Child Guardianship

[Qwikshot]

Short and to the point:

My daughter (now 13) flew back to Texas yesterday. About 2 hours later her mom (my ex-gf) called up and after a furious diatribe basically told me she would grant me guardianship rights and I could raise her in Pennsylvania.

This was totally unexpected. For about 7 years my daughter has been flying back and forth in the summer to hang out with us.

Something must have come to a head.

I am not the birth father nor was I in a position to adopt. There are no legal documents for this visits in the summer. Everything was done under the agreement of my daughter's mother.

So, I have reached out to a lawyer who handles these cases.

But I thought I'd ask on the board if anyone has a clear picture of guardianship rights?

I'm doing my best to research, but the concern is that they can be rescinded and that the guardian will be held financially responsible for all costs. I don't want my daughter being swung back and forth like a yo-yo on my ex's whims, nor do I want to be financially obliterated.

I've always told my daughter to hold out as best as she could and she's done that, but I want to make sure that if this become reality that it's not temporary or causes worse events.

Thanks and wish us luck.

[DaddyTorgo]

Nothing constructive to add, only that I remember you posting something about this a few years back and I think there was universal "attaboys" for what you were doing.

Happy to hear that at least it some sense it might be working out for the best for you and your daughter.

[flere-imsaho]

I'd suspect this would be more like adoption than actual guardianship, right?

[Qwikshot]

Originally Posted by flere-imsaho

I'd suspect this would be more like adoption than actual guardianship, right?

I talk to my ex tonight as she is the one who initiated the topic. But I don't think she's giving up parental rights, just giving me guardianship. So I would raise my daughter but as an appointed guardian.

This is why I'm being cautious.

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by Qwikshot

I talk to my ex tonight as she is the one who initiated the topic. But I don't think she's giving up parental rights, just giving me guardianship. So I would raise my daughter but as an appointed guardian.

This is why I'm being cautious.

Not sure of the laws in your state, but in states I do know, that can be retracted anytime she chooses...

[Qwikshot]

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

Not sure of the laws in your state, but in states I do know, that can be retracted anytime she chooses...

That is my understanding too, and why I'm concerned.

[RainMaker]

This is definitely something I'd run by a lawyer. Especially as it involves different states.

[CU Tiger]

Nothing legal to add.
But great job and keep up the good/hard work.

[Qwikshot]

Thanks everyone

Guardianship seems to be the only option. After talking with my ex yesterday (who I felt great sympathy for), this looks to be the option.

I have a fraternity brother who is a lawyer who specializes in this and we're drawing up the papers.

I don't think my ex will frivolously revoke the guardianship, she's genuinely heartbroken that its come to this but wants to respect her daughter's wishes.

So we'll give it a shot, with my daughter going down to Texas for the summers.

My wife and I are excited, and I know it's going to be hard work, but we're trying to get ready.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Qwikshot

My wife and I are excited, and I know it's going to be hard work, but we're trying to get ready.

Best of luck to all concerned.

[BYU 14]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Best of luck to all concerned.

Ditto and kudos to you for stepping into the father role and doing such an awesome job, it obviously has made an impression on your daughter.

[JediKooter]

No advice, but, I hope everything works out and goes smoothly and much respect for stepping up.

[Logan]

Same here!

[Qwikshot]

Just an update, my daughter flies in tonight at 10pm.

It is temporary child guardianship, meaning it can be revoked at any time.

My ex and I will re-evaluate in a year (with daughter's input) but I will provide updates to my ex.

I'm going to seek counseling for my daughter, she has anger issues against her mother, and I want her to be able to work that out.

My ex leads an "alternative" lifestyle with her husband, and I think my daughter has be exposed to some of it. I figure counseling will help with that.

Ultimately, I hope that my wife and I can provide stability and structure to my daughter and let her know that she is loved.

Thanks for all the well wishes, we've still a few giant hills to climb and I get the teenage years, but if we can help weather the storm of teenage-hood, I hope that she can turn into a strong adult.

[Logan]

Good luck Qwik, hoping it works out great for all involved. Guessing you have a major leg up on being able to deal with the teenage years compared to her prior situation.

[Qwikshot]

Originally Posted by Logan

Good luck Qwik, hoping it works out great for all involved. Guessing you have a major leg up on being able to deal with the teenage years compared to her prior situation.

One hopes

[timmae]

Thoughts are with you guys! Seems like everyone is being fairly mature about the situation at this point, hope that continues. I applaud your stepping in when this was thrown your way. Bravo!

[CU Tiger]

Qwik....major kudos, dude.
You are doing the right thing here. As small human animals we need good role models to emulate. If the bio pair cant provide that better to have a surrogate than to miss out.

In my experience it takes a special individual to appreciate and accept that, much less embrace it.

You are doing "God's work" in the southern venacular, and the world is better for it.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Best of luck, Qwikshot! Someday, she'll thank you.