Awkward on Ninewells

[Flasch186]

So I live on a cul-de-sac and it's a new community so we've all been here around the same amount of time. All around the same age, all pretty milquetoast and all homogenized. But fuck, drama.

So fairly early in the accommodations James the hairdresser decides to literally flex his muscles all the time with going shirtless, tank tops, etc. Now he's a big dude, fit and it sucks for us unfit dudes on the street to have to see this shit because God damnit I don't want to work out and don't need all the ladies drooling over that and then looking over at the rest of us sighing.

Well fast forward to a few years ago and a fourth of July party in the sac wherein JtH, bringing months of tension with him, decides to make comments pissing off all of the ladies in declaring that he's the man of the house, where he and Susie the widow live. StW's first husband killed himself after his ponzie scheme blew up. She walked with a nice life insurance policy and parents to help.

JtH was abusive for the most part. Everyone knew. Physically towards her and verbally but on this day, this fourth of July, the shit hit the fan.

As JtH stomped away Tara the loon stomped towards her house which is across the street from JtH's house, chirping in his ear the whole way. JtH turned towards her and took a few steps towards her and TtL isn't one to bank down so she took some steps towards him. JtH backed down and went inside his house.

A few seconds later his garage door started to lift up and his white corvette convertible started to back out revving the engine purposefully loud. It just so happened that at that moment Jameel's daughter Eva was walking down the street and JtH's vette came closer, but not too close, to JdE. It was enough to say off the tinderbox. Jameel, who is Arabic and had a big family, starts to walk towards JtH and TtL. JtH ushers eva down the street and steps up to JtH and shit goes down.

It's a morass of punches and kicks and it flows through the cul-de-sac. Jameel's brother Andy eats it into Gordon the Chinaman's black aluminum fence, bending a rail. All the while there's JtH versus six of JtA's family including his cousin Susie who can throw.

At one point JtH is sitting on GtC's driveway next JtA's house nursing What looked like a knee injury. While Jameel's family walked into Jameel's house using what can only be described as we're on the verge of killing you looks, and I'm trying to use mental jiu jitsu to keep James from getting up, James throws out the Trump like, "go back to your own land sand Niger's. You think you own this land!"

Luckily it didn't set it off again but it wouldn't allow this to ever be put away as a drink forth of July thing to be laughed about in the future.

Fast forward to about six months ago and JtH and StW are in a tiff wherein James is staying somewhere else and they've put their home on the market. They're not getting any showings and they didn't use us to help still it cuz well it's awkward. The one showing they do apparently get is JtH's other girlfriend he's been lying to. She wants to see what's up and in the home are pictures of J&S together, wedding photos (they never really got married), etc.

A few weeks later he's back. Perhaps they've worked it out. One week later, while StW is at work, JtH brings over a moving truck and takes everything (apparently including the bank account).

Then the election hits... TtL is a huge HRC fan, she's letting everyone know. Every chance she gets its the topic of choice. Everything's good. Lots of driveway sitting. Lots of pizza deliveries. Then the day after the election TtL decides to not leave the house. Ever. Well not ever but kids to school and that's about it. Her husband Frank is normal and comes out occasionally to shoot the shit but TtL ain't coming out. However when it comes time to push her mlm she invited everyone over. So weird.

Paula from Texas and her husband Joe recently moved in up the street and while a bit gruff they seem cool. We slowly start chit chatting but then things feel awkward after a while. Come to find out, Caroline the southern belle basically intercepted her and gave her the negative lowdown on everyone. All this while selling the rest of us on how PfT didn't like anyone and talked shit about everyone. Apparently CtSB wanted Paula all to herself. This was learned because when Jameel's wife Darine said she wanted to talk to PfT and CtSB freaked out. PfT and JwD worked it out and CtSB is on the outs.


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[GrantDawg]

I need a diagram.

[Fidatelo]

Originally Posted by Flasch186

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You typed that all out on your phone?!

[Carman Bulldog]

Is it odd that I googled Ninewells Lane in Jacksonville (St. Johns) and then randomly assigned everyone a house?

[thesloppy]

..also, Flasch, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.

[Edward64]

Originally Posted by thesloppy

..also, Flasch, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.

I always figured Flasch to be racist.

[NobodyHere]

This thread should become a dynasty

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by NobodyHere

This thread should become a dynasty

I think it already is.

[BYU 14]

This makes Game of Thrones feel like a Dick and Jane book.

[Thomkal]

Cul-de-sacs must be common in the South because my neighborhood is full of them-there's one across the street, and at the end of both parts of my street (street continues after an intersection). The only drama here is with our next-door neighbor who gets into it with us right before and after bad storms about yard debris left over after said storms-basically she's worried one of the branches or trees are going to fall on her house. We offered to pay for half the clean up from the storm last year-but drama! ended up in a fight over it with her threatening to sue-which she never did and we never paid half. Don't think we've talked to her since.

Thank God I don't live on your cul-de-sac Flasch

[tarcone]

Shoot, on our cul-de-sac, we have a child pornographer with a couple whacked out step kids. The crazy lady that sits in her car for an hour before going in the house. They lived in a tent in the back yard for about 3 months after they bought the house because they felt things were not done well enough. The family with the meth head daughter, who recently was wandering in our back yards in a drug haze thinking people were out there after her.

Everyone else is cool. Friendly and what not.

[BYU 14]

Jesus, thank god for open ended streets!!

[PilotMan]

I've waited years for another thread opening like this one. Thank you baby Jesus!

[Schmidty]

So happy I live in the wilderness. People are exhausting.

[SteveM58]

So the moral of this story is....James is single ladies!!!

[AnalBumCover]

Originally Posted by Flasch186

She wants to see what's up and in the home are pictures of J&S together, wedding photos (they never really got married), etc.

He may say he's the man of the house, but the above tells me she had him by the balls.

[Marc Vaughan]

Well just to be 'in' on the crazy neighborhood stuff - my 'real' house was wrecked in Irma and is still being rebuilt ... apparently having a roof is something I like and not an optional extra (who knew ) ... so after a month living on the patio I got a rental ...

Moved into the new neighborhood and my girlfriend, girlfriends daughter and I had our cars broken into three times within the first week - apparently never happens there, none of the neighbours had ever had anything similar happen.

Girlfriends daughter leaves a note on her seat saying we have a gun in the house and will use it if we catch them (we don't) - no problems since.

We do unfortunately have two people on the street who believe that its alright for them to let their dogs out the front of their houses to roam the street into other peoples gardens and the road ... we have a lot of dogs whom we keep in the fenced yard or walk on leashes and four times now we've had problems with the loose dogs being aggressive.

Last night came to a bit of a head when one of their dogs attempted to bite ours through the fence (its one of those with slates and he can force his snout through it) ... I went to try and corral him and found his owner just watching without trying to prevent him, so I lost it and asked him to get his f**king dog away from ours ... he then proceeded to tell me I should go back to where I came from and similar responses ....

Ended awkwardly without fisticuffs and with me reminding him there is a leash law in the county and that I could call animal control on him.

Suffice to say I'm looking forward to our rebuild being completed in six weeks time.

[Edward64]

Good to know that I'm lucky to live in my neighborhood.

Pretty friendly with Neighborhood Watch. Basic HOA complaints for the most part. Nice FB page where we share stuff, point out speeders, strange cars, lost dogs, strangers in neighborhood etc.

There was a neighbor a street down that had aggressive, but trained, dogs that she let roam in her front yard. Pretty well behaved honestly unless there is another dog walking by where they could be threatening. There's been complaints lodged against her and her house is for sale now.