Dancing

[Karlifornia]

Dancing, among males, isn't something you have to do. Girls...they all love dancing. There isn't an exception to the rule. That morbidly obese receptionist at your work? The bookish barista wearing horn-rimmed glasses that gives you your Caramel Macchiatto, or whatever stimulant you drink on the way to work each morning... Oh yes...they may be introverts, but when they get a drink or three in them, amongst the company of their girlfriends, they dance their asses off. They drop it like it's hot. They back it up. They shake their tailfeathers. All of it. It doesn't matter what kind of music it is. It could be Rihanna, or it could be AC/DC. They dance.

With men, though, it's not as consistent. You have a few different types of dancers when it comes to men. Here they are:

John Wayne-This guy doesn't dance, period. In fact, if you were deaf, you'd have to question whether or not music was actually playing at all in the presence of John Wayne. There is no finger-snapping...no toe-tapping..no head-nodding, and least of all no hip-twisting. For John Wayne, to dance would be to immediately emasculate himself, and he might as well start sucking cocks.



The Ninja-The Ninja will dance, but only under these conditions:

1.There is nobody else around, and there is no chance of anyone being around to potentially out the ninja's gyrations. That's it.

The Ninja would rarely be caught dancing in a public place, not even with a romantic interest. The Ninja is curious about his limitations, though, and will dance in the privacy of his own home..preferably in front of a mirror.

The Ninja's public dancing is steadfastly restricted to slow-dancing, and only at the wedding of a relative.



Mr. Easter Island- Mr. Easter Island is fine with getting out on the floor. He'll do it at a dive bar. He'll do it at a "hip ultra-lounge". He'll do it at a house party. What Mr. Easter Island doesn't do is dance. Mr. Easter Island lives up to his namesake by standing there like a statue. No real movement to speak of. He lets the woman do all of the work. He feels he would look foolish trying to do anything fancy. The difference between him and the Ninja, is that Mr. Easter Island is ok being on the dancefloor during a fast song....he just ain't gonna do a damn thing once he's there. He'll just let the lady have her fun, but he wants to seem as though he's game.

The One-Trick Pony The One-Trick Pony is pretty self-explanitory. He'll get on the dancefloor for one song, with his date/girlfriend/wife. His ceiling is a single song, because he has only once dance. He waits in the shadows for the right song, because, much like a wild game hunter, he only has one great shot at a kill. After the dance, the OTP can probably be heard smugly rebuffing someone's request for another dance, even if he is vehemently interested in the girl. The exchange may go something like this:

Girl: "That was great...I didn't know you could tear it up like that!!!"

OTP: "Yeah, there's more than meets the eye!"

Girl: "Stay here! I'm not done with you yet!"

OTP: "Ha, no no...I think I'm gonna take a break from setting your ass on fire with my dancing."

Girl: "Oh...come on! I wanna see what else you got in that bag o' tricks!"

OTP: "Don't be selfish, now. There's only so much of me to go around."

The reasons for the turn-down are obvious. The OTP has no bag of tricks. The OTP has a trick. It's the twist, it's the electric slide, it's the two-step. It's whatever. That's it, and the OTP must take his show to another town.


The Lou Gehrig-The lou gehrig is a dancing machine. He does stuff you've never even seen before. The Lou Gehrig is the Lou Gehrig because he tries to steal the show from anyone he's dancing with (Wally Pipp), and he usually does. He treats dancing not as a simulation of boot-knocking, but as a showcase for his body-moving majesty. Thus, the lou gehrig is just as comfortable dancing alone as with a partner. He's the guy at a social event that shows everybody how to do it. When that song "Do You Love Me?" gets to that part "I can do the mashed potato...I can do the twist", he reminds people of what the mashed potato is, and he seamlessly segues into the twist. If you're at all cynical, you think The Lou Gehrig is a douchebag. The Lou Gehrig doesn't care...This is his moment to shine.


Which are you?

[Pyser]

when i think of lou gehrig, i think of dancing.

every time.

[MrBug708]

I'm the one trick pony for sure. I'll dance to more songs but it's more or less the same moves

[Karlifornia]

Originally Posted by Pyser

when i think of lou gehrig, i think of dancing.

every time.

It's kind of an unfortunate irony, now that you mention that. I can't believe I didn't even consider the whole "LDS" angle, if you were reaching that deep. Oops.

[Karlifornia]

Originally Posted by MrBug708

I'm the one trick pony for sure. I'll dance to more songs but it's more or less the same moves

Me, too.

[wade moore]

Failed to label me - I go Country dancing regularly - both line-dancing and couples dancing... I know all of the dances, I show off, I add my own tricks...

But you get me to a traditional club and I'm somewhere between John Wayne and Mr. Easter Island.

[TheOhioStateUniversity]

Ninja here....I always feel like the Asian American kids who suck at math must feel I wish the stereotype applied to me with black people and dancing because I am a black male with very little rhythm. Honestly, I don't even think its totally the rhythm thing, I think its that I'm so uptight about people watching me try to dance. The one time I got wasted and went to a club in South Korea of all places I was the center of attention and Lou Gehrig'd my way through the night

[Schmidty]

I have never danced. If I ever do, I hope someone slaps me.

[Schmidty]

I didn't notice The John Wayne thing, or I would have voted for that.

[CraigSca]

My wife hates dancing. Now that I've ripped a hole in the universe, I'll go back to my corner.

[oykib]

I stay on the floor all night. So I'm like the Iron Horse in being indefatigable.

But I'm not trying to Pipp anybody-- unless that dude was cockblocking me earlier. It's all about chasing the...

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Schmidty

I have never danced.

I'm one unfortunate incident away from being able to say the same thing.

If I ever do, I hope someone slaps me.

QFT.
+1
Ditto.
And any other term of agreement you care to add.

[Raiders Army]

Ninja

[Pumpy Tudors]

I don't really do any "real" dancing. I do silly dancing to pretty much any song. My dancing is more of a parody than anything else. I don't know what my label would be, so I abstain for now.

[Greyroofoo]

Where's the drunk dancer option?

[Celeval]

Halfway between the Lou Gehrig and the One Trick Pony. I'm the background, blend-in dancer - will be on the floor most of the night, but when pressed or questioned, most people there would be unsure if I was even out there. But if all the guys like me weren't, the dance floor would be nearly empty.

[MikeVic]

I don't know if I fit in any of these. I'm not a good dancer, and just kind of move around when i'm up there. But I need some alcohol in me, and either need to be asked by a girl to dance or have a girl on the floor that I want to approach.

[molson]

I think there's at least one category missing.

I only dance when the situation calls for "intentionally" bad dancing. Like the last drunken hour of a wedding. I would never, ever, dance in a serious manner. But if the timing's right, I don't mind busting out my moves in front of people.

[SirFozzie]

Does Dance Dance Revolution count?

[Desnudo]

One two step and I'm back at the bar

[Mustang]

I'm The Turtle

I have one speed - slow. Anything anyone does to coax any more speed out of me on the dance floor results in me recoiling into my shell to ignore you.

[Icy]

Originally Posted by molson

I think there's at least one category missing.

I only dance when the situation calls for "intentionally" bad dancing. Like the last drunken hour of a wedding. I would never, ever, dance in a serious manner. But if the timing's right, I don't mind busting out my moves in front of people.

That category applies to me too, I only dance when everybody is expected to do it (weddings, parties, etc) and i usually do it in a funny way, having a laugh with friends who also only dance when drunk, nothing serious and no trying to look like that i know how to dance. In any other situation, i just tap my foot.

The thing is that it's not that i don't like music, in fact as some of you know, i have played guitar in semi pro rock/metal band for years, but that the music usually danced, it's the kind of music i don't like at all, and the music i like, is danced only shaking your head

It always pissed me when people told me, hey man, you never dance unless drunk, don't you like it? My answer would be, no, i don't dance this sheep's popular music played in every disco unless I'm drunk (and then I become a sheep), but i have probably more musical sense, rhythm and culture that you could ever imagine. Of course i would sound like a stupid arrogant so i just smile and eat my words.

[nilodor]

Originally Posted by wade moore

Failed to label me - I go Country dancing regularly - both line-dancing and couples dancing... I know all of the dances, I show off, I add my own tricks...

But you get me to a traditional club and I'm somewhere between John Wayne and Mr. Easter Island.

I'm in the same boat except I only know latin dances, which is funny considering how large a latin population we have here.

[path12]

None. Some kind of combination of Easter Island, One Trick Pony and Lou.

[Karlifornia]

I knew I forgot at least two big categories....the guy who doesn't dance until he's drunk is a HUGE one. Call it The Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

[MIJB#19]

Originally Posted by Celeval

Halfway between the Lou Gehrig and the One Trick Pony. I'm the background, blend-in dancer - will be on the floor most of the night, but when pressed or questioned, most people there would be unsure if I was even out there. But if all the guys like me weren't, the dance floor would be nearly empty.

I hadn't noticed you being there, but I was there too, doing the samething.

[Maple Leafs]

Sorry... I'm only here because I misread the subject as "Pole Dancing".

Carry on.

[BYU 14]

Definitely one trick Pony with some Cris Angel mixed in. I rely on different levels of intoxication to make it appear I have a bag of tricks. In reality it's all an illusion as I just stumble more the drunker I get.

[korme]

I know a The Lou Gehrig

And yes, he is a douchebag.

[korme]

Originally Posted by Greyroofoo

Where's the drunk dancer option?

+1

I don't think I've ever hit a dance floor even mildly sober. if I am drunk, rhythm comes to me. It is the only way

[Neon_Chaos]

Ninja.

But this is what I do when I'm alone...

[Ironhead]

Guilty of Ninja-dom.

[Groundhog]

I'm a one trick pony most of the time, but if I get stupid drunk I'm definately a Jekylle & Hyde kind of guy... especially if it's a cheesy 70s/80s rock song, where I'll dance, belt out lyrics, AND air guitar all at the same time.