So, some chicks think I'm pretty hot

Karlifornia · 06-28-2008, 07:17 PM

So, like...I get laid quite a bit. I mean, I'm not a manwhore or anything, but let's just say that I don't consider a night a success unless I've nailed a blonde, a brunette, and redhead (not at the same time....usually).

I recently had penis enlargement surgery, and last time I was at the dentist, he grabbed a handful of shaft and said "Hey, sonny..you've got quite a cock there. You should really start wearing wranglers so that the 1 or 2 girls that don't already find you gorgeous have another reason to bang you!"

So, I go to the piggly wiggly, and this supermodel is working the register. I know she's a supermodel because she's hot. I guess I'd rank her on the low end of supermodels, but I had 15 minutes to spare, so I was like, "why not give her the best moment of her lifetime. A boning. By me."

I mean, I'm really hot. I get this. I would probably have sex with myself. I'm not some kinda faggy homo queer, though. I hear they like to drink semen from spoons. Fags.

Anyway back to how hot I am. I went to Thanksgiving dinner last year wearing nothing but a banana hammock, tanning oil, and I was carrying a sparkler in each hand. All of the women present started furiously masturbating. I passed by a full length mirror on the way to the dinner, table, and I couldn't help but rub a quick one out to myself. I mean, I'm only human, right? Actually, no. I'm not human. I am an Earthbound sex God.

Women flock to me like a queer on cock buffet night.

Julio Riddols · 06-28-2008, 07:21 PM

Quit stealing my inner monologues for yourself.

Pumpy Tudors · 06-28-2008, 07:42 PM

epic fail imo

Karlifornia · 06-28-2008, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

epic fail imo

Sounds like someone's mad because I won't have sex with him.

Cringer · 06-28-2008, 07:50 PM

To be fair to Karl, trying to make a parody of an already lame thread isn't easy.

st.cronin · 06-28-2008, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cringer

To be fair to Karl, trying to make a parody of an already lame thread isn't easy.

I don't believe anybody actually asked him to, though.

Suburban Rhythm · 06-28-2008, 09:30 PM

I think this is better than the original

st.cronin · 06-28-2008, 09:33 PM

No. Better would have been: So, some trannies think I'm hot stuff.

st.cronin · 06-28-2008, 09:37 PM

dola: Also it would have been better had it been started by, say, Franklin Noble.

timmynausea · 06-28-2008, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

I think this is better than the original

Agreed.

EagleFan · 06-28-2008, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

I think this is better than the original

A blank thread would be better than the original.

korme · 06-29-2008, 02:30 AM

Terry B.?

Flasch186 · 06-29-2008, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flasched

So, some Chix think I'm pretty hot
So, like...I get laid quite a bit. I mean, I'm not a MW or AT, but let's just say that I don't consider a night a success unless I've nailed a BL a BR, and RH (not at the same time....usually).

I recently had Ps+ surgery, and last time I was at the D, he grabbed a handful of shaft and said "Hey, S ..you've got quite a C there. You should really start wearing wranglers so that the 1 or 2 girls that don't already find you gorgeous have another reason to bang you!"

So, I go to the PW, and this BL is working the register. I know she's a BL because she's hot. I guess I'd rank her on the low end of Bls, but I had 15 minutes to spare, so I was like, "why not give her the best moment of her lifetime. A boning. By me."

I mean, I'm really hot. I get this. I would probably have sex with myself. I'm not some kinda fHq, though. I hear they like to drink semen from spoons. fs.

Anyway back to how hot I am. I went to Thxgvng dinner last year wearing nothing but a b_h, tanning oil, and I was carrying a sparkler in each hand. All of the Br present started furiously masturbating. I passed by a full length mirror on the way to the dinner, table, and I couldn't help but rub a quick one out to myself. I mean, I'm only human, right? Actually, no. I'm not human. I am an EsG.

Women flock to me like a f on C buffet night.

Flasch186 · 06-29-2008, 01:25 PM

BtW I vote for this 1

DeToxRox · 06-29-2008, 01:27 PM

Karl - A better story is how you cheated on your girlfriend and got chylmedia and then gave it to her.

Apathetic Lurker · 06-29-2008, 02:14 PM

Karl- Even better would if you told us how you tapped Vern Troyer on a drunken and cocaine fueled sex spree

Karlifornia · 06-30-2008, 04:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeToxRox

Karl - A better story is how you cheated on your girlfriend and got chylmedia and then gave it to her.

Aw, geez...I'm never gonna live that down, am I? Well, at least it wasn't AIDS.....I think.

Lorena · 07-02-2008, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

I think this is better than the original

Yup, at least Karlifornia's responses are 1 sentence and easy to read.

MikeVic · 07-02-2008, 10:27 AM

Pumpy Tudors · 07-02-2008, 10:29 AM

So that's the secret.

MikeVic · 07-02-2008, 10:34 AM

They are captivating.

flere-imsaho · 07-02-2008, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

No. Better would have been: So, some trannies think I'm hot stuff.

I'm still waiting for this thread.

st.cronin · 07-02-2008, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flere-imsaho

I'm still waiting for this thread.

me too

06-28-2008, 07:21 PM	#2
Julio Riddols College Prospect Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bryson Shitty, NC	Quit stealing my inner monologues for yourself. __________________ Recklessly enthused, stubbornly amused. FUCK EA

06-28-2008, 07:42 PM	#3
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	epic fail imo __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.

06-28-2008, 07:50 PM	#5
Cringer Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Edinburg,TX	To be fair to Karl, trying to make a parody of an already lame thread isn't easy. __________________ You Stole Fizzy Lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and steralized, so you get NOTHING! You lose!

06-28-2008, 09:30 PM	#7
Suburban Rhythm Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Pittsburgh	I think this is better than the original __________________ "Do you guys play fast tempos with odd time signatures?" "Yeah" "Cool!!"

06-28-2008, 09:33 PM	#8
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	No. Better would have been: So, some trannies think I'm hot stuff. __________________ co-commish: bb-bbcf.net knives out

06-28-2008, 09:37 PM	#9
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	dola: Also it would have been better had it been started by, say, Franklin Noble. __________________ co-commish: bb-bbcf.net knives out

06-29-2008, 02:30 AM	#12
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	Terry B.?

06-29-2008, 01:25 PM	#14
Flasch186 Coordinator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Jacksonville, FL	BtW I vote for this 1 __________________ Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL

06-29-2008, 01:27 PM	#15
DeToxRox Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Michigan	Karl - A better story is how you cheated on your girlfriend and got chylmedia and then gave it to her.

06-29-2008, 02:14 PM	#16
Apathetic Lurker College Prospect Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Buffalo,NY	Karl- Even better would if you told us how you tapped Vern Troyer on a drunken and cocaine fueled sex spree Last edited by Apathetic Lurker : 06-29-2008 at 02:15 PM.

07-02-2008, 10:27 AM	#19
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	Ow.

07-02-2008, 10:29 AM	#20
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	So that's the secret. __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.

07-02-2008, 10:34 AM	#21
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	They are captivating.

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