Celebrity Hot or Not, Volume 1: Angelina Jolie! A Recap

[Honolulu_Blue]

A week ago Kodos started his first in what appears to be a running series of Celebrity Hot or Not polls. This inaugural poll concerned the hotness of one Angelina Jolie. Well, the polls are closed and the votes have been tallied. Let's take a closer look, shall we?

172 FOFCers participated in this poll. 135 (78.49%) voted Ms. Jolie to be "Hot", while 37 (21.51%) alleged Ms. Jolie to be "Not."

Let's now take a closer look at this list of 37, this modern day rogue's gallery.

List of People Who Are Insane (or perhaps blind or have bad taste or don't like women or have some other issue):

1. Kodos (Not surprising here. Not enough slobber or tentacles for our resident alien)
2. Butter of 69 (a good man, but no taste in women or universities. He is clearly not right... in the head)
3. Ksyrup (too obsessed with music and too knowledgeable on the subject to have a decent opinion on anything else)
4. I. J. Reily (this guy went to Oregon State, but apparently he wouldn't know a hot beaver if it bit him in the ass)
5. raf105 (I think this guy spends too much time playing sports sims to know enough about women)
6. pennywiseb (Parents: this is what happens when your children play one too many games of Werewolf. You have been warned)
7. Farrah Whitworth-Rahn (It is not love that is blind, but jealousy. ~Lawrence Durrell, Justine, 1957)
8. amdaily (also voted for George W. Bush, so he's clearly not right... in the head)
9. Klinglerware (David Klingler + Andre Ware. 'Nuff said.)
10. sachmo71 (sachmo *sighs* sachmo, sachmo, sachmo... *sighs and shakes head* one too many Trout in the rectum, I fear)
11. Godzilla Blitz (should stick to writing X-Com dynasty threads)
12. MattJones4Heisman (apparently one's assessment of potential Heisman trophy winners is linked to one's assessment of hotness... Who knew?)
13. Johnny93g (we now have incontrovertable evidence that being a Leafs fan can cause serious mental illness)
14. Path12 (he doesn't think Rachel Ray is hot. He doesn't think Angelina Jolie is hot. I think this guy just doesn't like women. Not that there's anything wrong with that!)
15. Racer (I now understand why this guy was playing in a fantasy football league where someone dropped Matt Hasselbeck to pick up Jake Plummer)
16. Galaxy (this from the man who started a thread entitled "The Importance of Physical Beauty". Isn't it ironic, don't ya think?)
17. Flasch186 (I'm sure this has something to do with 3R, GF, BF, BFF, MIG, KTT, TPG, UTC and the rest of them. Perhaps flere can draw us up a diagram at some point)
18. Warhammer (he is as confused about the hotness of women as he is about gameplans and position switches in FOF)
19. cwilloughby (we now realize why he was taking that class with that television uses and gratifications survey)
20. mtolson (stick to critiquing NFL uniforms and leave ciritquing the ladies to us (well, us meaning those not on this list of shame))
21. JonInMiddleGA (Ladies and gentlemen, we now have incontrovertable proof that Angelina Jolie is, without a scintilla of any doubt, hot)
22. rkmsuf (this little blue fella apparently only has eyes for Markie Post or smurfette)
23. dangarion (started a thread called "Bill Gates is a Sexay Beast." So Bill Gates is "sexay" and Angelina Jolie is not hot? Just wanted to get that clarified)
24. Desnudo (Wait a second, this from a man who once said about Angelina Jolie in a similar thread: "If I was picking on that picture alone, it'd be Jolie in a heartbeat. Bark like a dog! Yes ma'am!" What happened? Early alzheimer's setting in or some sort of foul play?)
25. Samifan (Those Post Grad Blues must have affected him more deeply than he could have ever imagined. Also, he's a Sami Kapanen fan. Sami. Kapanen.)
26. Greyroofoo (when asked why he voted "Not" Mr. Greyroofoo said "aal i know is that you can't count on anybody but yourself, wow, I'm so frickub wasted n right about now!")
27. Buccaneer (your sense of reality would be a little distorted too if you were an old man who spent countless hours day and night huddled in your basement watching grainy Betamax re-runs of "The Wonder Years" and Angie Harmon-era "Law & Order" episodes)
28. cthomer5000 (He said this about Linda Cohn (yes, that Linda Cohn) "I'd hit it." Linda Cohn he'd hit, Angelina Jolie is not hot. Whatever floats your boat, Scarlet Knight)
29. George W. Bush (see supra ## 8, 21)
30. GoCanes (apparently this guy is a "Dodger, NY Ranger, Titan and Laker fan". He apparently uses a similar system determining hotness as he does in determining which sports team he's a fan of)
31. graygoosetwelve (Someone once said that "Back Door Sluts ... [s]tarted to get repetitive around XII. Apparently graygooses are like the "Back Door Sluts" series, they started going down hill around XII)
32. Voo (big Dreamcast fan here. How's that working out for you?)
33. Axxon (this guy is a "huge" Harry Belafonte fan. So, let's ask Mr. Belafonte his opinion of Angelina Jolie. Harry? "Now I've courted many a girl. I've been in ports all around the world, but my rambling days are done I've been from Curacao up to Tokyo And I've found there's only one: And she is Angelina, Angelina..."
34. Easy Mac (Let's be honest, I don't think he ever truly recovered his wits after his rommate put that "PLEASE do not lower it past 70. THANK YOU" sign on the thermostat)
35. WVUFan (obviously he voted "not" because this guy just wants everyone to be on a level playing field, this way if someone thinks Rosie O'Donnell is hot they are on equal footing with someone who actually knows what "hot" means)
36. GoSeahawks (this vote has a lot in common with Hasselbeck's famous OT quote in that playoff game in Green Bay: "We want the ball, and we're gonna score!" Both are horribly wrong and even a bit stupid)
37. Castlerock (this guy once said "I love college hockey but the NHL holds zero interest. Yawn." His judgment has not improved since then)

[Pumpy Tudors]

Genius!

[cthomer5000]

Me, Linda Cohn, a hot-tub and some football highlights.... why not?

[WSUCougar]

Originally Posted by cthomer5000

Me, Linda Cohn, a hot-tub and some football highlights.... why not?

You forgot to add a bucket of oats.

[MJ4H]

Man, you people's obsession with this butterface is truly impressive.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Originally Posted by MattJones4Heisman

Man, my obsession with a mediocre college quarterback cum NFL wide receiver is truly impressive.

Fixed.

[duckman]

Originally Posted by WSUCougar

You forgot to add a bucket of oats.

A green apple and some sugar cubes.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Originally Posted by MattJones4Heisman

[IMG]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y25...nian14/fyp.jpg[/IMG]

Heh!!

[Desnudo]

Did you write that list while sitting in a van outside her estate?

[MJ4H]

Originally Posted by Honolulu_Blue

Fixed.

Man this thing is really screwing with my posts

[Ksyrup]

The fact that this list reached as high as 37 pretty much erases any of its intended effect. Nice try, but that's an awful lot of people.

You can transfer me to your Anna K list, though.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Originally Posted by Desnudo

Did you write that list while sitting in a van outside her estate?

Yes. But it wasn't just any van, it was Teri Hatcher's sex van.

[samifan24]

Awesome.

[Kodos]

Copyright violation. Please delete this thread immediately or face legal action.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Originally Posted by Kodos

Copyright violation. Please delete this thread immediately or face legal action.

The "fair use" exemption to (U.S.) copyright law was created to allow things such as commentary, parody, news reporting, research and education about copyrighted works without the permission of the author.

I claim the "fair use" exemption. My attorneys will be filing their Rule 11 motions for sanctions shortly.

Good day, sir.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

I'm proud to stand with Bucc and Flasch on this issue.