ZFL Draft 2008

[JAG]

New ZFL commissioner JAG walks to the podium in the Anchorage Ground Round ZFL draft room…

Welcome fellow ZFL GMs to the 2008 ZFL draft. Although this will be the first draft I will be presiding over, the upcoming draft information is all from our former commissioner and ZFL founder revrew.

Before starting the draft, I would like to make an important announcement for this upcoming season and all future seasons. It gives me great pleasure that my first act as commissioner is to honor revrew for his founding of the ZFL and all the contributions he has made to this great league. I would like to unveil the revrew trophy as the new award for winning the annual ZFL title. The crowd murmurs at seeing a long football, encased in silver, and somehow bent into the shape of a Z. Good luck GMs as you battle it out in the 2008 season and thanks once again for revrew’s outstanding work.

Without further ado, here are revrew’s words on the 2008 ZFL draft class.

[JAG]

ZFL Draft
I have tinkered (again) with the process of the draft, trying to up the IRL element. There have been 3 significant changes:

1. There are many more busts and breakouts, though how severely they bust or breakout has been trimmed back. No more first rounders who aren't even worth a dime. But no more third rounders who play like aces. The first and second rounds become much more volatile. Your decisions may be tougher.
2. I have added more detail to the player's descriptions. My phrasing is intentional to reflect change #1. Volatile players will be noted. Sure things will be noted. Then, there's the ever nebulous "upside". A higher ranked player will still be more likely to be better, but if you can read "bust" or "breakout" in a description, you may want to consider drafting a lower ranked player. Good luck.
3. Because of the added detail, I have felt it necessary to create the myth of an influx of foreign players from non-US pro leagues.
4. Finally, I've added more detail to the draft preview to try to help you out, but I will give NO Kiper pre-draft predictions.

This will be a tougher draft. You may want to study it more closely. Hopefully, it will reflect IRL a bit better.


Draft Preview
"The influx of foreign players and the increased popularity of the ZFL have brought a whole new crop of young talent. But at the same time, picking and choosing who is the best of the bunch is more difficult than in year's past. Here, however, is how a team of 5 ZFL analysts break down the draft:

QB: A- There are two quarterbacks in this year's draft, two who could go #1, #2. One of the two showed toughness and leadership at a big-time program, the other is a gunslinger from a small school. Both have the potential of greatness...but there are other quality players in the draft that may prove safer picks. The grade drops to A- because there is no depth after the first two."

HB: F "This is the most woeful batch of potential recruits the ZFL has ever seen. Long shots to ever crack the starting lineups. The first has looked good at times on film, the second put up good numbers, the third is a good guy in the weight room, but none of them have the whole package."

FB: F "Just as miserable as the halfbacks. Incomplete players, every one."

WR: B "We should see a couple of first rounders out of this draft. You can choose from an awesome athlete, a tough hands man, or an underachiever who still has potential waiting to be realized. A team looking for help could find it here."

OT: B+ "There are a few tackles in this draft who may be starting next year, but the real highlight is the top tackle on the board. Probably the surest bet in the draft, the only reason the NFL didn't gobble him up is international origin. After him, there are still three solid picks."

OG: C "There are eight total guards in this draft, but only five will be drafted. And of those five...watch for a run on guards in the second round/early third. None will likely go in the first, but after that, they may start to fall."

DT: A "There are six in this draft worthy of being taken, and how many go first round could be a matter of whether or not the draft board starts to run. Anywhere from one to four in the first. But it's a volatile group. You'll have to choose a mixed bag with any of them...strength and drugs? Speed and injury? Numbers from a small school? Want to go international? But make no mistake: the talent is there for those that pick right."

DE: B+ "A good year for D-lineman. Three possible first rounders, though a bit of a dropoff before 4-6. Unfortunately, the DEs have issues too, and a team has to weigh upside vs. immediate need in selecting the right fit."

MLB: B "An unusually deep draft, with 5 MLBs. One first rounder, and some midrounders to look forward to. I don't see Ray Lewis in here, but that doesn't mean these guys can't help."

OLB: D "Not much depth or prospect here. One second rounder, maybe one or two more in the third. Role players only."

SF: B+ "There are two first round talents in this draft, one of whom is top 5 worthy. Unfortunately, there isn't much depth. You've got the top two, then..."

CB: C- "One of the corners looks solid and may sneak into the first, but there is no raw, athletic superstar in this bunch, and there's little depth."

K: C "One of the kickers will make a team very happy. But there is little depth, and only one that looks to fill a long-term starting role."


This year's draft looks to be exceptionally exciting. Watch Fargo, as they draft second and fifth in both the first and second round. With two QB's atop the board and some of our lesser teams already set at that position, we may also see some heavy trading...

[JAG]

QB:
A. EP Dan McGwire, 22 "There are two QBs atop the board in this year's draft. But who is the better call? This QB got bumped from his sophomore starting job at UCLA in favor of an NFL prototype. But his winning record, accuracy, poise, and leadership were tested and proven. Though not as naturally talented as (B.), most consider him a safer pick. Could easily go #1 overall."
B. FG El Poopiehead, 23 "He has the best arm strength in the draft, and put up some big numbers in Div II ball. Some war rooms rank him higher than A, while others call him overrated. A volatile pick, but one who will likely go top 5."
C. 19 "When he couldn't get into college, he tried to play pro ball overseas. He didn't look that impressive there, and I doubt he has the intangibles to play pro ball here either."
D. 24 "An NFLE flunkout who stands little better chance in the ZFL."

HB:
E. 20 "He's young and fast, but he runs too narrow and goes down too easily. A few impressive bursts on film may make a team consider him in the late second, but he'll have to get a lot stronger to make an impact in the ZFL."
F. 23 "Like Michigan's Anthony Thomas a few years back, he doesn't seem to have much talent. But he's a workhorse who carried a ton for tiny Simpson College. Probably a bench player late in the draft."
G. 23 "A great young man with a tremendous work ethic. Unfortunately, Rudy here isn't quick, fast, or elusive. I doubt he'd ever leave the bench."
H. 20 "Had to leave Indiana University early because he couldn't stay academically eligible. He won't stay athletically eligible in the ZFL."

FB:
I. 21 "Nothing more than a blocking back for Colorado State. Never showed he could run the ball. It would be a stretch to take him before mid-third."
J. PT Mr. Bungle, 21 "A smallish FB with some elusiveness and ability to find the hole. Still, doesn't carry the weight to really bust it in the ZFL. Still, might merit a late pick."
K. 22 "He could get a look at the very end of the draft. He's still physically immature for a professional role."
L. 24 "A strong man from a european league. But not athletic enough to keep up."

WR:
M. CN Population: Tire, 23 "If the size of your mouth determined your draft spot, this UMass grad would have gone #1 in the NFL. And for all his talk, he's got the speed and strength to back it up. Needs to improve his concentration. Top 5 talent."
N. SA Finlandia, The Chilly, 21 "Young, lanky receiver who may have the greatest upside. Read Ed McCaffrey with speed. If he can add strength and precise routes to his toughness and hands, he could star. First round material."
O. CH O. DeJuan Gavly, 24 "An NFLE player wanting to try his luck in the ZFL. College career showed a big upside that didn't fully develop in training camp or the NFLE. Body size is great. Speed is fair. Statistics are respectable. Could develop into a solid possession receiver."
P. PT Chancellor Yang, 23 "A quick but undisciplined player from the Asian league. Needs coaching to develop his talent and head for the game. A bit of a gamble, even in the second."
Q. 23 "Tall speedy kid, but easily jammed at the line and doesn't adjust well to the ball in air. Doubtful he'd be more than a third-round project."
R. 24 "NFLE bust who is good enough to fill a bench spot, good enough to play, but you've got to have a sad team to start him. Not enough athletic ability to break a check at the line or to break a play."

OT:
S. FG Charlie, 22 "If anyone can dislodge the QBs from the top of the draft, it will likely be this big LT from New Zealand. The NFL hasn't yet discovered the talent waiting in foreign leagues, but the ZFL will gladly mop up this monster. An island warrior with quick feet and tremendous strength."
T. CN Marzipan II, 20 "Another foreign pro player, though young and undersized. He's fast enough now to hold the fort, but he will need to get bigger before he's ready to take on the best. Likely late first to second round to a team that can wait to see how he plays with another 30 pounds on his frame."
U. AQ U. Ripberger, 21 "He left BYU a year early to take his shot at the ZFL. He started his junior year with the Cougars and got some talk on NFL draft day, but wasn't selected. We've got him as the third tackle, because he lacks a big upside. Still, he's consistent and tested; figure he's a safe second round pick, might sneak into the first."
V. BH Mars, 21 "A kid who should definitely go somewhere in the third, maybe second. He's only 6'1, a bit short for a 300-lb tackle, but he's a fighter. Weaknesses: size and technique. Strengths: attitude and drive."
W. 23 "Stanford grad who never got the chance to break the starting lineup. Sure, he's got the size, but there's no good scouting or film to fall back on. Late third at best."
X. 20 "Another European hopeful who should have stayed in the foreign leagues. He needs time and a lot of coaching to develop."

OG:
Y. EP Lester Holmes, 21 "Hot-headed bulldog who played for San Diego State. He can get beat by someone with moves, but never by a bullrusher. Strength and mean streak give him an upside that has scouts wondering if he can merit more than a second round pick."
Z. LA Mark Goodman, 23 "Small school dynamo who moved the pile for a 1500-yd rusher at Wisconsin-Stout. But he's never been tested against the really big boys. Used to manhandling smaller opponents. Still, fundamentals are there to build on. Definite second round material."
AA. MW AA Pound Machine, 22 "Mountainous guard from Miss. St. who could pound opponents into the ground when healthy. Has some trouble keeping weight under control. Consider in second to third."
BB. FG Largesmallboobs, 21 "Young Asian-league player whose technique is still very raw. Size is there, but questions about ability relegate him to third round."
CC. AQ That Jerk Who Goes Yeeeeeessss, 22 "Young Brit with blue-collar workhorse attitude. The exceptionally fast beat him, as did the exceptionally large. But could hold his own enough to consider in the third."
DD. 23 "N.C. State left him on the bench, and even though he has prototype size, he's too slow. Will likely stay on your bench, too."
EE. 21 "Neither size nor athletic ability, but JuCo star simply leveraged his way into KRB's. Might be young enough to consider for a late round project."
FF. 22 "A punk with an attitude and zero ability to back it up."


DT:
a. CH Donovan Lork, 23 "Powerful, fast, ferocious DT. Has the skills to go #1 overall. Previous legal troubles won't discourage ZFL teams from taking him in the first."
b. LA Bob Sagat, 23 "Great burst. Busts into the backfield. Nose for the QB. Injuries in senior year turned away the NFL scouts, but the ZFL will receive him gladly. Huge upside, especially if he adds size."
c. MW No Name Necessary, 21 "One of the drafts biggest potential sleepers. An Asian league youngster with legs like tree trunks. Unmovable in the middle. But lack of solid coaching makes some scouts nervous. Tends to get out of position for tackling. Even so, worthy of first-round/early second consideration."
d. CH Timmy Triop, 20 "JuCo star who recorded big tackle numbers for Virginia community college. Still needs size, but leverages well and has a nose for the play. Might get lost in the trenches, but then, might find his way to the ballcarrier."
e. 21 "Young early entry from Southern Illinois. On film, shows tenacity and burst, but lacks true size and strength. Overpursues at times. Will likely fall in the third."
f. CN Tape Leg, 20 "Australian entry shows big upside, but very little refinement. A project player."
g. 20 "Good sized kid from the Dakotas, but doesn't show much true athleticism."

DE:
h. LR L.L. AnotherJeeberD, 23 "Showed some of the best film in the draft. Makes spectacular plays, but does take a few downs off. Huge upside that could easily go top 5."
i. PT Dr. Hans Schlotnik, 23 "Another solid first round candidate. High school stud who was stuck behind stars at Oklahoma. Lacks the speed and burst of (h.), but is well-coached and ready to contribute."
j. FG Farmer Dan, 24 "NFLE project that got tired of waiting for his shot. He's a bit undersized, but quick to the QB and pursues well. Would probably be a steal in the second."
k. 24 "Another NFLE player, but one without the upside of (j.). He can hold the corner, but rarely gets upfield. Probably a bench player."
l. 22 "Small school rocket that would probably be better off slimming down to play LB. But weight has been an issue, and must find discipline to turn his frame into something other than a bench-warmer."
m. 20 "Long shot project from a junior college. He might get drafted, but only by a team waiting to see what strength and coaching can do with his speed."

MLB:
n. BH Excaliber, 23 "Small school first round candidate. Has good vision, quickness. Does struggle shaking blocks. High tackle numbers, defends pass well."
o. FG Santa, 21 "Mid round candidate with a good frame to build on. Athletic, good upside. Needs to add strength, but has great nose for the ball."
p. KX Opie Jackson, 23 "He never got much attention at Ball State, but his tackle numbers are impressive. Quiet workhorse. Though not fast or strong enough to be a top pick, should serve as a solid second rounder."
q. 22 "Marshall's middlebacker has the speed to play, but lacked field intelligence. Sometimes lost on the play, out of position. Needs coaching and experience if he's going to get off the ZFL bench."
r. 23 "Long shot from the Australian league. Toughness is all there, but I think he'd be better off playing rugby than football. Just doesn't show a head for the game."

OLB:
s. KX Honky Tonk Jackson, 21 "An athletic young man, quick and strong. Plays a bit too tall, and gets blocked out too easily. Very good in space, pulled down a number of INTs. But until he gets the mechanics right, probably no better than a second rounder."
t. EP John Thierry, 23 "Rugged player with toughness and strength. Doesn't have the speed to star, or the height to break up plays. But tackles and positions well. Should be drafted, and may see playing time down the road."
u. 22 "Speedy punk who thinks himself the next Zoinks McCallister. But plays more like a track star than an LB. Doesn't wrap well, goes down too easy. Probably not enough upside to merit gambling on his attitude."
v. 22 "Big, lumbering OLB who will never be tall enough to play D-line, and may never be slim enough to play backer."

SF:
w. LR Red Herring, 22 "The NFL didn't even give him a look for his 5'9 stature. But he has the speed and low-hitting strength to play very well. Dominated from the secondary against weaker opponents in college, plays like a linebacker against the run. Even with his short stature, should be considered first round."
x. LA Burt Reynolds, 24 "An Arena league ball hawk. He's a bit slow for the position, and not knowing how well he will adjust to the ZFL's bigger field causes our scouts to drop him to second on the board. But if he can translate his instincts from the Arena to the ZFL, he'll be a bigtime impact player. First round statistics with a question mark."
y. 21 "Young player with speed, but doesn't read plays particularly well and tends to miss too many tackles. Could be a project for the last round."

CB:
z. AQ James L. Brooks, 21 "GA Tech's #2 CB just missed the NFL draft, and he's a likely gem for the ZFL. Very capable in coverage, plays quicker than his time. Doesn't have homerun speed or great hands, but can stay with a receiver and anticipates the pass. A steal in the second who could sneak into the first."
aa. SA Bob Mackenzie, 20 "Young Canadian hoping to take a shot south-side. His speed is unquestionable, but his talent is extremely raw. Films show little more than a track star. Likely a third round bench project, a professional red-shirt freshman."
bb. SA Sven, 21 "As much as our scouts liked the personality of this Euro-league corner, his film shows sloppy coverage and too many gambles. Doesn't wrap well. Probably should have waited to develop more before entering this draft."

K:
cc. LA Very Little Val Kilmer, 21 "Australian footballers have had good luck as kickers, and this one looks like another of that mold. Tough, durable, fast, and coordinated. He's smart and agile. A bit smallish if forced into a matchup of strength, but multi-talented enough to grow into an elite kicker."
dd. LR (to be named later), 22 "Former running QB from Kansas State. His arm didn't impress either NFL or ZFL scouts, but overall athletic ability should get some attention. I don't think he's multitalented enough to be a star kicker, but he could graduate from bench to starter in time."
ee. 21 "A wannabe whose use of marijuana may get more attention than anything he does on the field. A ZFL team would be foolish to risk a pick on him."

[JAG]

2008 Draft offseason:

Here's the final standings (all in correct order, points allowed total in parentheses):

SA 11-0 ( 56)
PT 10-1 (140)
BH 9-2 (138)
MW 8-3 (122)
AQ 7-4 (322)
LA 5-6 (297) (3-way tie decided by points allowed)
LR 5-6 (319)
KX 4-7 (376)
CN 3-8 (245)
CH 2-9 (325)
FG 1-10 (400) (Beat EP head-to-head)
EP 1-10 (297)

There were a number of trades last year and one from the year before which have affected this year's draft order. I've gone back and tried to be accurate with the information, but mistakes can be made. If you think an error was made or a trade was left off, let me know.

Draft order is:

Round 1: EP(1), FG(2), CH(3), CN(4), 1FG(5), LR(6), LA(7), AQ(8), MW(9), BH(10), PT(11), SA(12)

Round 2: EP(13), FG(14), CH(15), CN(16), 1FG(17), LR(18), LA(19), AQ(20), MW(21), 2LA(22), 3KX(23), SA(24)

Round 3: EP(25), FG(26), CH(27), CN(28), KX(29), LR(30), LA(31), AQ(32), 4PT(33), BH(34), PT(35), SA(36)


KEY:
1- Traded from KX for S Pass it Somewhere Else and DE Number II.
2- Traded from BH for WR Arnold Schwartzeneggar.
3- Traded from PT for 2 MW 2007 3rd round picks and MW's 2008 3rd round pick. Then traded from MW to KX in exchange for KX OT Trade Bait Jackson.
4- Traded from MW as part of a package for PT's 2008 2nd round pick.


Feel free to take some time to survery the draft board, set up trades, and so on. When Jeeber is ready, EP is on the clock with their pick. If you know you're not going to be available for some time during the draft and want me to make a pick for you, just send a pm my way with your top however many picks. I know in the past the draft can drag at times, but hopefully we'll be able to keep things moving along at a good clip.

Have fun!

[DolphinFan1]

Jag nice start. I would like to add my two cents and praise to Revrew for all his hard work. I think we should start a ZFL Hall of Fame. I'm not sure how much back stats Revrew kept and gave you. But I think regardless, our 1st inductee into the ZFL Hall of Fame should be, REVREW.

[revrew]

Thanks, all. I really appreciate the props.

As for hall of fame...I really don't have back stats to give JAG. But memory alone and GMs recommendations could generate a ballot. Of the gone and retired generation of ZFL players, I remember one in particular that ought to get a nom: HB Antonio De La Tonio

Perhaps some of the original Chicago Eagle defense? Illinifan had a DE as I recall, but I don't remember his name...

JAG, if you want to wade into the HOF, that's all you. I officially sent JAG the master roster file (wouldn't y'all just LUV to see that :p ) tonight, so I'm officially handing over the com. Rock on, JAG. You da man now.

[illinifan999]

So about telling us who is better? Tom Sanders? Erick Flamber?

[JAG]

The master file has made everything clear. Finally I know the answer to the Great Debate. Of course, it wouldn't be revrew-like of me to provide that information :p There is a good chance at some future point that it will become common knowledge, but I can't start off my tenure giving out juicy bits like that. Maybe it will become clear on the field...I'm sure the game between Chicago and Portland will be pretty heated due to their rivalry for instance. Perhaps the better player will rise to the occasion.

I have no problem with setting up a Hall of Fame, but there are some guidelines to flesh out. How long does a player have to play to enter (or maybe this will be nebulous like the real HOF)? Will players still playing be allowed to enter? If not, how long should the waiting period be? How will the nominees for the Hall be determined?

It's a good idea though. We can have a HOF ballot at the end of a year and if 3/4ths of the teams vote for a player, in they go. At that time, the current HOF will be posted.

If you guys have any suggestions on the ZHOF, let me know.

As an aside, I'm going to try to build a little more historical information on the league by cataloging stats and player rosters by year. If we ever want to do a historical matchup like we wanted this year with the old Chicago D vs. the San Antonio D, it'll be a lot easier this way. It'll also help for choosing ZHOF candidates.

[JeeberD]

With the first pick in the 2008 ZFL draft, the El Paso Busters select...



QB A, Dan McGwire. Fargo is now on the clock.


And in other totally unrelated news, talented veteran QB Ryan Leaf is on the trading block...

[Coffee Warlord]

Badabump

[illinifan999]

bump

[Coffee Warlord]

Afoci's prolly gone for Memorial day, is my guess.

[JAG]

Ok, holidays are over. The Afoci is up to bat with the first of his two top 5 draft selections.

[teh \/1ru§ is kewl!!]

have the cpu pick for him

;)

meaning, just close your eyes on the list and randomly poke at the screen. :) fair enough

[teh \/1ru§ is kewl!!]

jag, you can start by unbolding QB A and renaming him, if youre bored

[JAG]

Good call Shorty.

I'm not sure exactly where The Afoci disappeared to, but I can definitely dispel the rampant rumors that he is trying to bypass his pick to pay a lower signing bonus to his top draft pick and that the Fargo franchise is not having financial difficulties. Really.

[JeeberD]

A. Dan Mcguire, 22 "There are two QBs atop the board in this year's draft. But who is the better call? This QB got bumped from his sophomore starting job at UCLA in favor of an NFL prototype. But his winning record, accuracy, poise, and leadership were tested and proven. Though not as naturally talented as (B.), most consider him a safer pick. Could easily go #1 overall."

Dan McGwire.

;)

[JAG]

Sheesh. Good heads up Jeeber.

Incidently, got the Rook cards in the mail today. :)

[The Afoci]

Fargo Selects QB B, El Poopiehead.

[illinifan999]

Chicago selects DT a, Donovan Lork.

[korme]

The Chaps select WR. M also known as Population: Tire

[The Afoci]

Fargo selects OT S, Charlie.

[JAG]

Hm, I think you've got to pick another name for him The Afoci. Milwaukee's OLB Superman would greatly object to your naming him that. :)

[DolphinFan1]

Hm, I think you've got to pick another name for him The Afoci. Milwaukee's OLB Superman would greatly object to your naming him that. :)

On behalf of the Great Superman, Jag you are right. Afoci, Superman has informed me that unless you change your new draft pick's name he will sue. And the price will be steep should he win. Probably like a 1st round draft pick or something. :D

[JAG]

Does anyone know if Swaggs has gone on vacation? He hasn't been on in a few days and I've tried contacting him but received no response.

[korme]

Swaggs is a terribly busy man. If I catch him on the JBL forums or aim I'll let him know.

His AIM is Swaggs1977 if you want to look out for him yourself.

[Swaggs]

Little Rock selects DE (h.) L.L. AnotherJeeberD.

(Sorry--my internet has gone out and I have been using an old laptop with dialup and had limited access lately)

[JAG]

No problem at all. Hope you get your good access back soon.

[Marmel]

LA selects DT b, now known as DT Bob Sagat.

[tucker342]

:crossing fingers - hoping the player I want drops to me:

[NevStar]

AQ - Looking to trade down in the 1st round, anyone interested?

(edit) Will make my pick tonight if I get no offers.

[DolphinFan1]

NevStar, just to let you know that someone is listening. Really no point in me trading for one spot. Unless you have a great offer.

[NevStar]

Trade offers fell through. Meh. It's a stretch, but Albuquerque can't afford a bust & selects:

CB z. James L. Brooks

[JeeberD]

Hey folks, don't forget that there's a Pro Bowl candidate QB out there on the trading block!

[DolphinFan1]

With the 9th pick in the 1st round the Milwaukee Muscle Men select:

DT : c , "No Name Necessary."

[JeeberD]

Bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tucker342]

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tucker342]

with the 10th pick in the draft: Birmingham selects MLB N now known as Excaliber.

[digamma]

Just chillin'.

If anyone wants to let me move into the second round for a promising young HB, let me know.

[Coffee Warlord]

With the 11th pick of the first round, Portland selects <b>DE Dr. Hans Schlotnik</b> (i)

[sachmo71]

San Antonio takes WR N. from Oregon State. His name is Finlandia, the Chilly!

[JeeberD]

Mmmmmmmm...Finlandia....

[JeeberD]

El Paso selects OG (Y), Lester Holmes.

[Coffee Warlord]

I will be out of contact till Friday night, fyi. As I don't have a 2nd round pick, shouldn't hold things up any, I would think.

[JAG]

Mel Kiper’s first round analysis:

El Paso – Dan McGwire is a solid choice, although I had El Poopiehead rated higher on my board due to his arm strength and being a four year starter. However, you have to like McGwire’s poise and production in his limited starts and has a good chance to be starting for El Paso as soon as this year.

Fargo– No question, Fargo had a huge first round, and I’m not just talking OT name pending. Poopiehead has an arm just as good as Thumbless Jackson and finished 3rd in all-time passing yards for division II. He’ll have to take a step up in competition, but all the physical tools are there to flourish. Meanwhile, OT Charlie is equally dominant in run and pass blocking. Getting him at the fifth pick was great value.

Chicago – If Mean Joe Greene played next to this guy, they would’ve called him Nice Joe Greene. Lork is possibly the nastiest DT I have ever seen come out of college in terms of attitude and has freakish measurables. No doubt he was worthy of the 3 pick and maybe even ahead of one of the QBs, but some teammates were turned off by his deviant behavior. We’ll have to see how he fits in with ZFL teams. If he can keep his head on straight, the best player in the draft, hands down.

Cincinatti – With the tragic injury to Homestar Runner last year, Cinci needed a wideout to take pressure off young Senor Cardgage and give Mr. Shmallow another target. Population: Tire has to improve his inconsistent hands, but other than that, has dominant size, speed, and quickness. His biggest problem could be his attitude. His baggage would make me leery of taking him 4th overall.

Little Rock – L.L. AnotherJeeberD is the latest talented defensive lineman to come to Little Rock. Has excellent pass rushing moves and shows great speed off the edge. A great pickup at #6 and, with Henry Blitzen and L.L. JeeberD, should give Little Rock one of the best defensive lines in the league.

Los Angeles – There was probably better value with this pick elsewhere, but LA was desperate for former All-Pro Norton’s replacement. Best pass-rushing DT coming out of college in a long time. Not totally sold on his recovery from a knee injury his senior year and he could use some filling out before he can be a force against the run.

Albuquerque – They didn’t get great value with this pick, but were unable to come to a deal with anyone to move down. However, James L. Brooks is solid and is a perfect fit for the team. His arrival probably spells the end of Herschel ‘Hey Hey’ Krustofsky’s days of starting at CB.

Milwaukee – I really have to question Milwaukee’s choice of No Name Necessary here. Some have called this young DT the draft’s biggest sleeper, but what put me to sleep was his play on the field. At times looked completely lost and has little mobility. Does have excellent strength.

Birmingham – It’s amazing Birmingham got such great value this far down in the draft. Excaliber was a solid 3-down linebacker who excelled at pass rushing, coverage, and run defense. Another great player for Birmingham’s great defense.

Portland – Portland has been seeking a defensive end for years now and this year they got their man in Dr. Schlotkin. He should be a solid but not spectacular pickup.

San Antonio – Finlandia, The Chilly was a shrew selection by the Margaritas. He’ll replace departing wide receiver Revrew and should add some youth and burst to counteract Revrew’s craftiness and experience. A bit of a beanpole, but could surprise with his speed, toughness, and especially his poise and composed demeanor.

[The Afoci]

Fargo selects DE j. Farmer Dan.

[illinifan999]

Chicago selects WR O. DeJuan Gavly

[DolphinFan1]

El Paso selects OG (Y), Lester Holmes.

This has bust written all over it. That's why I stayed away from him. Good luck! :D

[korme]

The Chaps select OT T, now known as Marzipan II.

[NevStar]

The Chaps select OT T, now known as Marzipan II.

Now that's just being lazy. With the new Cheat Commandos characters, you should've been set for the next 3 seasons.

Just for that, I'm stealing Ripberger with my next pick.

:p

[korme]

Marzy needs some love though, she was a bust the first time around!

[The Afoci]

Fargo selects MLB o. Santa.

[tucker342]

I believe it's Chicago's pick now

[illinifan999]

No, it's Little Rock I think. Fargo screwed us all up with his draft trading.

[illinifan999]

;)

[Swaggs]

Little Rock selects safety (w.) Red Herring.

[Marmel]

LA selects OG Z, now knows as John Goodman.

[NevStar]

AQ selects

OT U. Ripberger

[DolphinFan1]

I will make my pick later, I am waiting on a possible trade offer.

[korme]

AQ selects

OT U. Ripberger
http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/%7Efof/forums/images/smilies/mad.gif

[DolphinFan1]

With the 9th pick in the 2nd round the Milwaukee Muscle Men select:

OG - AA Pound Machine.


Also Milwaukee and Knoxville would like to announce the following trade:

Milwaukee is sending it's 11th pick in the 2nd round for Knoxville's OT - Trade Bait Jackson.

Digamma please confirm.

[digamma]

Confirmed.

[JAG]

Alrighty, I have updated the draft boar, draft order, and master roster to reflect the above trade. The next three to pick and finish up the second round are:

Marmel
digamma
sachmo

[Marmel]

LA selects Kick cc, now known as Very Little Val Kilmer.

[digamma]

Knoxville selects OLB S. Honky Tonk Jackson

[sachmo71]

Is it my pick now?

[JeeberD]

Yup

[sachmo71]

Rolls the dice...

San Antonio takes CB aa from the Canandian Football League, Bob Mackenize.

[JeeberD]

El Paso selects OLB (t), John Thierry.

[The Afoci]

Fargo selects OG BB Largesmallboobs.

[illinifan999]

Chicago selects DT. d, Timmy Triop

[korme]

Cincinnati selects finally-

DT f. - Tape Leg.

[digamma]

Knoxville: MLB P, Opie Jackson

[JAG]

So Shorty is the first one to draft 'outside the box' this year. We'll know soon enough if it pays off (or we may never know if the other DT goes undrafted). Things seem to be going well with the draft, I feel like it's been moving along at a good pace and hope you guys do as well. After the draft, I'll post Kiper's 2nd / 3rd round thoughts and then we'll move on to the training camp reports.

And then you can expect to see a pm in your mailbox with your updated roster. This should all happen no longer than about 3 days after the conclusion of the draft and hopefully sooner than that.

Swaggs is on the clock.

[illinifan999]

bump

[sachmo71]

It appears to be Little Rock's pick.

[JAG]

Swaggs has been PM'ed a couple of days ago, but it appears he hasn't logged in since 6/11. I'll try and hunt him down.

[JAG]

I do see some irony in saying how I felt the draft was moving along well and then we don't have a pick made in the past five days since my proclamation. I hate to hold everyone up for one person and I've tried contacting him in a couple of different places, but with no luck. I know Shorty said he's been busy lately, but hopefully everything is alright with him. To compromise, I'll give Swaggs until Monday 4pm EST to make a pick and if nothing happens, the commish will step in and make a pick for him. I hate to do it, but I don't see another option. At least it's the third round and not the first. Sorry for the holdup to the rest of the owners.

[korme]

Yeah, I'll ping him at the JBL, but again he's been on rarely lately.

[JAG]

Just got an email from Swaggs. Sounds like he's still having some major computer problems and he asked me to select for him.

Little Rock selects kicker dd (to be named later)

Marmel is up.

[Marmel]

LA selects SF x, now known as Burt Reynolds

[NevStar]

AQ -

OG CC That Jerk Who Goes Yeeeeeessss

Portand is up.

[Coffee Warlord]

Portland selects <b>FB - Mr. Bungle</b> (J)

[Coffee Warlord]

Note: Once again (sigh), I'm out of touch starting tonight. New York again (double sigh), and then a paintball game on the weekend.

[tucker342]

Birmingham selects:

OT - Mars (V.)

[JAG]

*reads cue card from Portland*

With the 35th pick in the draft, Portland selects P. WR Chancellor Yang

[sachmo71]

San Antonio takes CB bb. from the European League...Sven.

That's it!

[JAG]

Upcoming tentative schedule of events:

Tuesday evening (6/22)- Kiper's second / third round analysis

Thursday (6/24)- Training camp reports

Sunday (6/27)- Updated rosters sent to GMs

Sunday through Wednesday (6/27-6/30) - Roster cuts / trades

Monday (6/28) - ZFL 2008 schedule announced

Tuesday (6/29) - 2008 predictions

Wednesday / Thursday (6/30 / 7/1) - Week 1 of the ZFL 2008 season

(I'll be in Vermont over the July 4th holiday, so it may be a little while before week 2 gets posted).

[JAG]

Mel Kiper’s second / third round analysis:

El Paso – Lester Holmes is a solid pick for El Paso, the highest ranked guard on the board. He can really move the pile in the running game, but needs refinement on his pass protection. OLB Thierry is no more than a project player and not great value. A somewhat surprising choice from El Paso with age and needs at other positions.

Fargo– Fargo continued their excellent draft with DE Farmer Dan. He was an excellent value in the second round and his speed and ability should translate well in the ZFL. MLB Santa was a solid pick who has a chance to contribute as a rookie and OG Largesmallboobs had a good deal more talent than scouts gave him credit for. Best draft of the year by far (of course, it also helped that Fargo had high picks and many of them).

Chicago – Chicago needed help at receiver badly and they were fortunate that DeJuan Gavly fell to them in the second. His lack of speed will reduce his playmaking opportunities, but he will be an immediate upgrade for Chicago’s inept passing game. DT Timmy Triop was a surprise selection in the third round after having taken DT Donovan Lork in the first round. Triop is young, but has potential to start after some seasoning and in 2-3 years could form a dominant pairing at DT for Chicago. Excellent draft for Chicago.

Cincinatti – After a somewhat questionable top pick, the Chaps recovered nicely with a great choice of OT Marzipan II. Not only was he a solid talent left on the board, he brings needed youth to the Chaps’ ancient front five (four starters over 30 years old). Murmurs were heard all over the draft room with GM Shorty’s choice of DT Tape Leg, who was not even on most team’s draft boards. Has flashed dominant play at times, but extremely raw. It appeared Shorty had a smirk on his face as this pick was made, so he has probably already done his homework on Leg.

Knoxville – Astute maneuvering by the ‘Necks to pick up a solid talent at a position of great need by trading the aptly named OT Trade Bait Jackson to move back into the second round and select OLB Honky Tonk Jackson. Rangy and a real playmaker in space, the only concern might be how he handles the large offensive linemen and fullbacks of the ZFL. A solid choice in the third round as well with MLB Opie Jackson who unjustly slid down the draft charts. Only two picks for Knoxville, but they made the most of them and should be much more productive from the linebacker position this season.

Little Rock – There were some good picks in the top of the second round, but none top Little Rock’s choosing Red Herring. Based on talent, should’ve gone in the top five picks, but his size and position dropped him down the charts. Even so, the pick was a mild surprise considering S Ronnie Lott Jr. seemed firmly entrenched in the Slick Willie Defense. K dd was not a choice that’ll excite the fans and not even a particularly great value, but was needed to provide competition for the broken down Mr. Ed.

Los Angeles – OG Goodman was an adequate choice for the Stars. Solid, but unspectacular player who has yet to be tested against top competition. Another surprise choice by a ZFL GM that could cost a veteran a job was GM Marmel’s selection of Very Little Val Kilmer in the second. One of the more talented kickers to come out in the past five years, he has a good opportunity to even beat out of the league’s kicking stalwarts in Little Val Kilmer. The Stars were the team to finally take a chance on S Burt Reynolds in the third round. Hugely talented only lacking elite speed, but ZFL GMs expressed concerns about his ability to transition from the Arena league. Well worth the risk at this point in the third round as by far the best talent available.

Albuquerque – OT U. Ripberger is coming into a good situation in Albuquerque where he won’t have to guard Sizzlack’s blind side and can learn from a master in OT Ralph Wiggum. He should be a steady contributor for the Isotopes. OG That Jerk Who Goes Yeeeeeessss is your typical third round pick: a project who could eventually start, but will start off on the bench practicing saying “Yeeeeeessss” as the Isotope offense scores points without his help.

Milwaukee – The Musclemen followed up a questionable first round pick with an unspectacular pick of OG AA Pound Machine towards the end of the second round. He was a borderline second round pick who has had weight trouble in the past, but was for the most part solid in both run and pass blocking. Good chance to start, but likely won’t star. All in all, a lackluster draft class for the Musclemen.

Birmingham – With no second round pick, the Olympians needed to make their third round pick count. They couldn’t believe their eyes as OT Mars fell to them, who was expected to be gone by the end of the second / beginning of the third. Doesn’t have the size and needs some good teaching, but has the nastiness and drive needed to succeed at the ZFL level. Strong overall draft from the Olympians.

Portland – FB Mr. Bungles was perhaps less talented than other fullbacks on the board, but certainly best fits Portland’s style of offense. Nothing but a bench player for now, but could start for Portland in 2-3 years after he gets some ZFL experience. WR Chancellor Yang is a solid pick for the end of the third round, but is unlikely to see playing time considering Portland’s wideouts.

San Antonio – CB Deflector saw the writing on the wall this past season (he had plenty of time to do so as opposing wideouts ran by him) and it was made even more clear by sachmo’s selections of cornerbacks in rounds two and three. Neither of these two were particularly talented choices for where they were taken, but his desire to try and upgrade the weakest link on the otherwise formidable Margarita defense was understandable. Bob Mackenzie is the better of the two picks and likely will be starting soon for San Antonio, but he will take some lumps early in his career. Sven is a big gamble and likely doesn’t have the talent to hang in the ZFL.

[tucker342]

GO BIRMINGHAM!!!:D

[sachmo71]

Hmmm...well then, I'll have to try something else.


If anyone is looking to move a corner, I have draft picks to move!

[JAG]

Note that while Kiper IS a certifiable draft genius, there are occasional assessments where he misses the boat one way or another about a prospect. I would definitely recommend waiting for the training camp reports tomorrow and the updated roster prior to actually consumating a trade.

Not that there's anything wrong with fishing around.

[The Afoci]

Could it be that Fargo might actually be competitive now? The fish has licked the donkey, that is for sure.

[JAG]

Training Camp Reports:

Albuquerque - Moe Sizzlack was noticeably fuming in the Isotopes’ training camp. Normally he goes out during practice and embarrasses the Isotope defense, but young CB James L. Brooks gave him his most challenging practice corner to face in years. He was easily outperforming veteran starter Herschel “Hey Hey” Krustofsky and should team nicely with Pro Bowl safety Troy McClure to form a solid secondary.

OT Groundskeeper Willie was giving up 12 years to OT U. Ripberger and it proved to be too many, as the young rookie had a solid enough camp to convince coaches to replace Willie, who was reportedly considering trying out for the Scottish Clayomres after losing the starting position. GM NevStar was seen pulling Willie aside and talking to him. We’re uncertain what he said, but afterward Willie seemed placated and was seen giving pointers to the youngster. OG That Jerk Who Goes Yeeeeeessss did fairly well with the first unit during drills, but his play during preseason games didn’t seem to match his talent level. He’ll be a solid backup for now, and could start sometime down the road.

Fargo– A large turnout of young fish was the word in Fargo this summer. Overall, there was good and bad news to go around. OT Charlie became fast friends with All-Pro OG Ray and the Ordinary Guys combined to blast huge holes in the defense. They look to be a promising tandem. MLB Santa had much better range than was expected. His infusion of youth and energy to the Fish defense will be welcome. DE Farmer Dan looked solid in camp, but didn’t quite show enough to burst into the starting lineup. He could well be starting a year or two down the road. OG Largesmallboobs was a big disappointment, showing up for camp overweight and not showing the mobility ‘Fish coaches thought he had. As Fargo didn’t elect to bring anyone else to camp, he’ll still get the starting nod. And lastly, all eyes of hopeful fans and coaches were on number 2 overall pick QB El Poopiehead in camp to see if he could be the answer to Fargo’s quarterbacking needs. Unfortunately for GM The Afoci, the kid has an arm like a cannon, but looks absolutely lost against ZFL defenses. His frustration has even hurt his natural ability and he was often erratic with his ball placement. Despite the letdown, he did show enough to win the starting job, but he will likely never live up to his draft billing. Some definite improvement for the ‘Fish from last year, but it’s uncertain if it will be enough to make a big impact on their record.

Chicago – A huge buzz around the Chicago training camp, much of it centered on the controversy surrounding first round pick DT Donovan Lork. Lork’s mouth has been running as often as his motor and he has not exactly endeared himself to teammates with his brash style. But while his play has been decent, it’s his off-the-field activities that have created the most stir. Fellow defensive teammate and roommate S Shut Down came back one evening from a bar to find Lork naked and brutally servicing a chicken (rumors that GM The Afoci of the Fighting Crawfish supplied the chicken are as of yet unfounded). Besides making the locker room rounds amid giggles, it seemed to throw Lork off his game (or perhaps it was the teammates making squaking sounds during the quarterback’s cadence). He’ll still be starting, but it’s a shame to think of what he might’ve been with a normal brain.

The degree of disappointment was lessened however as WR DeJuan Gavly and DT Timmy Triop had solid camps. Gavly appeared to immediately click with QB Mike “Air” Marino and he should be a solid improvement over both of last year’s starters. Triop was a bit of a surprise considering most draft pundits felt he had to put on some weight before he could make a contribution, but his low center of gravity has allowed him to get underneath larger guards and clear the way for MLB El Capone to make plays. Even with Lork the Insane, Chicago has improved at both DT positions and WR this offseason and should without question be improved from last year.

Cincinnati – Chaps coaches were frustrated with the team’s performance in camp this year. They feel their jobs are on the line this year and that GM Shorty did not bring in enough talent to compete this year. WR Population: Tire was decent and will make a nice compliment to Senor Cardgage, but there’s no question that he thinks he’s a good deal better than he is. He has all the physical tools, but tends to drift during games and not run crisp routes. And let’s just not talk about his hands. OT Marzipan was also worse than expected, and even though he won the starting position from the 35 year old Gustav Gustavson, he’s just a guy. GM Shorty appeared to think highly of young DT Tape Leg while other GMs thought he was crazy for taking him so highly in the third round. The other GMs were right. He’s not ready for primetime and may never be. This lackluster class from the Chaps could drop them down in the standings.

El Paso – The team was very upbeat coming out of the camp. The reason for the optimism is that top pick QB Dan McGwire was outstanding during camp. No one could recall ever seeing a rookie QB so composed and focused and he essentially moved into the starting lineup from the moment he took the field for the first time. He has more than lived up to his top pick billing and should lead El Paso out of the basement of the ZFL. The rest of the draft class was forgettable, but there were a couple of bench players who displaced veterans in the starting lineup. El Paso fans should get a good show from McGwire this year and his addition alone should spell improvement for the Busters.

Birmingham – The Olympians had a small draft class, but not without impact, as Excaliber took over for the aging Troy at middle linebacker. GM tucker was whispered before the draft to covet him, hoping to add a Ray Lewis / Brad Pitt to his already formidable defense, but unfortunately, Excaliber has been inconsistent at times and has had difficulty covering backs in the passing game. Still, points are going to be even harder to come by against the Olympians this year. 3rd round choice OT Mars has been a pleasant surprise, showing better than expected footwork to go along with his nasty disposition. His inexperience and the strong play of the Olympian tackles Atlas and Cronus is the only thing keeping him out of the starting lineup.

Los Angeles – The Stars spent the offseason working to improve their lines on both offense and defense. Judging by the big bodies being flung around, they have done exactly that. DT Bob Sagat hasn’t been as dominating as expected. Doctors reexamined his injured knee after he complained of soreness and were unable to find the cause, but were concerned that the problem would be chronic and limit his effectiveness. Nevertheless, he should be a solid starter and much better than former All-Pro Ed Norton who appeared to be on his last legs in camp this year (he did manage a tired smile for his rambunctious fan club who showed up to cheer him on). OG Mark Goodman’s performance was excellent and very unexpectedly, he outperformed Jackie Gleason to easily take over for him at OG. The jump in competition to the ZFL level didn’t seem to change his ability to get a push in the running game or his lateral quickness in pass protection. After adding OGs Stern and Goodman in consecutive seasons, LA should boast one of the strongest offensive lines in the ZFL this year. LA took a chance in the third to pick up the services of S Burt Reynolds, hoping to hit a home run with his raw talent, but unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be. His speed is even worse than expected and he has trouble following the ball in the air. He’ll be riding the pine until super Star Ray Liotta decides to hang up his cleats. Finally, not to be lost in the other positional battles was the best of the LA camp; the duel between K Little Val Kilmer and rookie sensation K Very Little Val Kilmer. The two put on an amazing exhibition of various esoteric skills and appeared to be evenly matched. The bout that finally determined the winner was when Little Val was able to juggle four kittens for 5 seconds skating on an ice rink (don’t try this at home) while Very Little Val was only able to juggle them for 3 seconds before collapsing. Very Little Val Kilmer vowed on the spot to win the job next year, while the veteran Little Val just smiled a knowing grin.

Milwaukee – One of the best stories of training camp came out of the Musclemen organization. It seems that rookie DT No Name Necessary took Kiper’s severe criticism to heart and worked out with a fury to improve himself in time for camp. The hard work paid off as he dominated impressively during camp, outperforming everyone’s expectations and he looks to be one of the real gems (and steals) of this year’s draft. Triple N’s performance was so inspiring that it drew attention away from the huge disappointment that was OG AA Pound Machine. Coaches envisioned a huge OG that could move the pile and hold up defensive tackles, but while he’s been huge, he is essentially completely immobile, and any DT with a hint of speed can just go around him and his short-for-his-size wingspan. GM DolphinFan may send him back to England where he can gorge on crumpets as long as his heart desires.

Knoxville – As is usual for training camp in Knoxville, the Thumbless-led offense spent training camp torturing the defense with a dazzling array of offensive fireworks. This year there were a couple of different sacrificial lambs on the defensive side of the ball, new LBers Honky Tonk Jackson and Opie Jackson. OLB Honky Tonk can play a mean banjo, but has had some difficulty wrapping up on his tackles, which has seriously hampered his effectiveness. He is going to need more time than originally thought to fully develop, but they decided to throw him into the fire now since he was an upgrade over former starter Bubba Jackson. MLB Opie Jackson has been solid for a third round pick, but doesn’t represent a big upgrade over the (now former) incumbent MLB Mullet Jackson. All in all, it appears the defense has improved slightly, but whether that will deter many of the ZFL offenses remains to be seen.

Little Rock – Another high pick from this year’s class of defensive lineman failed to reach his expected potential with L. L. Another JeeberD (second-largest family in the ZFL next to the Jacksons). He has at times during camp made freakish plays, but too often takes some off and seems to lack the desire to be an elite player. Still, the attention given to stud L.L. JeeberD on the other side of the line will certainly open up some plays for him. Local columnists blasted the club for selecting a safety in the second round after having taken solid pro Ronnie Lott Jr. last year, but GM Swaggs proved he knew what he was doing when he selected S Red Herring. Even at 5’9” he’s been a monster in the secondary for the Slick Willies, alternatively picking off passes with his excellent hands and thumping wide receivers when they enter his area. Lott Jr. had a good camp, but the top notch play of Herring will send him to the bench. Finally, the kicking duel between the as-of-yet unnamed kicker and the ancient Mr. Ed was no contest for the rookie and Mr. Ed will likely be put out to the pasture or taken to the glue factory.

Portland – The Sea Biscuits seemed a little downtrodden during camp this year, as they felt they had the talent to repeat last year, only to fall just short against San Antonio the final game of the year. How they fair this year will depend a good deal on new defensive addition DE Dr. Hans Schlotnik. Fortunately for the Biscuits, Schlotnik has been just the pro they’ve been looking for at DE. His presence should prevent teams from double-teaming one of the Military Middle and open up some more chances for them. WR Chancellor Yang hasn’t shown much in camp and has a long road ahead of him to break into the starting lineup. Portland was in for a shock however with how quickly rookie FB Mr. Bungles picked up the offense. He still struggles with his blocking assignments and perhaps always will to some degree being undersized, but has shown some ability to avoid tacklers and run decent routes. He was originally projected to be a bench player but has delighted coaches so much they have shown FB Boris "Bruiser" Boriche the bench.

San Antonio – GM sachmo has been riding a high since last year’s draft, selecting one of the top unexpected performers from that class with OLB Pops and going undefeated for the first San Antonio ZFL title. Judging by the way WR Finlandia, the Chilly performed in training camp, it looks like he has done it again. The young WR has been absolutely unflappable in his play; despite getting pasted by S Godzilla Blitz again and again (the Margarita rite of initiation for rookie wideouts, after which the team grabs some margaritas at the local bar to dull the pain for the rookie), he kept going across the middle with the same fearlessness. This led to his immediate acceptance in taking over for respected former receiver revrew and teammates took to calling him ‘Cool Finlandia’ for his demeanor.

At cornerback, it was another story entirely. CB Deflector seemed to get along well with the rookie corners and was happy to provide them with some tips. That unfortunately led to coaches having to spend plenty of extra time trying to teach the youngsters NOT to do what Deflector told them. Third round pick Sven was a complete space cadet on the field and even made Deflector look good. Second round selection Bob Mackenzie has done about how you would expect a transplant from the CFL to do, which is to struggle with the more complex ZFL game. With time, he could be serviceable, but for now, CB Deflector has amazingly held onto his job for another year.


Getting closer gentlemen, the long offseason is nearly over! Look for rosters to be sent either tomorrow (unlikely but possible) or Sunday evening.

[JeeberD]

Woot! Danny Mac is da MAN!

[sachmo71]

Will pay for corner. :)

[JeeberD]

Talented veteran QB for sale... :)

[Marmel]

Nice, I got 1 useful player out of 4. :(

[tucker342]

ehhh not bad...

[DolphinFan1]

I will probably have a decent DT on the trading block after I see my updated roster.

[korme]

Booo. :(

But hey! I have Gustav Gustavson at OT? Who the hell named him and when did I get him. This is too eerie of the JBL's Gustaf Gustavsson.

[The Afoci]

CW, do you still want to talk about trading... :(

[Swaggs]

If anyone is in the market for an outstanding young safety, Ronnie Lott Jr. or Red Herring is available.

Looking for a future first rounder and/or a MLB.

[NevStar]

OT & CB soon to be on the block for me. I might be interested in that DT DolphinFan.

[JeeberD]

Booo. :(

But hey! I have Gustav Gustavson at OT? Who the hell named him and when did I get him. This is too eerie of the JBL's Gustaf Gustavsson.

Gustav Gustavson is supposed to be on my bench. I'm not sure who named his since he was one of the guys I got in the expansion draft way back when. Not sure how he wound up on your squad.

JAG?

[JAG]

Gustav Gustavson is supposed to be on my bench. I'm not sure who named his since he was one of the guys I got in the expansion draft way back when. Not sure how he wound up on your squad.

JAG?

*cough cough* (damn rookie commish)

You are correct as the master roster file confirms. I looked one column to the right by accident. Change 'Gustav Gustavson' to 'Doragon' and it should read correctly.

[DolphinFan1]

OT & CB soon to be on the block for me. I might be interested in that DT DolphinFan.

NevStar, I may be interested in that OT. I'll let you know after our updated rosters come out. We may be able to cut a deal for my DT.

[JAG]

Got a bit of time, so rosters have been sent.

I haven't discussed a trade deadline, but let's say the deadline is they must be completed prior to the start of the week 4 games.

As it has been in the past, please feel free to announce trades and prominent cuts in the press (this thread), or anything of interest as it relates to your team. Have some fun with it. :)

Happy weekend to all.

[JeeberD]

Trade completed with Sachmo. Please confirm...

[sachmo71]

Trade between San Antonio and El Paso:

My 1st next year for Ryan Leaf(QB) and Bryant Westbrook(CB) and El Paso's 3rd next year.

[JAG]

Wowsa. Updating the rosters and draft picks for next year now.

EDIT: Incidently, is EP the San Antonio talent development pipeline? Leaf and Westbrook mark the second and third players the Busters have sent San Antonio in the past three seasons for SA draft picks. :)

[sachmo71]

Well, hopefully Leaf and Westbrook will help me as much as McLaughlin has! :)

[JeeberD]

LOL! :D





Hey, wait... :(

[sachmo71]

Dateline: San Antonio, Texas

Three Vets Call it Quits
"It's time for the young guys to get the glory," said Margarita Fullback Metalhead. "I was happy to stick around last year and help the guys take home the championship, but now it's time to let someone else take the reigns."
With that statement, and a few tears, one of the most feared fullbacks in the ZFL called it quits today. He will be missed.

Two more vets decided to hang them up, too. Spirited cornerback Deflector and defensive end Jimbo Jones also called it a career.
"It's been wonderful, and it sure beats working at the mall." said Deflector.
"I wouldn't trade it for the world. Winning the championship was a lifelong dream, but the friends I've made make the whole thing a wonderful experience." said Jimbo Jones.

Also shown the door was this years last pick in the draft, cornerback Sven.
"He sucked. Nothing more to say. Easiest cut I've ever had to make." said coach Sachmo.

[JAG]

Chris Mortensen's Trade Analysis:

San Antonio receives: QB Ryan Leaf, CB Bryant Westbrook, EP's 2009 3rd round pick.

El Paso receives: SA's 1st round pick.

Analysis: This is your classic trade that makes sense for both teams. Let's not kid ourselves about El Paso: McGwire's gonna be good, but he's gonna need help to bring the franchise to respectability. They dumped a couple of players who weren't going to contribute this year and sent a low draft pick to try and acquire better talent for the future.

For San Antonio, this deal was a no brainer. For the price of their first round pick next year, they have shored up the two biggest weaknesses on their team. Diperson, who has struggled making the transition to the ZFL, will sit the bench and try to learn from savvy ZFL veteran Leaf. With the addition of Westbrook to shore up the secondary, the Margarita defense, which was already dominating last year, should be even better. Add their exciting rookie wideout "Cool" Finlandia in as well and they have clearly established themselves as the class of the ZFL.

So the question is, what ZFL team will rise up to challenge the mighty Margaritas?

[NevStar]

It's a trading block! 3rd round pick for anybody except Willie. Looking for an OG or MLB of similar quality for Willie.

35 C Stampy the Elephant-DT
35 C Barney Gumble - OG
24 C Capital City Goofball - K
34 C Cletus 'The Slack Jawed' Yokel OLB
35 C+ Herschel 'Hey Hey' Krustofsky - CB

32 B Groundskeeper Willie - OT

[illinifan999]

Anyone have a WR rated C? Contact me if you'd like to work something out.

[DolphinFan1]

Milwaukee Trading Block:

24 - D+ Hole Opener - OG
36 - C+ Maximillion Powers - DT
24 - C The Wall - OT
34 - C Conan - WR
34 - C+ Wolverine - DE
27 - C+ Where Do You Think You're Going? - DT
23 - C+ Trade Bait Jackson - OT
22 - D Pound Machine - OG *Rookie*

I know it's not much but you never know what these may develop into. Some are young. Give me an offer.

[korme]

I have a 28 year old WR with C or C+ ratings illini.

Also, a 37 y/o OLB is B if anyone needs a 1 or 2 year filler.

[Coffee Warlord]

Trading Block, now that I'm back.

DT - Corporal Ziggy (22) (C)
WR - Chancellor Yang (23) (C)
DE - Herman the Hamster (24) (C+)
MLB - Pop Daddy Fuzz (22) (C)
S - Dust Puppy (24) (C)
FB - Boris 'Bruiser' Boriche (32) (C)
FB - Chief Eunuch (22) (D)
DE - Zeke the Quake God (22) (D+)

[tucker342]

Trading block

WR 22 C+ Hercules
OG 27 C+ Norman
FB 23 C Gus the Wonder Slug
CB 24 C+ Hektor
FB 35 D+ Hephaestus
CB 25 C He's not JeeberD
K 27 C+ Titan
OG 24 C+ John Doe
MLB 32 D+ Troy
OT 21 C+ Mars

I need
CB
WR
OG
FB

[digamma]

I have a 28 year old WR with C or C+ ratings illini.

Also, a 37 y/o OLB is B if anyone needs a 1 or 2 year filler.
We've reached an agreement...

37 y/o OLB to Knoxville for HB Sprint Jackson.

Adoption papers are being filed, and as soon as I learn the OLB's name, his surname will officially be Jackson.

Knoxville also announces the retirement of Bubba Jackson.

[The Afoci]

23 C Hurt Your Mommy - OLB
24 C Janet Jacksons Boob - OT
25 C+ Tom S
23 C+ Revrew Was Right DT
33 C Killer QB
24 B Dumbhead OT
24 B Farmer Dan - DE
26 C+ Stone Hammertoe-MLB

Need, OG, OLB, DT, S

[korme]

We've reached an agreement...

37 y/o OLB to Knoxville for HB Sprint Jackson.

Adoption papers are being filed, and as soon as I learn the OLB's name, his surname will officially be Jackson.

Knoxville also announces the retirement of Bubba Jackson.
The Chaps take in their first non-HR guy.

And send OLB Homsar (Jackson).

[tucker342]

Is it possible to have players switch positions?

[tucker342]

nevstar, you have a PM.

[JAG]

tucker,

Sorry, no position switching.

[JAG]

Chris Mortensen's Trade Analysis:

Chaps receive HB Sprint Jackson.

'Necks receive OLB Homsar (now named Homsar Jackson).

Analysis: A little roster-churning for both teams. Knoxville trades a bench-sitter for an upgrade at OLB, the third defender brought in by trade in the past two years. While Homsar's still effective, age has to be a concern as he's a true ZFL greybeard at 37 years old. Still, 2008 Knoxville draft pick Honky Tonk Jackson is waiting in the wings and would do well to study Homsar's technique for a training camp battle next year.

For the cost of a veteran who was going to provide nothing this year, Cincinnati dumps an original Chap in Homsar for a young running back to develop behind 34 year old starter Bubs. Good move for the Chaps to increase their depth. He could 'Sprint' onto the field as a starter in a couple of years.

[tucker342]

I didn't think so:D

[revrew]

Leaf to San Antonio???

Congratulations, sachmo, on your next ZFL championship...

[sachmo71]

Leaf to San Antonio???

Congratulations, sachmo, on your next ZFL championship...

You never know, but it helps. He did get a first rounder for him...

[JAG]

Just a reminder: Still need roster cuts from DolphinFan, digamma, tucker, and The Afoci.

2008 ZFL Schedule

Week 2008 Season
1 CH - EP FG - BH SA - AQ LA - CN PT - MW LR - KX

2 CN - EP MW - AQ KX - BH LR - CH PT - FG LA - SA

3 PT - EP LR - LA KX - SA MW - FG CN - CH AQ - BH

4 BH - EP CH - AQ FG - CN SA - MW LA - KX PT - LR

5 LR - EP PT - KX LA - MW SA - CN FG - AQ CH - BH

6 SA - EP LA - FG PT - CH LR - BH KX - AQ MW - CN

7 AQ - EP BH - CN CH - MW FG - KX SA - LR LA - PT

8 FG - EP SA - CH LA - BH PT - AQ LR - CN KX - MW

9 MW - EP KX - CN LR - AQ PT - BH LA - CH SA - FG

10 LA - EP PT - SA LR - FG KX - CH MW - BH CN - AQ

11 KX - EP LR - MW PT - CN LA - AQ SA - BH FG - CH

Schedule Highlights:

Week 1: The vaunted Sizzlack-led offense against the suffocating Magarita defense should make for a great opening week game. Little Rock rookie S Red Herring gets a huge test in his first game against the famed Knoxville receivers. A lot of competitive games for the opening week.

Week 2: The expansion teams (albeit a number of years later) go at it with El Paso looking for revenge from last season's loss.

Week 3: Another good week for offense vs. defense, as KX and AQ square off against SA and BH.

Week 4: OT Charlie, one of Fargo's first round draft picks, gets to tangle with an All-Pro DE in CN's Strong Mad.

Week 5: If MW-LA is tied at the end of 4, it will be a duel between perhaps the two most decorated kickers ever in the ZFL with Little Val Kilmer and Bruce "I'll kick your butt!" Handily. Also, two top young QB's duel in LR's Johnny Rotten and EP's Dan McGwire.

Week 6: Another Thumbless - Sizzlack duel and will we finally settle the Flamebeard - Sanders debate?

Week 7: Rookie DT's have a tough week with MW DT No Name Necessary gets to test his mettle against Chicago's OG Tom Sanders and LA's Bob Sagat against PT's Eric Flamebeard. Will Sanders have finally met his match? Will Flamebeard be disarmed against Sagat's wit and humor?

Week 8: Can Superman and the rest of the Musclemen defense hold off the Knoxville offense?

Week 9: Good battle of rookies on tap with Chap first round pick WR Population: Tire going head-to-head with LR S Red Herring.

Week 10: The PT - SA game determined the ZFL champion last year. Will it determine who wins the revrew trophy this year?

Week 11: Thumbless and rookie QB McGwire go head-to-head for the first time in their careers. Will the rook show up the veteran? Also, two top running teams collide in the Chicago - Fargo game.


Previews coming in the next day or two.

[JAG]

(note: I went a little over the top at times. Sorry if it bugs you guys.)

Once again, the amazing prognosticator and numerous time surgical patient former NFL offensive lineman Mark Schlereth tries to shed some light on the outlook for the 2008 ZFL season:

Mark Schlereth’s Preseason Picks:

There’s a huge middle class in the ZFL this year, as the league separates into three sections: Upper echelon (SA, PT, BH), middle class (MW, LA, KX, AQ), and bottom of the barrel (CH, LR, EP, FG, CN).

11-0 San Antonio – The champs look tougher than they did when they went undefeated last year. They still boast a tremendous defense with MVP Ray Lewis leading the way amidst a host of stars. The offense is primed to take a big step forward with QB Leaf leading the way and rookie WR Finlandia, the Chilly as a capable replacement for veteran WR revrew.

10-1 Portland – Sea Biscuits are still tough, but San Antonio took a bigger leap this offsesason. They still have all the studs we’ve known throughout the years, led by star OG Eric Flamebeard and WR Manfred von Richthofen. Their defense has improved with the addition of Dr. Hans Schlotnik. A lot of pressure on QB Paddy O to deliver this season with impatient GM Coffee Warlord expecting nothing less than a title from his squad.

9-2 Birmingham – A defense to rival the Margaritas, with the Atlantis twins at DE, ZFL vet Hera at DT, and safety Odysseus leading the unit, but the offense still needs some star power before they can truly compete for a ZFL title. Teams will have to be at their best to score off the Olympians this year though, with rookie MLB Excaliber taking over for broken down Troy, although a top offense might expose the Achilles heel of the team at CB with Hektor starting after He’s Not JeeberD’s second injury.

6-5 Milwaukee – The injury to OT No Sacks Allowed has put a damper on the offense. They have decent skill players lead by RB Ricky Williams, but their offensive line will limit the offensive production. The addition of DROY candidate DT No Name Necessary and the attention teams will have to give him should allow LBs Zach Thomas and superstar Superman to flourish.

6-5 Los Angeles – The players on LA certainly live up to the team’s name, with Stars all over the roster. Ray Liotta, Toby “Spiderman” McGwire, Brad Pitt, excellent bookend tackles with Mathew McConaughey and Freddie Prinze Jr., and more. In addition, they have really boosted their interior OL the past two years with Howard Stern and Mark Goodman. So why are they considered middle class instead of upper-echelon? Bernie Mac at quarterback.

6-5 Knoxville – Candidate for ‘most incorrect prediction’, they’ve worked hard to improve their defense, but still lack the stars there outside of perennial All-Pro CB Deion Jackson. The offense hardly needs an introduction with outstanding WR’s Jackson Jackson and Luke Jackson catching passes from Thumbless Jackson, and Leon Jackson supplying the ground game. It might well be the ZFL’s best.

6-5 Albuquerque – We all know the stars on offense, led by superstar QB Moe “Kid Gruesome” Sizzlack and OT Ralph Wiggum (bent Wookie and all), but they still need some more defensive standouts to take the next step. Their guards are pretty average as well, and Guy Incognito could have some tough running to do against teams with good DTs. But they still have Kid Gruesome at QB and that should be good for some wins.

4-7 Chicago – If they could find an OLB, their defense could be downright frightening. As it is, should be improved from last year, especially at DT where MLB El Capone may finally have a chance to show what he can do with solid DTs in front of him. A couple of holes on offense could come back to haunt them.

3-8 Little Rock – They have a number of pieces in place with young QB Johnny Rotten, RB Rajah Saleem, and a young emerging defense. Still need a few more players on both sides of the ball to make a jump in the standings

3-8 El Paso – How much is a stud QB worth? For this squad, two more wins. McGwire and FB Rayshaan Salaam are outstanding on offense and MLB Brian Bosworth is tremendous on defense, but there are still a number of so-so players to replace before El Paso can get over the .500 hump.

2-9 Fargo – Making strides, especially on offense with the Ordinary Guys (OT Charlie and OG Ray) leading the offensive line for stud backs RB Glutton for Punishment and FB Ty Wick. But the defense was the worst in the ZFL last year and hasn’t improved much. At least the games will be more exciting.

0-11 Cincinnati – Outside of DE Strong Mad, no real standouts on the team, although few glaring weaknesses as well. Tough draft for the Chaps with numerous picks not meeting their level of expectation. It’s going to be a tough rebuilding job for Shorty with age at numerous positions and a need for stars all over the roster.


The emerging popularity of the ZFL has allowed us to gather a number of other opinions on 2008 ZFL predictions from sources we haven’t heard from in years past, as well as one familiar name.


Jimmy Johnson (analyst and former Cowboys / Dolphins coach):

Revrew trophy winner: Puhleeze. San Antonio hands down. I like sachmo’s wheeling and dealing style!

Cellar-Dweller: Chaps. They are cursed with their injuries and did you see that drafting job this year? Shorty, give me a call and let me give you some pointers.

Comeback Player of the Year: I think Brad Pitt is gonna have a heck of a year after a downturn last year. They threw out Ed Norton who couldn’t move at all and stuck a first round pick in there to help keep blockers off him.


Al Michaels (broadcaster):

Revrew trophy winner: San Antonio’ll be wasting away again in Margaritaville, with the ZFL’s first revrew trophy.

Cellar-Dwellar: There’s a reason Cincinnati isn’t playing on Monday night this year.

Comeback Player of the Year: Chicago’s El Capone looked good last year, but with those solid rookie DTs in front of him should have a breakout year.


Michael Irvin (analyst and former Cowboys WR):

Revrew trophy winner: PORTLAND WILL COME ON LIKE GANGBUSTERS THIS YEAR, MANFRED VON RICHTHOFEN IS MY MAN!

Cellar-Dwellar: CHICAGO. WHO THE HECK IS WR CHAD SPEARS? I COULD START AHEAD OF HIM. MY YOUNGEST SISTER COULD START AHEAD OF HIM.

Comeback Player of the Year: RYAN LEAF WILL BE WAYYYYYY HAPPIER IN SAN ANTONIO THAN HE WOULD BE IN EL PASO.


Barry Switzer (former Cowboys coach):

"Boy, I wish I had coached in the ZFL. Always have to go for it on 4th down, stupid newsreporters wouldn't make this news every #*$&# day for a month."


Revrew trophy winner: Fargo. I think OT Largesmallboobs is going to be one of the all-time ZFL greats!

Cellar-Dwellar: San Antonio. The undefeated record last year was a fluke. And that is a gun in my pocket AND I’m happy to see you.

Comeback Player of the Year: This will be the year CB Deflector lives up to his, eh what’s that? He was CUT?!? Quick, sign him!


John Kerry (Presidential Candidate):

Revrew trophy winner: I’m going with the liberal choice of Birmingham. Their great defense will ‘carry’ the day for them. No, San Antonio. No, Portland. No…

Cellar-Dwellar: Definitely El Paso. Definitely. Or Cincinnati. Or Fargo. Or Chicago. Or….

Comeback Player of the Year: There are so many outstanding candidates from so many wonderful United States cities with so many registered voters it’s difficult to pick just one.


George W. Bush (President of the United States of America):

Revrew trophy winner: The conservative choice is San Antonio. America loves a good winner and can rally behind this team. They also fit in well with our recent policy on torture, as they will torture the rest of the league.

Cellar-Dwellar: My heart goes out to the good people of Fargo. These patriotic people who bleed red, white, and blue have not had a winner in a number of years. I think GM The Afoci has to change his strategery.

Comeback Player of the Year: CB Tommy “TNT” Toothpick for the Slick Willies. Really any of the Slick Willies after the release of that Clinton book.


Joe Six-Pack:

Revrew trophy winner: San Antonio won last year. Dere gonna win again dis year. Dat Ray Lewis guy is good. Really good. Dey should change dere name to Buds or Millers though. I don’t like Margaritas.

Cellar-Dweller: El Paso stunk last year. Dere gonna stink again dis year. Rookie QBs stink. Dey stink bad.

Comeback Player of the Year: Eh? Aren’t dey all coming back dis year?


13-year old Cody Turren of Bozeman, Montana:

Revrew trophy winner: Indubitably, prescient quantification of organized individuals acting in pre-determined patterns rely upon underlying quantum interactions. Copious neutrino outbursts generally signify a preponderance of self-protective aptitude while meson eruptions indicate a predilection towards aggressive proclivity. Evaluating particle output illustrates the interpretation of a triumphant San Antonio.

Cellar-Dweller: Fargo. I couldn’t even get a neutrino / meson reading from them.

Comeback Player of the Year: I’ll have to get back to you, Robert Harris is here to beat the snot out of me again.

[korme]

great :D

[sachmo71]

Oy! Maybe it's time to expand the league!

[JeeberD]

Three potential wins, woohoo! :D

I have a chance to start off the season 2-0. Of course, after that things get ugly...

[Coffee Warlord]

Hmm....how to one up San Antonio.

Alright, who's got a top of the line QB on the market? :)

[JAG]

Still need roster cuts from The Afoci (whose pm box is full) and tucker. I'll try to get week 1 out Thursday but it's gonna be close and depends on how long it takes for me to do games for the first time.

Shorty: You might need that good sense of humor to get through this year. :)

sachmo: I'm pretty sure your comment was in jest, but to answer anyway: I'm open to lots of ideas and tweaks, but I definitely want to get through a season or two before making any changes. Besides, contraction would be better to combine a couple of teams to make one that could beat SA. ;) By the way, as I recall, Portland was favored to win it all last year...

Jeeber: Yeah, the schedule-makers weren't too kind to you for weeks 3-6. (sorry :) )

Coffee: Now THAT would make for an exciting trade. Who would have the guts to trade a franchise QB though? And what would it take to pry one away? Mortensen would have a field day with this one. ;)

[Coffee Warlord]

That's right. Who has the guts to trade a franchise QB?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

[revrew]

Excellent write-ups, JAG. The ZFL is in capable hands...


...sachmo's. ;)

[Coffee Warlord]

Not if Portland has anything to say about it. :)

[JAG]

Thanks for your patience guys. I have everyone's rosters and am in the process of finishing Week 1's writeups, which I should have finished today.