Love those 6:30 AM conversations with a 4-year old...

Draft Dodger · 04-28-2006, 06:28 AM

As usual, as soon as I got up to take a shower, Graham woke up and snuck into my spot in bed. I come back to the room and have these questions:

"Daddy. The front of your underwear is open" (boxers, of course).
"Yeah, I know. They do that sometimes" (especially when your dad could stand to lose a few pounds).
"Why Daddy?"
"I don't know, they just do"
(long pause for more thought. I brace myself)
"Oh, is it for when your penis gets bigger when you have to go potty"
"Well, I don't...um, yes, the hole in the front is so I can go potty"
"How?"
(I then proceed to give a brief demonstration - pun intended - on how the front flap works, and hope that I'm done).
"But, Daddy?"
"Yes"
"What if you have pants on?"
(I then have to put on my pants, and give another demonstration).

I thought my wife was sleeping through this, but when I went over to kiss her goodbye, she was shaking uncontrollably with laughter.

Joe · 04-28-2006, 06:37 AM

nopixplz

Pumpy Tudors · 04-28-2006, 07:22 AM

I'll take pics of Mrs. Draft Dodger in bed.

Draft Dodger · 04-28-2006, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

I'll take pics of Mrs. Draft Dodger in bed.

for the record, I knew that's what you'd say.

Pumpy Tudors · 04-28-2006, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Draft Dodger

for the record, I knew that's what you'd say.

:o

Uh oh. I think my crush on Mrs. Draft Dodger has gotten way too obvious.

Draft Dodger · 04-28-2006, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

:o

Uh oh. I think my crush on Mrs. Draft Dodger has gotten way too obvious.

no not at all.
it's just that I can your mind and stuff.

Maple Leafs · 04-28-2006, 08:47 AM

Wow, you must really like going potty.

Glengoyne · 04-28-2006, 09:02 AM

I think it's funny that he thinks your penis needs to get bigger.

Draft Dodger · 04-28-2006, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glengoyne

I think it's funny that he thinks your penis needs to get bigger.

Subby · 04-28-2006, 09:39 AM

I like when my 3 year-olds point and say, "Daddy, that's your penis."

Just in case, you know...I forget.

cartman · 04-28-2006, 09:51 AM

I was at the store one time, and there was a little girl that, evidently, had just gotten the info from her parents. She was walking up to people saying "Boys have penises, and girls have vaginas. Since I am a girl, I have a vagina." Her mom was 9 shades of red.

Draft Dodger · 04-28-2006, 09:58 AM

we have friends who's daughter would start breastfeeding her teddy bear in stores. graham also went through this phase...thankfully not in public though.

Galaxy · 04-28-2006, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cartman

I was at the store one time, and there was a little girl that, evidently, had just gotten the info from her parents. She was walking up to people saying "Boys have penises, and girls have vaginas. Since I am a girl, I have a vagina." Her mom was 9 shades of red.

Sounds like Kidengarden Cop.

cartman · 04-28-2006, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Sounds like Kidengarden Cop.

Maybe that's where she got it from. It was back around the time that came out, come to think of it.

WSUCougar · 04-28-2006, 10:14 AM

What is this word "penis?" That's a "winky" in our house (which has a 4-year-old boy, too).

oliegirl · 04-28-2006, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WSUCougar

What is this word "penis?" That's a "winky" in our house (which has a 4-year-old boy, too).

I use "wee wee" or "Mr. Pee Pee"...

Franklinnoble · 04-28-2006, 10:25 AM

My two-year old was in the tub last week and was checking his equipment out... it's not the first time, but it was the first time he decided to talk about it. He wasn't sure what it was, so he asks, "Tail?"

I'm giggling at this, and I say, "No, it's not a tail. That's your willie."

Didn't take him long to realize that his baby sister (also in the tub) was missing this piece of hardware. "Scarlett's willie gone!"

Lemme tell you... it's just not easy explaining this stuff to a two year old with a straight face.

bbor · 04-28-2006, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glengoyne

I think it's funny that he thinks your penis needs to get bigger.

Quote:

I thought my wife was sleeping through this, but when I went over to kiss her goodbye, she was shaking uncontrollably with laughter.

Obviously these 2 quotes need to be together.

Hammer755 · 04-28-2006, 11:51 AM

D(ae)D?

Coffee Warlord · 04-28-2006, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glengoyne

I think it's funny that he thinks your penis needs to get bigger.

He shoots. He scores!

Crapshoot · 04-28-2006, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammer755

D(ae)D?

You have to spread some reputation around before you can give it to Hammer755 again.

Warhammer · 04-28-2006, 01:09 PM

I still love the 4 year old in the bathtub. Suddenly he gets excited.

"Daddy, what's happening to my penis? It's getting bigger!"

"They do that son."

"Why?"

Some questions, there are no real good answers for.

Draft Dodger · 04-28-2006, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammer755

D(ae)D?

you sure we're safe here? I'll meet you in the sekrit forum in 10, dood.

Franklinnoble · 04-28-2006, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Draft Dodger

you sure we're safe here? I'll meet you in the sekrit forum in 10, dood.

I don't get it.

Draft Dodger · 04-28-2006, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

I don't get it.

I know.

Pumpy Tudors · 04-28-2006, 02:58 PM

hay guys lets talk about my penis

(as soon as I find the jar that Mrs. Tudors keeps it in)

hoosiergoody · 04-28-2006, 03:08 PM

that would be your nutz and they are probably in her purse...

04-28-2006, 07:22 AM	#3
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	I'll take pics of Mrs. Draft Dodger in bed. __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.

04-28-2006, 08:47 AM	#7
Maple Leafs Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002	Wow, you must really like going potty. __________________ Down Goes Brown: Toronto Maple Leafs Humor and Analysis

04-28-2006, 09:39 AM	#10
Subby lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: sans pants	I like when my 3 year-olds point and say, "Daddy, that's your penis." Just in case, you know...I forget. __________________ Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com

04-28-2006, 09:51 AM	#11
cartman Death Herald Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas	I was at the store one time, and there was a little girl that, evidently, had just gotten the info from her parents. She was walking up to people saying "Boys have penises, and girls have vaginas. Since I am a girl, I have a vagina." Her mom was 9 shades of red. __________________ Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint

04-28-2006, 09:58 AM	#12
Draft Dodger Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Keene, NH	we have friends who's daughter would start breastfeeding her teddy bear in stores. graham also went through this phase...thankfully not in public though. __________________ Mile High Hockey

04-28-2006, 06:37 AM	#2
Joe Pro Starter Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Minneapolis	nopixplz

04-28-2006, 09:02 AM	#8
Glengoyne Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Fresno, CA	I think it's funny that he thinks your penis needs to get bigger.

04-28-2006, 10:14 AM	#15
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	What is this word "penis?" That's a "winky" in our house (which has a 4-year-old boy, too). __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

04-28-2006, 10:25 AM	#17
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	My two-year old was in the tub last week and was checking his equipment out... it's not the first time, but it was the first time he decided to talk about it. He wasn't sure what it was, so he asks, "Tail?" I'm giggling at this, and I say, "No, it's not a tail. That's your willie." Didn't take him long to realize that his baby sister (also in the tub) was missing this piece of hardware. "Scarlett's willie gone!" Lemme tell you... it's just not easy explaining this stuff to a two year old with a straight face.

04-28-2006, 11:51 AM	#19
Hammer755 High School Varsity Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Houston, TX	D(ae)D? __________________ I failed Signature 101 class.

04-28-2006, 01:09 PM	#22
Warhammer Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Dayton, OH	I still love the 4 year old in the bathtub. Suddenly he gets excited. "Daddy, what's happening to my penis? It's getting bigger!" "They do that son." "Why?" Some questions, there are no real good answers for.

04-28-2006, 02:58 PM	#26
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	hay guys lets talk about my penis (as soon as I find the jar that Mrs. Tudors keeps it in) __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.

04-28-2006, 03:08 PM	#27
hoosiergoody Mascot Join Date: Nov 2005	that would be your nutz and they are probably in her purse... Last edited by hoosiergoody : 04-28-2006 at 03:09 PM.

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