Stopping my kid from biting at daycare

[Easy Mac]

Anyone have any ideas? We switched her from her last daycare because she bit too much, and we just got tired of dealing with the teachers and their lack of communication about when and how she was biting.

Well, after a good week at her new daycare, she bit today, evidently it was pretty bad as well.

I've never seen her bite at home or when playing with friends. At our house, away from our house, I've never seen it. We try to tell her no bite, but without seeing it, we're not sure what to do.

We thought that the last daycare wasn't structured enough and was too large (about 25 kids in the class by the time we left), but the one she's at now is structured and only about 12 kids.

I don't know if she's just incredibly possessive or what. We try to make sure to get plenty of sleep and she's a great eater. She's not normally crabby either.

Anyone have advise? People keep saying she'll grow out of it, but she's been biting consistently for the better part of 3 months (she's 21 months old now), and we're just at the end of our rope (not to mentioned embarrassed).

[Lathum]

My kid goes to a daycare that a woman runs out of her home. She takes care of about 5-6 kids with her husband. She has tons of experience and may have some insight, I'll ask her if I remember.

[rowech]

My cousin had this problem when we were younger and a neighbor of our family had a child who did the same thing. In both cases the parent bit the child to get the point across how much it hurts. Not chomped down to the bit or anything like that but just enough to make it hurt so the connection is made. I can never imagine doing that to a kid but it did work. Neither kid bit again.

I would probably try to make a sticker chart of some sort, maybe even buy a calendar and then every day she doesn't bite, put a sticker up. I would let her put it on there so that it becomes a sense of pride for her. If she does bite and doesn't get a sticker that day give her some grief over it but don't dwell on it. Just enough to let her know you're disappointed.

[Butter]

Never had this specific problem, but had lots of other random behavioral stuff. Good luck.

Glad I could help.

[miked]

Originally Posted by rowech

My cousin had this problem when we were younger and a neighbor of our family had a child who did the same thing. In both cases the parent bit the child to get the point across how much it hurts. Not chomped down to the bit or anything like that but just enough to make it hurt so the connection is made. I can never imagine doing that to a kid but it did work. Neither kid bit again.

Wait, what?

[miked]

Originally Posted by Easy Mac

Anyone have any ideas? We switched her from her last daycare because she bit too much, and we just got tired of dealing with the teachers and their lack of communication about when and how she was biting.

Well, after a good week at her new daycare, she bit today, evidently it was pretty bad as well.

I've never seen her bite at home or when playing with friends. At our house, away from our house, I've never seen it. We try to tell her no bite, but without seeing it, we're not sure what to do.

We thought that the last daycare wasn't structured enough and was too large (about 25 kids in the class by the time we left), but the one she's at now is structured and only about 12 kids.

I don't know if she's just incredibly possessive or what. We try to make sure to get plenty of sleep and she's a great eater. She's not normally crabby either.

Anyone have advise? People keep saying she'll grow out of it, but she's been biting consistently for the better part of 3 months (she's 21 months old now), and we're just at the end of our rope (not to mentioned embarrassed).

25 in a class is way too big, I'm not sure the accredited ones around here even allow that. We had a biter in our class, most of the time it's just a phase and needs to be monitored. A good daycare will have a specific policy because it will happen, just a fact. I like the idea of a chart or something, but at that age it's probably not going to register that they got the sticker for a bite-free day since it's a long time. It really has to be noticed right away and the child made aware that it hurts the other child (lots of love to the bitten) and situations it occur need to be noticed.

This is something you probably need to discuss with your teacher as you really can't do that much about it at home unless it's witnessed/occurs there.

[JediKooter]

Muzzle?

[stevew]

At least you know she's Team Edward.

[Radii]

Originally Posted by stevew

At least you know she's Team Edward.

time to hand over the old man card, methinks.

[Oilers9911]

Originally Posted by Radii

time to hand over the old man card, methinks.

And the young man card.

[SackAttack]

Originally Posted by Radii

time to hand over the old man card, methinks.

Originally Posted by Oilers9911

And the young man card.

Pretty much just the man card in general.

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by miked

25 in a class is way too big, I'm not sure the accredited ones around here even allow that. We had a biter in our class, most of the time it's just a phase and needs to be monitored. A good daycare will have a specific policy because it will happen, just a fact. I like the idea of a chart or something, but at that age it's probably not going to register that they got the sticker for a bite-free day since it's a long time. It really has to be noticed right away and the child made aware that it hurts the other child (lots of love to the bitten) and situations it occur need to be noticed.

This is something you probably need to discuss with your teacher as you really can't do that much about it at home unless it's witnessed/occurs there.

Pretty much agree with this. I am also wondering if your daughter is acting out because she misses her parents (i.e., resents being at a daycare instead of with you guys). This is a tricky situation because you are not around when it happens.

[Easy Mac]

Originally Posted by RomaGoth

Pretty much agree with this. I am also wondering if your daughter is acting out because she misses her parents (i.e., resents being at a daycare instead of with you guys). This is a tricky situation because you are not around when it happens.

She seems to love being at daycare, playing with kids and all the toys. Part of me thinks she's just bored. I'm sure everyone is told this, but every teacher we've had told us she's the smartest kid they've seen at her age. I just think she wants to rush from thing to thing and just gets frustrated when she can't, or she can't think of how to let someone know what she wants.

We'll see how she does today. She got a kid good on Friday. He was playing with a toy and she wanted it. It was a toy she has at home, so that was probably the reason. We're trying to teach her to say please and thank you. She picked it up over the weekend, but I'm not sure how its going to go when she says please to another kid, and they just blow her off. Not sure how you teach a 21 month old that getting what you want is seemingly random.

[chesapeake]

My younger daughter was a biter at about 14-16 months. We have a nanny, so the setup is different from yours. Whenever she bit or tried to bite, she went into an immediate timeout in her crib. Over time, it seemed to get the point across. She is 20 months now and she hasn't chomped down on anyone in more than a month.

[Easy Mac]

Yeah, we told the daycare to just throw her in a chair and tell her its time out, then just walk away, so she doesn't get attention. That doesn't seem to be their policy, but hopefully they'll agree to it. No biting yesterday, which is always nice. She was in a mood yesterday afternoon when she got home though. She is very temperamental.

[Swaggs]

From what I can tell, immediate feedback is the only thing that works at that age.

Good luck, man. We are going to enter our son in daycare in a couple months and I am not looking forward to it, at all.

[Chubby]

Originally Posted by chesapeake

My younger daughter was a biter at about 14-16 months. We have a nanny, so the setup is different from yours. Whenever she bit or tried to bite, she went into an immediate timeout in her crib. Over time, it seemed to get the point across. She is 20 months now and she hasn't chomped down on anyone in more than a month.

which works until they can get out of the crib/pack and play (and get back in when they want to like my son can)

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Swaggs

Good luck, man. We are going to enter our son in daycare in a couple months and I am not looking forward to it, at all.

A little OT but I would say daycare can be a very positive experience. My son stayed home until he was 8 months. He now id in daycare full time and has blossomed. I think being around and learning from older kids has helped a lot and the soclial aspect is great. One thing that we love is he goes to a private daycare a woman runs from her house. 6 kids all under 3 so he gets lots of love and personnal attention.

[spleen1015]

Originally Posted by Lathum

A little OT but I would say daycare can be a very positive experience. My son stayed home until he was 8 months. He now id in daycare full time and has blossomed. I think being around and learning from older kids has helped a lot and the soclial aspect is great. One thing that we love is he goes to a private daycare a woman runs from her house. 6 kids all under 3 so he gets lots of love and personnal attention.

I agree with Lathum. I was very much in the camp of my wife being a stay at home mom and raising my daughter because that is what my mom did with all of her kids, at least until we all started going to school. When my daughter was 18 months, my wife wanted to go back to work and we sent her to a play/pre-school and it turned out to be a really good decision. She got to go play and spend time with other kids her age and I think it had a positive effect on her.

[chesapeake]

Originally Posted by Chubby

which works until they can get out of the crib/pack and play (and get back in when they want to like my son can)

Although my little one is adventurous enough to try and get out, she's still too wee to succeed.

On Lathum's point, we used a nanny for the first 2 years with my older daughter. It was great and she got the care and attention she needed. But when we started her in day care at age 2, the diference in intellectual development was definitely noticeable. Her vocabulary doubled in the space of a week. In a good way

[Swaggs]

Yeah, I realize it will be really good for my son's development and for him to have the opportunity to play with other children. I'm just selfishly not looking forward to it, because we have enjoyed having him at home and seeing everything.