I Think We've Finally Hit Rock Bottom

[Ksyrup]

CNN Breaking News Alert:

Lawyer nearly faints at the hearing on the fate of Anna Nicole Smith's body. Witness offers protein bar.

[MikeVic]

Hahaha. That sounds like some parody headline... I check cnn.com, and it actually is a headline! Hahaha!

[John Galt]

"Witness offers protein bar" is just brilliant.

[Ksyrup]

Yeah, the first line is stupid and inconsequential, but it's the protein bar part that sends it into orbit.

[KWhit]

You mean that's not a joke?

[Gotee7]

He'll probably sue the witness because he is allergic to peanuts and the protien bar was made in the same quarter mile radius of a Reeses Pieces.

[John Galt]

Originally Posted by KWhit

You mean that's not a joke?

It was the actual banner across the top of CNN earlier today. There really is no depth lower for CNN to sink.

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by Gotee7

He'll probably sue the witness because he is allergic to peanuts and the protien bar was made in the same quarter mile radius of a Reeses Pieces.

No, he'll sue because the witness did not also offer water with the protein bar, or if he did, he did not offer bottled water, or if he did offer bottled water, that it was already open and someone had drank from it, causing him severe emotional distress at the thought of someone else's germs coursing through his body.

[Gotee7]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

No, he'll sue because the witness did not also offer water with the protein bar, or if he did, he did not offer bottled water, or if he did offer bottled water, that it was already open and someone had drank from it, causing him severe emotional distress at the thought of someone else's germs coursing through his body.

LOL! AND that now everyone around had witnessed this atrocity, therefore his name has been slandered OR they'll convict on attempted murder........either way, I feel bad for the witness/defendant.

[Dr. Sak]

The judge gave the clerk his credit card to buy the lawyer some OJ.

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by John Galt

It was the actual banner across the top of CNN earlier today. There really is no depth lower for CNN to sink.

I guess I should have taken a screen shot to document it. I didn't think about it, but it is so absurd that it might not be believable.

[dervack]

Originally Posted by bsak16

The judge gave the clerk his credit card to buy the lawyer some OJ.

And the Goldmans' immediately sued for all money that was received for the Juice.

[terpkristin]

I dunno, the part of this story that made it "rock bottom" for me was this....

All this week, we are in a MAJOR design review for the satellite I'm currently working on (my company is making the satellite). This review entails long days with a lot of pain on the side of the company and the customer, and a fair amount of bickering is to be expected/is the norm. Today when that news broke, one of the customers (or one of their representatives, I'm not exactly sure of how the relationship works) actually told us all this, saying it had just come to him as CNN Breaking News on his Blackberry. This is a definite low point for civilization.

/tk

[Honolulu_Blue]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

CNN Breaking News Alert:

Lawyer nearly faints at the hearing on the fate of Anna Nicole Smith's body. Witness offers protein bar.

And this from the "liberal elite" media.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Maybe the news channels were just trying to find a way to get people to watch.

http://www.medialifemagazine.com/art...icle_10354.asp
Annamania: Syndie celeb shows soar

It’s been a relatively quiet year for syndication. Most court, talk and game show programs are even to last year or down, and there are no big launches looming for next year that everyone’s buzzing about.

But there is one area that’s having a huge year: syndicated newsmagazines. Ratings are soaring from the boom in salacious celebrity news that seemed to burst forth with the start of the year, from Isaiah Washington’s post-Golden Globes gay bashing to Britney Spears’ recent breakdown and the great chatterfest around the media circus of Anna Nicole Smith's death in the Bahamas.

Coverage of Smith's death boosted “Entertainment Tonight” to a three-year high for the week ended Feb. 11, the most recent numbers available. The show averaged a 6.4 rating, a full point above its season average and the show’s best average since the week after Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl boober in 2004.

Meanwhile, “Inside Edition” hit a season high of 4.1, 21 percent above its season average, and “The Insider” hit a series high of 3.1, 19 percent above its season average.

“Extra” averaged a season-high 2.5, 14 percent above its season average. And “Access Hollywood” averaged a 3.1, up 19 percent from the same week last year.

All five shows bettered their year-ago ratings, the most to post gains in any syndication genre.

And those ratings may well rise even higher this week. In addition to the continued saga of Smith and her baby, whose paternity still has not been determined, Spears’ bizarre behavior, including three trips in and out of rehab and two rumored suicide attempts, is sure to spur huge ratings.

At this rate, all the newsmagazines could end the year up or even, something no other category in syndication can expect.

[Ksyrup]

Those are some amazing numbers. Almost like someone gave those shows a protein bar.