Judge tells lawyers to play Rock/Paper/Scissors to resolve dispute

SirFozzie · 06-07-2006, 04:51 PM

NEW YORK (FORTUNE) - Faced with the inability of two bickering attorneys to resolve even the most innocuous scheduling questions without his intervention, a Florida federal judge yesterday ordered the two to meet on the steps of the federal courthouse and resolve their latest quarrel by playing "one (1) game of 'rock, paper, scissors.' "

Judge Gregory A. Presnell of Orlando ordered the unusual measure, which he characterized as "a new form of alternative dispute resolution," after the two Tampa attorneys had proven unable to agree upon where to hold a deposition, even though both of their offices are just four floors away in the very same building in Tampa.
Defense attorney D. Lee Craig, of Butler Pappas Weihmuller Katz Craig, proposed holding the deposition in his office, but plaintiffs' attorney David J. Pettinato of Merlin Law Group wanted it to take place at the court reporter's office down the street.

The Solomonic ruling comes in an insurance dispute filed last September by Avista Management against Wausau Underwriters Insurance Co.

Characterizing the disagreement as "the latest in a series of Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts," Judge Presnell ordered each attorney, "accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness," to play the dispositive round of RPS on June 30.

"The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location of the . . . deposition," he ruled, so long as it was within Hillsborough County.

In an interview, plaintiff's lawyer Pettinato says, "I'm going to comply with the court's order to the letter." Defense lawyer Craig did not respond to a phone message, while Judge Presnell, 63, who was appointed to the bench by President Bill Clinton in 2000, declined comment.

The Ruling:

http://money.cnn.com/2006/06/07/maga...tune/index.htm

Farrah Whitworth-Rahn · 06-07-2006, 04:53 PM

That's awesome! If the lawyers are going to behave like children, might as well settle it like children.

John Galt · 06-07-2006, 04:54 PM

It should be noted that while this is very funny, IMO, decisions over where a deposition should be located are often totally random (sometimes a coin flip is used) since it really doesn't matter and there is rarely an argument over which place is better (provided they are in the same general vicinity). Judges just wish the parties would figure these things out amongst themselves rather than bothering the court every time.

Franklinnoble · 06-07-2006, 04:55 PM

Good ole' rock. Nothing beats rock.

vex · 06-07-2006, 05:03 PM

Haha, nice

Antmeister · 06-07-2006, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Good ole' rock. Nothing beats rock.

Paper?

vex · 06-07-2006, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Good ole' rock. Nothing beats rock.

Titanium scissors?

JS19 · 06-07-2006, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antmeister

Paper?

I do believe he said NOTHING beats rock.

Just goes to show, rock, paper, scissors never fails and solves everything.

sterlingice · 06-07-2006, 11:10 PM

"Poor predictable Bart. Always takes rock."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Good ole' rock. Nothing beats rock.

SI

DaddyTorgo · 06-07-2006, 11:19 PM

instead of rocks paper scissors i prefer cockroach, foot, nuclear war.

"So cockroach always wins!"

sterlingice · 06-07-2006, 11:22 PM

A friend of mine plays "Bear, Ninja, Hunter"

SI

DaddyTorgo · 06-07-2006, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sterlingice

A friend of mine plays "Bear, Ninja, Hunter"

SI

hunter kills bear.
ninja kills hunter.
bear kills ninja?

cartman · 06-07-2006, 11:31 PM

I thought ro-sham-bo was where you take turns kicking each other in the nuts has hard as you can until one person falls down. I always go first.

sterlingice · 06-07-2006, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

hunter kills bear.
ninja kills hunter.
bear kills ninja?

Yeah, that's how it works.

He likes it because it's "full body" RPS as you have hunter who holds a rifle, ninja is a fighting stance and bear is standing big with arms raised like a bear.

SI

Groundhog · 06-08-2006, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antmeister

Paper?

Kiff, we have a conundrum.

Raiders Army · 06-08-2006, 06:45 AM

In other news, the U.S. Rock/Paper/Scissors tournament will be televised on A&E next Monday. Set your tivos.

Raiders Army · 06-08-2006, 06:49 AM

dola,

$50k is the grand prize:

http://www.aetv.com/listings/episode...isodeid=168044

Rock Paper Scissors Championship®

“Rock Paper Scissors Championship ”
Rated: TVPG
Running Time: 60 Minutes
Genre: Movies
Closed Captions: Yes

Upcoming Airings:
Monday, June 12 @ 10pm/9C
Tuesday, June 13 @ 2am/1C
Saturday, June 17 @ 12pm/11C

Search for other upcoming episodes

You probably played rock, paper, scissors when you were a kid, but we bet you never played it for $50,000. That's the big prize that awaits the winner in the Rock Paper Scissors Championship. Bud Light sponsored local competitions in bars throughout the country to find the best players, who advanced to the exciting national finals in Las Vegas. This special captures all the excitement of the sport, focusing on both the intensity and the insanity as players are eliminated and a victor is crowned. But this isn't just a blood sport, it's also high comedy as the program reveals the history of the game, the finer points of strategy and you the viewer can become a better rock paper scissors player. Dave Attel hosts.

06-07-2006, 04:54 PM	#3
John Galt Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Internets	It should be noted that while this is very funny, IMO, decisions over where a deposition should be located are often totally random (sometimes a coin flip is used) since it really doesn't matter and there is rarely an argument over which place is better (provided they are in the same general vicinity). Judges just wish the parties would figure these things out amongst themselves rather than bothering the court every time. __________________ I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man. - The Dude

06-07-2006, 11:22 PM	#11
sterlingice Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Back in Houston!	A friend of mine plays "Bear, Ninja, Hunter" SI __________________ Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"

06-07-2006, 11:31 PM	#13
cartman Death Herald Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas	I thought ro-sham-bo was where you take turns kicking each other in the nuts has hard as you can until one person falls down. I always go first. __________________ Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint

06-07-2006, 04:53 PM	#2
Farrah Whitworth-Rahn Red-Headed Vixen Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Phoenix, AZ	That's awesome! If the lawyers are going to behave like children, might as well settle it like children.

06-07-2006, 04:55 PM	#4
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	Good ole' rock. Nothing beats rock.

06-07-2006, 05:03 PM	#5
vex Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Tulsa	Haha, nice

06-07-2006, 11:19 PM	#10
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	instead of rocks paper scissors i prefer cockroach, foot, nuclear war. "So cockroach always wins!"

06-08-2006, 06:45 AM	#16
Raiders Army Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Black Hole	In other news, the U.S. Rock/Paper/Scissors tournament will be televised on A&E next Monday. Set your tivos.

06-08-2006, 06:49 AM	#17
Raiders Army Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Black Hole	dola, $50k is the grand prize: http://www.aetv.com/listings/episode...isodeid=168044 Rock Paper Scissors Championship® “Rock Paper Scissors Championship ” Rated: TVPG Running Time: 60 Minutes Genre: Movies Closed Captions: Yes Upcoming Airings: Monday, June 12 @ 10pm/9C Tuesday, June 13 @ 2am/1C Saturday, June 17 @ 12pm/11C Search for other upcoming episodes You probably played rock, paper, scissors when you were a kid, but we bet you never played it for $50,000. That's the big prize that awaits the winner in the Rock Paper Scissors Championship. Bud Light sponsored local competitions in bars throughout the country to find the best players, who advanced to the exciting national finals in Las Vegas. This special captures all the excitement of the sport, focusing on both the intensity and the insanity as players are eliminated and a victor is crowned. But this isn't just a blood sport, it's also high comedy as the program reveals the history of the game, the finer points of strategy and you the viewer can become a better rock paper scissors player. Dave Attel hosts.

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