HT: The Ins and Outs of Intercourse (Season 23)

[YoSoySean]

This is a brand spanking new Dynasty Report for my hattrick team, the Intercourse Ball Kickers. Season 23 will be our 6th straight season in IV.5 and we're the favorite to win the series. I'll start this thread with general information about the team.

Intercourse Ball Kickers

Country: USA
Region: Pennsylvania
Arena: The House That Money Built (60606 seats)
Language: English
Series: # 3 in IV.5
Fan club: Athletic Supporters






Team History
6/6/2004 Intercourse Ball Kickers finished as number 3 in IV.5 season 22

4/1/2004 The team was kicked out of the Cup at round 5 season 22

2/15/2004 Intercourse Ball Kickers finished as number 2 in IV.5 season 21

12/4/2003 The team was kicked out of the Cup at round 4 season 21

10/26/2003 Intercourse Ball Kickers finished as number 2 in IV.5 season 20

8/28/2003 The team was kicked out of the Cup at round 6 season 20

7/6/2003 Intercourse Ball Kickers finished as number 1 in IV.5 season 19

4/24/2003 The team was kicked out of the Cup at round 4 season 19

3/16/2003 Intercourse Ball Kickers finished as number 4 in IV.5 season 18

12/12/2002 The team was kicked out of the Cup at round 1 season 18

11/24/2002 Intercourse Ball Kickers finished as number 1 in V.46 season 17

9/5/2002 The team was kicked out of the Cup at round 3 season 17

8/3/2002 Intercourse Ball Kickers finished as number 3 in V.46 season 16

6/5/2002 The club changed owner as yosoysean took control and renamed it Intercourse Ball Kickers

[YoSoySean]

Transfer History

Total Purchases: 43 983 004 US$
Total Sales: 42 316 023 US$
Difference: -1 666 982 US$
Number of transfers: 195




Economy

Cash funds: 198 459 US$ (622 685) US$
Supporter Club: 2263 members
Wages: 74 080 US$



Arena Stats

Region: Pennsylvania
Last improvement: 9/23/2003
Total capacity: 60606

Terraces: 38180
Basic seating: 15150
Seats under roof: 6060
Seats in VIP boxes: 1216


Player stats and more to come later.

[YoSoySean]

So... here's the line-up.

Keepers

Milton Moody
TSI = 43 880, 20 years, passable form
Has disastrous experience and poor leadership abilities


Stamina: weak Keeper: supernatural
Playmaking: wretched Passing: disastrous
Winger: disastrous Defending: disastrous
Scoring: disastrous Set Pieces: disastrous

I used to train keepers and this is the guy I ended up keeping. He's had about 3 weeks of training since hitting supernatural. He obviously anchors my defense. Gets 6.5-7 stars.

Juan Luis Bausa Lopez
TSI = 2 710, 20 years, weak form
Has disastrous experience and passable leadership abilities


Stamina: poor Keeper: solid
Playmaking: disastrous Passing: disastrous
Winger: disastrous Defending: wretched
Scoring: disastrous Set Pieces: wretched

Lopez hardly ever plays. Even in friendly cups I started Moody. I'll likely be replacing him relatively soon because he's Brazilian and I'm working on getting as many Americans as I can.


Defenders

Charlie Ryder
TSI = 2 920, 21 years, solid form
Has wretched experience and weak leadership abilities


Stamina: solid Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: solid Passing: weak
Winger: poor Defending: excellent
Scoring: poor Set Pieces: passable

Ryder is my Aussie ocd. I bought him late in March because I needed help in the midfield and wasn't afraid to sacrifice defense. He'll likely be replaced sometime midseason when I have the money to upgrade.

Steve O'Halloran
TSI = 470, 33 years, weak form
Has inadequate experience and poor leadership abilities


Stamina: solid Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: poor Passing: weak
Winger: wretched Defending: excellent
Scoring: passable Set Pieces: solid

I bought O'Halloran a couple of seasons ago when I decided that I wanted to get a bunch defenders with experience to cut down on lack of experience events. He's also my set piece taker. He, with the other two starters, are likely to be replaced this season.

Matt Rasmussen
TSI = 810, 32 years, passable form
Has passable experience and wretched leadership abilities


Stamina: excellent Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: poor Passing: wretched
Winger: weak Defending: excellent
Scoring: inadequate Set Pieces: disastrous

The 3rd of the starting back line, the Canadian Rasmussen was bought around the same time as O'Halloran.

Jason Paulson
TSI = 1 410, 25 years, excellent form
Has poor experience and inadequate leadership abilities [Head]


Stamina: poor Keeper: wretched
Playmaking: poor Passing: passable
Winger: weak Defending: solid
Scoring: weak Set Pieces: wretched

Nothing much to say about Paulson. I bought him when the new strategies were introduced, figuring he'd be a pretty good counter-attacking defender. He hasn't started a meaningful match in a while, but he does play if form is right.

Lonny Gonzalez
TSI = 350, 21 years, solid form
Has wretched experience and poor leadership abilities


Stamina: weak Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: poor Passing: weak
Winger: weak Defending: passable
Scoring: wretched Set Pieces: poor

Your basic cheap backup.

Agus Kurniawan Hariansyah
TSI = 20, 37 years, inadequate form
Has solid experience and passable leadership abilities


Stamina: solid Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: poor Passing: weak
Winger: wretched Defending: inadequate
Scoring: poor Set Pieces: disastrous

In his heyday, Agus was a passable defender with passable winger skill. It's expected that he will be named the next Ball Kicker coach next week.

[YoSoySean]

The Midfield

Stanford Sylvester
TSI = 15 210, 21 years, passable form
Has poor experience and wretched leadership abilities [Powerful]


Stamina: excellent Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: magnificent Passing: poor
Winger: poor Defending: weak
Scoring: poor Set Pieces: poor

Sylvester was just bought a few days ago and made his debut in wednesday's friendly. We needed an upgrade at IM and he was on the market so we grabbed him.

Stanislav Obukhov
TSI = 12 120, 21 years, excellent form
Has wretched experience and inadequate leadership abilities [Quick]


Stamina: excellent Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: brilliant Passing: passable
Winger: poor Defending: poor
Scoring: poor Set Pieces: weak

Obukhov was bought very early in the season last season. It'll still be a while before I sell him. Had a 5* performance as an offensive IM last match.

Per Hansson
TSI = 6 250, 23 years, solid form
Has weak experience and inadequate leadership abilities [Technical]


Stamina: excellent Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: outstanding Passing: weak
Winger: weak Defending: weak
Scoring: poor Set Pieces: poor

The only Swede on the team, Hansson has now played nearly two full seasons in Intercourse. He's been around the longest of any of the starters but will probably be replaced somewhere near the middle or towards the end of the season.

Anitoni Ashton
TSI = 14 740, 21 years, inadequate form
Has wretched experience and poor leadership abilities [Powerful]


Stamina: excellent Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: formidable Passing: weak
Winger: brilliant Defending: weak
Scoring: weak Set Pieces: wretched

Ashton was a recent addition to the team and he made a huge contribution. The attack on his side is always great and he does wonders for the midfield.

Wlodzimierz Maksymowicz
TSI = 2 010, 26 years, inadequate form
Has solid experience and passable leadership abilities


Stamina: excellent Keeper: wretched
Playmaking: excellent Passing: weak
Winger: poor Defending: inadequate
Scoring: weak Set Pieces: weak

Wlodimierz is next in line to coach the team after Agus. He also starts when form is in his favor.

Billy Bob Connelly
TSI = 550, 31 years, passable form
Has solid experience and wretched leadership abilities


Stamina: passable Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: solid Passing: poor
Winger: wretched Defending: inadequate
Scoring: weak Set Pieces: brilliant

I bought Billy Bob in my first season in IV.5 because of his set pieces. Despite being a midfielder, he led the series in season 18 in scoring with 19 goals.

Buster Arce
TSI = 190, 28 years, poor form
Has poor experience and wretched leadership abilities [Quick]


Stamina: inadequate Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: inadequate Passing: inadequate
Winger: wretched Defending: weak
Scoring: poor Set Pieces: weak

Buster is only around for his name. He does fill in the midfield for meaningless friendlies.

[YoSoySean]

Forwards/Trainees

I only have 5 for now because I'm training passing in the offseason.

Teddy Santana
TSI = 16 360, 23 years, solid form
Has poor experience and solid leadership abilities


Stamina: solid Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: wretched Passing: inadequate
Winger: wretched Defending: weak
Scoring: magnificent Set Pieces: weak

I overpaid for Santana a couple of seasons ago because he was the only American at his skill level (brilliant at the time) and he's a clown. He has bumped once since I started training scoring midway through last season. He'll be trained one more season to keep the attack ratings up.

Chad Hobson
TSI = 5 900, 19 years, excellent form
Has wretched experience and weak leadership abilities


Stamina: poor Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: weak Passing: inadequate
Winger: wretched Defending: poor
Scoring: outstanding Set Pieces: poor

Starter #2, Hobson is VERY close to bumping to brilliant. He'll likely be trained through season 24.

Burl Smallman
TSI = 1 760, 19 years, passable form
Has wretched experience and weak leadership abilities


Stamina: weak Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: wretched Passing: inadequate
Winger: poor Defending: wretched
Scoring: excellent Set Pieces: disastrous

Smallman is my only non-American trainee but won't likely be around for much longer. He, like Hobson, is very close to bumping and will be sold whenever that happens.

Chris Pierre
TSI = 1 868, 17 years, solid form
Has disastrous experience and poor leadership abilities


Stamina: poor Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: poor Passing: solid
Winger: inadequate Defending: weak
Scoring: solid Set Pieces: poor

Pierre is a longterm trainee. He will be trained to a high level then kept for a long time. I'll be training passing a bit more too, probably next season, so I'm hoping for a high level scorer with formidable passing.

Steve Kang
TSI = 1 170, 17 years, passable form
Has disastrous experience and passable leadership abilities [Unpredictable]


Stamina: weak Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: poor Passing: passable
Winger: wretched Defending: weak
Scoring: solid Set Pieces: disastrous

Kang is my other longterm guy. He's a scoring machine in friendlies which will hopefully carry over to when he starts in meaningful matches.

[sterlingice]

Well, you've got one reader. :D

SI

[YoSoySean]

The big season starts a week from now. Will IBK finally get out of IV.5? The answer is a definately "maybe". Early in the season, it appears to be a 2-team dogfight for auto-promotion with the rest of the series being fairly weak.

Here are my fearful predictions of how this season will go:

#1 Intercourse Ball Kickers
Season 22 avg NSI: 89.0
Season 22 avg stars: 43.4
Season 22 finish: 3rd in IV.5

It's hard to argue with calling myself a favorite to win the series. We're the most well rounded team in the series and we averaged an NSI of 100.3 over the last 3 matches, one of them was a PIC with my best forward benched. The one problem is that the team that we're fighting for first has our number. The last four times they played us, they beat us 4-2 (by injuring 3 of our best players), pressed us into two ties, then got blown out by us when they PICed because they didn't think they could win with their form/injuries. A better coach (for team spirit purposes) and a couple upgrades to our SL should have us on top.

#2 Reseda Rollergirls
Season 22 avg NSI: 84.9
Season 22 avg stars: 41.6
Season 22 finish: 2nd in IV.5

The Rollergirls are much scarier than they sound. Led by USA nat team Nathan Longoria, Reseda has one of the scariest wing attacks in USA IV. All of their wingers are well-rounded so they get good attack and midfield ratings, despite having inferior forwards and IMs. They've always been a bane in my existenceand are a real challenge to take the IV.5 title. I can't see any other team challenging them and the Ball Kickers for the top two spots.

#3 Louisiana Cyclones
Season 22 avg NSI: 82.4
Season 22 avg stars: 42.0
Season 22 finish: 4th in IV.5

FOFC's own Doug5984 owns the Cyclones, who seem one step behind the top two teams and many steps ahead of the rest in the series. They took the series by suprise by finishing 4th in their first season in season 20 and have been right with all the big boys since. The Cyclones have a good midfield and the best defense in the series, but their offense lacks any punch. An upgrade at the forward position would do wonders for this team.


From 4th to 6th it's pretty much a crap shoot. It's hard to tell who will finish where....

#4 Mergansers
Season 22 avg NSI: 69.5
Season 22 avg stars: 34.1
Season 22 finish: 6th in IV.5

After looking straight in the face of auto-demotion, Mergansers won their last two matches and a qualification match to stay in IV.5. I would consider that a success for them in their first season here. As is the theme with 3 of the 4 teams competing for 4th, they have a very good defense, an ok midfield, and practically no attack. They are making the proper steps though, as I thought they were an auto-demotee from the moment they auto-promoted.

#5 Thistle FC
Season 22 avg NSI: 69.6
Season 22 avg stars: 34.9
Season 22 finish: 1st in V.121

One of 2 auto-promoting teams, Thistle FC sets themselves apart from the rest. While the rest have great defenses, Thistle has a pretty good midfield and is balanced. One auto-promotee usually makes a splash in our series and I except them to be that team this season.

#6 Rockville Rox
Season 22 avg NSI: 69.9
Season 22 avg stars: 39.3
Season 22 finish: 5th in IV.5

Rockville is the elder stateman of the series. Now in their 7th+ season in IV.5, they are 1st all-time in matches played and 3rd in points (behind IBK and III.13's Submarines). Despite all the time in the series, they have never finished better than 3rd (season 18) or worse than 6th (season 21). I don't expect them to break that streak this season. For a long time, they looked stagnant and without a training program, but they've finally gotten it together and started training some defenders. They still need help in the midfield and attack. As I've said with other teams, they can finish anywhere between 4th and 6th.

#7 Liechtenstein Liechtenstinians
Season 22 avg NSI: 60.3
Season 22 avg stars: 32.5
Season 22 finish: 1st in V.154

LL (as I'll now call them because I don't feel like learning how to spell the name) really just does not belong in IV. They were in an easy V series and will likely be one-and-done in IV. Their ratings and training of old people won't cut it around here. However, if they happen to be sitting on a little bit of money to improve and things fall their way, they could nab a qualification spot.

#8 NIKE 2004 FC
Season 22 avg NSI: 71.0
Season 22 avg stars: 33.8
Season 22 finish: 7th in III.3

Well... I'm assure to get at least one right. I know what you're thinking. "They don't look that bad. Why are they predicted 8th?" Four simple words. "Line-up has been reset." Yep, we got a bot team auto-demoting into our series. Yay!