What Not To Do During Someone Else's Bachelor Party

[Coffee Warlord]

A friend of ours' bachelor party last night. Raced go-karts, drank a bunch, and then hopped in a limo to go to a strip club. Simple enough, yes?

Now, we get to this place. We discover my buddy (NOT the bachelor), after maybe 30 minutes of being there, is hammered beyond belief. He frankly didn't look that bad up until this point. I wind up having to physically guide him into the pisser there, at which point one of the staff is telling me that he's probably going to have to leave if he's that drunk. Now, mind you, we all came in the limo, the bachelor is having a good time, so there's basically zero transportation available aside from a $100 cab ride.

I chat with the staffer for a few minutes, tell him lemme take care of him and we'll deal with him leaving/staying shortly. No problem.

He winds up puking in/around/all over the urinal. Which of course, officially guarantees we have to get him out of there. So I take a quick collection, and we have enough money for a cab ride. Club calls a cab, and we get him outside. Pain in the ass, but still not a HUGE problem.

Cab is taking quite awhile. At this point, he's sprawled in the parking lot, unable to even stand, puking over himself, me, anything and everything. Not good. I'm trying to keep him conscious and figure out what the fuck to do now, since he's rapidly worsening. All the while most everyone else is trying to keep all of this from The Bachelor, for obvious reasons.

Finally, we bite the bullet and call the ambulance. We couldn't even keep him upright, or get him to answer simple questions. It had gotten to dangerous levels. We get him in the ambulance and get him carted off. I call the hopistal about a half hour later and am told he's asleep.

Which of course, I then get the honor and privledge of placing a phone call to his wife at 1am telling her where her husband is going. Who is now, this morning, apparently pissed off at me for not staying at the hospital to watch him...sleep.

Moral of the story: Don't do that during someone else's bachelor party. In fact, don't do that...ever.

[st.cronin]

Well, I certainly don't blame you for not staying at the hospital... but I do wonder why you didn't call the wife either before or immediately after calling the ambulance.

[Coffee Warlord]

Sorry, I did call her right after we called the ambulance. Error in the writeup.

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

but I do wonder why you didn't call the wife either before or immediately after calling the ambulance.

Yeah, that is the only part I don't get. Otherwise, I think you handled things correctly and the hammered guy clearly F'd up.

[Maple Leafs]

This wouldn't have happened if you had just gone camping.

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

Sorry, I did call her right after we called the ambulance. Error in the writeup.

Did she go to the hospital?

[Maple Leafs]

Or it would have happened, and the guy would have died. One of the two.

[Coffee Warlord]

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

Did she go to the hospital?

She picked him up this morning.

[Sweed]

Perhaps you guys should have gone camping.

http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/...hlight=camping

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

She picked him up this morning.

Ridiculous. I don't see how she can be mad at you for not staying with him if she didn't do whatever it took to get there ASAP. I could understand her being mad if you didn't stay there until she got there if she was coming immediately.

[Sweed]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

This wouldn't have happened if you had just gone camping.

Damn, beat me too it

[Coffee Warlord]

To make matters more entertaining, he's a fire dept medic, and CERTAINLY old enough to not do pull this kinda shit.

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

To make matters more entertaining, he's a fire dept medic, and CERTAINLY old enough to not do pull this kinda shit.

I wonder if he got something he didn't expect. Not necessarily a hit of something illegal or a roofy, but perhaps a triple shot of something when all he wanted was a single?

[Coffee Warlord]

I think it was just too much too fast. He didn't pass up shots sent his way the entire night, and it hit him HARD (obviously).

It happens, but damn, he's 29 years old, and certainly should know how to pace himself.

[korme]

That's shitty for you and your bachelor friend, but very entertaining for me to read about.

[Rizon]

Moral of the Story: Know your limit and don't be a fucking moron.

Personally, I would have sat him down in a gutter and pissed on him while filming this on my cellphone camera, then I would post it later on YouTube.

[Cringer]

Sounds like a good party.

Personally I think the only rule for a bachelor party is don't bang the wife to be. Unless she is hot.

[gottimd]

Originally Posted by Cringer

Personally I think the only rule for a bachelor party is don't bang the wife to be. Unless she is hot.

Why would the wife-to-be, be at the bachelor party?

I thought the only rule for the bachelor party was not to commit a murder?

[cartman]

Is this a pic from last night's festivities?

[STK]

Originally Posted by gottimd

I thought the only rule for the bachelor party was not to commit a murder?

Good movie!

[MrBug708]

I second that

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by Sweed

Damn, beat me too it

FOFC rule of thumb: if you think of something funny, assume I already posted it. If I haven't, it's because it wasn't funny.