Help with Resume

DanGarion · 01-26-2006, 10:51 PM

I'm going to be applying for a internal job here at my company as Director of Security. Basically handling investigation and prevention of cable theft and working with law enforcement. Handling reports and such. It's a newer position and not really something I'm currently involved in. This is something I know I can do if I'm given the chance, but would be a career move since I'm really a tech head / computer support guy. I've always been good with details, researching, investigating, numbers and that sort of thing so I want to try and get my resume to look atleast somewhat decent.

If anyone has a chance could you look over my current resume and give me some suggestions or help? This thing would be much better if I was applying for my current field, but this is something new. Fortunately this is an internal bid so they tend to be forgiving and like to get information via interviews, but it's always good to make a good first impression.

http://www.dangarion.com/files/resumebid.htm

Thanks in advance.

stevew · 01-26-2006, 10:53 PM

I thought your last name was Garion?

DanGarion · 01-26-2006, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew

I thought your last name was Garion?

No Garion is a character from books by David Eddings.

Desnudo · 01-27-2006, 02:35 AM

Initial impression - focus the resume on the job you want, not your current experience. Try and highlight accomplishments and performance, not job duties. Use bullet points for specific examples, that first experience paragraph is too long and hard to read. I would recommend having someone else work with you to review and revise it. Good luck.

Farrah Whitworth-Rahn · 01-27-2006, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

Initial impression - focus the resume on the job you want, not your current experience. Try and highlight accomplishments and performance, not job duties. Use bullet points for specific examples, that first experience paragraph is too long and hard to read. I would recommend having someone else work with you to review and revise it. Good luck.

Ditto on the bullet points. I wouldn't/didn't read that whole big paragraph. It's just too long.

tarcone · 01-27-2006, 10:09 AM

really need to focus your resume into what job you want and make it a highlight reel of your experience, education....etc. (bullet points previously mentioned). A cover letter is where you want to express interest in the job and can be a little more wordy.
I suggest you go to the library or a book store and get a resume writing book, it may even have a sampl resume for the job you are targeting

vtbub · 01-27-2006, 10:14 AM

Shorten that monster paragrah. In your objectives, layout your strengths for that position. Are you submitting a cover letter too?

JPhillips · 01-27-2006, 10:16 AM

I recommend doing web searches for other resumes in your field. It helps a lot to see how other people put their resumes together.

DanGarion · 01-27-2006, 12:00 PM

Thanks everyone. No cover letter is being supplied, since it's not really typical to include them on our internal job bids.

DanGarion · 01-04-2007, 09:58 AM

So I actually never ended up applying for that position. But I have no finally did an edit to my resume. This time I am applying for a internal job here at my company for a Trainer position.

http://www.dangarion.com/files/training%20resume.htm

I really feel this is a vast improvement from my old resume.

stevew · 01-04-2007, 10:01 AM

You forgot to include the part about how you lead two generations of Torres' to pitching greatness in the RWBL

DanGarion · 01-04-2007, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew

You forgot to include the part about how you lead two generations of Torres' to pitching greatness in the RWBL

True I'll have to add that right now...

KevinNU7 · 01-04-2007, 10:07 AM

There is no date on your time at Junior College

DanGarion · 01-04-2007, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KevinNU7

There is no date on your time at Junior College

Good catch. I'll have to fix that.

MacroGuru · 01-04-2007, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dangarion

So I actually never ended up applying for that position. But I have no finally did an edit to my resume. This time I am applying for a internal job here at my company for a Trainer position.

http://www.dangarion.com/files/training%20resume.htm

I really feel this is a vast improvement from my old resume.

You willing to travel for weeks at a time? What pay range are you looking for? PM me...

DanGarion · 01-04-2007, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

You willing to travel for weeks at a time? What pay range are you looking for? PM me...

I PM'd you.

Pumpy Tudors · 01-04-2007, 11:24 AM

MacroGuru may have another recruit, it seems. Hey, MacroGuru, any room for a coal floozy?!?

MacroGuru · 01-04-2007, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

MacroGuru may have another recruit, it seems. Hey, MacroGuru, any room for a coal floozy?!?

LOL...can the Coal Floozy talk to the general public? Willing to promote technology regardless of bias? Willing to be on the road 6+ weeks at the time?

If so....yes I do....

DanGarion · 01-23-2007, 01:20 PM

I got the job offer!

I haven't accepted it yet, need to talk to the wife tonight, but I'm pretty much set to move over.

Thanks for everyone that offered input on my resume.

wade moore · 01-23-2007, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dangarion

I got the job offer!

I haven't accepted it yet, need to talk to the wife tonight, but I'm pretty much set to move over.

Thanks for everyone that offered input on my resume.

Congratulations!

01-27-2006, 10:14 AM	#7
vtbub College Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burlington, VT USA	Shorten that monster paragrah. In your objectives, layout your strengths for that position. Are you submitting a cover letter too? __________________

01-27-2006, 10:16 AM	#8
JPhillips Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Newburgh, NY	I recommend doing web searches for other resumes in your field. It helps a lot to see how other people put their resumes together. __________________ To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers

01-27-2006, 12:00 PM	#9
DanGarion Coordinator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: PNW	Thanks everyone. No cover letter is being supplied, since it's not really typical to include them on our internal job bids. __________________ Los Angeles Dodgers Check out the FOFC Groups on Facebook! and Reddit! DON'T REPORT ME BRO!

01-04-2007, 09:58 AM	#10
DanGarion Coordinator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: PNW	So I actually never ended up applying for that position. But I have no finally did an edit to my resume. This time I am applying for a internal job here at my company for a Trainer position. http://www.dangarion.com/files/training%20resume.htm I really feel this is a vast improvement from my old resume. __________________ Los Angeles Dodgers Check out the FOFC Groups on Facebook! and Reddit! DON'T REPORT ME BRO!

01-04-2007, 10:07 AM	#13
KevinNU7 College Starter Join Date: May 2003 Location: Beantown	There is no date on your time at Junior College __________________ Boston Bashers - III.14 - (8347)

01-26-2006, 10:53 PM	#2
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	I thought your last name was Garion?

01-27-2006, 02:35 AM	#4
Desnudo Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here and There	Initial impression - focus the resume on the job you want, not your current experience. Try and highlight accomplishments and performance, not job duties. Use bullet points for specific examples, that first experience paragraph is too long and hard to read. I would recommend having someone else work with you to review and revise it. Good luck.

01-27-2006, 10:09 AM	#6
tarcone Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Pacific	really need to focus your resume into what job you want and make it a highlight reel of your experience, education....etc. (bullet points previously mentioned). A cover letter is where you want to express interest in the job and can be a little more wordy. I suggest you go to the library or a book store and get a resume writing book, it may even have a sampl resume for the job you are targeting

01-04-2007, 10:01 AM	#11
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	You forgot to include the part about how you lead two generations of Torres' to pitching greatness in the RWBL

01-04-2007, 11:24 AM	#17
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	MacroGuru may have another recruit, it seems. Hey, MacroGuru, any room for a coal floozy?!? __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.

01-23-2007, 01:20 PM	#19
DanGarion Coordinator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: PNW	I got the job offer! I haven't accepted it yet, need to talk to the wife tonight, but I'm pretty much set to move over. Thanks for everyone that offered input on my resume. __________________ Los Angeles Dodgers Check out the FOFC Groups on Facebook! and Reddit! DON'T REPORT ME BRO!

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