Curtis got slapped

[illinifan999]

Curtis Got Slapped: Mother claims teacher slapped son, writes 40 crazed pages of demands - Kansas City News - Plog

When a child named Curtis Bowen was slapped by his teacher at Martin Luther King Jr., Elementary School, no one really heard about it. Except for President Obama, Vice President Biden, their wives, three senators, and more than 20 other officials.

They all were CC'ed on the whopping 40-page letter that Curtis' mother, Lisa Henry Bowen, sent to school district superintendent John Covington. In it, Bowen makes mind-boggling demands for reparations. One recipient called the letter "one of the craziest things I've ever seen" and leaked it to the Internet. And Lisa Henry Bowen even created her own web site for the occasion: www.CurtisGotSlapped.com.

Lisa Henry Bowen, who copyrights her name and her son's name throughout the letter, kicks it off by identifying herself as the "intellectual property owner" of fourth grader Curtis Bowen (C). She alleges that Curtis was caught horse playing and was slapped by a teacher named Ms. Curry. Lisa Henry tried to report the teacher to social services for child abuse, but was denied as Curtis' skin wasn't broken.

That sent Lisa Henry into a spiral of outrage. She calls Ms. Curry "one audacious white bitch with 'balls'", and then conducts some informal gonad comparisons. "I happen to have some big 'balls' too. And I ain't afraid to use them." (All emphasis hers, throughout.)

Mrs. Bowen uses her balls-to-the-wall logic to devise a way for the school district to repay her. She claims that Curry slapped 1/4 of Curtis' "million dollar face." Therefore, Lisa Henry encloses a homemade bill for a quarter of a million dollars. The $250K bill is issued to five educational entities, so she's really demanding more than $1 million.

And that's just page eight!

The weird part about Lisa Henry's list of reparations is that most of them have nothing to do with her child being slapped. Sure, she makes a few perfunctory demands to improve the school district, including the introduction of a "We Don't Hit Kids Here" campaign throughout Kansas City and a revocation of Ms. Curry's teaching license. But she reserves the real meat of reparations for Curtis and herself.

Curtis shall receive, among many other things: $13,500 worth of Wal-Mart gift cards, a free college education, two trips to Disney World, nine years of private tennis lessons on the Plaza, season tickets to the opera, theater, and ballet, almost a decade's worth of psychological counseling by "the best black child psychologist in the country," a whole orchestra's worth of new musical instruments, a three-week trip to Africa at a five-star hotel, and a personal audience with President Obama.

Lisa Henry's demands are just as WTF-worthy. She demands the full payment of her mortgage, a new car, home remodeling, free psychological, dental, and medical care for the next nine years, and the cherry on the sundae:

Independent consulting contract position with the Kansas City Missouri School district, for the next nine years. My consulting fee begins at $15,000 per month, minimum 6 months contract.

Because nothing screams "hire me" like a maniacal 40-page threat.

The mother ironically rants to President Obama and Dr. Covington about how the educational system doesn't "give a damn about black children." She almost loses it at the end:

There was a time, in THIS AMERICA, when a white woman could get away with slapping black children around. There was a time, in THIS AMERICA, when a black woman had no choice, but to accept her children being slapped, whipped, rapped [sic, we think], abused, molested and psychologically tortured by this white supremacist society...There WAS a time. I AIN'T THAT BLACK MOTHER, THIS AIN'T THAT TIME!!!!!! THIS AIN'T THAT AMERICA!!!!!!!!

A message to the haters: Lisa Henry Bowen (C) invites anyone who thinks she's gone a little overboard to "KISS MY ENTIRE BLACK ***!!!!!! I HAVEN'T BEGUN TO GO FAR ENOUGH!!!!!!!"

Should any of the recipients of the letter wish to meet with Curtis or Lisa Henry ... well, they couldn't afford it. Lisa Henry's personal appearance fee is $3,000 for 45 minutes, and she will not appear without her husband (an additional $3,000.) Don't even think about getting an audience with Lisa Henry's property, Curtis. He costs $11,000 for 30 minutes.

Check out the letter here.

Oh, and apparently Mrs. Bowen charges every time her or her son's copyrighted name is used regarding this incident. We're way too broke to pay, but we at The Pitch await your bill anyway, Lisa Henry Bowen (C). It was worth it.

You can see most of the 40 page letter here:
hxxp://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3364241

I keep telling myself this can't be real....

[Apathetic Lurker]

Thats some audacious shit there....fuck me if it ain't

Can I get reparations for being mentally fucked by this whack-job?

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by illinifan999

I keep telling myself this can't be real....

How you could even doubt it?

[Greyroofoo]

Slapping children is no joke...


...but that's funny.

[Radii]

That's amazing

[EagleFan]

That is one insane bitch.

[EagleFan]

I think child services may need to be called on her.

Basically she is exploiting her child and an event that may or may not have happened.

[Crapshoot]

And the teacher ought to be fired anyway...

[EagleFan]

Originally Posted by Crapshoot

And the teacher ought to be fired anyway...

Guilty before proven innocent?

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by EagleFan

Guilty before proven innocent?

There isn't much that Crapshoot waits on before offering up his opinion. And certainly, due process is not one of those things.

[Chief Rum]

(That said, he may be right for all I know; I haven't read any specific accounts of the slap in question)

[EagleFan]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

(That said, he may be right for all I know; I haven't read any specific accounts of the slap in question)

Neither have I but based on this bitch's reaction is seems as if she was waiting for anything to use as an excuse to try to get famous.

She certainly isn't doing her son any favors. He is going to get caught up in the negative feedback.

[bulletsponge]

she obviously hoping this becomes a cable news story so she can try to be paid for appearances on the cable channels. that or shes completely insane

[kingfc22]

Originally Posted by bulletsponge

she obviously hoping this becomes a cable news story so she can try to be paid for appearances on the cable channels. that or shes completely insane

She had to have this planned out for a while. No way she writes all that right after the alleged incident.

[Mustang]

Ohh.. Hercules, Hercules, Hercules!!

[Crapshoot]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

There isn't much that Crapshoot waits on before offering up his opinion. And certainly, due process is not one of those things.

This coming from you, CR? Self-pointed arbiter of all things? I heard someone at USC got food today - I look forward to a 3,000 word post on it from you.

[Crapshoot]

Originally Posted by EagleFan

Guilty before proven innocent?

Of course due process should apply - I can't imagine a situation where it shouldn't. This woman does seem bat-shit crazy at an extreme beyond, but a) shouldn't lost sight of the initial allegation, one way or another and b) I don't think any of you with kids would react positively to your kid getting hit (of course, I don't have kids, so I defer to the parents here ).

[Cringer]

Wal-mart gift cards and tickets to the opera. I am pretty sure she is the only human in the world to request both of those at the same time. I am going to People of Wal-Mart right now, I am pretty sure this woman can be found on that site somewhere already.

Also, I will officially be adopting her suggested school district slogan for my homeschooling. I will change it a bit so as not to be sued by her though. The School of Cringer, "We don't slap kids here."

[Izulde]

From what I understand, she already has acclaim as a jazz singer and has met Bill Clinton and one of the Bush presidents, I forget which one.

This actually sounds more like a mental disorder, with the whole paranoia part of her demands further on down.

[Noop]

She is an idiot.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by Crapshoot

This coming from you, CR? Self-pointed arbiter of all things? I heard someone at USC got food today - I look forward to a 3,000 word post on it from you.

It's curious, you know, the image of me you have built for yourself. But whatever "monster" you need to create so you may sleep well with your conscience, I have no issue with.

[BYU 14]

Originally Posted by Cringer

Wal-mart gift cards and tickets to the opera. I am pretty sure she is the only human in the world to request both of those at the same time.

The most perplexing part of the letter by far. Walmart doesn't even sell opera CD's and you couldn't wear anything you bought at Walmart to the opera........I'm just baffled at her logic!

[tucking fypo]

"One audacious white b****", huh?

If she was slapped by a mixed teacher, would her demands been only 20 pages long?

[Drake]

Originally Posted by Izulde

This actually sounds more like a mental disorder, with the whole paranoia part of her demands further on down.

This.

As someone who has a mentally disordered spouse, I could very easily see my wife getting up to these sorts of bizarre shenanigans when she goes manic if I wasn't there to keep her in check and pull the plug on some of the really bizarro ideas.

[Comey]

Originally Posted by tucking fypo

"One audacious white b****", huh?

If she was slapped by a mixed teacher, would her demands been only 20 pages long?

You forgot about the inclusion of balls.

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by Izulde

From what I understand, she already has acclaim as a jazz singer and has met Bill Clinton and one of the Bush presidents, I forget which one.

This actually sounds more like a mental disorder, with the whole paranoia part of her demands further on down.

This is one of the best written, most-organized manifestos I've ever seen. Usually these things are handwritten, rambling and a complete mess. She's obviously somewhat intelligent.

Once you get down to the demands that no one direct HARP signals toward here to make people confused, crazy stupid or otherwise alter brainwaves or mysterious "stuff" in the community water or food supply, it becomes pretty clear you're dealing with a psychological illness here. Feel sorry for here and the kid. She needs help.

[sterlingice]

Finally! The Pitch does something worthwhile!

SI