For those who pray, I'd sure appreciate it...

[Ben E Lou]

I wanted to start a new thread for this, so as not to distract from the focus of the other two. A side note to this tragedy is that next weekend (1/23-1/25) happens to be YL's biggest (in terms of total kids who will go) trip of the year. We'll be with 50+ Tucker kids, nearly all of whom were friends with Billy, and with Hannah (the girl who died in July (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=11698)). The last conversation I had with Billy's mom before the tragedy was her telling me that he was going on the trip with us, and Hannah had gone on this trip each of the last two years. :(

Obviously, this tragedy has brought up memories of Hannah, as well as two other deaths that have happened at THS this year. It has been a very, very difficult year for a lot of kids, and, along with a team of Christ-centered adult volunteers, I'm charged next weekend with caring for them and helping them make sense of all of this. I expect a ton of difficult questions and a ton of pain to be expressed.

Last night was the first scheduled YL meeting with Tucker kids since the tragedy, and attendance was way up, and it looks like we're going to have an unprecendented run of new sign-ups for the retreat, and I'm sure that these events have a lot to do with that. People tend to want to turn to God and to their community of friends during times like these, and both are very big parts of hte upcoming weekend.

I'd ask prayers for wisdom, strength and compassion for my adult volunteers and myself who will be with a whole bunch of hurting kids next weekend--while we are hurting ourselves as well. Billy and Hannah were both kids who just about always brightened your day.

--Ben

[Senator]

I remember when I was the same age those kids are and two back to back tragedies shook our world. Looking back, it really was the crossroads of my innocence, and I was never the same again. I didn't have the benefit of YL or another support group, none of us did. There were no counselors coming to our school, we dealt with it however each one of us dealt with it. It would have been nice to have something like YL around. I think what you offer and the message you give is a very good thing.

I hate this has happened to your community, the realization of the horrors that life can produce can really change the outlook of an impressionable mind. It is good you and the rest of the adults are there to give guidance in a difficult time.

Good days will happen again, even though it will seem to digamma and many others that they won't. Faith and support of those around you can take you a long way towards getting there.

When bad things happen to good people has been the single biggest question that has always plagued me. And if I ever get the luxury of getting any answers given to me someday, it will be the #1 question I ask.

[MizzouRah]

You all will be in my prayers.


Todd

[Raiders Army]

Good luck, and even though I don't pray, you will be in my thoughts.

[corbes]

The high school I work in has suffered the loss of six students in the last four years to drug overdoses and accidents.

The healing is hard, and it requires the community to lean upon itself for strength.

I'll be praying for you all, and for understanding.

[Buzzbee]

Ben - Two cents from an outsider. Take it for what it is worth.

I went on many retreats when I was a youth, most of them religiously oriented, so I am familiar with the type of trip you will be taking. I am not, however, familiar with going on a retreat after such a tragedy. So in looking at this with a shade of familiarity I'll share my thoughts/suggestions.

While discussions about the tragic events will certainly be a hot topic, try to keep it from being the central theme of the trip. Perhaps use it as a stepping stone to reach other topics. Maybe use this as a means of talking about friendship, having people you know and can trust and can depend on so that when something does happen, you will have a network of support. Possibly a message of not burning bridges, or of appreciating things while you have them, rather than after they're gone.

You might also bring up the very observation you made in your initial post in this thread. Why does tragedy bring people looking for Christ/religion? If there is solace there during bad times, why should we not also look for the joy during the good times?

As silly as it might sound, try to schedule some fun games or activities where the kids can just laugh a little and leave the events at home behind for a little while. Laughter can go a long way to ease a hurting heart.

Obviously it is a lot easier to type suggestions than to make them a reality, but as I said, just wanted to contribute my two cents.


{EDIT} Praying for you and the youth of Tucker High.

[Cap Ologist]

I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago when the Aggie Bonfire fell in 1999. It is a tough situation to be in, and even tougher when people are looking to you for answers. My friends and I will be praying for you. I wanted to share a couple of verses that have really helped me in the past.

My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Ps. 62:5-8

Hope you get this before you leave for the retreat.

Grace and Peace,

[johnnyshaka]

Ben...you got it...we'll be thinking of you in our prayers.

[GrantDawg]

You and the family are on the church prayer list and in my constant prayers.

[scooper]

Always willing to lend a few prayers. I hope the retreat not only works to strengthen the faith of the kids and lends some healing but that it also gives them all a chance to enjoy themselves. They certainly deserve to smile and laugh with the same friends with whom they now mourn.

[Vince]

I'll keep you and the YL crew in my thoughts, Ben.

[Eaglesfan27]

I'll definitely add this to my prayers.

[thealmighty]

Done.

[Ben E Lou]

Bump....reminder that this is coming up this weekend. As I suspected might happen, we've had last-minute sign-ups from Tucker like never before, including one kid in particular who was hit very hard and very personally by both Hannah's and Coach V's death. I appreciate the prayers.

Buzzbee:

Yeah, it won't be the focal theme of the trip by any means, but one part of every trip we do is what we call "cabin time," which is a free-flowing, be-gut-wrenchingly-honest time. Kids are encouraged, and feel very free, to share whatever is on their hearts with their small cabin group (8-12 peers and a leader or two). My wife in particular has the Tucker Senior Girls cabin. Pretty much the same core group of girls from the class of '04 has gone on this trip to this camp all four years of high school, and Hannah was with them each of the last two years for sure, (and she may have gone on the trip her freshman year as well, but I can't remember, and we didn't have a digital camera or web site back then, so I can't check pictures to be sure.) Bill had never been on this trip (he'd been on our fall whitewater rafting trip), but in the last conversation I had with his mom before his murder she told me that he wanted to, and was planning on going. Coach V. was a real mentor to several kids on this trip, and one kid in particular. There is not question that all three of these deaths will become a big part of cabin time discussions.

There is plenty of fun/game time built in as well. They'll have a chance to "escape", as well as to deal with stuff, I hope and pray.

--Ben

[daedalus]

Good luck to you and everyone on the trip, Ben.

[SirFozzie]

God Bless, Ben.

Blessed are those who heal the spirit, as well as the body.

[Vegas Vic]

Ben,

I pray for you and your entire group as you deal with this tragedy.

"Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted." - Matthew 5:4

[JonInMiddleGA]

Ben, know that you and those affected by this tragedy remain in my prayers.

[Celeval]

In mine as well.

[FrogMan]

Although I don't pray much, you and yours will be in my thoughts.

FM

[Ben E Lou]

Back. Thanks for the prayers. GREAT trip. Lots of laughter, and plenty of tears too. It is going to be a long healing process. I am humbled and grateful that God is allowing us to be a part of that process.

[Vegas Vic]

Glad to hear that the trip went well and that the healing process is moving forward.

God bless.