Hey Kobe - tell me how my ass taste

Anthony · 06-23-2008, 07:16 PM

ummm, Kobe, Shaq's got some shit to say about you.

http://www.tmz.com/tmz_main_video?titleid=1626146951

Anthony · 06-23-2008, 07:19 PM

to be honest, i've seen interviews with Shaq where he just sounds slow and stupid. but he actually speaks rather well when he's dropping science on the mic. he sounds more normal.

muns · 06-23-2008, 07:22 PM

Ive been in the camp that shaq needed to stop rapping like 20 years ago, however I got a good laugh at this one, and didnt think is was totally horrible. He seemed to warm up in the middle as he started to feel his flow.

jeff061 · 06-23-2008, 07:26 PM

Shaq may be slow when he talks. But I certainly don't think he ever came across as stupid.

I'm a very blunt person. But this pretty much trumps my life's work in that department I think.

Anthony · 06-23-2008, 07:31 PM

i really would just love for Shaq to win a ring without Kobe, to really hammer home the point that Kobe is nothing without a dominating big man. shit, Kobe and the Lakers didn't even get good until they stole Gasol from Memphis. but seriously, if Shaq ever won again it'd be the greatest thing. what an asterisk there'd be next to Kobe's name.

i don't get the "how my ass taste" part though. don't know what he was trying to say, but i think it's just great - at least we know where Shaq stands with regards to Kobe.

Young Drachma · 06-23-2008, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hell Atlantic

i really would just love for Shaq to win a ring without Kobe, to really hammer home the point that Kobe is nothing without a dominating big man. shit, Kobe and the Lakers didn't even get good until they stole Gasol from Memphis. but seriously, if Shaq ever won again it'd be the greatest thing. what an asterisk there'd be next to Kobe's name.

i don't get the "how my ass taste" part though. don't know what he was trying to say, but i think it's just great - at least we know where Shaq stands with regards to Kobe.

1. He won with Kobe. With Dwayne Wade.

2. How my ass taste is in reference to the girl that Kobe is accused of raping. Reports indicated something about anal sex taking place, among other things.

KWhit · 06-23-2008, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hell Atlantic

i really would just love for Shaq to win a ring without Kobe, to really hammer home the point that Kobe is nothing without a dominating big man. shit, Kobe and the Lakers didn't even get good until they stole Gasol from Memphis. but seriously, if Shaq ever won again it'd be the greatest thing. what an asterisk there'd be next to Kobe's name.

i don't get the "how my ass taste" part though. don't know what he was trying to say, but i think it's just great - at least we know where Shaq stands with regards to Kobe.

You do know that Shaq has already won without Kobe, right?

Young Drachma · 06-23-2008, 07:36 PM

Shaq is seriously the worst rapper ever. Even when people are ghostwriting shit for him, he can't spit worth a lick. It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad. I mean, at least Kobe GOT to the Finals with a bunch o' scrubs. What did Shaq do in Phoenix but LITERALLY drag them down?

Galaxy · 06-23-2008, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark Cloud

Shaq is seriously the worst rapper ever. Even when people are ghostwriting shit for him, he can't spit worth a lick. It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad. I mean, at least Kobe GOT to the Finals with a bunch o' scrubs. What did Shaq do in Phoenix but LITERALLY drag them down?

Scrubs? Odom and Gasol aren't exactly "scrubs". Also, is it fair to compare a player who is 36 years old to a 29-year-old player who is in his prime?

Young Drachma · 06-23-2008, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Scrubs? Odom and Gasol aren't exactly "scrubs". Also, is it fair to compare a player who is 36 years old to a 29-year-old player who is in his prime?

Compared to the awesome threesome in Boston? Scrubs might be harsh, but the sentiment wasn't too far off. You gotta have at least one other bonafide star on that team. Lamar Odom and Pau Gasol don't qualify.

miami_fan · 06-23-2008, 08:01 PM

Slow day in sports huh?

Anthony · 06-23-2008, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KWhit

You do know that Shaq has already won without Kobe, right?

sorry - i meant *another* ring without Kobe.

MrBug708 · 06-23-2008, 08:16 PM

Shaq's popularity is fading into the sun and he's trying everything he can to stay in the limelight.

He even took a shot at The Captain...?

Anthony · 06-23-2008, 08:20 PM

it's funny, ESPN.com printed the following (quoting what Shaq said during his freestyle):

Quote:

He also implored the crowd to sing along to his oft-repeated chorus: "Kobe [expletive], tell me how my [expletive] tastes."

lol, that leaves a lot to the imagination. i would've thought a whole lot worse filling in the blanks.

"Kobe, dear sir, tell me how my clams casino tastes."

Lathum · 06-24-2008, 09:16 AM

I find it interesting that Shaq makes a negative white dude reference in his "freestyle" and it's totaly ok.

MikeVic · 06-24-2008, 09:19 AM

I hate Shaq even more. I saw this really stupid "rap" on three sports shows this morning. It's not even close to good!

MikeVic · 06-24-2008, 09:20 AM

Dola,

And then his dumb comments after... don't make it out to be something it's not? Then don't say stupid things you idiot.

KWhit · 06-24-2008, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

I find it interesting that Shaq makes a negative white dude reference in his "freestyle" and it's totaly ok.

Missed that part. What did he say?

Eaglesfan27 · 06-24-2008, 09:26 AM

Basically, he said it was all in fun and that he didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. Also, he said when him and Kobe were teammates they used to rap with each other and say worse things about each other.

I'm not into rap, but I thought it was pretty tame and in the tradition of freestyle rap to take these sort of shots at each other without it meaning much. Of course, Shaq and Kobe's history makes it seem much worse.

BishopMVP · 06-24-2008, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark Cloud

Compared to the awesome threesome in Boston? Scrubs might be harsh, but the sentiment wasn't too far off. You gotta have at least one other bonafide star on that team. Lamar Odom and Pau Gasol don't qualify.

The "sentiment" was Lakers in 5, maybe 6 before the series started. Pau Gasol was the perfect fit for the triangle offense big man and people were speculating it could be the start of a mini-dynasty.

This rap sucks, but not nearly as much as the media (read: ESPN+clones) breathlessly reporting on it as if it is more relevant than actual sports news.

DanGarion · 06-24-2008, 09:46 AM

Can You Dig It?

Fidatelo · 06-24-2008, 10:14 AM

I love Shaq, and think that rap is awesome.

MikeVic · 06-24-2008, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fidatelo

I love Shaq, and think that rap is awesome.

Fidatelo · 06-24-2008, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeVic

I'm not even sure what that smiley means...

watravaler · 06-24-2008, 12:11 PM

Kobe really can't respond to that...lol...I love Shaq

korme · 06-24-2008, 12:12 PM

I think MikeVic is trying to illustrate that his head exploded.

What were the negative white dude remarks?

rkmsuf · 06-24-2008, 12:14 PM

Hey korme - tell me how my ass taste

sachmo71 · 06-24-2008, 12:16 PM

So the girl told Kobe to tell her how her ass tastes? Or did she do something to Kobe's ass and then had her put the implement into her own mouth, with the understanding that she would tell him how his own ass tastes?

And in the end, wouldn't he expect her to answer with something along the lines of "it tastes like ass."

Fidatelo · 06-24-2008, 12:40 PM

I think he's saying that Kobe will always be behind him. #2. Robin to his Batman. I think he is also saying Kobe can kiss his ass.

I don't think it has anything to do with the rape thing.

st.cronin · 06-24-2008, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sachmo71

So the girl told Kobe to tell her how her ass tastes? Or did she do something to Kobe's ass and then had her put the implement into her own mouth, with the understanding that she would tell him how his own ass tastes?

And in the end, wouldn't he expect her to answer with something along the lines of "it tastes like ass."

This is why I love the fofc.

Lathum · 06-24-2008, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by korme

What were the negative white dude remarks?

it was something like White dudes can't be a Ni**er like me or something.

rkmsuf · 06-24-2008, 01:17 PM

technically they can't

MikeVic · 06-24-2008, 01:19 PM

My head did asplode. What a crappy rappy!

rkmsuf · 06-24-2008, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeVic

My head did asplode. What a crappy rappy!

don't copy that floppy

Fidatelo · 06-24-2008, 01:46 PM

I don't see what is so crappy about it. The first 15-20 seconds are bad, but then he gets going and it is pretty solid. Is he Jay-Z? No. But it's funny as shit and a decent effort.

MikeVic · 06-24-2008, 01:51 PM

Look at the line that Lathum copied! What the hell does that even mean. The lyrics aren't good at all, in the slightest.

Fidatelo · 06-24-2008, 02:22 PM

Lathum has the line wrong. He says:

"No one do it bigger than me
that's like a white boy tryin' to be more nigger than me
that's like a homeless cat havin' more figures than me
that's like Patrick Ewing havin' more rings than me"

I don't see anything wrong with that. It makes sense, and it's not insulting unless you happen to be Patrick Ewing, which also happens to be hilarious. The whole thing is awesome wrapped in a big bow of Shaq.

MikeVic · 06-24-2008, 02:23 PM

Wow, Pumpy will be angry.

Fidatelo · 06-24-2008, 02:27 PM

Why, does he like Patrick Ewing?

MikeVic · 06-24-2008, 02:31 PM

He actually IS Patrick Ewing.

Subby · 06-24-2008, 02:31 PM

THATS LIKE A WHITEBOY TRYIN' TO BE MORE PUMPY THAN ME

Fidatelo · 06-24-2008, 02:31 PM

Oh shit.

Dr. Sak · 06-24-2008, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeVic

Wow, Pumpy will be angry.

Because Kobe use to taste his ass and now Kobe is cheating on him with Shaq?

Anthony · 06-24-2008, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fidatelo

I think he's saying that Kobe will always be behind him. #2. Robin to his Batman.

of all the theories given, i think this one is the most accurate and makes the most sense.

MikeVic · 06-24-2008, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bsak16

Because Kobe use to taste his ass and now Kobe is cheating on him with Shaq?

Yeah, definitely. Now Pumpy needs to release a 16-part hip hop ballad.

Dr. Sak · 06-24-2008, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeVic

Yeah, definitely. Now Pumpy needs to release a 16-part hip hop ballad.

Dude Pumpy sings country music now.

MikeVic · 06-24-2008, 02:42 PM

Oh shit I didn't know. What's the equivalent in country music? Can he just steal that Carrie Underwood song about keying up a souped-up four-wheel drive?

Anthony · 06-24-2008, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeVic

Look at the line that Lathum copied! What the hell does that even mean. The lyrics aren't good at all, in the slightest.

to be honest, that is a blatant freestyle. now, i think if you were to be brought up on stage right this very moment and asked to rap off the top of your head, if you could even get words out, more than 2 sentences worth, i'd be surprised. for a freestyle, its very decent - he didn't stumble. can he freestyle with the best of them? no. but if you can make complete sentences off the top of your head and be able to get the crowd chanting along with you then you can walk away with your head held high.

when in doubt, always go the anal route. how the ass tastes. how the ass smells. what you put in other people's asses. what the other guy's mom puts in her ass. ass is safe when freestyling.

MikeVic · 06-24-2008, 02:45 PM

Eminem did pretty good in that movie.

MikeVic · 06-24-2008, 02:46 PM

Dola,

I just don't like either of them, so I hated the whole Shaq vs Kobe thing... thought it was dead. And now this freestyle thing came up so I'm bitter.

06-23-2008, 07:26 PM	#4
jeff061 Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: MA	Shaq may be slow when he talks. But I certainly don't think he ever came across as stupid. I'm a very blunt person. But this pretty much trumps my life's work in that department I think. __________________

06-23-2008, 08:01 PM	#11
miami_fan Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Land O Lakes FL	Slow day in sports huh? __________________ "Do not be indifferent in the face of historical lies. Do not be indifferent when you see the past being exploited for the needs of contemporary politics. Do not be indifferent when any minority suffers discrimination. For it's the essence of democracy that the majority wields the power, but at the same time, the rights of the minority must be respected." Marian Turski- former prisoner of the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration and death camp

06-24-2008, 09:26 AM	#19
Eaglesfan27 Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: New Jersey	Basically, he said it was all in fun and that he didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. Also, he said when him and Kobe were teammates they used to rap with each other and say worse things about each other. I'm not into rap, but I thought it was pretty tame and in the tradition of freestyle rap to take these sort of shots at each other without it meaning much. Of course, Shaq and Kobe's history makes it seem much worse. __________________ Retired GM of the eNFL 2007 Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles (19-0 record.) GM of the WOOF 2006 Doggie Bowl Champion Atlantic City Gamblers. GM of the IHOF 2019 and 2022 IHOF Bowl Champion Asheville Axemen. Last edited by Eaglesfan27 : 06-24-2008 at 09:26 AM.

06-24-2008, 09:46 AM	#21
DanGarion Coordinator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: PNW	Can You Dig It? __________________ Los Angeles Dodgers Check out the FOFC Groups on Facebook! and Reddit! DON'T REPORT ME BRO!

06-24-2008, 10:14 AM	#22
Fidatelo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Winnipeg, MB	I love Shaq, and think that rap is awesome. __________________ "Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime."

06-23-2008, 07:19 PM	#2
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	to be honest, i've seen interviews with Shaq where he just sounds slow and stupid. but he actually speaks rather well when he's dropping science on the mic. he sounds more normal.

06-23-2008, 07:22 PM	#3
muns Pro Starter Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Baltimore MD	Ive been in the camp that shaq needed to stop rapping like 20 years ago, however I got a good laugh at this one, and didnt think is was totally horrible. He seemed to warm up in the middle as he started to feel his flow.

06-23-2008, 07:31 PM	#5
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	i really would just love for Shaq to win a ring without Kobe, to really hammer home the point that Kobe is nothing without a dominating big man. shit, Kobe and the Lakers didn't even get good until they stole Gasol from Memphis. but seriously, if Shaq ever won again it'd be the greatest thing. what an asterisk there'd be next to Kobe's name. i don't get the "how my ass taste" part though. don't know what he was trying to say, but i think it's just great - at least we know where Shaq stands with regards to Kobe.

06-23-2008, 07:36 PM	#8
Young Drachma Dark Cloud Join Date: Apr 2001	Shaq is seriously the worst rapper ever. Even when people are ghostwriting shit for him, he can't spit worth a lick. It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad. I mean, at least Kobe GOT to the Finals with a bunch o' scrubs. What did Shaq do in Phoenix but LITERALLY drag them down?

06-23-2008, 08:16 PM	#13
MrBug708 Head Coach Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Whittier	Shaq's popularity is fading into the sun and he's trying everything he can to stay in the limelight. He even took a shot at The Captain...?

06-24-2008, 09:16 AM	#15
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	I find it interesting that Shaq makes a negative white dude reference in his "freestyle" and it's totaly ok.

06-24-2008, 09:19 AM	#16
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	I hate Shaq even more. I saw this really stupid "rap" on three sports shows this morning. It's not even close to good!

06-24-2008, 09:20 AM	#17
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	Dola, And then his dumb comments after... don't make it out to be something it's not? Then don't say stupid things you idiot.

06-24-2008, 12:11 PM	#25
watravaler High School JV Join Date: Jun 2005	Kobe really can't respond to that...lol...I love Shaq

06-24-2008, 12:12 PM	#26
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	I think MikeVic is trying to illustrate that his head exploded. What were the negative white dude remarks?

06-24-2008, 12:14 PM	#27
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	Hey korme - tell me how my ass taste __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

06-24-2008, 12:16 PM	#28
sachmo71 The boy who cried Trout Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: TX	So the girl told Kobe to tell her how her ass tastes? Or did she do something to Kobe's ass and then had her put the implement into her own mouth, with the understanding that she would tell him how his own ass tastes? And in the end, wouldn't he expect her to answer with something along the lines of "it tastes like ass."

06-24-2008, 12:40 PM	#29
Fidatelo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Winnipeg, MB	I think he's saying that Kobe will always be behind him. #2. Robin to his Batman. I think he is also saying Kobe can kiss his ass. I don't think it has anything to do with the rape thing. __________________ "Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime."

06-24-2008, 01:17 PM	#32
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	technically they can't __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

06-24-2008, 01:19 PM	#33
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	My head did asplode. What a crappy rappy!

06-24-2008, 01:46 PM	#35
Fidatelo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Winnipeg, MB	I don't see what is so crappy about it. The first 15-20 seconds are bad, but then he gets going and it is pretty solid. Is he Jay-Z? No. But it's funny as shit and a decent effort. __________________ "Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime."

06-24-2008, 01:51 PM	#36
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	Look at the line that Lathum copied! What the hell does that even mean. The lyrics aren't good at all, in the slightest.

06-24-2008, 02:22 PM	#37
Fidatelo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Winnipeg, MB	Lathum has the line wrong. He says: "No one do it bigger than me that's like a white boy tryin' to be more nigger than me that's like a homeless cat havin' more figures than me that's like Patrick Ewing havin' more rings than me" I don't see anything wrong with that. It makes sense, and it's not insulting unless you happen to be Patrick Ewing, which also happens to be hilarious. The whole thing is awesome wrapped in a big bow of Shaq. __________________ "Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime."

06-24-2008, 02:23 PM	#38
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	Wow, Pumpy will be angry.

06-24-2008, 02:27 PM	#39
Fidatelo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Winnipeg, MB	Why, does he like Patrick Ewing? __________________ "Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime."

06-24-2008, 02:31 PM	#40
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	He actually IS Patrick Ewing.

06-24-2008, 02:31 PM	#41
Subby lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: sans pants	THATS LIKE A WHITEBOY TRYIN' TO BE MORE PUMPY THAN ME __________________ Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com

06-24-2008, 02:31 PM	#42
Fidatelo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Winnipeg, MB	Oh shit. __________________ "Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime."

06-24-2008, 02:42 PM	#47
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	Oh shit I didn't know. What's the equivalent in country music? Can he just steal that Carrie Underwood song about keying up a souped-up four-wheel drive?

06-24-2008, 02:45 PM	#49
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	Eminem did pretty good in that movie.

06-24-2008, 02:46 PM	#50
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	Dola, I just don't like either of them, so I hated the whole Shaq vs Kobe thing... thought it was dead. And now this freestyle thing came up so I'm bitter. Last edited by MikeVic : 06-24-2008 at 02:46 PM.

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