I lack Closing Skills...Please Help

JimmyWint · 05-20-2005, 03:19 PM

Okay, So I like to go out on a Friday evening and have a few adult beverages while admiring the scenery. I even am able to strike up conversations without a hitch...but when it comes to closing the deal I seem to always blow it...How does one become an effective closer?

mhass · 05-20-2005, 03:22 PM

This will end very badly for you, Jimmy.

Young Drachma · 05-20-2005, 03:22 PM

Play it cool. Bring a friend. Don't be desperate.

Karlifornia · 05-20-2005, 03:23 PM

"Do you want to go back to my place so I can turn your face into a petri dish?"

Blackadar · 05-20-2005, 03:23 PM

You need to be cocky AND funny.

st.cronin · 05-20-2005, 03:23 PM

'Does this smell like chloroform to you?'

TLK · 05-20-2005, 03:24 PM

Over/Under--- 103 posts

Young Drachma · 05-20-2005, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

roofie colada?

Best. show. ever.

Lathum · 05-20-2005, 03:27 PM

roofie colada?

Desnudo · 05-20-2005, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLionKing

Over/Under--- 103 posts

Given the time of day, and it being Friday, I don't think this thread is going to get the love it deserves.

Jimmy, my advice would be to find a better place for advice on picking up women than a text sim message board.

And show a little butt cleavage. Chicks dig that.

markprior22 · 05-20-2005, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

'Does this smell like chloroform to you?'

This method sounds very promising!! Let us know how it turns out Jimmy.

Lathum · 05-20-2005, 03:31 PM

Tell them about this message board. They'll think thats pretty cool.

WSUCougar · 05-20-2005, 03:31 PM

I'll get the beer...someone else pop some popcorn.

BrianD · 05-20-2005, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

'Does this smell like chloroform to you?'

I like this one.

Glengoyne · 05-20-2005, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

...How does one become an effective loser?

Just by posting here, you are well on your way.

Sorry about the quote correction....That is what I thought it said though.

judicial clerk · 05-20-2005, 04:49 PM

tell us more about what you are looking for. When you say "close" do you mean get the person's telephone number so that you can get a date, do you mean telling her you have to get up early the next morning as you slip out of her apartment at 3:00 in the morning, or do you mean something in between?

Just tell us more about how your conversations go.

moriarty · 05-20-2005, 05:38 PM

I sense Jimmy is the "nice'" guy whom all the girls love to be "friends" with.

Poor Jimmy.

Heh, on the brightside I'm sure all your friends appreciate a good "set up" man.

Julio Riddols · 05-20-2005, 05:39 PM

I think if you develop your sinker a bit and find a way to get some more movement on your fastball, you'll be converting more saves in no time.. Figuratively speaking of course. I don't have any idea what your "out" pitch is.

stevew · 05-21-2005, 12:41 AM

Maybe you need to go back down to the minors and start getting the easy outs, and work your way up to the big leagues?

dubb93 · 05-21-2005, 12:43 AM

What you need to do is look as confident as you can. Strut over to a table full of good looking chicks, make sure the table is full of them, the more the better. Walk right up to them and blurt out "Which one of you lucky bitches gets the pleasure of sucking my dick tonight." The key is to keep a straight face and look confident.

Franklinnoble · 05-21-2005, 01:20 AM

The Ladies' Man recommends you try the butt.

ThunderingHERD · 05-21-2005, 03:26 AM

"Form a tragedy"

Ragone · 05-21-2005, 06:20 AM

I would suggest not taking tips from Dan Kolb

illinifan999 · 05-21-2005, 07:33 AM

Latroy?

Ben E Lou · 05-21-2005, 07:38 AM

As I go in to the control panel to check IP's, anyone want to lay odds on how likely this account is to get banned?

FrogMan · 05-21-2005, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkyDog

As I go in to the control panel to check IP's, anyone want to lay odds on how likely this account is to get banned?

well, if so, he's been flying under the radar for quite a while now...

FM

Ben E Lou · 05-21-2005, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FrogMan

well, if so, he's been flying under the radar for quite a while now...

FM

Not really. A common technique of some of our more creative and long-term trolls is/was to create multiple accounts, posting a few harmless times with each account, leaving said accounts alone for months/years at a time, then comign back and using those accounts to troll/create drama when they're bored on a Friday afternoon at work.

Ben E Lou · 05-21-2005, 08:01 AM

After further review, it is likely that this guy is legit. Odd? Perhaps. Socially dysfunctional? Highly likely. Coming to the wrong place at the wrong time for advice on this? Most definitely.

But legit? In all likelihood.

WSUCougar · 05-21-2005, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dubb93

What you need to do is look as confident as you can. Strut over to a table full of good looking chicks, make sure the table is full of them, the more the better. Walk right up to them and blurt out "Which one of you lucky bitches gets the pleasure of sucking my dick tonight." The key is to keep a straight face and look confident.

I'd qualify that as "cocky."

WSUCougar · 05-21-2005, 10:22 AM

dola

Quote:

Originally Posted by illinifan999

Latroy?

Gold

korme · 05-21-2005, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkyDog

After further review, it is likely that this guy is legit. Odd? Perhaps. Socially dysfunctional? Highly likely. Coming to the wrong place at the wrong time for advice on this? Most definitely.

But legit? In all likelihood.

Ripping on him because you *THOUGHT* he was a troll? Highly unnecessary.

Ben E Lou · 05-21-2005, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shorty3281

Ripping on him because you *THOUGHT* he was a troll? Highly unnecessary.

Your cause-effect assocations are sorely lacking.

Marmel · 05-21-2005, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shorty3281

Ripping on him because you *THOUGHT* he was a troll? Highly unnecessary.

Shorty, he just likes to remind everyone he can ban people, don't worry about it.

Ben E Lou · 05-21-2005, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marmel

Shorty, he just likes to remind everyone he can ban people, don't worry about it.

Yours are, too.

DeToxRox · 05-21-2005, 01:10 PM

Ask her back to a private chat.

kingnebwsu · 05-22-2005, 01:22 AM

The only time I formed an alternate name to ask a question about my romantic life (because some of my friends patrol this board), my thread was shut down. There were like 15 responses, none of which were helpful. That's when I learned not to count on FOFC for serious life advice. BTW, I never got a chance to reply to my original post in that thread (Shrug)

flere-imsaho · 05-22-2005, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkyDog

Your cause-effect assocations are sorely lacking.

How is it that a guy, asking for advice on how to more successfully pick up women, is "socially dysfunctional"?

SunDevil · 05-22-2005, 05:10 PM

Try the swirl or the pinch.

BrianD · 05-22-2005, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SunDevil

Try the swirl or the pinch.

Is that a clockwise swirl, or a counter-clockwise swirl?

dawgfan · 05-22-2005, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkyDog

After further review, it is likely that this guy is legit. Odd? Perhaps. Socially dysfunctional? Highly likely. Coming to the wrong place at the wrong time for advice on this? Most definitely.

But legit? In all likelihood.

So let me see if I'm following this correctly - you publicly speculate this thread was started by a troll, and when you find out it wasn't, not only do you not apologize, you insult him?

Poor form SkyDog, poor form.

stevew · 05-22-2005, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dawgfan

So let me see if I'm following this correctly - you publicly speculate this thread was started by a troll, and when you find out it wasn't, not only do you
not apologize, you insult him?

Poor form SkyDog, poor form.

At least he didnt suggest that he was a joystick jockey.

timmynausea · 05-22-2005, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkyDog

As I go in to the control panel to check IP's, anyone want to lay odds on how likely this account is to get banned?

For a second I thought IP's was in reference to Innings pitched and this guy was going to get banned for not really being a closer. (Look at all these innings! This loser is a mediocre middle reliever trying to claim he's a closer.)

Schmidty · 05-22-2005, 06:49 PM

Wow. I hadn't even read this thread after SD apparantly posted. Calling a guy socially dysfunctional for no reason? Nice job.

I hadn't really had a problem with SD before the past couple of days, but this from a guy who is trying to keep the peace and run the board cleanly? Poor.

Maybe that puts my on his hit list, but I just call it the way I see it (same way he claims to).

JimmyWint · 05-23-2005, 12:16 PM

Well, I did not have much better luck last weekend, but I managed to lay the foundation for the big close next weekend. I was at a bar that had ladies night, and it just so happened that there was a ratio of like 5:1 women...so that helped my cause! I would say my biggest problem is trying to shed that "nice Guy" image. I think I may go out and get one of those temporary tattoos and see if that helps. Do tattoos still convey the bad boy image?

Also, who is SkyDog and why did he call me a troll? I have posted and read posts for a long time now. I was very saddened to be attacked at such a personal level. Perhaps I could let it slide though.

rkmsuf · 05-23-2005, 12:21 PM

The key is timing. Lay low and when the moment presents it's self yell out

"Times up. Leroy....Jeeeeeennnnnkkkkkkkkkiiiiiiinnnnnnnssss!"

Grab one, throw her in your car and speed away.

Works every time.

Desnudo · 05-23-2005, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

Do tattoos still convey the bad boy image?

I would say no, since everyone and their mother has one now. If you want to convey the bad boy image, try black leather chaps and a matching studded leather hat.

TBH, I can sense why you're not having much luck at bars. In all seriousness, if all you want is a one night stand, be an arrogant ass. You'll strike out a lot, but you will take someone home eventually.

rkmsuf · 05-23-2005, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

I would say no, since everyone and their mother has one now.

I'm telling Mike Tyson you said that.

rkmsuf · 05-23-2005, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

You are so street

Wurd

flere-imsaho · 05-23-2005, 12:39 PM

I think it's important to understand what the opposite of the "nice guy" is. Because it's not the "bad boy". The "nice guy" is the guy who's pleasant, funny, attentive to the woman and, thus, completely a non-challenge to her. When you get into this role, you become the "fall-back" option for the woman. Unless you happen to look like Brad Pitt, she's going to put you in the "fall-back" bracket and keep looking for bigger fish.

The opposite of "nice guy", then, is "can take it or leave it guy". He's the guy who's fun, interesting, at least somewhat charismatic, and gives the woman the impression that if he happens to not get her number, it's cool, because he has other options.

Recently there was a thread here that devolved into a conversation amongst the married men (myself included) about how we all found ourselves much more attractive to the opposite sex once we got married. Why is this? Take a look at the description for the opposite of "nice guy". Ring any bells? Yeah, we'll talk to women in social settings, we'll be smart & funny, and we're probably at least a little charismatic, but at the end of the day, we don't really care if we get her number. We're a challenge, unattainable, and it drives them nuts.

(Note: I've found that once women hit their late 20s, this doesn't apply anymore, so don't anyone view this as a blanket statement).

So, my advice: Be yourself, be cool, show enough interest, but not too much, and give the impression that you have everything you need. Best of luck.

Desnudo · 05-23-2005, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

I'm telling Mike Tyson you said that.

You are so street

05-20-2005, 03:22 PM	#2
mhass High School Varsity Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Here	This will end very badly for you, Jimmy. __________________ Now while I wasn't able to cut everyone I wanted to, I have cut a lot of you. - H.J.S.

05-20-2005, 03:22 PM	#3
Young Drachma Dark Cloud Join Date: Apr 2001	Play it cool. Bring a friend. Don't be desperate. __________________ Current dynasty: Hard Knocks Tennis Sim Dynasty \| OOTP Mod: Managerial Strategy Files \| GM Excel Competitive Balance Tax/Revenue Sharing Calc \| FBCB Mods on Github

05-20-2005, 03:23 PM	#4
Karlifornia Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: San Jose, CA	"Do you want to go back to my place so I can turn your face into a petri dish?" __________________ Look into the mind of a crazy man (NSFW) http://www.whitepowerupdate.wordpress.com

05-20-2005, 03:31 PM	#13
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	I'll get the beer...someone else pop some popcorn. __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

05-20-2005, 05:39 PM	#18
Julio Riddols College Prospect Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bryson Shitty, NC	I think if you develop your sinker a bit and find a way to get some more movement on your fastball, you'll be converting more saves in no time.. Figuratively speaking of course. I don't have any idea what your "out" pitch is. __________________ Recklessly enthused, stubbornly amused. FUCK EA

05-20-2005, 03:23 PM	#5
Blackadar Retired Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Fantasyland	You need to be cocky AND funny.

05-20-2005, 03:23 PM	#6
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	'Does this smell like chloroform to you?'

05-20-2005, 03:24 PM	#7
TLK Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Allen Park, MI	Over/Under--- 103 posts

05-20-2005, 03:27 PM	#9
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	roofie colada?

05-20-2005, 04:49 PM	#16
judicial clerk College Benchwarmer Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Portland, OR	tell us more about what you are looking for. When you say "close" do you mean get the person's telephone number so that you can get a date, do you mean telling her you have to get up early the next morning as you slip out of her apartment at 3:00 in the morning, or do you mean something in between? Just tell us more about how your conversations go.

05-20-2005, 05:38 PM	#17
moriarty College Starter Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: A negative place	I sense Jimmy is the "nice'" guy whom all the girls love to be "friends" with. Poor Jimmy. Heh, on the brightside I'm sure all your friends appreciate a good "set up" man.

05-21-2005, 12:41 AM	#19
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	Maybe you need to go back down to the minors and start getting the easy outs, and work your way up to the big leagues?

05-21-2005, 01:20 AM	#21
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	The Ladies' Man recommends you try the butt.

05-21-2005, 03:26 AM	#22
ThunderingHERD College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: North Carolina	"Form a tragedy" __________________ "I'm losing my edge--to better looking people... with better ideas... and more talent. And who are actually really, really nice." "Everyone's a voyeurist--they're watching me watch them watch me right now."

05-21-2005, 06:20 AM	#23
Ragone Pro Rookie Join Date: May 2002 Location: Kansas City, Mo	I would suggest not taking tips from Dan Kolb

05-21-2005, 07:33 AM	#24
illinifan999 Pro Rookie Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: VA	Latroy? __________________ Chicago Eagles 2 time ZFL champions We're "rebuilding"

05-21-2005, 07:38 AM	#25
Ben E Lou Morgado's Favorite Forum Fascist Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Greensboro, NC	As I go in to the control panel to check IP's, anyone want to lay odds on how likely this account is to get banned? __________________ The media don't understand the kinds of problems and pressures 54 million come wit'!

05-21-2005, 08:01 AM	#28
Ben E Lou Morgado's Favorite Forum Fascist Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Greensboro, NC	After further review, it is likely that this guy is legit. Odd? Perhaps. Socially dysfunctional? Highly likely. Coming to the wrong place at the wrong time for advice on this? Most definitely. But legit? In all likelihood. __________________ The media don't understand the kinds of problems and pressures 54 million come wit'! Last edited by Ben E Lou : 05-21-2005 at 08:01 AM.

05-21-2005, 01:10 PM	#35
DeToxRox Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Michigan	Ask her back to a private chat.

05-22-2005, 01:22 AM	#36
kingnebwsu College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Ohio	The only time I formed an alternate name to ask a question about my romantic life (because some of my friends patrol this board), my thread was shut down. There were like 15 responses, none of which were helpful. That's when I learned not to count on FOFC for serious life advice. BTW, I never got a chance to reply to my original post in that thread (Shrug)

05-22-2005, 05:10 PM	#38
SunDevil College Prospect Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Tempe, AZ	Try the swirl or the pinch.

05-22-2005, 06:49 PM	#43
Schmidty Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Early, TX	Wow. I hadn't even read this thread after SD apparantly posted. Calling a guy socially dysfunctional for no reason? Nice job. I hadn't really had a problem with SD before the past couple of days, but this from a guy who is trying to keep the peace and run the board cleanly? Poor. Maybe that puts my on his hit list, but I just call it the way I see it (same way he claims to). __________________ Just beat the devil out of it!!! - Bob Ross

05-23-2005, 12:16 PM	#44
JimmyWint Mascot Join Date: Oct 2003	Well, I did not have much better luck last weekend, but I managed to lay the foundation for the big close next weekend. I was at a bar that had ladies night, and it just so happened that there was a ratio of like 5:1 women...so that helped my cause! I would say my biggest problem is trying to shed that "nice Guy" image. I think I may go out and get one of those temporary tattoos and see if that helps. Do tattoos still convey the bad boy image? Also, who is SkyDog and why did he call me a troll? I have posted and read posts for a long time now. I was very saddened to be attacked at such a personal level. Perhaps I could let it slide though.

05-23-2005, 12:21 PM	#45
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	The key is timing. Lay low and when the moment presents it's self yell out "Times up. Leroy....Jeeeeeennnnnkkkkkkkkkiiiiiiinnnnnnnssss!" Grab one, throw her in your car and speed away. Works every time. __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

05-23-2005, 12:39 PM	#49
flere-imsaho Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Chicagoland	I think it's important to understand what the opposite of the "nice guy" is. Because it's not the "bad boy". The "nice guy" is the guy who's pleasant, funny, attentive to the woman and, thus, completely a non-challenge to her. When you get into this role, you become the "fall-back" option for the woman. Unless you happen to look like Brad Pitt, she's going to put you in the "fall-back" bracket and keep looking for bigger fish. The opposite of "nice guy", then, is "can take it or leave it guy". He's the guy who's fun, interesting, at least somewhat charismatic, and gives the woman the impression that if he happens to not get her number, it's cool, because he has other options. Recently there was a thread here that devolved into a conversation amongst the married men (myself included) about how we all found ourselves much more attractive to the opposite sex once we got married. Why is this? Take a look at the description for the opposite of "nice guy". Ring any bells? Yeah, we'll talk to women in social settings, we'll be smart & funny, and we're probably at least a little charismatic, but at the end of the day, we don't really care if we get her number. We're a challenge, unattainable, and it drives them nuts. (Note: I've found that once women hit their late 20s, this doesn't apply anymore, so don't anyone view this as a blanket statement). So, my advice: Be yourself, be cool, show enough interest, but not too much, and give the impression that you have everything you need. Best of luck.

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