You gotta break a few eggs...

[QuikSand]

Omelets (or omelettes, if you prefer*)

Okay, here's the thing. I like a tasty omelet as much as the next guy, maybe a lot more. I order omelets at breakfast restaurants sometimes - and sometimes really enjoy them. However, my idea of a perfect omelet just doesn't square up with the restaurant version too well.

First - the idea that an omelet needs to be a light, fluffy little cloud of egginess is all wrong. Set aside the debate from Tootsie about what makes an omelet fluffy ("it's the milk"), the point is that fluffines is not necessarily a desired attribute in my perfect omelet. I don't really want a half -inch layer of fluffy white egginess on either side of my omelet centerpiece.

Second - order is overrated. No need to have a perfectly smooth eggy exterior hiding the goodies inside. I am perfectly comfortable with basically stuff-cooked-with-eggs that doesn't have the structure of the formal omelet. Homespun saying about it all "going to the same place" resonate with me here.

Third - about the stuff inside. I understand that the restaurant business is about selling me cheap food and charging me for the waitressing. Fine. But if I'm making my own omelet, I really don't want to eat four eggs and a little bit of green pepper or ham... I want to eat the good stuff, even if it's more expensive, and I want to use the eggs as a conduit for doing so. No shame in having roughly equal value of eggs and "stuff" in an omelet... even slant toward the latter as the situation affords.

Fourth - cheese. It's a special case to me, but if you're going to put cheese in an omelet (and I recommend it in nearly every case) then I want to *know* there's cheese in my omelet. Not a little strip or smattering on top, but I want one of two things -- either a think ribbon/layer of cheese down the middle after my nice neat omelet has been folded, or I want a noticable cheesiness throughout. Don't skimp here.

Fifth - experiment. Don't be afreaid to make an omelet with whatever you have lying around in the fridge. Kung Pao omelets are just delicious, as are chicken satay omelets, sausage-and-kraut omelets, and so forth. Eggs are pretty darned close to the universal solvent in food, don't be afraid to use them, even if you lack the ingredients for a standard offering.


Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.







* I will only dedicate this minor footnote to the rememberance of the 7th grade spelling bee, where I was disqualified for misspelling this word, by using the perfectly acceptable spelling "o-m-e-l-e-t-t-e" but Mr. B______ was only using one book as the list of words, and it (frustratingly enough) included only the "o-m-e-l-e-t" spelling... and why one earth would anyone include words with multiple acceptable spellings in a spelling book anyway? This probably contributed to my two-year feeling of great intimidation by Mr. B______ throughout middle school, also no doubt enhanced by the time he discovered me writing a word search during his class, rather than taking notes (and p[ublicly humiliated me for same). However, I got my sweet revenge over time, as I was able to, years later as a college student, "make some time" with Mr. B's lovely young daughter.. but I digress, and that's really another subject entirely...

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

* I will only dedicate this minor footnote to the rememberance of the 7th grade spelling bee, where I was disqualified for misspelling this word, by using the perfectly acceptable spelling "o-m-e-l-e-t-t-e" but Mr. B______ was only using one book as the list of words, and it (frustratingly enough) included only the "o-m-e-l-e-t" spelling... and why one earth would anyone include words with multiple acceptable spellings in a spelling book anyway? This probably contributed to my two-year feeling of great intimidation by Mr. B______ throughout middle school, also no doubt enhanced by the time he discovered me writing a word search during his class, rather than taking notes (and p[ublicly humiliated me for same). However, I got my sweet revenge over time, as I was able to, years later as a college student, "make some time" with Mr. B's lovely young daughter.. but I digress, and that's really another subject entirely...

This NEEDS its own thread.

[cartman]

I agree with all of this, except the cheese part. The Krispy Kreme burger saga documented my disdain for cheese.

I too like my omelete to be thick and hearty, not light and fluffy. If you want that, eat a quiche. And I agree with the "kitchen sink" analogy for putting stuff in. We would always do this when camping. Any leftovers from the night before got mixed in with the eggs for breakfast.

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by cartman

I agree with all of this, except the cheese part. The Krispy Kreme burger saga documented my disdain for cheese.

Even aberrant opinions are welcome in this thread.

[Butter]

I have a related omelet question.

Do you tip the omelet guy at a breakfast buffet?

[WVUFAN]

I cook my omelete in butter, with a good bit a chopped ham and cheese in the middle, along with more cheese on the top of the omelete.

[JeeberD]

I needs TONS of ham and cheese in mine. It's not really an omelette if you're skimping on the stuffing...

[digamma]

I don't disagree with anything you've written. I'm also an advocate of the "scramble" when the homemade omelet goes awry in the flipping process and end up having to jumble all the ingredients together in a less than professional manner. I think this is certainly in the spirit of, but might be one step further than the position you've taken in #2 above.

[Crapshoot]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

* I will only dedicate this minor footnote to the rememberance of the 7th grade spelling bee, where I was disqualified for misspelling this word, by using the perfectly acceptable spelling "o-m-e-l-e-t-t-e" but Mr. B______ was only using one book as the list of words, and it (frustratingly enough) included only the "o-m-e-l-e-t" spelling... and why one earth would anyone include words with multiple acceptable spellings in a spelling book anyway? This probably contributed to my two-year feeling of great intimidation by Mr. B______ throughout middle school, also no doubt enhanced by the time he discovered me writing a word search during his class, rather than taking notes (and p[ublicly humiliated me for same). However, I got my sweet revenge over time, as I was able to, years later as a college student, "make some time" with Mr. B's lovely young daughter.. but I digress, and that's really another subject entirely...

I hate eggs. Nonetheless, this most definitely needs its own thread.

[gottimd]

I wish there were more omelete shacks around this area. Actually not sure what the place was called, but a few summers back, I went to visit this girl I knew at the Jersey Shore and that sunday when the weekend was up and it was time to go home, we went to some place that had hundreds of types of omeletes, I was in heaven.

[MizzouRah]

Nothing better then a ham, green pepper, tomato omelete. Mmmm... splash some tobasco and I'm all set!

Oh.. courtesy of Waffle House.

[gottimd]

Comment #5 is right on, although I am not sure about Kung Pao, interesting, I can see myself drunk one night trying to do that or making an ice cream omelet and waking up and wondering why I have 12th degree diarrhea.

[Celeval]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

I order omelets at breakfast restaurants sometimes - and sometimes really enjoy them. However, my idea of a perfect omelet just doesn't square up with the restaurant version too well.

Any particular recommended breakfast restaurants? (Eggspectation is our usual choice)

[VPI97]

I used to make some good omelettes when was first married....I fry up potatoes and put them in there with ham, turkey, onions, mushrooms...whetever I could find.

But now Nikki won't let me use things like the "stove" or the "oven"...something about being a fire hazard.

[cthomer5000]

Originally Posted by wade moore

This NEEDS its own thread.

Or it's own feature film. One of the two.

[Subby]

Fritatas can be pretty solid as well. I make one with smoked salmon, red onions, gruyere and asparagus tips that pwns your momma.

[Anthony]

i always request extra cheese, and only accept american cheese in my omeletts. none of this cheddar crap (i'm looking at you, IHOP). ham and amercian cheese omelette with toasted wheat bread on the side so i can make my own sandwich=yummy.

[Glengoyne]

Sausage and Kraut. Hmmm

I'm with Cartman on the Cheese side, sort of. I like cheese, just not heated up and melty...this extends to fondue, but I do make exception for those crappy Kraft singles in a grilled cheese sandwich. Oh and Golden Grain Mac and Cheese, the melted cheese there is okay as well.

I'd imagine that good Kung Pao, and is there a food that varies in quality more, would be good with pretty much anything. I think I'll have to try some left-overs the next morning sometime.

I do agree that form over function isn't something I'm big on when it comes to omelettes. This has little to do with my inability to cleanly flip one. A lumpy concoction mixed with scrambled eggs is pretty much all that I require to dub something an omelette.


Oh the omelette part of the thread was good. The footnote, even better.

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by Hell Atlantic

i always request extra cheese, and only accept american cheese in my omeletts. none of this cheddar crap (i'm looking at you, IHOP). ham and amercian cheese omelette with toasted wheat bread on the side so i can make my own sandwich=yummy.

I think I just found out the only thing (aside from a love of naked women) that HA and I have in common...

Cheddar has ruined many a good omelette. Ham and American all the way!

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by Butter_of_69

I have a related omelet question.

Do you tip the omelet guy at a breakfast buffet?

I always give the omelet guy a buck. Same for the Mongolian Grill guy.

[cartman]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

I always give the omelet guy a buck. Same for the Mongolian Grill guy.

Do they hit the gong when you tip them like they do at the place I go to?

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by Celeval

Any particular recommended breakfast restaurants? (Eggspectation is our usual choice)

In your neighborhood, you've already hit the top prize.

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by cartman

Do they hit the gong when you tip them like they do at the place I go to?

My local MG joint is so low class, the guy looks at me like I handed him my solid gold cufflinks. I probably am the only loser all night to toss him a buck, he usually fawns like I'm royalty.

[Franklinnoble]

These are actual photos of omelettes that my wife makes on a pretty regular basis:








If anyone wants the recipe, post a thread or PM her over at SportsDigs.

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

My local MG joint is so low class, the guy looks at me like I handed him my solid gold cufflinks. I probably am the only loser all night to toss him a buck, he usually fawns like I'm royalty.

The Mongolian BBQ in Williamsburg (anyone who's been here has probably eaten there) has the old "Mongolian Cooks do not accept tips" or some such, so I always give the waitress a little more than I normally would since i assume they tip-out to the cooks.

[bbor]

Why do you have pix of your wifes omeletes?

[Franklinnoble]

Originally Posted by bbor

Why do you have pix of your wifes omeletes?

It's a peculiar sort of fetish I have...












... actually, she saw the thread, happened to be making omelettes at the time, and snapped off a few photos and sent them to me to share with the gang.

[Anthony]

Originally Posted by JeeberD

I think I just found out the only thing (aside from a love of naked women) that HA and I have in common...

Cheddar has ruined many a good omelette. Ham and American all the way!

if you really wanna twist my nipples - serve me ham and cheddar ESPECIALLY when i made it a point to request american cheese. do it even if i say "if you *don't* have american cheese, please let me know and i'll order something else, it's no big deal". when i bite into it and you see my face turn an angry shade of red you can laugh at me and scream "mindfucked!".

[Grid Iron]

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

These are actual photos of omelettes that my wife makes on a pretty regular basis:




If anyone wants the recipe, post a thread or PM her over at SportsDigs.

Perhaps you can sell the recipe to Denny's for their "Heart Smart" menu.

BTW, awesome looking omelette.

[stevew]

I have way too much omelette making experience, but I agree with most of the points, especially about Cheddar. My favorite is probably ham and salsa with american(extra) cheese.

And really, these jimmy dean skillets are pretty good, easier than assembling and cooking up all this stuff to get to the same basic point.

[judicial clerk]

for me fluffiness=overcooked

[Marc Vaughan]

Forgive my ignorance but what exactly is 'American' cheese? ... always thought Cheddar was the bog-standard cheese myself .... so I'm somewhat intruiged and wondering if my local supermarket will consider me mad if I ask regarding it next time I visit

[Subby]

American cheese is dogshit mixed with yellowish food dye and then pissed on by a dehydrated marathoner.

And then flattened in Rosie O'Donnell's unshaven left pit.

[Marc Vaughan]

Originally Posted by Chris

American cheese is dogshit mixed with yellowish food dye and then pissed on by a dehydrated marathoner.

And then flattened in Rosie O'Donnell's unshaven left pit.

Sounds like the plastic artificial cheese my kids insist on ... although you didn't mention it 'bouncing' so I'm guessing its not

[George]

Originally Posted by Marc Vaughan

Forgive my ignorance but what exactly is 'American' cheese? ... always thought Cheddar was the bog-standard cheese myself .... so I'm somewhat intruiged and wondering if my local supermarket will consider me mad if I ask regarding it next time I visit

Here's a quick description.

hxxp://www.ilovecheese.com/cheese_profile.asp?Cheese=American

[Marc Vaughan]

I've tried that before when in America - didn't realise it was a particular type of cheese ... did like it, but couldn't eat it as much as I do Cheddar personally.

Hmmm Cheddar and branston on crackers

[sabotai]

Since someone mentioned Denny's, can someone please explain to me why the fuck they stopped making the Meat Lover's Skillet!? That thing was fuckin awesome!

Plus, omelettes with mozzarella cheese = awesome.

[VPI97]

Gotta make omelettes with provolone.

[cthomer5000]

Originally Posted by Marc Vaughan

I've tried that before when in America - didn't realise it was a particular type of cheese ... did like it, but couldn't eat it as much as I do Cheddar personally.

Hmmm Cheddar and branston on crackers

Well, one of the huge pluses of american cheese is that it melts very well, much better than Cheddar (which i love, but becomes quite oily and kind of unappealing looking when melted).

But American is indeed it's own kind of cheese, and quite standard. And it's really only for sandwiches or cooking. No one that I know would ever be snacking on american cheese on crackers, for example.

[Vince]

When it comes to cheese, it doesn't get better than swiss. Though lately smoked gouda has been a huge hit around my house.

[Franklinnoble]

I like just about any kind of cheese... except the stinky kind.

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by cthomer5000

No one that I know would ever be snacking on american cheese on crackers, for example.

*raises hand*

[Celeval]

Originally Posted by cthomer5000

But American is indeed it's own kind of cheese, and quite standard. And it's really only for sandwiches or cooking.

American cheese on cheeseburgers is the be-all and end-all.

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by cthomer5000

Well, one of the huge pluses of american cheese is that it melts very well, much better than Cheddar (which i love, but becomes quite oily and kind of unappealing looking when melted).

But American is indeed it's own kind of cheese, and quite standard. And it's really only for sandwiches or cooking. No one that I know would ever be snacking on american cheese on crackers, for example.

And it's great for giving dogs pills ...

[Lorena]

Originally Posted by wade moore

This NEEDS its own thread.

Absofreakinlutely!!

Spill it QS

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by VPI97

Gotta make omelettes with provolone.

Actually, the omelet that actually got me thinking about lauching this thread was just that. Opened the fridge, and fired up "whatever is on hand" with eggs... the result was actually dynamite. Some diced-up Genoa Salami, several thin slices of provolone, green olives with pimentos, and topped off with Pizza Quick sauce. It really came together, in the absence of a plan, to make a tremendous omelet, one I might try to re-create deliberately soon.

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by Dodgerchick

Spill it QS

Actually, the balance of the story would likely prove to be less interesting than the selected tidbits I already offered... so no follow-up will be forthcoming.

[GrantDawg]

Originally Posted by sabotai

*raises hand*

Ummmm....me, too. What other cheese would you use to snack on crackers?

[Lorena]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

Actually, the balance of the story would likely prove to be less interesting than the selected tidbits I already offered... so no follow-up will be forthcoming.

Aww shucks... I was looking forward to something juicy. Quite the tease you are QS.

[GrantDawg]

Originally Posted by MizzouRah

Nothing better then a ham, green pepper, tomato omelete. Mmmm... splash some tobasco and I'm all set!

Oh.. courtesy of Waffle House.

Waffle House is awesome. Well, usually awesome. If you get a bad cook at the grill, it could be bad.