questions to Koko, who speaks 1,000 words (including 999 words for banana and one for innocent). Koko will then speak to Bubbles.

Bubbles will reply to Koko’s questions. Koko will translate the gibbers into sign language. And the lawyers will say that on the night in question Bubbles was in his den watching old Tarzan movies.

And eating a banana...

[gottimd]

Lots of Monkey stuff in the news these days apparently.

The thing is, is that he can put his chimp (can't believe I just typed that) on the stand, if the report is real, and he will still get off no matter what (no pun intended). What are the chances they send Michael Jackson to prison? At most he will get a few months probation or get sent to some rehab/Club Fed type place for a very short amount of time, and lose some sort of civil case where he will have to pay these kids and their parents a hefty amount of money.

[rkmsuf]

He must really trust that chimp.

"Today in shocking testimony, Bubbles turned the courtroom upside down by revealing under oath that Mr. Jackson regularly shoved bananas up his rear and was forced to pole dance for Michael."