Karlifornia
06-13-2004, 10:34 PM
Ok....I feel like telling a story about myself, and, since I know I'm not terribly interesting, I'm inviting you guys to tell everyone a better one. Hopefully not everyone has, as Lute Olsen once said, shot their wad. Here goes:
One night three years ago, when I was 17, my friends Glenn, Russian Robert, and mexican Robert were very bored and decided to get some alcohol. Mexican Robert and myself had only drank beer once or twice before, so the prospect of some hard stuff was extremely exciting. Russian Robert, who was freshly 21, took us to the nearest liquor store and purchased us a multitude of vodka, possibly because he was homesick (he was extremely new to the US at the time). The only problem that we had was a kosher spot to drink at, as none of us even wanted to try getting fucked up in front our parents. Glenn said he knew a perfect location to down it, and since I was anxious to experiment, I had didn't even ask him about it.
Well, about 3 minutes later (it was late, but not too late, like 11:30), Glenn directed Ruskie Robert into the parking lot of the movie theater where he worked. I thought "Oh, drinking in a secluded parking lot. No shit."
So I started to crack open one of the bottles, but then I learned we were actually breaking into the theater, via climbing some stairs and poking through a hatch above the projection room. So, we eventually get in, after ducking what we thought were passing police cars a few times, and settle into one of the theatres. We begin drinking.....and drinking......and to make a long inebriation short, I drink until I start start puking all over myself, and the seats surronding me. My cohorts couldn't have cared less until a cleaning crew showed up. Assumingly (I was too far gone to really remember how), we left as we had came in, through the projection room. Everything was hunky dory as we made our way back to the car, except that Glenn notes that I only had one shoe. Fuck. So Glenn runs back into his place of business and retrieves my shoe.
So, Mexican Robert called his mom (who worked at Jack in the Crack, and spoke no ingles) to give me a lift home. We arrived at my place, and Robert helped me unlock my door, and once inside I promptly passed out on my couch, with puke all over my pants. All good, right? Of course not. (the following as told to me by mummy and Mexican Robert) My mom's beloved chow chow "Allie" had escaped out of the front gate I left wide open. Now Mexican Robert new that my mom would kill both of us if the dog got away, so Robert had to leave my dead ass on the couch and drunkenly chase my dog down the street. By this time my mom had awoken, and was furious that she had to go with Mexi to chase the dog that she might have loved even more than I.
Now, here is the kicker......As Robert chasesd the dog down the street, a car coming towards him slowed down and, in Spanish, offered to sell him weed. Robert declined this offer politely, and resumed the dog chase. Eventually Robert snared her on the other side of the road, much to my mom's relief. However, as Robert walked the dog back to my house, the dope-peddler flipped a bitch and once again stopped alongside Robert, this time pointing a gun at him and saying "Come here and suck my dick".
Robert began to run, and shouted at my mom to run back to the house. Eventually they got there and called the police. in the meantime, Robert's mom showed up and began simulataneously hugging him and yelling at him en Espanol. The cops came and took down the story all while I was lying right there on the couch covered in vomit. Anyways, nothing else came of it, except everyone constantly telling Mexican Robert to "Suck my dick", because, that's what friends are for.
ok, now you.
One night three years ago, when I was 17, my friends Glenn, Russian Robert, and mexican Robert were very bored and decided to get some alcohol. Mexican Robert and myself had only drank beer once or twice before, so the prospect of some hard stuff was extremely exciting. Russian Robert, who was freshly 21, took us to the nearest liquor store and purchased us a multitude of vodka, possibly because he was homesick (he was extremely new to the US at the time). The only problem that we had was a kosher spot to drink at, as none of us even wanted to try getting fucked up in front our parents. Glenn said he knew a perfect location to down it, and since I was anxious to experiment, I had didn't even ask him about it.
Well, about 3 minutes later (it was late, but not too late, like 11:30), Glenn directed Ruskie Robert into the parking lot of the movie theater where he worked. I thought "Oh, drinking in a secluded parking lot. No shit."
So I started to crack open one of the bottles, but then I learned we were actually breaking into the theater, via climbing some stairs and poking through a hatch above the projection room. So, we eventually get in, after ducking what we thought were passing police cars a few times, and settle into one of the theatres. We begin drinking.....and drinking......and to make a long inebriation short, I drink until I start start puking all over myself, and the seats surronding me. My cohorts couldn't have cared less until a cleaning crew showed up. Assumingly (I was too far gone to really remember how), we left as we had came in, through the projection room. Everything was hunky dory as we made our way back to the car, except that Glenn notes that I only had one shoe. Fuck. So Glenn runs back into his place of business and retrieves my shoe.
So, Mexican Robert called his mom (who worked at Jack in the Crack, and spoke no ingles) to give me a lift home. We arrived at my place, and Robert helped me unlock my door, and once inside I promptly passed out on my couch, with puke all over my pants. All good, right? Of course not. (the following as told to me by mummy and Mexican Robert) My mom's beloved chow chow "Allie" had escaped out of the front gate I left wide open. Now Mexican Robert new that my mom would kill both of us if the dog got away, so Robert had to leave my dead ass on the couch and drunkenly chase my dog down the street. By this time my mom had awoken, and was furious that she had to go with Mexi to chase the dog that she might have loved even more than I.
Now, here is the kicker......As Robert chasesd the dog down the street, a car coming towards him slowed down and, in Spanish, offered to sell him weed. Robert declined this offer politely, and resumed the dog chase. Eventually Robert snared her on the other side of the road, much to my mom's relief. However, as Robert walked the dog back to my house, the dope-peddler flipped a bitch and once again stopped alongside Robert, this time pointing a gun at him and saying "Come here and suck my dick".
Robert began to run, and shouted at my mom to run back to the house. Eventually they got there and called the police. in the meantime, Robert's mom showed up and began simulataneously hugging him and yelling at him en Espanol. The cops came and took down the story all while I was lying right there on the couch covered in vomit. Anyways, nothing else came of it, except everyone constantly telling Mexican Robert to "Suck my dick", because, that's what friends are for.
ok, now you.