I hate bats

[Draft Dodger]

if I could change one thing about my house, it would be to get the motherfucking bats out of our attic. permanently. We've been in our house 5 years (5 years today, actually), and once or twice a summer, a bat gets stuck in our house.

sometimes, it's not that startling. the time we woke up in the middle of the night to have a bat circling our bedroom wasn't a lot of fun. And the time I came home from work into a dark porch and have one swooping at my head wasn't too cool either (and that one I couldn't catch...had to kill, and I didn't really like to do that).

but tonight might take the cake.

well, it started last night. my pregnant wife got up at 3am to pee. while sitting, she saw the bat fluttering around the bathroom. maybe it's because we're used to this, but amazingly, she didn't panic - she got out pretty quickly, but did see where the bat landed (right over the door). unfortunately, by the time I got in there, he was gone, and we couldn't find him. I suspected he might be in my closet hanging on/behind my clothes (THAT made getting dressed for work kind of interesting today), but he was nowhere to be found. and our 3 cats were of no help.

fast forward to tonight. still no bat - after all the noise we'd been making in the bathroom, we were starting to think he had somehow left the way he got in (however that is). I was at work...and again, the bat waitied until Christine had to pee before coming out. the way our bathroom is, there's a wooden medcine cabinet above the toilet. so, Christine is sitting down, here's a rustling, and the bat swoops down from the medicine cabinet, just missing her by a few inches. again, I think I would have probably passed out, but she maintained her composure. she even tried to catch him when he landed, but she chickened out.

so, I came home, grabbed some gloves and a tupperware bowl, and tried to muster up the courage to get him. he ended up at the back of my closet - it's about 15' deep, but it's very narrow. since he's at the back, if he gets spooked, the only way out is, essentially, through me. gulp. it definitely took me a while to work up the courage (I'm not afraid so much as I am bothered by their unpredictable nature...as in, when this totally still rodent is going to realize I'm creeping in and fly away). I finally managed to get the bowl slammed over him, covered with some carboard, and got him outside to release him. I'm sure he'll be back in our attic soon, but, for now, or house is bat-free.

[cthomer5000]

scary.

[Maple Leafs]

Judging by your RWBL team, I'd say you certianly do have an aversion to bats.

(Crickets chirping.)

Thanks folks, I'll be here all night!

(Tumbleweed blows by.)

[Eaglesfan27]

A bat flew into my hair when I was 6. I wet my pants. I hate bats too.

[Draft Dodger]

Judging by your RWBL team, I'd say you certianly do have an aversion to bats.

(Crickets chirping.)

Thanks folks, I'll be here all night!

(Tumbleweed blows by.)

not true - my pitchers are extremely adept at hitting bats.

[Hurst2112]

I have several bat stories. Some very similar to yours. It's good to see that you were able to let the bat go without killing it. I have had to kill a couple when I was in high school, living in my parents basement. I have also done the tupperware thing when the bat was hanging off of the kitchen window screen.

From what I have learned, bats are very territorial in that they tend to come back to the same house even after they are 'scared away'.

[Sweed]

I was told this by a friend that had bats in his attic. I don't know if it's really true of not but he swears by it.

He had a professional come to do something about the bats in his attic. The pro
told him that he had approx 50 bats in his attic. He said that bats always enter the house in the same hole and leave by a different one. The solution is to find the hole they come in from and block it. When the bats leave out their extit they will not return if the entry hole is blocked. He said the pro sealed the entrance and within a short time all the bats were gone. He then sealed the exit once the attic was clear.

Might be worth checking into.

[Draft Dodger]

50

yikes. I'm sure there's some up there, I sure hope it's not 50.
I didn't realize it they only came in via one hole. that may be a cheaper solution than I expected...

[Glengoyne]

Bats....We've got stinking bats. They're nothing. Well then again they are not IN our house, they just dive bomb us when we go outside at night. I'll trade you the bats in your house for the black widows in my mail box any time. I have gotten so used to them that I don't even post about them here now, I just spray the mailbox when they appear. The problem has gotten worse, now that we have changed mail carriers, and this one is exacerbating our spider problem. She apparently doesn't like black widows either, so she throws the mail deep into the box, instead of setting it on the front threshold. I can't even walk up and get the mail anymore in the evenings, because I don't want to stick my hand all the way back there in the dark.

Oh and next time you need to catch a bat. I hear pillow cases are better than Tupperware.

[Sweed]

50

yikes. I'm sure there's some up there, I sure hope it's not 50.
I didn't realize it they only came in via one hole. that may be a cheaper solution than I expected...

Just remember this is second hand knowledge so I can't vouch for it 100%, so take it for what it's worth. I had never heard it until he told me this past spring.

[Franklinnoble]

A bat flew into my hair when I was 6. I wet my pants.
QOTM material...

[Rizon]

Reminds me of a time when me and my good friend took a road trip. We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like, "I feel a bit lightheaded. Maybe you should drive." Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full with what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, and a voice was screaming "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?!" My buddy was like "Did you say something?" I was like "Hm? Nevermind. It's your turn to drive." No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough.

[Suicane75]

About 2 years ago at about 3am i heard my grandmother scream, i ran into the living room and could make out from the shadows on the celing that something was flying around the kitchen, i told my grandmother to go into the utility closet and that i would be right there, i proceeded to slink into my bedroom and call 911, im a pussy.

[rkmsuf]

It's so simple. Just put a wooden stake through their hearts during the day while they are asleep. Problem solved.

[TargetPractice6]

I was at a night football game once. Suddenly a bat swoops down and inexplicably latches on to the leg of the guy setting next to me, who was wearing jeans. The weird part was the thing just stayed there fastened to the man's jeans and wouldn't go away.

We set in the top row of the endzone and there is a little area at the top wear you can buy concessions. A security officer was standing against the railing up there (so he was only about 10 feet away and could see the whole the thing since pretty much everybody in the section was looking at the bat by now). So the guy called to the officer to help him with this bat. The officer then got that retractable club-like thing off of his belt (I can't remember the name of it right now) and walked down the steps towards the man. He stodd as far away and possible and extended his arm to pry the bat off the man's leg with the club. It worked at the bat took off fairly low which probably caused the entire row in front of us to nearly have a heart attack.

I believe this was at the Kentucky-Arkansas game last season. Kentucky was playing pretty bad up the point and Arkansas had a pretty big lead. But after the bat incident Kentucky came back to take the game into overtime. Seven of them...

[korme]

Two QOTM's in a row!