This has been happening a lot lately.

Ben E Lou · 12-20-2006, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Various users, three or four times a week lately since all the n00bs started signing up due to the new game

Hello. I registered but I...

{one of the following}
a. didn't receive an e-mail confirmation
b. can't log in to the board
c. forgot my password

Help!

Do these people assume that my One True Dark Jedi powers include the ability to magically know what their user name is??? My best estimate is that these e-mails include a screen name less than 20% of the time, and probably 90% of them don't come from the e-mail address that the guy registered with, either. I ought to just write up an e-mail template and send it to them.

Quote:

Dear Slowcoach (since you did not provide your user name, I can only assume):

Believe it or not, if you want me to check your account, then I need your user name. Because you didn't give it to me, I must assume that you think that this is some magical global bug impacting everyone that just appeared today and you're doing me a favor by reporting it. Here's a hint, when 5,000+ people have posted 1.3+ million items at a message board, and YOU can't log in, it is a PEBCAK issue, not one on our end. If you want my help, then it is help specific to you. Here are a few FAQ Hints:

Q: Why didn't I receive the registration confirmation e-mail?
A: If you want to use a free Yahoo account to sign up for message boards, then more power to you, but have the common sense to CHECK YOUR SPAM FOLDER for the confirmation e-mail before writing me.

Q: Why can't I log in to the board? (And yes, I get this extremely non-specific question quite a bit.)
A: I have no idea. Based on your lack of attention to detail, it seems fully within the realm of possibility that you didn't think to enter your user name and/or password, but without SOME information, I have no freaking clue what your problem is, although as with most of these issues, I assuming it's PEBKAC.

Q: I forgot my password. Can you help?
A: Well, I assume from receiving this that you're too obtuse to click on the "Forgotten your password" link, so I guess I'll have to go in and manually have the board send you a new one. Please refer to the first paragraph of this letter.

...And don't EVEN get me started on the detailed two-paragraph PM I received last night protesting someone else's "banning," going into *great* detail about why his buddy is a stand-up guy and didn't deserve to be banned. From looking in the control panel, it looks like the "banned" guy changed his e-mail address, didn't follow the instructions for what to do afterward, and then apparently complained to his buddy about how the evil, evil SkyDog had "banned" him. Nice.

Honolulu_Blue · 12-20-2006, 06:26 AM

Might I recommend. . .

flere-imsaho · 12-20-2006, 08:23 AM

I think you can safely cross a career in tech support off your list.

gstelmack · 12-20-2006, 08:29 AM

That's too complicated for them to follow. How about:

Quote:

Originally Posted by me

Thank-you for writing the FOFC tech support line. In an effort to serve you better, your e-mail may be recorded for later review. At the sound of the tone, please reply with your username. Please type clearly and directly. * BEEP *

Toddzilla · 12-20-2006, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flere-imsaho

I think you can safely cross a career in tech support off your list.

Fuck that - if I operated a call center, The HNIC is the first guy I'm calling to run the show.

Mustang · 12-20-2006, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkyDog

Do these people assume that my One True Dark Jedi powers include the ability to magically know what their user name is???

something.. something.. something.. Dark Side.. something.. something..

Lathum · 12-20-2006, 11:55 AM

lol, well at least the stupid noobs will get a warm, friendly welcome...

Anthony · 12-20-2006, 05:15 PM

you don't think that's a tad over the top? kinda heavy-handed approach if you ask me. i do think a FAQ template should be kickbacked to the user in the event of issues, but maybe tone it down cuz if i got feedback like that i wouldn't even bother joining this board.

just remember - being a noob doesn't equal being stupid.

RedKingGold · 12-20-2006, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hell Atlantic

just remember - being a noob doesn't equal being stupid.

That's true. How many years have you been here?

AlexB · 12-20-2006, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkyDog

Do these people assume that my One True Dark Jedi powers include the ability to magically know what their user name is??? My best estimate is that these e-mails include a screen name less than 20% of the time, and probably 90% of them don't come from the e-mail address that the guy registered with, either...

Seriously, what use are One Ture Dark Jedi Powers if you can't work out who's who? Back to Tatooine, you have much to learn.

Ben E Lou · 12-20-2006, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hell Atlantic

you don't think that's a tad over the top? kinda heavy-handed approach if you ask me. i do think a FAQ template should be kickbacked to the user in the event of issues, but maybe tone it down cuz if i got feedback like that i wouldn't even bother joining this board.

just remember - being a noob doesn't equal being stupid.

..and being the Dean Houston Fan Club President does not afford one with understanding of humor, apparently.

Eaglesfan27 · 12-20-2006, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mustang

something.. something.. something.. Dark Side.. something.. something..

Excellent episode.

Anthony · 12-20-2006, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkyDog

..and being the Dean Houston Fan Club President does not afford one with understanding of humor, apparently.

no, but it does get me a nifty club jacket:

sterlingice · 12-23-2006, 01:39 PM

Ok, I have to ask, what is "PEBCAK"?

SI

Toddzilla · 12-23-2006, 04:24 PM

Google is your friend.

jeff061 · 12-23-2006, 04:39 PM

I've come to prefer the PICNIC phrase over the old standby PEBCAK.

Then again there are still people who are in the dark on ID10T.

SirFozzie · 12-23-2006, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sterlingice

Ok, I have to ask, what is "PEBCAK"?

SI

Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard (I always saw it spelled PEBKAC)

My favorite techsupport one was telling a particularly assholeish customer "You can certainly call back if it doesn't work.. In fact for proper service, Please tell the person you talk to that David thinks the category for this call is ID Ten T. "

*grins *

12-20-2006, 06:26 AM	#2
Honolulu_Blue Hockey Boy Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Royal Oak, MI	Might I recommend. . . __________________ *Steve Yzerman*: 1,755 points in 1,514 regular season games. 185 points in 196 postseason games. A First-Team All-Star, Conn Smythe Trophy winner, Selke Trophy winner, Masterton Trophy winner, member of the Hockey Hall of Fame, Olympic gold medallist, and a three-time Stanley Cup Champion. Longest serving captain of one team in the history of the NHL (19 seasons).

12-23-2006, 01:39 PM	#14
sterlingice Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Back in Houston!	Ok, I have to ask, what is "PEBCAK"? SI __________________ Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"

12-23-2006, 04:39 PM	#16
jeff061 Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: MA	I've come to prefer the PICNIC phrase over the old standby PEBCAK. Then again there are still people who are in the dark on ID10T. __________________ Last edited by jeff061 : 12-23-2006 at 04:39 PM.

12-20-2006, 08:23 AM	#3
flere-imsaho Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Chicagoland	I think you can safely cross a career in tech support off your list.

12-20-2006, 11:55 AM	#7
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	lol, well at least the stupid noobs will get a warm, friendly welcome...

12-20-2006, 05:15 PM	#8
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	you don't think that's a tad over the top? kinda heavy-handed approach if you ask me. i do think a FAQ template should be kickbacked to the user in the event of issues, but maybe tone it down cuz if i got feedback like that i wouldn't even bother joining this board. just remember - being a noob doesn't equal being stupid.

12-23-2006, 04:24 PM	#15
Toddzilla Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burke, VA	Google is your friend.

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