Debate with my wife

Eaglesfan27 · 08-23-2005, 08:40 PM

She told me to post this debate we were having here. She said I have to post all of the important details to give context. Her grandmother (whom I've become close to over the past 5 years) had her 76th birthday today. We went and visited for about 3 hours in the afternoon. Grandmom didn't want to go out to dinner because she wasn't feeling well (which happens too often unfortunately.) We decided to leave at that point because she was wanting to cook dinner, but we could both tell that was just because she wanted to be a gracious host. We didn't want to have to put her and grandfather through that, particularly since we just had dinner at their place recently.

In any case, we left. As we were driving home, I said "let's stop and get dinner. Where do you want to go?"

We debated for a while and eventually decided the Outback Steakhouse. As we were starting to eat, I noticed a 18-20 year old couple across the aisle to the right of us. They were clearly having an awkward date. I made a comment to the effect of isn't it nice that we don't have to go through that awkward phase anymore. We are having a nice date with good conversation.

She objected vehemently at that point, and made it clear that this wasn't a date in her opinion. I asked her why not, and she replied "Because you didn't ask me out on a date. You asked me out to dinner. We were both hungry and we just decided to stop and get dinner."

WTF? I reminded her that was how I asked her out on dates back when we were dating before we were married. She replied, "That was different. You were courting me back then and it was understood that going to dinner meant a date. It doesn't mean that anymore."

We went through a series of debates about what makes a date for married couples. She threw out ideas such as dressing up. I reminded her when we started dating, I was a poor student and I almost never dressed up. She then said that we had to do something besides just dinner for it to be a date. I reminded her that we were planning on going home and spending "quality time together." She said that didn't make for a date either.

We went through a few more debates which I quite honestly forget (I'm quite glad that she will never read this board but will just expect me to read her the replies tomorrow.) I remember the last one was that it wasn't a date because we had gone out to spend time with her grandmother and that dinner was a spur of the moment thing. I reminded her that several of our past dates had been quite spontaneous. Finally, we came back to the only reason this wasn't a date was because I specifically didn't ask her out on a date. She then said that our last date was our 6th anniversary back in May.

So do you think this was a date? (We have a bet on this, but I'm not allowed to tell what the deciding criteria will be until after it is decided.)

What are the criteria for dinner out to be a date for a married couple?

Buccaneer · 08-23-2005, 08:41 PM

Without reading the post, just say she's right and you are wrong.

Eaglesfan27 · 08-23-2005, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buccaneer

Without reading the post, just say she's right and you are wrong.

Then, I don't win the bet and I really want to win this bet

However, you are probably correct about what I should do.

gottimd · 08-23-2005, 08:46 PM

Well, according to the dictionary:
Date= An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.

According to a wife:
Date=When I say it is a date.

Edit:I wonder how long until a Parody thread shows up of this?

Ksyrup · 08-23-2005, 08:46 PM

I don't think about dating anymore now that I'm married. We don't "date." Perhaps that answers your question indirectly, since we go out to eat at least twice a week on average. With the kids, of course.

Flasch186 · 08-23-2005, 08:48 PM

my GF says that getting dressed up now is one of the denoting factors of a date...the problem is she gets dressed up (makeup and such) while I dont..then what?

Ksyrup · 08-23-2005, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flasch186

my GF says that getting dressed up now is one of the denoting factors of a date...the problem is she gets dressed up (makeup and such) while I dont..then what?

She's dating someone else.

oliegirl · 08-23-2005, 08:49 PM

I would say that a date for a married couple entails previously made plans with a specific destination. I don't think dressing up is a requirement, but a spontaneous dinner out doesn't qualify as a date.

cthomer5000 · 08-23-2005, 08:49 PM

The evening is under review....

**dramatic pause***

No Date! Dinner was incidental, and you would have been dining with grandma had things gone according to the original plan.

hoosierdude · 08-23-2005, 08:50 PM

ANYtime a man and wife go out to dinner without kids or family members, just themselves, it is a date. If you aren't using the groceries to fix the food at the home kitchen, and you have to sit down where someone ELSE feeds you, consider it a date.

Dressed up isn't the be all and end all for "dates". My wife and I have went out in shorts and tshirts and called it a date. A date for your wife may mean something much different, as in the dress up qualifier, but in my book, if I ask a lady to somewhere besides my home for food, it comes down as a date.

YMMV however. Good Luck!

jbmagic · 08-23-2005, 08:51 PM

i dont think this is a date. sorry

your plan was to goto her Grandmother house for here Birthday and take her out to dinner for her Birthday.

you had no plans to take your wife on a date today

gottimd · 08-23-2005, 08:56 PM

What if you go out to dinner with your mistress and your wife?

WSUCougar · 08-23-2005, 08:56 PM

I think it's collateral datage. You're both right.*

*actually, I wouldn't consider your circumstance a date, but my wife might

Psmith · 08-23-2005, 08:58 PM

Hmmm... I would say that since you're spending time together (both in public and at home, ahem), it doesn't really matter what you call it. But obviously your wife feels that she's missing out on something important because you two don't make it special or different somehow when you go out. Sooo, can we just admit that your wife is being perplexing but that you, as a loving if slightly bewildered husband, will adhere to her definition of dating since it makes a difference to her?

This situation reminds me of a quote from an Edith Wharton story I was recently reading: "They had reached the memorable moment in every heart history when, for the first time, the man seems obtuse and the woman irrational."

Of course, that doesn't help with the bet, but it's the best I can give you. And I'm female, by the way, if you think that might make a difference in my viewpoint.

sabotai · 08-23-2005, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

What are the criteria for dinner out to be a date for a married couple?

There is none. Married people do not go on dates.

I guess it's just my perspective, but once you are even at the "going out" or "exclusive" stage of the relationship, it's not longer a "date". "Plans", yes. But to me a "date" is something that two people who are, at the most, "dating" do.

dawgfan · 08-23-2005, 09:02 PM

I'm going to have to side with your wife on this one. Once you're married, to go on a "date" requires that you preface the event or you both agree as the event is unfolding to describe it as such, otherwise it's just assumed to be standard operating procedure of being married.

I don't think a married "date" requires getting dressed-up, but that is often the case - married couples tend to make "dates" events that are out of the ordinary, like going out to a nice meal and then seeing a play/movie/concert, maybe renting a hotel room.

Hurst2112 · 08-23-2005, 09:09 PM

It's a date. You win the bet. Get ready for some good butt sex!

Seriously, I don't think its a date. Just getting something to eat at a whim is somethig that I call 'hangin out with my best friend'.

You don't have to dress up, but a date (in my eyes) between spouses should be planned.

Eaglesfan27 · 08-23-2005, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurst2112

It's a date. You win the bet. Get ready for some good butt sex!

ROFL. Under our agreement, I'm not allowed to try to sway anyone tonight or post in this thread anything substantial. However, THAT is not what this bet is about

Lorena · 08-23-2005, 09:13 PM

Is there such a thing as a "date" after you get married? When the Antman and I go out, that's what we're doing... GOING OUT, not dating. Dating is when you go out with someone to get to know them.

Just a chick's point of view, but then again, I'm not the "ordinary" type of chick.

Maple Leafs · 08-23-2005, 09:15 PM

No, it's not a date.

No, it makes absolutely no sense for her to make any sort of issue out of this.

oliegirl · 08-23-2005, 09:17 PM

How many posts are needed until a final decision is made and we can find out the results of the bet?

Eaglesfan27 · 08-23-2005, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oliegirl

How many posts are needed until a final decision is made and we can find out the results of the bet?

It's not a set number. The time frame was until noon tomorrow. Any comments after that don't count. Also, there is a weighting of posts, but I'm not supposed to discuss the specifics of that either. Mrs. Eaglesfan is asleep already, so I can't even discuss with her if I should be posting this, but oh well.

MJ4H · 08-23-2005, 09:23 PM

DATE. FINAL ANSWER.

Draft Dodger · 08-23-2005, 09:25 PM

date. no question.

oliegirl · 08-23-2005, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

It's not a set number. The time frame was until noon tomorrow. Any comments after that don't count. Also, there is a weighting of posts, but I'm not supposed to discuss the specifics of that either. Mrs. Eaglesfan is asleep already, so I can't even discuss with her if I should be posting this, but oh well.

Dude - you are SO whipped!

saldana · 08-23-2005, 09:29 PM

being married for 4+ years, i would have to say what you had was not a date. what qualifies for my wife and i as a date involves pre-planning the time and day, and the place. stopping at randomly selected places while we are out doing something else is just a substitue for cooking our own dinner. dressing up is not a requirement, but the premeditation of the evenings' event are what sets one from the other....advantage...your wife.

Farrah Whitworth-Rahn · 08-23-2005, 09:33 PM

Not a date. Don't argue with me or I'll throw something.

Hormones. Baby made me say that

CamEdwards · 08-23-2005, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

ROFL. Under our agreement, I'm not allowed to try to sway anyone tonight or post in this thread anything substantial. However, THAT is not what this bet is about

If that's not what the bet is about, then why the heck does the bet even matter?

Noop · 08-23-2005, 09:33 PM

If a married guy gets a blowjob from his wife is it taboo to brag to his buddies that he got some head? And to answer the question it is a date.

Lathum · 08-23-2005, 09:33 PM

no date, all you were doing was fulfilling a mutual need. It is no different then if you were with your sister or mother. You were hungry so you stopped and ate.

Tigercat · 08-23-2005, 09:38 PM

If two random people are out together and one doesn't think its a date its not a date. The opposite is true upon marriage, however. (You know part of the whole union thing.) If one of you feels its a date, its a date for you both. So your own opinion on the matter seals it in my mind. I say date.

Yellow5 · 08-23-2005, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hoosierdude

ANYtime a man and wife go out to dinner without kids or family members, just themselves, it is a date. If you aren't using the groceries to fix the food at the home kitchen, and you have to sit down where someone ELSE feeds you, consider it a date.

I'm with you on this one. We have two kids and it's rare that we get a chance to go out and have dinner together. When we do, we refer to it as a "date" planned or not.

We define a "date" as any quality time together without the kids. Dinner, movie, trip to the ice cream shop, whatever...

JonInMiddleGA · 08-23-2005, 09:42 PM

Two votes here, mine & my wife's.

Oddly enough, I'd have to go with a narrow not-a-date. I think it passes all the reasonable tests except that it was a little too accidental in nature. I think if you're sitting at home & say "wanna go to Outback", that counts. In this case, it just doesn't strike me a deal that says "it's a date".

My wife, on the other hand, had a very quick & simple "yes, it was definitely a date".
She said as far as she's concerned, any time she's out with me alone (i.e. sans child) doing pretty much anything, that's a date to her.

So, 1 yes & 1 no, neatly cancelling each other out.

sterlingice · 08-23-2005, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cthomer5000

The evening is under review....

**dramatic pause***

No Date! Dinner was incidental, and you would have been dining with grandma had things gone according to the original plan.

Genius!

SI

Dutch · 08-23-2005, 09:48 PM

For the love of God, if you know what is good for you....just admit you are wrong.

Buzzbee · 08-23-2005, 09:49 PM

Definitely not a date. There was no effort to make this particular meal special in any way. If you had eaten at McDonalds would you still have considered it a date? If not, then your criteria of a date depends on the quality or price of the food and is totally independent of your companion. If so, then is any meal at McDonalds alone with your wife a date? Or would it have to be part of a 'road trip' to be considered a date?

To me, a date between a married couple is an event where the sole purpose is for the couple to spend time together and is outside the realm of normal activity.

I think your 'date' fails on both counts. The purpose of your meal wasn't to spend time together. The purpose of the trip was to see grandmom on her birthday. Eating dinner (presumably at dinner time) on the way home from a trip isn't outside the realm of normal activity. If you rarely eat at Outback, and then only on special occasions then it might qualify as being outside the realm of normal activity, but would fail the purpose test.

Just my $0.02.

sterlingice · 08-23-2005, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buccaneer

Without reading the post, just say she's right and you are wrong.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dutch

For the love of God, if you know what is good for you....just admit you are wrong.

This is a mentality that just drives me up a wall. And none of the girls are saying it, the guys just sit there and perpetuate it over and over. *sigh* (and I'm sure this will just be followed by a response something to the effect of "he's young, he'll learn" and a complete talking down to)

SI

Celeval · 08-23-2005, 09:51 PM

My wife and I talked about this a bit and came up generally agreeing. There are a number of factors that can make something a date - you don't necessarily have to have all of them, and many times just one will do. We came up with two major ones.

- Romance, either during the time out naturally, or the intent for romance. If you're out to eat, not really planning anything, but spend most of the evening in nice conversation, holding hands; or your evening jog/walk together turns left and ends up walking down the beach, then that's a date. If the intent for romance is there from the start, but the night flops and isn't romantic in the slightest, it still qualifies (but is just a bad date).

- Something out of the ordinary. Do you usually go to Outback? Or is it something that is pretty regular - every week or two? An example for us - if we were in the same situation and ended up going by Eggspectation (a good place that we eat at pretty often), probably not a date. If we say "Ya know, let's go to Maggiano's", then it's basically a date.

Thoughts?

Celeval · 08-23-2005, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buzzbee

The purpose of your meal wasn't to spend time together. The purpose of the trip was to see grandmom on her birthday. Eating dinner (presumably at dinner time) on the way home from a trip isn't outside the realm of normal activity. If you rarely eat at Outback, and then only on special occasions then it might qualify as being outside the realm of normal activity, but would fail the purpose test.

But the trip to see Grandma is separate from the trip to Outback. If my wife came and picked me up from work, and on the way home we saw a movie and dinner, it'd be a date regardless of the source of the travel.

I agree on the second part - if Outback is standard operating procedure, then no big deal. If it's someplace maybe you haven't been for a while, it is. Doesn't even have to be special occasions only, imho; just out of the ordinary.

Ksyrup · 08-23-2005, 09:57 PM

We've got to find a babysitter...

Pumpy Tudors · 08-23-2005, 09:57 PM

Every time my wife and I do go out and do something that's not essentially a household chore, we consider it a date. If we go to a hockey game, it's a date. If we go to the casino (well, when we lived someplace that has casinos), it's a date. If we go out to eat, it's a date. If we go to Target, we are buying things for the house, and it is therefore not a date.

I should say that the above is my definition of a date. She might think that going to Target is a date, in which case I would say that she is a fucking loon.

Eaglesfan27 · 08-23-2005, 09:57 PM

There are a huge variety of places to eat in New Orleans, and I would say we go to the Outback maybe once a year. We have a few places that are for our most romantic dates, such as anniversaries (those places are Commander's Palace, Antoine's, and a few others.)

Also, the thing that is really bothering me is that she doesn't think we've been on ANY dates since our anniversary. Two weeks ago, during her vacation time, we specifically went out to dinner several times, we held hands, gazed into each other's eyes, came home and spent quality time together (also went to a show one night.) Weren't any of those nights a date? She seems to think none of those nights were a date according to her side of the debate tonight, since I didn't use the syntax that she wants and specifically ask her out for a "date"!?!

I really was going to hold my tongue til tomorrow regarding that, but oh well. It looks like I'm already losing horribly anyway, and I doubt this will really sway you all from the specific issue of tonight.

vtbub · 08-23-2005, 10:02 PM

No date.

Dressing up, drinking and fine dining are date requirements.

In my wife's case, Japanese food too.

houle · 08-23-2005, 10:05 PM

If during your "quality time" you find yourself munching on something then its a date. And therein may be the answer as to why your wife doesn't think you've been on a date in forever.

Schmidty · 08-23-2005, 10:06 PM

I wish this was a debate by a New Englander and his Wife about "Mass".

Eaglesfan27 · 08-23-2005, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by houle

If during your "quality time" you find yourself munching on something then its a date. And therein may be the answer as to why your wife doesn't think you've been on a date in forever.

No, that has not been an issue. We have a wide variety of things that we do during our "quality time."

Except for tonight when she had a headache (a real one, I believe.) Our debate was quite jovial.

vtbub · 08-23-2005, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schmidty

I wish this was a debate by a New Englander and his Wife about "Mass".

I'm a New Englander, and I can't argue about my wife's mass.

Dutch · 08-23-2005, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sterlingice

This is a mentality that just drives me up a wall. And none of the girls are saying it, the guys just sit there and perpetuate it over and over. *sigh* (and I'm sure this will just be followed by a response something to the effect of "he's young, he'll learn" and a complete talking down to)

SI

It was not meant designed to drive you up a wall, but just a joke to make ya smile, but your still young, you'll learn.

Eaglesfan27 · 08-23-2005, 10:11 PM

I'm also starting to think that I had too much wine tonight, and I better go to sleep soon before I post something I regret.

(EDIT: To clarify, we drank wine at home, well we opened a bottle and she had a glass before her headache got too much worse. I've since finished off a good portion of the bottle. We didn't drink wine at the Outback.)

sterlingice · 08-23-2005, 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dutch

It was not meant designed to drive you up a wall, but just a joke to make ya smile, but your still young, you'll learn.

Sorry, my sarcasm meter always seems to miss the mark online. Still, I see a lot of people say stuff like that who are serious.

SI

08-23-2005, 08:46 PM	#4
gottimd Dearly Missed (9/25/77-12/23/08) Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: DC Suburbs	Well, according to the dictionary: Date= An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest. According to a wife: Date=When I say it is a date. Edit:I wonder how long until a Parody thread shows up of this? __________________ NAFL New Orleans Saints GM/Co-Commish MP Career Record: 114-85 NAFL Super Bowl XI Champs In memory of Gavin Anthony: 7/22/08-7/26/08 Last edited by gottimd : 08-23-2005 at 08:48 PM.

08-23-2005, 08:46 PM	#5
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	I don't think about dating anymore now that I'm married. We don't "date." Perhaps that answers your question indirectly, since we go out to eat at least twice a week on average. With the kids, of course. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

08-23-2005, 08:48 PM	#6
Flasch186 Coordinator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Jacksonville, FL	my GF says that getting dressed up now is one of the denoting factors of a date...the problem is she gets dressed up (makeup and such) while I dont..then what? __________________ Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL

08-23-2005, 08:50 PM	#10
hoosierdude High School Varsity Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Great Lakes	ANYtime a man and wife go out to dinner without kids or family members, just themselves, it is a date. If you aren't using the groceries to fix the food at the home kitchen, and you have to sit down where someone ELSE feeds you, consider it a date. Dressed up isn't the be all and end all for "dates". My wife and I have went out in shorts and tshirts and called it a date. A date for your wife may mean something much different, as in the dress up qualifier, but in my book, if I ask a lady to somewhere besides my home for food, it comes down as a date. YMMV however. Good Luck! __________________ TC Dale Last edited by hoosierdude : 08-23-2005 at 08:51 PM.

08-23-2005, 08:56 PM	#12
gottimd Dearly Missed (9/25/77-12/23/08) Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: DC Suburbs	What if you go out to dinner with your mistress and your wife? __________________ NAFL New Orleans Saints GM/Co-Commish MP Career Record: 114-85 NAFL Super Bowl XI Champs In memory of Gavin Anthony: 7/22/08-7/26/08

08-23-2005, 08:41 PM	#2
Buccaneer Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Colorado	Without reading the post, just say she's right and you are wrong.

08-23-2005, 08:51 PM	#11
jbmagic Pro Starter Join Date: Apr 2004	i dont think this is a date. sorry your plan was to goto her Grandmother house for here Birthday and take her out to dinner for her Birthday. you had no plans to take your wife on a date today

08-23-2005, 08:56 PM	#13
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	I think it's collateral datage. You're both right.* *actually, I wouldn't consider your circumstance a date, but my wife might __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

08-23-2005, 08:58 PM	#14
Psmith n00b Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Scranton	Hmmm... I would say that since you're spending time together (both in public and at home, ahem), it doesn't really matter what you call it. But obviously your wife feels that she's missing out on something important because you two don't make it special or different somehow when you go out. Sooo, can we just admit that your wife is being perplexing but that you, as a loving if slightly bewildered husband, will adhere to her definition of dating since it makes a difference to her? This situation reminds me of a quote from an Edith Wharton story I was recently reading: "They had reached the memorable moment in every heart history when, for the first time, the man seems obtuse and the woman irrational." Of course, that doesn't help with the bet, but it's the best I can give you. And I'm female, by the way, if you think that might make a difference in my viewpoint. __________________ I've been good and I've been bad, but common sense I've never had.

08-23-2005, 09:02 PM	#16
dawgfan Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Seattle	I'm going to have to side with your wife on this one. Once you're married, to go on a "date" requires that you preface the event or you both agree as the event is unfolding to describe it as such, otherwise it's just assumed to be standard operating procedure of being married. I don't think a married "date" requires getting dressed-up, but that is often the case - married couples tend to make "dates" events that are out of the ordinary, like going out to a nice meal and then seeing a play/movie/concert, maybe renting a hotel room.

08-23-2005, 09:09 PM	#17
Hurst2112 College Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Minneapolis	It's a date. You win the bet. Get ready for some good butt sex! Seriously, I don't think its a date. Just getting something to eat at a whim is somethig that I call 'hangin out with my best friend'. You don't have to dress up, but a date (in my eyes) between spouses should be planned. __________________ http://www.myspace.com/longliveanalog

08-23-2005, 09:13 PM	#19
Lorena Unregistered Join Date: May 2004	Is there such a thing as a "date" after you get married? When the Antman and I go out, that's what we're doing... GOING OUT, not dating. Dating is when you go out with someone to get to know them. Just a chick's point of view, but then again, I'm not the "ordinary" type of chick.

08-23-2005, 09:15 PM	#20
Maple Leafs Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002	No, it's not a date. No, it makes absolutely no sense for her to make any sort of issue out of this. __________________ Down Goes Brown: Toronto Maple Leafs Humor and Analysis

08-23-2005, 09:23 PM	#23
MJ4H Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hog Country	DATE. FINAL ANSWER.

08-23-2005, 09:25 PM	#24
Draft Dodger Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Keene, NH	date. no question. __________________ Mile High Hockey

08-23-2005, 09:29 PM	#26
saldana Pro Starter Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Bethlehem, Pa	being married for 4+ years, i would have to say what you had was not a date. what qualifies for my wife and i as a date involves pre-planning the time and day, and the place. stopping at randomly selected places while we are out doing something else is just a substitue for cooking our own dinner. dressing up is not a requirement, but the premeditation of the evenings' event are what sets one from the other....advantage...your wife.

08-23-2005, 09:33 PM	#27
Farrah Whitworth-Rahn Red-Headed Vixen Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Phoenix, AZ	Not a date. Don't argue with me or I'll throw something. Hormones. Baby made me say that

08-23-2005, 09:33 PM	#29
Noop Bonafide Seminole Fan Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Florida	If a married guy gets a blowjob from his wife is it taboo to brag to his buddies that he got some head? And to answer the question it is a date. __________________ Living in an Oligarchy.

08-23-2005, 09:33 PM	#30
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	no date, all you were doing was fulfilling a mutual need. It is no different then if you were with your sister or mother. You were hungry so you stopped and ate. Last edited by Lathum : 08-23-2005 at 09:34 PM.

08-23-2005, 09:38 PM	#31
Tigercat College Starter Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Federal Way, WA	If two random people are out together and one doesn't think its a date its not a date. The opposite is true upon marriage, however. (You know part of the whole union thing.) If one of you feels its a date, its a date for you both. So your own opinion on the matter seals it in my mind. I say date.

08-23-2005, 09:42 PM	#33
JonInMiddleGA Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA	Two votes here, mine & my wife's. Oddly enough, I'd have to go with a narrow not-a-date. I think it passes all the reasonable tests except that it was a little too accidental in nature. I think if you're sitting at home & say "wanna go to Outback", that counts. In this case, it just doesn't strike me a deal that says "it's a date". My wife, on the other hand, had a very quick & simple "yes, it was definitely a date". She said as far as she's concerned, any time she's out with me alone (i.e. sans child) doing pretty much anything, that's a date to her. So, 1 yes & 1 no, neatly cancelling each other out. __________________ "I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis

08-23-2005, 09:48 PM	#35
Dutch "Dutch" Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Tampa, FL	For the love of God, if you know what is good for you....just admit you are wrong.

08-23-2005, 09:49 PM	#36
Buzzbee College Starter Join Date: Jun 2002	Definitely not a date. There was no effort to make this particular meal special in any way. If you had eaten at McDonalds would you still have considered it a date? If not, then your criteria of a date depends on the quality or price of the food and is totally independent of your companion. If so, then is any meal at McDonalds alone with your wife a date? Or would it have to be part of a 'road trip' to be considered a date? To me, a date between a married couple is an event where the sole purpose is for the couple to spend time together and is outside the realm of normal activity. I think your 'date' fails on both counts. The purpose of your meal wasn't to spend time together. The purpose of the trip was to see grandmom on her birthday. Eating dinner (presumably at dinner time) on the way home from a trip isn't outside the realm of normal activity. If you rarely eat at Outback, and then only on special occasions then it might qualify as being outside the realm of normal activity, but would fail the purpose test. Just my $0.02. __________________ Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. - Lou Holtz

08-23-2005, 09:51 PM	#38
Celeval Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Cary, NC, USA	My wife and I talked about this a bit and came up generally agreeing. There are a number of factors that can make something a date - you don't necessarily have to have all of them, and many times just one will do. We came up with two major ones. - Romance, either during the time out naturally, or the intent for romance. If you're out to eat, not really planning anything, but spend most of the evening in nice conversation, holding hands; or your evening jog/walk together turns left and ends up walking down the beach, then that's a date. If the intent for romance is there from the start, but the night flops and isn't romantic in the slightest, it still qualifies (but is just a bad date). - Something out of the ordinary. Do you usually go to Outback? Or is it something that is pretty regular - every week or two? An example for us - if we were in the same situation and ended up going by Eggspectation (a good place that we eat at pretty often), probably not a date. If we say "Ya know, let's go to Maggiano's", then it's basically a date. Thoughts?

08-23-2005, 09:57 PM	#40
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	We've got to find a babysitter... __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

08-23-2005, 09:57 PM	#41
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	Every time my wife and I do go out and do something that's not essentially a household chore, we consider it a date. If we go to a hockey game, it's a date. If we go to the casino (well, when we lived someplace that has casinos), it's a date. If we go out to eat, it's a date. If we go to Target, we are buying things for the house, and it is therefore not a date. I should say that the above is my definition of a date. She might think that going to Target is a date, in which case I would say that she is a fucking loon. __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor. Last edited by Pumpy Tudors : 08-23-2005 at 09:58 PM.

08-23-2005, 09:57 PM	#42
Eaglesfan27 Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: New Jersey	There are a huge variety of places to eat in New Orleans, and I would say we go to the Outback maybe once a year. We have a few places that are for our most romantic dates, such as anniversaries (those places are Commander's Palace, Antoine's, and a few others.) Also, the thing that is really bothering me is that she doesn't think we've been on ANY dates since our anniversary. Two weeks ago, during her vacation time, we specifically went out to dinner several times, we held hands, gazed into each other's eyes, came home and spent quality time together (also went to a show one night.) Weren't any of those nights a date? She seems to think none of those nights were a date according to her side of the debate tonight, since I didn't use the syntax that she wants and specifically ask her out for a "date"!?! I really was going to hold my tongue til tomorrow regarding that, but oh well. It looks like I'm already losing horribly anyway, and I doubt this will really sway you all from the specific issue of tonight. __________________ Retired GM of the eNFL 2007 Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles (19-0 record.) GM of the WOOF 2006 Doggie Bowl Champion Atlantic City Gamblers. GM of the IHOF 2019 and 2022 IHOF Bowl Champion Asheville Axemen. Last edited by Eaglesfan27 : 08-23-2005 at 10:00 PM.

08-23-2005, 10:02 PM	#43
vtbub College Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burlington, VT USA	No date. Dressing up, drinking and fine dining are date requirements. In my wife's case, Japanese food too. __________________

08-23-2005, 10:05 PM	#44
houle n00b Join Date: Aug 2005	If during your "quality time" you find yourself munching on something then its a date. And therein may be the answer as to why your wife doesn't think you've been on a date in forever.

08-23-2005, 10:06 PM	#45
Schmidty Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Early, TX	I wish this was a debate by a New Englander and his Wife about "Mass". __________________ Just beat the devil out of it!!! - Bob Ross

08-23-2005, 10:11 PM	#49
Eaglesfan27 Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: New Jersey	I'm also starting to think that I had too much wine tonight, and I better go to sleep soon before I post something I regret. (EDIT: To clarify, we drank wine at home, well we opened a bottle and she had a glass before her headache got too much worse. I've since finished off a good portion of the bottle. We didn't drink wine at the Outback.) __________________ Retired GM of the eNFL 2007 Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles (19-0 record.) GM of the WOOF 2006 Doggie Bowl Champion Atlantic City Gamblers. GM of the IHOF 2019 and 2022 IHOF Bowl Champion Asheville Axemen. Last edited by Eaglesfan27 : 08-23-2005 at 10:13 PM.

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