Lord, I hate Viagra commercials...

Chief Rum · 03-28-2003, 09:25 PM

There are lots of stupid commercials, and I actually suppose I hate some other commercials a lot worse than these ones. But they all suck. I'm just talking about Viagra because that's the one I saw.

The first one (not the one I just saw) was with the guy walking into his work for a day's work, and everyone keeps asking him if something has changed somehow. And I just got this picture of this guy walking through this office with a stiffy that just won't go away. I mean, SOMETHING IS DIFFERENT, right?

(That's why everyone's asking...)

I was just thinking about that. You know, you're at breakfast, getting ready for work. You have your eggs and your coffee, and then you think, "Hey, why don't I pop some Viagra now, so I can have a hard on all day at work, and then have it go down just as I am coming home to the wife?"

You proceed to do so and drive on into work, with the car seat backed up a few inches, of course. You get into a fender-bender because you can't reach the brake pedal. You got lucky, though, because the guy you hit was intimdated by your tented pants, and just wanted to get the hell out of there.

So you show up at work and try to hide your manliness with your briefcase, because if you make it obvious, commercial's over, right? So you walk to your window office denying you got a haircut or have been working out.

Then what do you do? You sit at your desk, afraid to get more coffee, because you think that will make you go to the bathroom, and you know there isn't enough room for you to go, because, hey, you're pissing with a hard on. Stand too close, and it's not likely to contain the blast, and you'll no doubt get splash back, too. Stand far away for safety purposes, though, and the boss will walk on--looking at you pissing into a urinal from seven feet away with a rager. Yeah, that will get you a raise.

So you stay at the desk instead, and weigh the consequences of introducing your problem to your secretary, so at least you didn't waste a pill, but you're pretty sure your wife won't understand that one, and your secretary is, of course, not stereotypically beautiful, but is actually an old battleaxe who half-asses her way through the workday.

Someone comes in and asks you for some staples--they have run out, and your secretary told them to fuck off--and you realize with a shock that your staples are in the front middle pullout drawer of your desk--and you can't pull the drawer out, because of a potentially mind-numbing experience of pain. So here's this co-worker--the hottest chick in the office, of course--who is watching you try to work your chair lower, and then slump low in your chair, just so you can slide the drawer out.

Of course, you have one of those fancy chairs with wheels, so you fall on your ass. The co-worker jumps around the desk in concern to help you, and what does she find? Yeah, that's right, sexual harrasment city.

And then you're faced with choosing between 1) explaining to her that you can't get it up AND you don't find her sexually attractive, or 2) it's a congenital defect (which she won't buy).

That's about the time when you remember your morning coffee, and it looks like you have avoided the coffee machine for naught...

Okay, yeah, I have an overactive imagination, but aren't these commercials just incredibly stupid?

Chief Rum

McSweeny · 03-28-2003, 09:38 PM

hahahhahahaha!

Neuqua · 03-28-2003, 09:49 PM

That commercial will never be the same now.

Neuqua

GoldenEagle · 03-28-2003, 10:41 PM

I think taking a piss with a bonner might be the hardest thing to do in all of sport.

Fritz · 03-28-2003, 10:52 PM

Rum, I thought you were a waiter.

Chief Rum · 03-29-2003, 12:06 AM

I was just imagining the plight of the Viagra'd business man, particularly the one represented in its first commercial (in this ad series anyway).

And it's server now. Waiter is gender specific. Come on, get PC!

And, besides, I'm a reporter/novelist/novice computer programmer who happens to be paying the bills via a serving job at the moment.

Chief Rum

oykib · 03-29-2003, 01:41 AM

Classic, Rum, classic...

tucker342 · 03-29-2003, 01:57 AM

lol, that was classic.

Airhog · 03-29-2003, 02:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by GoldenEagle
I think taking a piss with a bonner might be the hardest thing to do in all of sport.

its called the arc shot. Master it, and you can impress all the ladies!

cthomer5000 · 03-29-2003, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by GoldenEagle
I think taking a piss with a bonner might be the hardest thing to do in all of sport.

How true.

ACStrider · 03-29-2003, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Chief Rum
I was just imagining the plight of the Viagra'd business man, particularly the one represented in its first commercial (in this ad series anyway).

And it's server now. Waiter is gender specific. Come on, get PC!

And, besides, I'm a reporter/novelist/novice computer programmer who happens to be paying the bills via a serving job at the moment.

Chief Rum

I don't know...sounds like a personal experience episode.

Hawaii Warrior · 03-29-2003, 09:31 AM

This is the funniest stuff I've read since the corn shitter's dynasty

ice4277 · 03-29-2003, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GoldenEagle
I think taking a piss with a bonner might be the hardest thing to do in all of sport.

Especially if its Matt Bonner of the Florida Gators. He's tall.

Draft Dodger · 03-29-2003, 03:57 PM

strange Rum - that commercial has always been my pet peeve as well.

although you've summed it up far better than I could.

03-28-2003, 09:49 PM	#3
Neuqua Pro Rookie Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Chicago, Ill	That commercial will never be the same now. Neuqua __________________ Our Deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?

03-28-2003, 10:41 PM	#4
GoldenEagle Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Little Rock, AR	I think taking a piss with a bonner might be the hardest thing to do in all of sport. __________________ Xbox 360 Gamer Tag: GoldenEagle014 Last edited by GoldenEagle : 03-28-2003 at 10:43 PM.

03-28-2003, 10:52 PM	#5
Fritz Lethargic Hooligan Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing	Rum, I thought you were a waiter. __________________ donkey, donkey, walk a little faster

03-29-2003, 12:06 AM	#6
Chief Rum Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Where Hip Hop lives	I was just imagining the plight of the Viagra'd business man, particularly the one represented in its first commercial (in this ad series anyway). And it's server now. Waiter is gender specific. Come on, get PC! And, besides, I'm a reporter/novelist/novice computer programmer who happens to be paying the bills via a serving job at the moment. Chief Rum __________________ . . I would rather be wrong...Than live in the shadows of your song...My mind is open wide...And now I'm ready to start...You're not sure...You open the door...And step out into the dark...Now I'm ready.

03-29-2003, 09:31 AM	#12
Hawaii Warrior n00b Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hawaii	This is the funniest stuff I've read since the corn shitter's dynasty __________________ "When God created autumn he said, 'This is when we're going to play college football'" "The only way I will come back to the NFL is if the Lions hire June Jones as Head Coach..." -Barry Sanders "When he threw the ball 38 straight times the other day, I said, 'That kid is my son,' " Mouse Davis said of June Jones.

03-28-2003, 09:38 PM	#2
McSweeny College Starter Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Somerville, MA	hahahhahahaha!

03-29-2003, 01:41 AM	#7
oykib College Starter Join Date: Oct 2000	Classic, Rum, classic...

03-29-2003, 01:57 AM	#8
tucker342 Pro Starter Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Iowa City, IA	lol, that was classic.

03-29-2003, 03:57 PM	#14
Draft Dodger Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Keene, NH	strange Rum - that commercial has always been my pet peeve as well. although you've summed it up far better than I could. __________________ Mile High Hockey

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