GACK! Hallmark Channel Goes Off the Deep End

[WSUCougar]

"A Carol Christmas," 7 p.m. Dec. 7 on the Hallmark Channel - Tori Spelling is "a modern-day Scrooge in stilettos" as an egomaniacal talk-show host in a "Christmas Carol" update with William Shatner and Gary Coleman.
I happened to hear a reference to this on the radio, but thought I had heard it wrong. Must be some ad for a SNL skit, right? Wrong. Sure enough, I did a quick net search and bingo-bango, there ya have it! The weirdest collection of mediocre acting talent this side of Gilligan's Island.

Tory Spelling, the human female equivalent of a non-collossal squid.

Bill Shatner, who would get a lifetime mulligan from me for his career portrayal of James T. Kirk except for the fact that that rug on his head KEEPS...GETTING...WORSE.

Gary Coleman...which answers the question about what he's been doing with his time since his crushing defeat in the California gubernatorial race. GARY COLEMAN?!?

[rkmsuf]

that's gold baby...

[Nyarlahotep]

Just throw in Keanau Reeves and you could have a Mt. Rushmore.

[Cringer]

Any cameo roles? Maybe Tonya Harding could add something to this piece or sh....art.

[WSUCougar]

Gilbert Godfried, as Jacob Marley

[Franklinnoble]

Tori Spelling?

Maybe she'll be wearing skimpy lingerie when she's visited at night by Marley and the three ghosts...

[Butter]

I watched about 5 minutes of this last night for the "train-wreck" factor, but had to switch it off when my TV started to chemically decompose.

[Ksyrup]

Andrew Andrew Shue...Where Are You?
I've got a part for you now...

[rkmsuf]

Originally posted by Butter_of_69
I watched about 5 minutes of this last night for the "train-wreck" factor, but had to switch it off when my TV started to chemically decompose.

I had the same experience when renting Punch Drunk Love...

[WSUCougar]

Originally posted by Franklinnoble
Tori Spelling?
Joan Rivers, eat your heart out.

http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/News/9809/04/showbuzz/spelling.jpg

[Cringer]

Originally posted by rkmsuf
I had the same experience when renting Punch Drunk Love...

i liked Punch Drunk Love:(

[rkmsuf]

Originally posted by Cringer
i liked Punch Drunk Love:(

I only made it through 15 minutes...

[WSUCougar]

HUMBUG!

http://www.jcupid.com/images/tori_spelling.gif

[KWhit]

I assume Gary Coleman plays Tiny Tim.

This has the potential to be the funniest Christmas movie ever.

[Cringer]

Originally posted by KWhit
I assume Gary Coleman plays Tiny Tim.

This has the potential to be the funniest Christmas movie ever.

Anything with Gary Coleman in it HAS to be great! Do they implement the " Watchya talking 'bout......" line though?

[SlapBone]

I actually saw a movie (and a pretty bad one at that) the other night where she played a role that was perfect for her.

I forget the movie (as expected), but she played some dude's sideline-skank that he couldn't be seen in public with, and she drove a car with a big Red Bull can on top of it. It was classic Tori.

As a side note, has anyone noticed the americanized version of "The Iron Chef" hosted by none other than Shatner himself. Another perfect fit as I see it.

[Ksyrup]

Has she had surgery to rid herself of Horse-Eye Complex yet?

[KWhit]

Whatchu talkin' 'bout Ebenezer?

[rkmsuf]

Originally posted by Ksyrup
Has she had surgery to rid herself of Horse-Eye Complex yet?

All these groups out there have people in love with them...I'm sure there's a horse-eye fetish group somewhere which she's tapping into...

[cthomer5000]

Originally posted by rkmsuf
All these groups out there have people in love with them...I'm sure there's a horse-eye fetish group somewhere which she's tapping into...

Daddy couldn't buy her looks.

[WSUCougar]

Horse Eye Complex? How about cephalopodism?

[Ksyrup]

Did you know that the Colossal Squid has its own Yahoo directory?

[WSUCougar]

Originally posted by Ksyrup
Did you know that the Colossal Squid has its own Yahoo directory?
Yeah, but did YOU know that there's actually a Cephalopod News (http://zapatopi.net/cephnews.html)?!?

[Ksyrup]

Originally posted by WSUCougar
Yeah, but did YOU know that there's actually a Cephalopod News (http://zapatopi.net/cephnews.html)?!?

"Republished headlines for the discerning invertebrate"

Wow, this has a much larger circulation than I ever imagined...

[Two Thirds Rectal Trout]

Originally posted by KWhit
I assume Gary Coleman plays Tiny Tim.

This has the potential to be the funniest Christmas movie ever.

Sorry, that movie is reserved for The Star Wars Holiday special (1978) which includes the likes of Beatrice Arthur, Harvey Kornman and Art Carney along with the usual suspects.

*shudder*

[KWhit]

I watched that back in the day.