The Oracle

The Oracle · 05-28-2005, 07:16 AM

Since there are many threads on "Need Advice" I thought I would start a new thing for FOFC for advice ala Dear Abby. I am a longtime forum member, but have started this handle to tackle the woes and concerns of FOFC. Beginning today, you can PM me with a situation in which you need advice. I will answer your PMs on Wednesday, June 1st, in another thread so that other members may comment on my advice to you.

When I post your situation, unless you wish to remain anonymous, I will also post your screen name.

Karlifornia · 05-28-2005, 11:05 AM

Oh, Oracle, why do birds suddenly appear?

Antmeister · 05-28-2005, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RadioFriendlyUnitShifter

Oh, Oracle, why do birds suddenly appear?

Hmmm, are you asking this question because they show up "every time you are near"?
Well the answer is "Just like me, they long to be, close to you".
The Oracle is not the only one to answer this illogical puzzle.

Lorena · 05-28-2005, 02:04 PM

Oracle, should I take the red or blue pill?

Qwikshot · 05-28-2005, 02:59 PM

Do you think Negrodamus could kick your butt?

st.cronin · 05-28-2005, 03:01 PM

Why does it hurt when I pee?
My balls feel like a pair of maracas.

Desnudo · 05-28-2005, 05:44 PM

What makes an ocean wave wave?

Tigercat · 05-28-2005, 05:49 PM

If T.O. holds out in the woods, and no one is around to pay attention, does he eventually show up for training camp?

Julio Riddols · 05-29-2005, 02:38 AM

I so badly wanted to parody this with a thread titled "The Orifice".. but.. Why didn't I do that?

andy m · 05-29-2005, 04:04 AM

because it wouldn't be that funny?

Julio Riddols · 05-29-2005, 05:04 AM

thanks, man, but I can't wait for the oracle's answer to this one.. Though something tells me youre probably thinking the same thing.

Flasch186 · 05-29-2005, 07:26 AM

credentials?

duckman · 05-29-2005, 01:59 PM

There is no spoon.

Karlifornia · 11-12-2005, 07:00 PM

Oracle: When is Solecismic's next game being released?

MJ4H · 11-12-2005, 07:17 PM

GrantDawg · 11-12-2005, 11:54 PM

Has anyone noticed that the Oracle didn't answer a single question? I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!

The Oracle · 11-13-2005, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RadioFriendlyUnitShifter

Oh, Oracle, why do birds suddenly appear?

They are hard to see when they fly out of your ass.

The Oracle · 11-13-2005, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dodgerchick

Oracle, should I take the red or blue pill?

Blue pill.

The Oracle · 11-13-2005, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qwikshot

Do you think Negrodamus could kick your butt?

Definitely not.

The Oracle · 11-13-2005, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

Why does it hurt when I pee?
My balls feel like a pair of maracas.

You need to jerk it or find a good woman, Mr. Blue Balls.

The Oracle · 11-13-2005, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

What makes an ocean wave wave?

The waves wave at people. When people are not there, they do not wave.

The Oracle · 11-13-2005, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tigercat

If T.O. holds out in the woods, and no one is around to pay attention, does he eventually show up for training camp?

Yes, but he may be suspended for at least four games...which will be overturned.

The Oracle · 11-13-2005, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julio Riddols

I so badly wanted to parody this with a thread titled "The Orifice".. but.. Why didn't I do that?

You know that the Gods will mock you and set you up with a hot transvestite if you do.

The Oracle · 11-13-2005, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flasch186

credentials?

I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night and saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

The Oracle · 11-13-2005, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RadioFriendlyUnitShifter

Oracle: When is Solecismic's next game being released?

It will be released when it is done.

The Oracle · 11-13-2005, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrantDawg

Has anyone noticed that the Oracle didn't answer a single question? I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!

This is a free service so you shall receive two cents back.

Raiders Army · 11-13-2005, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Oracle

I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night and saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

Where's the beef?

GrantDawg · 11-13-2005, 02:49 PM

See? Now that's what I'm talking about.

05-28-2005, 11:05 AM	#2
Karlifornia Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: San Jose, CA	Oh, Oracle, why do birds suddenly appear? __________________ Look into the mind of a crazy man (NSFW) http://www.whitepowerupdate.wordpress.com

05-29-2005, 02:38 AM	#9
Julio Riddols College Prospect Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bryson Shitty, NC	I so badly wanted to parody this with a thread titled "The Orifice".. but.. Why didn't I do that? __________________ Recklessly enthused, stubbornly amused. FUCK EA Last edited by Julio Riddols : 05-29-2005 at 02:38 AM.

05-29-2005, 04:04 AM	#10
andy m High School Varsity Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: norwich, UK	because it wouldn't be that funny? __________________ mostly harmless FOFL 2009 champs - Norwich Quagmire

05-29-2005, 05:04 AM	#11
Julio Riddols College Prospect Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bryson Shitty, NC	thanks, man, but I can't wait for the oracle's answer to this one.. Though something tells me youre probably thinking the same thing. __________________ Recklessly enthused, stubbornly amused. FUCK EA

05-29-2005, 07:26 AM	#12
Flasch186 Coordinator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Jacksonville, FL	credentials? __________________ Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL

05-28-2005, 02:04 PM	#4
Lorena Unregistered Join Date: May 2004	Oracle, should I take the red or blue pill?

05-28-2005, 02:59 PM	#5
Qwikshot Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: ...down the gravity well	Do you think Negrodamus could kick your butt?

05-28-2005, 03:01 PM	#6
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	Why does it hurt when I pee? My balls feel like a pair of maracas.

05-28-2005, 05:44 PM	#7
Desnudo Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here and There	What makes an ocean wave wave?

05-28-2005, 05:49 PM	#8
Tigercat College Starter Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Federal Way, WA	If T.O. holds out in the woods, and no one is around to pay attention, does he eventually show up for training camp?

11-12-2005, 07:00 PM	#14
Karlifornia Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: San Jose, CA	Oracle: When is Solecismic's next game being released? __________________ Look into the mind of a crazy man (NSFW) http://www.whitepowerupdate.wordpress.com

11-12-2005, 07:17 PM	#15
MJ4H Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hog Country

11-12-2005, 11:54 PM	#16
GrantDawg World Champion Mis-speller Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Covington, Ga.	Has anyone noticed that the Oracle didn't answer a single question? I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!

11-13-2005, 02:49 PM	#28
GrantDawg World Champion Mis-speller Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Covington, Ga.	See? Now that's what I'm talking about.

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