Ben E Lou, Tell Me How My Ass Taste

[RedKingGold]

Like you were going to avoid this:

Week 15, 2012
played in Lowcountry, SC
42 degrees, rain, 7 mph wind

Havana Fuego	7	3	10	7	-	27
Lowcountry Gators	0	7	0	7	-	14

Week 1, 2013

played in Havana, FL
69 degrees, fair, 8 mph wind

Lowcountry Gators	3	10	3	7	-	23
Havana Fuego	0	14	10	3	-	27

Week 17, 2021
played in Charleston, MN
15 degrees, snow, 11 mph wind

Lackawanna Coal Crackers	7	14	7	6	6	-	40
Charleston Chew	10	10	0	14	0	-	34

Neither snow, nor rain, nor sim patch error will stop me from kicking your ass lately!

[RedKingGold]

BTW, for those who don't know (or possibly even care), this is in reference to:

Front Office Football Central - View Single Post - RedKingGold, Tell Me How My Ass Taste

[Ben E Lou]

OK, uh, the first one can't count. Already clinched.

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut.

Stupid sudden death.

[Ben E Lou]

Havana 13 BOX LOG Lowcountry 41 5-3-0 5-3-0 TEAM STATISTICS 28 att, 123 yds, 4.39 ypc. RUSH 27 att, 175 yds, 6.48 ypc. 21 for 36, 243 yds, 1 TD, 3 INT. PASS 15 for 26, 247 yds, 4 TD, 2 INT. 2 for 13 yds. SACKED 3 for 13 yds. 353 TOTAL 409 BEST PERFORMANCES: OFFENSE RG T. Beauregard: 4 for 7 KRB, 1pnk,0sk. TE T. DeLorraine: 6 catches, 64yds, 0TD. RB W. Ackerman: 18-65, 0TD. 0/0/0 rec. RB W. Irwin: 24-170, 0TD. 1/12/0 rec. SE S. Van Cleave: 4 catches, 85yds, 2TD. FL W. Barnes: 5 catches, 68yds, 1TD. BEST PERFORMANCES: DEFENSE RCB S. Huntley: 1t,1a,1int,1pd, 111.2 SS M. Mungro: 4t,2a,1int,0pd, 91.2 SLB B. Sutton: 4t, 3a, 1sk, 1h, 0kd. MLB J. Caniff: 4t, 4a, 1sk, 0h, 0kd. LCB R. Gunn: 7t,2a,1int,1pd, 89.3. LDT G. Thornridge: 4t, 1a, 1sk, 0h, 1kd. BEST PERFORMANCES: SPECIAL TEAMS C. Springs: 1-1 XP, 2-2 FG. S. Bush: 4 pnt, 164 yds, 4in20. W. Irwin: 1-89-1TD pr. 0-0-0TD kr, 0tk. S. Wellstone: 5-5 XP, 2-2 FG. INJURIES G T Beauregard: Sprained Ankle-1 wk OLB D Burton: Strained Hamstring-Unknown. G E Kamnik: Heat Exhaustion-100%. WR S Van Cleave: Bruised Ribcage-1 wk

[RedKingGold]

Trend > Single performance.



Nice to have our offense run 15 or so plays before you even take a snap.

[Ben E Lou]

"Trend."

[cuervo72]

Ah, one of the great forgotten B-sides - from Herman's Hermits.

Lackawanna finally beat Charleston.
Baby, baby, tell me how my ass taste.

[EagleFan]

Can you two keep your bedroom talk out of the forum?

[Kodos]

I'd just like to point out that over the course of a dozen seasons or so in IHOF, SkyDog has never beaten me. Now, that, my friends, is a trend.

[cartman]

Originally Posted by Kodos

I'd just like to point that over the course of a dozen seasons or so in IHOF, SkyDog has never beaten me. Now, that, my friends, is a trend.

Yes, but your ass is inside a glass dome, so kinda hard for SkyDog to taste.

[Kodos]

But I sure can smell it in here.

[Chubby]

I figured RKG always gets his assed kicked because he's lost interest in FOF...

[RedKingGold]

Originally Posted by Chubby

I figured RKG always gets his assed kicked because he's lost interest in FOF...

Nah. Just lost interest in a league that thinks it's elitist. That's why I probably uploaded three times over a whole season and let the AI run my team until Week 7.

"shrug"

[Chubby]

Originally Posted by RedKingGold

Nah. Just lost interest in a league that thinks it's elitist. That's why I probably uploaded three times over a whole season and let the AI run my team until Week 7.

"shrug"

This would seem to imply you had interest to begin with.

[RedKingGold]

Originally Posted by Chubby

This would seem to imply you had interest to begin with.

If I felt that IHOF was the most challenging FOF MP league, I likely would've stayed there.

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by RedKingGold

Nah. Just lost interest in a league that thinks it's elitist. That's why I probably uploaded three times over a whole season and let the AI run my team until Week 7.

"shrug"

We're really feeling your loss. Big shoes to fill. We miss your non-participating ass just as much over in the RFL. I'd honestly take Hell Atlantic over you. At least he cares about his teams, and participates.

[RedKingGold]

Originally Posted by Kodos

We're really feeling your loss. Big shoes to fill. We miss your non-participating ass just as much over in the RFL. I'd honestly take Hell Atlantic over you. At least he cares about his teams, and participates.

I'll miss you and your line-drawing. Well, not really.

[Kodos]

Yes. Clearly I should have kept a guy on indefinitely who never hit deadlines, checked in on his team, or even responded to PMs. I'm obviously at fault there. If you're going to quit (like you always do), at least give people the courtesy of saying that you're quitting so you can be replaced with an owner who doesn't suck ass.

[RedKingGold]

Originally Posted by Kodos

Yes. Clearly I should have kept a guy on indefinitely who never hit deadlines, checked in on his team, or even responded to PMs. I'm obviously at fault there. If you're going to quit (like you always do), at least give people the courtesy of saying that you're quitting so you can be replaced with an owner who doesn't suck ass.

Wow. You are really obtuse. If you look back at my time at IHOF, Ive:

-Never held up the draft. Once. Never. Every single time I was on the clock, I made my pick within an hour. I can point out many other instances of people who you would consider to be "good owners" who did hold up the draft.

-I always responded to PM's in all my leagues (especially when they were based on trade offers).

-I've never held up a sim (which recently happened at IHOF) and always had mandatory files in at all times. Further, I think holding up sims for owners is dumb, and one of the other reasons I left IHOF.

My inattention only occured during the last regular season, when I just got fed up with you and other owners just like you. Just because people do not play the game the same way as you do, does not mean they are bad owners, human beings, or other.

It is you who vomit this "tester v. nontester" crap, without even realizing facts. In over three years of FOF MP, I did approximately 1 week of testing. When I figured out a way to help the FOF community by trying to determine what combines and draft skills correlate, I shared it with the community for their benefit.

Other owners in "your league" who did the same were chastised, branded as cheaters, and mocked publicly at the forum.

That is the kind of league I do not want to be in.

If you want to spew venom, keep it at people who are the real violators, and stop spreading falses information here and elsewhere.

[Kodos]

Just as a clarification, the PMs you didn't respond to were related to the RFL. I sent you PMs both over here and in GEFL, but you couldn't be bothered to respond and let me know that you were no longer interested in playing in the RFL. Instead, you signed up, claimed your team, then never once hit a deadline before I got fed up and kicked you out. Nothing I said above was false.

Other owners in "your league" who did the same were chastised, branded as cheaters, and mocked publicly at the forum.

Little melodramatic, eh? There were no ritual burnings or slayings over at IHOF, as far as I can recall.

I'll stand behind my assertion that using information that is hidden in the actual game and that is accessed using a second-party utility to gain an advantage is cheating. If no advantage was gained from it, then why use that information? People figuring out stuff from hints within the game itself is great. I have no problem with that. The busy squirrel gets the nut.

Anyhow, I don't really enjoy arguing. I've said my peace and will step away now. Good luck in (and to) your new league. Feel free to be a stranger.

[RedKingGold]

Originally Posted by Kodos

Just as a clarification, the PMs you didn't respond to were related to the RFL. I sent you PMs both over here and in GEFL, but you couldn't be bothered to respond and let me know that you were no longer interested in playing in the RFL. Instead, you signed up, claimed your team, then never once hit a deadline before I got fed up and kicked you out. Nothing I said above was false.

You sent me a PM on 07/31 at 3:13 PM. I replied on FOFC on 08/01 at 9:32 AM. I sent a reply PM as soon as I had time. With your lack of patience, I'm surprised you even waited that long.

Guess I was just too immersed to get back to you. "shrug"

Little melodramatic, eh? There were no ritual burnings or slayings over at IHOF, as far as I can recall.

I'll stand behind my assertion that using information that is hidden in the actual game and that is accessed using a second-party utility to gain an advantage is cheating. If no advantage was gained from it, then why use that information? People figuring out stuff from hints within the game itself is great. I have no problem with that. The busy squirrel gets the nut.

Anyhow, I don't really enjoy arguing. I've said my peace and will step away now. Good luck in (and to) your new league. Feel free to be a stranger.

No problem. Enjoy being an ass.

[cuervo72]

Originally Posted by Kodos

People figuring out stuff from hints within the game itself is great. I have no problem with that. The busy squirrel gets the nut.

I get what you're saying with using data that was meant to be hidden. But I'm sorry, I just have to laugh at this part. Have any major revelations come from that method? I try to play by intuition, but I'd be completely in the dark if not for secondhand information from others pounding on the game engine.

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by cuervo72

I get what you're saying with using data that was meant to be hidden. But I'm sorry, I just have to laugh at this part. Have any major revelations come from that method? I try to play by intuition, but I'd be completely in the dark if not for secondhand information from others pounding on the game engine.

Admittedly, it is likely not a big gain from the popularity tell. It's more the principle for me. If there is truly nothing to be gained by it, why bother doing it?

I stated my feelings about it over at IHOF, and since then have let it drop. Clearly, the majority didn't feel it was a big deal. As far as I'm concerned, the issue is over.

And you are 100% correct about us being in the dark without the researchers. Those folks have provided us with information that Jim for whatever reason didn't see fit to share. And I have benefited from those folks who were willing to share their info, just like everyone else. I just wish that the game wasn't so unintuitive. And that you could actually gameplan effectively on defense.

Okay, now I'm really done.

P.S. RKG - If my presence made you leave IHOF, then I'll consider that an accomplishment on par with my championship over there.

[RedKingGold]

Originally Posted by Kodos

P.S. RKG - If my presence made you leave IHOF, then I'll consider that an accomplishment on par with my championship over there.

You think too highly of yourself and overvalue your importance. I guess you are too stupid to realize it.

[Buzzbee]

Kodos, no reason to get nasty. It won't accomplish anything. If RKG didn't enjoy his time in IHOF, so be it. I'd rather him step down and move along to a league that he enjoys, thus allowing someone else an opportunity to see if IHOF fits their tastes, rather than mailing it in and becoming bitter or devisive. I always hate to see an owner go, but realize that while there are real life factors that sometimes get in the way, it isn't impossible for it to be the game, the people or the league that may not fit.

Please, both of you, this isn't helping anything.

Buzzbee

[Chubby]

Originally Posted by RedKingGold

If I felt that IHOF was the most challenging FOF MP league, I likely would've stayed there.

So which is it, not the most challenging or you lost interest because you didn't build the team or some new reason?

I guess all those conference and league titles got old after a while... oh wait...

[Chubby]

Originally Posted by Buzzbee

Kodos, no reason to get nasty. It won't accomplish anything. If RKG didn't enjoy his time in IHOF, so be it. I'd rather him step down and move along to a league that he enjoys, thus allowing someone else an opportunity to see if IHOF fits their tastes, rather than mailing it in and becoming bitter or devisive. I always hate to see an owner go, but realize that while there are real life factors that sometimes get in the way, it isn't impossible for it to be the game, the people or the league that may not fit.

Please, both of you, this isn't helping anything.

Buzzbee

I think Kodos' issue (as is mine) is that RKG is being a hypocrite and won't just come out and say why he's really quitting. Its a different excuse each post. If he'd just say "I suck at FOF and would like to find a league where I can cherrypick titles (despite being in an easy division for much of IHOF) since I clearly can't do it on my own merit. I'd of course prefer taking over a team with talent built in so I can blame the former owner if needed"

[Buzzbee]

Chubby, does it matter why he quit? And is anything he says going to change your mind?

I didn't think so. You will beleive what you want to believe regargless. So, no reason for anyone to get their panties in a wad.

Now, put the sticks down.

[RedKingGold]

Originally Posted by Chubby

I think Kodos' issue (as is mine) is that RKG is being a hypocrite and won't just come out and say why he's really quitting. Its a different excuse each post. If he'd just say "I suck at FOF and would like to find a league where I can cherrypick titles (despite being in an easy division for much of IHOF) since I clearly can't do it on my own merit. I'd of course prefer taking over a team with talent built in so I can blame the former owner if needed"

Fair enough.

Why I Left IHOF - IHOF Forums

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by RedKingGold

You think too highly of yourself and overvalue your importance. I guess you are too stupid to realize it.

Au contraire. Clear, unsolicited evidence that I am perhaps the most important figure in the FOF multiplayer universe.

Evidence that I am undervalued and easily smart enough to realize it

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Kodos

Au contraire. Clear, unsolicited evidence that I am perhaps the most important figure in the FOF multiplayer universe.

No doubt putting you in line to receive a phone call from the Bay Area any time now. I mean, between Al Davis & the Niners, it seems inevitable.

[Kodos]

I sure ain't working for Davis. And my loathing for the 49ers would preclude me from taking over there. I'm afraid IHOF is stuck with me.

[RedKingGold]

My undrafted 41/43 creeper kicker picked up after training camp > Your 84/84 third round pick (ironically nicknamed "Automatic")

Official time out for the two-minute warning.

Havana: Pro formation with two tight ends, strength is left. The defense is in a 34 and 2-deep bump-and-run coverage, expecting the pass. 2-9-LWC33 (4Q: 02:00) Randy Hastings pass fell incomplete, intended for WR Jimmy Cote. DE Brad Flannery hurried the quarterback into a bad throw. The quarterback threw into double coverage.

Havana: Strong formation with two tight ends, strength is left. The defense is in a 34 with dime personnel and 2-deep bump-and-run coverage, keying aggressively on the pass. 3-9-LWC33 (4Q: 01:51) Randy Hastings scrambled for 4 yards. Tackled by ILB Jared Caniff.

4-5-LWC29 (4Q: 01:19) Chris Shepard attempted a 46 yard field goal and succeeded. Havana 31, Lowcountry 28

(4Q: 01:14) Adrian Pote kicked off 76 yards from the HAV30. Touchback.

Lowcountry: I formation, strength is left. The defense is in a 34 with nickel personnel and 3-deep zone coverage, expecting the pass. 1-10-LWC20 (4Q: 01:14) Harold Spence pass completed to TE Marcus Bennett for 6 yards. The receiver went out of bounds. Tackled by OLB Kris Elliott.

Lowcountry: Strong formation, strength is left. The defense is in a 34 with nickel personnel and weak-side man, otherwise cover-7 zone coverage, expecting the pass. 2-4-LWC26 (4Q: 01:04) Harold Spence pass fell incomplete, intended for TE Marcus Bennett. ILB Bo Sutton hurried the quarterback into a bad throw. The quarterback threw away from the double coverage.

Lowcountry: Single-Back formation, strength is right. The defense is in a 34 with dime personnel and 2-deep bump-and-run coverage, keying aggressively on the pass. 3-4-LWC26 (4Q: 00:57) Harold Spence pass completed to WR Kelvin Moe for 19 yards. Tackled by CB Sherman Huntley. The receiver ran his route right over the middle of the field. Moe gained 2 yards after the catch. The quarterback threw away from the double coverage. PENALTY: Havana was called for Defensive Holding. The penalty was declined.

Lowcountry: Single-Back formation, strength is left. The defense is in a 34 with dime personnel and 2-deep bump-and-run coverage, keying aggressively on the pass. 1-10-LWC45 (4Q: 00:51) Harold Spence pass fell incomplete, intended for WR Will Barnes. DE Jamal Perez hurried the quarterback into a bad throw. The quarterback threw into double coverage.

Lowcountry: I formation, with the second wideout in the slot, strength is left. The defense is in a 34 with dime personnel and strong-side man, otherwise cover-7 zone coverage, keying aggressively on the pass. 2-10-LWC45 (4Q: 00:41) Harold Spence pass fell incomplete, intended for WR Nathan Davidson. DE Keith Winslett hurried the quarterback into a bad throw.

Lowcountry: Single-Back formation with trips receivers, strength is right. The defense is in a 34 with dime personnel and 3-deep zone coverage, keying aggressively on the pass. 3-10-LWC45 (4Q: 00:35) Harold Spence pass completed to WR Nathan Davidson for 12 yards. Tackled by CB Barry Sweeney. The quarterback threw away from the double coverage. Havana's Drew Gomez was hurt on the play. This appears to be a minor ankle injury. He should be able to remain in the game.

(4Q: 00:35) Lowcountry called a time out.

Lowcountry: Strong formation, strength is left. The defense is in a 34 with prevent personnel and 4-deep zone coverage, keying aggressively on the pass. Huntley and Horner are blitzing. 1-10-HAV43 (4Q: 00:24) Harold Spence pass fell incomplete, intended for WR Will Barnes. CB Barry Sweeney defended the pass.

Lowcountry: Strong formation, strength is right. The defense is in a 34 with prevent personnel and 4-deep zone coverage, keying aggressively on the pass. 2-10-HAV43 (4Q: 00:14) Harold Spence pass completed to RB Richie Joseph for 16 yards. Tackled by CB Sherman Huntley. Joseph gained 11 yards after the catch.

(4Q: 00:14) Lowcountry called a time out.

1-10-HAV27 (4Q: 00:03) Automatic Wellstone attempted a 44 yard field goal and missed wide to the left.

Final Score: Havana Fuego 31, Lowcountry Gators 28 THE FUEGO ARE WFC CONFERENCE CHAMPIONS!

[Passacaglia]

Wow, MP FOF sure sounds fun!

[flere-imsaho]

I love this thread.

[Kodos]

FWIW, RKG and I kissed and made up eventually. Now I just admire him for the sexy manbeast that he is.

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by RedKingGold

Fair enough.

Why I Left IHOF - IHOF Forums

You never posted a "Why I Came Back 2 IHOF" thread.

[RedKingGold]

Well, I only came back to change my team identity once more. Three times in one year is never enough.

[Ben E Lou]

That was seriously the greatest FOF MP game I've ever seen. No FOF weirdness at all, just titans battling it out. Stupid kicker.

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by RedKingGold

Well, I only came back to change my team identity once more. Three times in one year is never enough.

Just trying to keep Cuervo busy.

[RedKingGold]

Originally Posted by Ben E Lou

That was seriously the greatest FOF MP game I've ever seen. No FOF weirdness at all, just titans battling it out. Stupid kicker.

+1. Was almost hoping for overtime.

Almost

[Pumpy Tudors]

this aids my scavenger hunt for "five threads in which chubby has said 'he won't just come out and say what he means'"

now up to four

thanks

[Ben E Lou]

Conference Finals, 2026


played in Charleston, MN

27 degrees, fair, 1 mph wind

Lackawanna Coal Crackers	7	0	0	0	-	7
Charleston Chew	0	7	7	10	-	24

Scoring Summary
1Q: 06:39 LCK - Jimmie Pritchard 12 run (Andrew Wilcox extra point)
2Q: 11:48 CHA - Justin Horn 10 pass from Lincoln Wallman (Mickey Lindstrom extra point)
3Q: 06:53 CHA - David Ellison 49 run (Mickey Lindstrom extra point)
4Q: 14:36 CHA - Ernest Browning 6 pass from Lincoln Wallman (Mickey Lindstrom extra point)
4Q: 05:19 CHA - Mickey Lindstrom 37 field goal

Team Statistics	LCK	CHA
Record	14-5	14-4
First Downs	23	19
- by Rushing	8	6
- by Passing	15	12
- by Penalty	0	1
Total Net Yards	370	381
- Offensive Plays	68	59
- Yards per Play	5.44	6.46
Net Rushing Yards	129	185
- Rushing Attempts	26	31
- Yards per Rush	4.96	5.97
Net Passing Yards	241	196
- Att./Comp./Intrcpt	41 - 23 - 3	26 - 17 - 0
- Gross Passing Yards	249	213
- Sacks/Yards Lost	1/8	2/17
- Yards per Pass Play	5.74	7.00
Fumbles/Lost	1/0	2/1
3rd Down Conversions	4/12	6/13
- Avg. YtG on 3rd Down	6.5	7.3
4th Down Conversions	0/1	0/0
Penalties/Yards	4/20	4/33
Punt Returns/Yards	4/-1	2/-7
Kick Returns/Yards	4/85	2/42
Interception Ret./Yards	0/0	3/26
2pt Conversions	0/0	0/0
Red Zone Visits	1	2
- Red Zone TDs/FGs	1/0	2/0
Avg. Drive Start	OWN 20	OWN 32
Time of Possession	31:45	28:15

[MalcPow]

It's exciting to see that by 2026 Minnesota will have annexed most of the eastern seaboard.

[RedKingGold]

Ben, you have your OWN thread for this.

(Keep your grandstanding out of my thread, you ass!)

[Ben E Lou]

Originally Posted by MalcPow

It's exciting to see that by 2026 Minnesota will have annexed most of the eastern seaboard.

Since becoming the Charleston Chew in 2014, we have not lost a playoff game on our special Lowcountry Frozen Tundra.

[Pumpy Tudors]

I'm still waiting to hear how RedKingGold's ass tastes.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

I'm still waiting to hear how RedKingGold's ass tastes.

Kind of like Devin Hester's is what I hear.

[RedKingGold]

You'll know as soon as I find out.

[Ben E Lou]

Tell me how losing the conference championship to Charleston taste.

Even better, tell me how Jim Gindin ass taste:

RKG vs. Ben E Lou in 6.3x: 1-7 record, 13.1 ppg.