The Milwaukee Monarchs

[Fourth_and_42]

NFL and AFL Fold: New Professional League Formed
By Thormbard Hummerlink

NEW YORK (FP) -- A new professional football league has formed out of the ashes of this weeks bizarre self destruction of the old AFL and NFL professional leagues.

The TOFA, or Trans-Oceanic Football Alliance, has been hastily put together by a loose confederation of millionaires and billionaires and corporate interests. They announced the rapid fire formation of 32 teams divided into two 4 division conferences. This development coming less than a week after the staggering and completely unexplained collapse of the previously flourishing AFL and NFL leagues is as impressive as it is suspicious.

The NFL and AFL announced separately on Monday that their assets had been seized due to a Federal investigation into financing irregularities and that the leagues have been forbidden by injunction from continuing their business activities. The First Bank of America in New York also announced that the bank accounts of all franchises involved had been indefinitely frozen by request of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

A spokesman for the Cal-Pak Corporation, coincidentally the proud owners of the new Philadelphia Liberty franchise had this to say about the weeks staggering developments; “The Cal-Pak Corporation is proud to be a part of the new pro football league and is looking forward to it’s association with what is sure to be an ample opportunity for future advertising potential.”

When asked about the fact that the First Bank of America in New York is a recently acquired subsidy of the Cal-Pak Corporation the spokesman declined any further comment and had the reporters escorted from the building.

[Fourth_and_42]

TOFA League Format and Franchise Announcement.
by Thurmond Cremm

CHICAGO (FP) -- The Trans-Oceanic Football Association announced its league and divisional format, franchise names and locations, today, less than one week after the staggering collapse of the former professional football leagues. Spokesmen for the league also announced plans for a 16 week annual schedule and a 12 team playoff format. Officials denied comment following questions by a tribune reporter on the unusual rapid formation of such a varied and detailed league in just four days time.

The league structure was presented as follows:

Trans-Oceanic Football Alliance

Coastal League

Atlantic Division
Boston Shamrocks
New York Titans
Philadelphia Liberty
Pittsburgh Gladiators

Southern Division
Atlanta Grays
Baltimore Inquisitors
Charlotte Schooners
Washington Reps

Desert Division
Denver Mountaineers
Los Angeles Stars
Phoenix Ghostriders
San Diego Missionaries

Pacific Division
Hawaii Volcanoes
Portland Foresters
San Francisco Prisoners
Seattle Cascades


Continental League

Central Division
Canton Blues
Cincinnati Wolves
Cleveland Freighters
Detroit Otters

Gulf Division
Bourbon Street Rebels
Memphis Pharaohs
Miami Viceroys
Tampa Glades

Northern Division
Chicago Crusaders
Indiana Wheatgrowers
Milwaukee Monarchs
Minneapolis Ice Giants

Plains Division
Dallas Stallions
Houston Aztecs
Kansas City Wildcats
Saint Louis Knights



In other news, a sports reporter for the Chicago Tribune was found severely beaten in an alley next to the Chicago headquarters of the First Bank of America.

[Fourth_and_42]

Week One, 1966: Prelude

Cincinnati, Ohio

Hi there, my name is H. David Kensington, and this is my story.

I stood in the rain outside a sleazy diner. It was quite an effort for a diner to attain the descriptive sleazy, naturally it was my favorite. It was also, coincidentally the only thing I could afford. Two weeks ago I was the coach and athletic director of the national champion Ohio State Buckeyes. Now people crossed the street to spit on me for shaming their beloved team. I didn’t even have to be on fire, not that they would have minded if I was.

The sad thing was, they would have done the same thing in my position. After a Rose Bowl victory over UCLA and a national title from the press voters, who would have denied me a little rest and relaxation? The fact the resting was in my office and the relaxation involved two enthusiastic members of the cheerleading squad didn’t have to be common knowledge.

That is until my souvenir pictures of the events somehow found their way onto the front page of the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Now I stood in the rain outside a sleazy diner, clutching a wet paper trumpeting the new pro football league. I had one last hope for a comeback. A friend of a friend who had a sister who’s husbands receptionists cousin knew somebody who worked for a guy with connections to the head office of the TOFA. One last shred of a hope, if only the phone call would come before my phone service was shut off that evening.

I walked through the rain hoping beyond hope that my services would be needed by one of the 32 franchises that had formed out of nowhere in the last four days. Well 29 anyway, there was really no hope to be hired by any of the Ohio franchises. I even dared to dream as I approached the rat infested decrepit structure that housed the one room rubbish pile that I would soon be evicted from, dared to envision sitting at the desk of the New York Titans, the jewel of the new league. To be the toast of the town, in a place where the sort of activities that got me publicly disgraced in Ohio were accepted and unusually commonplace.

That was the dream. New York City, or Los Angeles. Cities so perverse that I could once again be considered a pillar of polite society. I’ve heard they have this new thing called free love going on in San Francisco, that might be fun, add them to the list. Big cities, big dreams!

I stepped through the door and started up the stairs to my three and a half walls of privacy that were my refuge from my day job of getting spit upon by the good people of Ohio. I paused and my heart stopped dead, for a full three seconds it was two shocked to beat, too hopeful to risk breaking the beautiful sound echoing down the crumbling plaster walls of my beautifully decrepit refuge.

The phone was ringing. New York here I come!

[Fourth_and_42]

1966 Offseason: Week One

#&@%ing Milwaukee.

It staggers me how unbelievably boring the Wisconsin landscape is in the winter. And did I mention the cold? The cold here isn’t like the cold in other parts of the country. The wind howls straight down from the Arctic, ripping through Canada like an afterthought on its single minded way to strip any last lingering vestige of heat from this godforsaken plain of ice.

And this is my home. The best I could get.

New York wouldn’t take me. Los Angeles called me a character risk. San Francisco didn’t like my haircut. But someone in this blighted casket of ice thawed out just long enough to give me a call.

I was standing in the Mitchell Park Domes, an arboretum of sorts with four inches of insulating glass between me and the cutting arctic winds outside. I was still freezing. I was here to meet my new boss, the only man in the country who was bold enough to take a risk and hire the man who shamed the national champs.

A soft liquid voice greeted me from behind. “A peaceful spot of green in the middle of the winter snows embrace, and ideal spot for our first meeting. I come here often to meditate on the oneness of nature little miracle.”

I turned and was greeted by a tall man in a black silk jacket and violet button down shirt. He wore thick black glasses that reminded me of the losers in the Engineering department, and a short style-less haircut that framed his narrow face. He bore with him the scent of hyacinth and a vague hint of peppermint.

“Forgive me for not shaking hands mister Kensington, but I am undergoing an intricate blending of eastern philosophy and local Indian spirit cleansing and I cannot risk you tainting my aura. My name is currently Adrian Tiller. I am soon to become Thewonakaunee, or he who walks in the whispers of the ancestors, but we will speak of that at a more appropriate time.”

My spinning mind clawed its way to a response I hoped was appropriate to the situation. “I uh,… er,… well I think,… I mean,.. what I meant to say, I think, um,… well then. That’s very nice.”

He set a small box on a ledge nearby, making no show to disguise his aversion to my potential effect on his Ki aura in the process. “A small gift for you. For now I will only tell you what you need to know. There are those who would undo our efforts here if they only knew the full details. For now, suffice it to say that money is not an object, assemble the best team you can.”

I was pleased to hear this much, doubly so since it was the first bit of the conversation I’d actually understood. “I’m glad to hear,…”

“Please do not speak again. My Ki cannot bear it. Go know and lead the monarchs to glory in my name. My assistant will provide you with some preliminary drawings I have made of the logo and uniforms. They are the most important element of the plan at this time. Do what you will with the rest.”

I nodded as a small Asian man I had previously failed to notice handed me a bundle of parchment with colored pencil sketches and charcoal rubbings of the team logo and uniforms. I glanced at them as I accepted the package.

“Master Chen will show you to the exit. I must cleanse now and then do the dance of ascendance. We will not meet again this year, mister Kensington. Look for me when the ice winds once again visit this place.”

I took several steps my mind still spinning around everything I’d just experienced trying to wrench some order out of the situation. “I uh, erm, sorry if I’m tainting erm, anything. I thought Monarchs, was like in the king sort of sense, I thought we might do a crown or something for the helmet….”

“No, mister Kensington, the Monarch is a butterfly. It is your job to show it to the world. It is the most important thing mister Kensington. You must deliver the butterfly to the masses.”

I stumbled through the doors and Master Chen closed them behind me. I looked down at the box, it was a small ornate display case, and it held a monarch butterfly, pinned to black velvet.

I walked to my car and drove back to the team facility where I composed my letter of resignation. Halfway through the letter, my secretary arrived with my first paycheck.

Hi, my name is H. David Kensington, and I am the Head Coach and General Manager of the Milwaukee Monarchs.

[Fourth_and_42]

Offseason 1966: Week 2-20

Work, work, work. I had been handed half a ream of uniform and logo sketches featuring very detailed reproductions of a freaking butterfly. Everything else I had to do myself.

I got lucky with the staff. Nabbed some of the best assistants and gameplanners in the league. I then poured what money remained into the scouting department, concentrating on OL, DL and RB. The teams areas of weakness.

Offensive Coordinator: Ethan McCrary VG/VG Scouting: VG/VG/A/G 675k West Coast
Defensive Coordinator: Chris Boso VG/VG Scouting: A/G/G 625k 4-3
Special Teams: Brad Prince VG/VG Scouting A 350k

After the dispersal draft I spent a day elated by the teams cap status. We were 23 million under the cap with 41 players signed. I was then pointed to our free agent pool.

By the next afternoon we were 9 million under the cap. Though we did secure a top flight flanker and an decent center.

The strengths of the team: QB, where Jamal Scott may very well be the best in the league, certainly in the top five. FS: Steve King, a turnover specialist and tackling machine who plays the zone like a natural. WR: Billy Bryson, a possession receiver with the ability to pull in 100 a year each year.

The weaknesses: RB: Running Back by committee is all the rage in this new league, but our committee sucks from top to bottom. OL: We have a solid center, one journeyman guard and the rest are backups in search of someone to back up. We also need a DE and a DT. We don’t have the depth at LB to play the 3-4, though we have 3 respectable starters there.

I target a DE in free agency along with an OT. DE Jim Jackson signs for 4 years at 17.21 million. OT Seth Forte signs for 5 years at 15.48 million and just like that the last of my cap space is gone. The rest of the holes will need to be fixed in free agency.

1966 Draft

1 30 OT Tom Rolle 3.5/4.0
2 62 DE Maugaula Williams 2.0/4.0
3 94 DT Hoyle Smith 2.0/3.0
4 126 K Hugh Groman 4.5/5.0
5 158 WR Chester Hinton 2.5/2.5
6 190 RB Rich Perryman 2.5/3.0
7 222 RB Charlie Parker 1.0/1.5

Of this group only Parker fails to make the team. It also allows me to trade my old Kicker to Philadelphia for OT Chris Moulds (3.0).

It leaves me with enough cap room to add a few role players for depth. The team was set and for better or for worse we were ready for the season.

1966 Team Roster:

#19 Jamal Scott (S) QB 6-1 225 7 Illinois Drafted '59 (1-2) $5,817,213 5.0/5.0
#27 Tony Doughty (S) RB 6-1 217 3 Boise State Drafted '63 (6-202) $1,000,000 3.0/3.5
#45 R.C. Mitchell (S) FB 6-1 231 2 Midwestern State (TX) Drafted '64 (4-105) $532,000 2.0/3.0
#86 Billy Bryson (S) WR 6-1 187 10 Washington State Drafted '56 (1-13) $4,420,333 4.5/-
#87 Terry Hillary (S) WR 6-3 198 5 Tennessee Drafted '61 (1-17) $2,548,000 4.0/4.0
#80 Warren Weatherington (S) TE 6-5 262 1 Texas-El Paso Drafted '65 (1-8) $1,074,000 3.0/4.0
#74 Seth Forte (S) OT 6-0 283 8 Miami Drafted '58 (4-102) $2,699,132 3.5/-
#71 Tom Rolle (S) OT 6-3 328 0 Washington Drafted '66 (1-30) $859,000 3.5/4.0
#76 Derrick Farrior (S) OG 6-1 300 7 Colorado State Drafted '59 (1-9) $4,131,309 3.5/-
#70 Rabih Hamdan (S) OG 6-2 323 1 Cincinnati Drafted '65 (6-180) $327,000 2.5/3.0
#61 Jerramy Crump (S) C 6-7 303 7 Texas Drafted '59 (4-99) $2,509,000 3.0/3.5
#99 Jim Jackson (S) DE 6-8 267 11 Emporia State Drafted '55 (1-1) $3,062,075 3.5/-
#96 Maugaula Williams (S) DE 6-6 275 0 Auburn Drafted '66 (2-62) $495,000 2.0/4.0
#92 Shane Wilkins DT 6-8 286 6 Ohio State Drafted '60 (4-104) $1,593,000 3.0/3.5
#91 Art Bull (S) DT 6-4 310 1 Arizona State Drafted '65 (5-142) $339,000 1.5/3.0
#43 Will White (S) ILB 6-2 236 1 Syracuse Drafted '65 (3-72) $503,000 3.0/3.0
#55 Drew Johnson (S) OLB 6-1 246 8 Oklahoma State Drafted '58 (2-44) $2,801,855 3.5/-
#41 Howard Joiner (S) OLB 6-1 258 8 Ohio State Drafted '58 (6-181) $3,557,000 3.0/-
#24 Josh McGee (S) CB 5-11 186 5 Liberty Drafted '61 (3-81) $1,365,000 3.5/3.5
#38 Tommy Renn (S) CB 6-1 179 4 Troy State Drafted '62 (5-165) $1,819,000 3.0/3.0
#25 Steve King (S) FS 6-1 213 10 Florida State Drafted '56 (1-30) $4,183,109 5.0/-
#28 Val Curry (S) SS 6-1 187 3 Florida Drafted '63 (3-94) $1,913,500 3.0/3.0
#13 Hugh Groman (S) K 5-11 171 0 Miami Drafted '66 (4-126) $303,300 4.5/5.0
#3 Zak Overstreet (S) P 6-4 198 1 Washington Not Drafted ('65) $834,667 3.5/3.5

[Fourth_and_42]

The 1966 Regular Season:

Week One

We open the season on a warm Monday night in Canton Ohio. Only the glass window of the visitors box saves me from the abuse, hostility and thrown objects from the angry citizens of Ohio. The game is almost as wild as the spectators with five lead changes until we pull ahead in the third quarter and hold on to win in the fourth.

Milwaukee 31, Canton 29. 1-0


Week Two

The home crowds welcome their team for the first time as we host division rival Minneapolis. The Ice Giants slink into town on autopilot and perform that way for the duration of the game. Terry Hillary corrals his 3rd and 4th TDs of the season in the first quarter on the way to Milwaukee’s dominating victory.

Milwaukee 24, Minneapolis 6. 2-0


Week Three

The Miami Viceroys come into town for a week three contest between undefeated teams. Hillary’s 5th TD of the year gives us a first quarter 10-7 lead. And then our dreams of a perfect first season shatter like ice. We struggle valiantly to catch up but to no avail we don’t come closer than four the rest of the way.

Miami 35, Milwaukee 24. 2-1


Week Four

Chicago, the archnemisis of all things Wisconsin. For some reason the locals have an unnatural hatred for their neighbors to the south. I receive more than one letter from fans insisting that I not let us lose this game, a few of them are delivered through my office window wrapped around rocks. My nervousness lasts the nineteen seconds it takes Williams to run back the opening kickoff for a TD.

Milwaukee 37, Chicago 17. 3-1


Week Five

Tampa, Florida: the sun, the warm gulf waters. This is the kind of place for a GM to live. Not the kind of place where you can freeze your face off between the front door and your car. Three 1st quarter TD passes by Scott give us an early 21-10 lead and our SS Val Curry is chosen as the player of the game after finishing with 11 tackles. The problem with a safety getting 11 tackles in a game? It means your opponents RB’s are getting past your linebackers way too much. Tampa rushes for 194 yards and wins the game.

Tampa 31, Milwaukee 21. 3-2


Week Six

We have a bye. I stay in Tampa and get a tan. Let the coordinators earn their money for a change.


Week Seven

We travel to Indianapolis and the home of the 1-4 Wheatgrowers. The tan and yellow of the mighty farmers hasn’t impressed the uniform critics of the new league. 5 TD passes by the Indiana QB, three of them for more than 60 yards makes me stop giggling at the silly outfits and start swearing at my coordinators for the teams lack of readiness.

Indiana 50, Milwaukee 31. 3-3


Week Eight

Memphis Tennessee. I realize as we get off the plane that there might just be a worse place to coach then Milwaukee. If anyone is ever casting extras for Deliverance II they need look no farther than the Stands at a Pharaohs home game. 471 net yards of offense later the Pharaohs have me crying into my complimentary drink(s) on the charter flight back.

Memphis 36, Milwaukee 19. 3-4


Week Nine

Our fourth straight road game takes us to Minneapolis for our second meeting with the Ice Giants. Minneapolis is even colder than Milwaukee, but unlike ourselves they have the good sense to play in a dome. A closely fought match between the two teams sees them march out to a 9-0 lead, surrender 21 straight and then storm back in the fourth quarter.

Milwaukee 28, Minneapolis 26. 4-4


The Wheatgrowers destroy the Chicago Crusaders and despite our pathetic mediocrity we are alone in first place at the midseason mark. Thank god for the weak sisters he has graced us with.

Milwaukee Monarchs 4-4
Indiana Wheatgrowers 3-5
Minneapolis Ice Giants 3-5
Chicago Crusaders 3-5

[Fourth_and_42]

The 1966 Regular Season: (Part Two)


Week Ten

Our fifth straight road game, we haven’t played at home in six weeks counting the bye. This time the flight barely has time to reach altitude before landing in Chicago for our second meeting with the hated Crusaders. A few more rocks sit in my office as a subtle reminder of what not to do here. A 5 yd run by Chicago’s RB Lytle ties the score at 7. It’s the last good news Chicago gets all afternoon as we out gain them 490 -212 in total yards.

Milwaukee 31, Chicago 10. 5-4


Week Eleven

Home sweet home. I get lost on the way to the stadium, haven’t been here in a while. The Wheatgrowers bring their equally silly road uniforms to town to entertain us. A victory would leave us two games ahead of the division and with a 5-1 divisional record we would have the tiebreaker wrapped up against all three of our competitors. Needless to say, things are never really that easy. Indiana beats us for the second time, a fourth quarter field goal and it’s the Wheatgrowers who will hold all the tiebreakers this year.

Indiana 23, Milwaukee 21. 5-5


Week Twelve

Washington, DC. The nations capitol welcomes the team with the butterfly on their helmets. We are technically a game behind Indiana by virtue of the tiebreakers and need to keep winning to have a chance. There will be no wild card from this pathetic division. Washington drives 80 yards in 8 plays to open the scoring with a 21 yard Lenny Crockett TD pass. They then sit and watch as our field goal kicker hits six FG’s, the longest only 31 yards to pace us to victory. Indiana is beaten on Monday night and we take back the division lead.

Milwaukee 25, Washington 7. 6-5


Week Thirteen

Somewhere during our 6 weeks of road games the defense seems to have gelled into this almost undefeatable engine of opponent squashing. This time the Saint Louis Wildcats come into town full of hopes and dreams of turning around their season. They crawl out of Milwaukee with a grand total of 180 yards of offense. Since they manage scoring drives of 86, 39 and 77 yards respectively, that means the rest of the day nets them a grand total of -22 yards.

Milwaukee 38, Saint Louis 17. 7-5


Week Fourteen

The 8-4 Charlotte Schooners come to town to meet the 7-5 Milwaukee Monarchs. The final score is deceptively close. The box score makes it look less even sided. The Schooners manage 11 first downs to Milwaukee’s 22. We outgain Charlotte 436-236. A punt return and an interception return, both for TD’s keep Charlotte in the game. Jamal Scott goes 30-51 for 401 yards and 3 TDs as Milwaukee edges Charlotte.

Milwaukee 32, Charlotte 28. 8-5


Week Fifteen

The 7-6 Atlanta Grays come to town and put up much more of a fight than Charlotte managed. A three game winning streak has me feeling much better about our chances and we have opened up a two game lead over Indiana with three games left. Atlanta matches us in just about every facet of the game except one. While we go 9 of 15 on third down, the Grays can manage only 2 of 13. Our lead over Indiana is now 2 games with two to go.

Milwaukee 20, Atlanta 10. 9-5


Week Sixteen

A victory in Baltimore, Maryland would wrap up the first ever Northern division title for Milwaukee. Baltimore, however, is 8-6 and fighting for their own playoff life. A flurry of field goals gives Baltimore a 6-3 lead after one quarter. A 92 yard interception return makes the score 13-3. The defense then comes to the rescue, Steve King stuffs the RB for a safety with 44 second left in the quarter. 3 plays later the halftime score is 13-12. A 32 yard TD pass from Baltimore’s backup QB makes the score 20-12 midway through the third. Milwaukee answers 6 plays later with a 31 yard strike from Scott to Hillary to make it 20-19. A Baltimore FG with 9:46 left makes it 23-19. Then Milwaukee turns the offense on, 250 yards in three drives to finish the game and wrap up the division title.

Milwaukee 40, Baltimore 23. 10-5


Week Seventeen

No resting the starters for Milwaukee. Our victory over Saint Louis has us holding the tiebreaker for the second seed in the playoffs and the all important bye. The 6-9 Bourbon Street Rebels, up from New Orleans to play in Wisconsin in December, are the only thing between us and the second seed. Bourbon Street comes to play, and leads 10-7 at the half, and ties it up 17-17 in the middle of the third. But alas the southerners are out of their league and Milwaukee pulls away to win and wrap up a home game in January.

Milwaukee 37, Bourbon Street 17 11-5


Six straight wins transform the most pathetic division leader at seasons midpoint into a respectable 2nd seeded playoff team.

Milwaukee Monarchs 11-5
Indiana Wheatgrowers 7-9
Chicago Crusaders 6-10
Minneapolis Ice Giants 6-10

[Fourth_and_42]

The 1966 TOFA Playoffs

Playoffs Week One

We have a bye, having snuck into the second spot by a game over Kansas City. We keep up a standard practice schedule despite the week off. I am suddenly the toast of the town and am seen at the cities finest restaurants. This being Milwaukee, that usually means Herb’s Bar and Grill on 57th and Layton.

Definitely a welcome change to the being spat upon thing they like to do to me in Ohio.

Wild card playoff results:

Charlotte Schooners (10-6) 41, Baltimore Inquisitors (9-7) 20 (at Charlotte)

Tied at 13 with 8 minutes left in the third quarter, Charlotte scored 4 times on 4 straight drives to turn it into a rout.


Denver Mountaineers (10-6) 14, Portland Foresters (9-7) 13 (at Portland)

Denver’s D holds Portland to just 9 first downs and overcomes four interceptions by Denver’s QB, N. Lindell. The Mountaineers drive 77 yards in 12 plays to score the game winner with 3:07 left in the game.


Tampa Glades (11-5) 27, Canton Blues (10-6) 13 (at Canton)

The Glades run at will racking up 279 yards and jumping out to a 20-3 lead before coasting to victory if front of the Blue’s home fans.


Kansas City Wildcats (10-6) 33, Miami Viceroys (12-4) 28 (at Kansas City)

The Wildcats looked to have the toughest test for a first round division winner. Miami moves the ball at will averaging 8.7 yards a play, but its Defense cannot get Kansas City off the field. KC holds the ball for 43 minutes and wins with a TD in overtime.


Divisional Round Playoff Results

The Kansas City Wildcats come to town. Thanks to their overtime triumph we don’t have to face the Miami squad that beat us in week three. We dominate the game statistically, leading in first downs (27-11), total yards (445-164), and time of possession (37:18). A 76 yard interception return in the third quarter keeps us from rolling over them in score as well. We hang on to win despite ourselves.

Milwaukee 20, Kansas City 10


Memphis Pharaohs (12-4) 22, Tampa Glades (12-5) 16 (at Memphis)

Memphis edged Tampa in the gulf division by a game, with 12-4 Miami in between. A hard fought even game between division rivals sees Memphis score a TD and safety in the final quarter to nip the Glades.


Charlotte Schooners (11-6) 38, Boston Shamrocks (10-6) 18 (at Boston)

Down 15-14 with 8 minutes left in the third quarter, Charlotte scored four times on four straight drives to turn it into a rout. If it were not for the different uniform colors one would almost think this was a repeat.


San Diego Missionaries (11-5) 13, Denver Mountaineers (11-6) 10 (at San Diego)

Denver took an early ten point lead only to see San Diego erase it with TDs on two straight drives in the second quarter. That finished the scoring as San Diego hung on by its teeth to a narrow victory.


Conference Championship Week

We travel to Memphis for the second time this season. The first time we lost 36-19 in a game we never really contended in. We gameplan ‘em like mad. In the end nothing works. They beat us in 1st downs (29-15), total yards (521-361), and time of possession (35:13). However we have a small edge at QB: Jamal Scott goes 18-27 for 295 yards and 4 TDs while the Memphis QB completes four of his passes to our defensive backs. A big upset and we are going to the title game.

Milwaukee 48, Memphis 35


San Diego Missionaries (12-5) 17, Charlotte Schooners (12-6) 14 (at San Diego)

Charlotte’s third quarter scoring splurges run dry in southern California. San Diego holds an edge in total yards 403-402 and two 4th quarter touchdowns for Charlotte fall just short of beating the Missionaries.


The TOFA Championship

We travel to Denver Colorado for the league title game. There are those that argue that the title game shouldn’t be played in glacial mountain towns like Denver, but rather in balmy southern lands like Miami. We like the decision and look forward to meeting San Diego in the freezing cold of the mile-high city.

We spend the week doing interviews for the media. This single champion idea seems to have taken hold of the nations fancy. We also run our standard practices at Colorado College. On Thursday we get a tour of the Mountain Dome.

Freaking Dome, there goes our advantage.

Game day dawns and the match is pretty even statistically. Yards, time of possession, first downs all very close. There’s just one small statistical anomaly that stands in the way of us winning the championship. San Diego scores 21 points in the first quarter and we are never close the rest of the game.

San Diego 31, Milwaukee 16.

We have a quiet charter flight home, I polish off about 20 of those little vodka bottles and have to be carried off the plane.

[Fourth_and_42]

Season Two: Prelude

I woke up in Sri Lanka, which was rather surprising, as I had had no travel plans. Of course I didn’t know it was Sri Lanka at the time, but I sure as heck knew it wasn’t Wisconsin in January. I was in a hammock strung inside a dirt floored hit. It was all remarkably similar to that Gilligan’s Island show. I swayed there for a while letting it all seep in, searching my memory for anything to explain my presence in this strange place. I began to make out the sounds of voices and movement. I got out of the hammock and walked out into the tropical sun.

I was blind for perhaps five minutes, my irises had not adjusted well to the toxic vodka level of my bloodstream. I stumbled through the mess of green in the general direction of the noises. I stepped out of the jungle into a clearing, perhaps 70 workers labored over a grid set out with tied string. Neat three meter boxes had been delineated over the ground of the clearing and were in various states of unearthing. I looked around blinking my slowly acclimating eyes and spotted two familiar figures.

The first was a small man of East Asian decent dressed in the robe of a monk. The second was a slightly taller man dressed in a black leisure suit wearing thick horn-rimmed glasses. He was Adrian Tiller, the owner of the Milwaukee Monarchs.

He looked over, his liquid smooth voice rising over the workers, “Good morning, mister Kensington, it is nice to see you up and about.”

I stumbled over to where they stood at the edge of the dig. “Where am I? How did I get here?”

Tiller waved a hand dismissing my questions entirely. “What you mean to ask, mister Kensington, is ‘Why has my life brought me to this place and time?’”

I blinked again and looked around then blinked once more. “Okay lets start with that and then get on to the other questions,…”

“I’m afraid you can only achieve that answer by looking within yourself mister Kensington.”

I gave up on the where and how questions, I didn’t want to look within myself any more than was absolutely necessary. “Okay, so what are we digging for?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t found it yet.”

“Okay, so what would you like to find here?”

Adrian Tiller shook his head and smiled at me as if I were a small child. “This is an experiment of mine in Holistic Archeology. I have simply provided the place and time, it is up to the artifacts to present themselves as they would.”

“Okay, yeah, good. So, did you bring me here to fire me?”

“Quite the contrary, that last game was televised all over the western world. You did your job admirably. In fact by ensuring the game was so very uncompetitive you left the audience with nothing to do but admire the butterfly. Yes, quite admirable.”

“Great, so why kidnap me to the other side of the continent?”

“The other side of the world, mister Kensington. I came to let you know what your instructions would be for the next season.”

I perked up at that, finally something useful might be spoken aloud. “Oh, good. And that would be?”

“No changes, same deal as last year. Full speed ahead, mister Kensington.” He patted me on the shoulder and turned back towards the workers.

“You had me flown back and forth across the globe to tell me ‘no changes’?”

“Oh, no, mister Kensington. I won’t be able to spare the plane again. You will have to find your way over that mountain range. There is a man named Kalaktaka, who hires a fixed wing aircraft out of Colombo, you can get a flight to Bombay from there. Thank you for coming, as before you will not hear from me again this year.”

He turned and walked with the small Asian man towards the far end of the encampment where a coconut had been unearthed by a proud looking native worker.

I stood around and watched the workers for a few more minutes and then turned and trudged towards the mountains.

[Fourth_and_42]

Offseason 1967: Week 2-20

It took me a week to get back to Wisconsin, by then I had lost my chance to become the GM of any of the four teams that had tendered me offers. I was stuck at least one more year in the glacial permasuck that was Wisconsin in February.

Ethan McCrary left my team to become the head coach of the Atlanta Grays, I promoted the Offensive Line Coach to coordinator. I poured our scouting money into OL and the defense.

Offensive Coordinator: Doug Johnson VG/VG Scouting: G/VG/G/VG 650k Run N Gun
Defensive Coordinator: Chris Boso VG/VG Scouting: A/G/G 625k 4-3
Special Teams: Brad Prince VG/VG Scouting A 350k

Our cap status going into year two was not good, and due to declining aging players we had some holes to fill. The Center position had filed for free agency en masse. OG was very weak, and LB was trouble at two of three positions. Additionally we had to fill a hole at DL that we never managed to deal with last year. We had 6.3 mil in cap room and less than 1mil after we set aside money for the draft. We also had our starting RB on the free agency list. There had also been four retirements, but none of them had been starters.

We cut a backup CB and restructured a few contracts. It got us to 13 mil, 11 after resigning our starting RB. We targeted and signed C Isaac Talamini for 17.4 mil over 7 years giving us an upgrade at that position over the previous year. Week one of free agency was over and we were done. We spent the next five weeks preparing for the draft and getting real good at darts down at Herb’s Bar and Grill.


By the next afternoon we were 9 million under the cap. Though we did secure a top flight flanker and a decent center.

The strengths of the team: QB, where Jamal Scott may very well be the best in the league, certainly in the top five. FS: Steve King, a turnover specialist and tackling machine who plays the zone like a natural. WR: Billy Bryson, a possession receiver with the ability to pull in 100 a year each year.

The weaknesses: RB: Running Back by committee is all the rage in this new league, but our committee sucks from top to bottom. OL: We have a solid center, one journeyman guard and the rest are backups in search of someone to back up. We also need a DE and a DT. We don’t have the depth at LB to play the 3-4, though we have 3 respectable starters there.

I target a DE in free agency along with an OT. DE Jim Jackson signs for 4 years at 17.21 million. OT Seth Forte signs for 5 years at 15.48 million and just like that the last of my cap space is gone. The rest of the holes will need to be fixed in free agency.

1966 Draft

1 27 OG Marvel Jeffires 3.5/4.0
2 59 OLB Hubert Bethea 2.5/3.5
3 91 DT Ray Williams 2.0/2.5
4 123 OLB Trev Miller 2.5/2.5
5 155 CB Sid Owens 2.5/2.5
6 187 ILB Dez Gonzales 2.0/2.5
7 219 CB Larry Gustafson 2.5/2.5

I trade a backup WR to the Seattle Cascades for an OLB named Josh Campbell who would backup in Seattle but is good enough to start in Milwaukee. The entire draft makes the team, though only Jeffires is good enough to start. I also sign six undrafted free agents as depth. I have about 5.5 mil in cap space left after all that and look for bargains the rest of the way in free agency, nothing worth the money pops up and we go into camp with what we have.


1967 Team Roster:

#19 Jamal Scott (S) QB 6-1 225 8 Illinois Drafted '59 (1-2) $6,409,395 5.0/5.0
#27 Tony Doughty (S) RB 6-1 217 4 Boise State Drafted '63 (6-202) $1,928,167 3.5/3.5
#45 R.C. Mitchell (S) FB 6-1 231 3 Midwestern State (TX) Drafted '64 (4-105) $646,960 3.0/3.5
#86 Billy Bryson (S) WR 6-1 187 11 Washington State Drafted '56 (1-13) $4,410,333 4.0/-
#87 Terry Hillary (S) WR 6-3 198 6 Tennessee Drafted '61 (1-17) $3,150,000 4.0/4.0
#80 Warren Weatherington (S) TE 6-5 262 2 Texas-El Paso Drafted '65 (1-8) $1,254,000 3.5/4.5
#74 Seth Forte (S) OT 6-0 283 9 Miami Drafted '58 (4-102) $1,986,950 3.0/-
#71 Tom Rolle (S) OT 6-3 328 1 Washington Drafted '66 (1-30) $910,000 3.0/3.5
#76 Derrick Farrior (S) OG 6-1 300 8 Colorado State Drafted '59 (1-9) $4,516,400 3.0/-
#72 Marvel Jeffires (S) OG 6-5 314 0 Auburn Drafted '67 (1-27) $964,000 3.5/4.0
#51 Isaac Talamini (S) C 6-7 315 6 Notre Dame Drafted '61 (7-239) $1,693,057 3.0/3.0
#99 Jim Jackson (S) DE 6-8 267 12 Emporia State Drafted '55 (1-1) $3,132,120 2.5/-
#96 Maugaula Williams (S) DE 6-6 275 1 Auburn Drafted '66 (2-62) $552,000 2.5/3.5
#92 Shane Wilkins (S) DT 6-8 286 7 Ohio State Drafted '60 (4-104) $2,211,000 3.5/-
#98 Hoyle Smith (S) DT 6-5 301 1 Tennessee Drafted '66 (3-94) $461,000 2.5/3.5
#43 Will White (S) ILB 6-2 236 2 Syracuse Drafted '65 (3-72) $578,000 3.0/3.0
#41 Howard Joiner (S) OLB 6-1 258 9 Ohio State Drafted '58 (6-181) $2,314,851 2.5/-
#48 Josh Campbell (S) OLB 6-0 242 7 Washington State Drafted '60 (4-126) $1,979,200 2.5/-
#38 Tommy Renn (S) CB 6-1 179 5 Troy State Drafted '62 (5-165) $1,939,000 3.5/3.5
#24 Josh McGee (S) CB 5-11 186 6 Liberty Drafted '61 (3-81) $1,901,000 3.5/3.5
#42 Martin Martin (S) FS 5-11 177 3 Florida Drafted '64 (7-222) $564,000 2.5/3.5
#28 Val Curry (S) SS 6-1 187 4 Florida Drafted '63 (3-94) $1,938,800 3.5/3.5
#13 Hugh Groman (S) K 5-11 171 1 Miami Drafted '66 (4-126) $378,300 5.0/5.0
#3 Zak Overstreet (S) P 6-4 198 2 Washington Not Drafted ('65) $834,667 3.0/3.0

[Fourth_and_42]

The 1967 Regular Season:

Week One

We open our second year in Tampa Florida, looking to avenge last years loss and begin our defense of our Continental Conference title. Unfortunately nothing seems to have changed, the Gulf division is way too tough for us and two first quarter TDs have us scrambling to catch up the rest of the game. We never do.

Tampa 23, Milwaukee 14. 0-1


Week Two

The Washington Reps host us for the seasons second week. We start out like the week before down 17-3 at the end of the first quarter. This time, we catch up tying the score at 17 at the half. We take the lead in the third, squander it, take it back in the fourth and fall to a Jermaine Wimberly 16 yard TD pass with 1:05 left on the clock.

Washington 30, Milwaukee 29 0-2


Week Three

Just like that we’ve become a pathetic winless team. The Cincinnati Wolves come to town with a handful of their rabid fans. Our offense turns on like we flipped a switch, I jot down a note to remind me next year to spend some of the scouting budget on finding that switch. We dominate doubling Cincy in all the major statistical category.

Milwaukee 38, Cincinnati 14. 1-2


Week Four

Chicago, the archnemisis of all things Wisconsin. I had brick proof glass installed on my office window and this weeks note laden bricks threatening dire repercussions upon my posterior should we lose, fall harmlessly to the sidewalk outside. Statistically we play pretty evenly; time of possession is within 6 seconds. We do manage to rattle off 27 straight points to open the game. That gives us our first divisional win of the season and gets us back to .500.

Milwaukee 27, Chicago 13. 2-2


Week Five

Canton, Ohio. The den of the enemy. Fortunately this season the enemy is 0-4 and gives every impression of being the team to beat for the 1st overall choice next year. Their defense hasn’t gotten this memo, it’s bruising and spirited. We barely outgain the Blues with 294 total yards. We do outscore the living whatnot out of them.

Milwaukee 35, Canton 13. 3-2


Week Six

The Indiana Wheatgrowers come to Milwaukee for our second divisional matchup of the season. We go into this game gameplanning hard, despite the fact that they are a 2-3 team, we have never beaten them. A 72 yard drive with 2:40 left gives us our only TD of the game, just enough to beat the Wheatgrowers for the very first time. Chicago meanwhile upsets Minnesota to give us a share of the divisional lead for the first time all year.

Milwaukee 13, Indiana 7. 4-2


Week Seven

We have our bye week. I treat the team to a vacation in Maui, we all lie on the beach and get sunburns. Our division rivals work hard to go into the second half of the season with a renewed fire. Suckers.


Week Eight

The Cleveland Freighters come to Milwaukee, the last of the three Ohio teams. We play like we have most of the season, statistically pretty even, but for some reason they get their statistics in the middle of the field and we get ours on our way into the end zone. We take a 30-7 lead in the first half and then hold on to the game in the second.

Milwaukee 37, Cleveland 20. 5-2


Week Nine

Minneapolis started the season 4-1, they come to town riding the wave of a 2 game losing streak. The Ice Giants open the scoring with a 45 yard FG to lead 3-0. We pick this week to stop letting teams play us evenly. Jamal Scott goes 26-34 for 300 yards and 5 TDs. They manage 160 yards total offense after the opening drive.

Milwaukee 44, Minneapolis 3. 6-2


Like last season we had to crawl and claw our way into first place. Unlike last year this process didn’t take 12 weeks. At the halfway mark we are tied with Memphis for the 2nd playoff seeding and lead the division by two full games.

Milwaukee Monarchs 6-2
Minneapolis Ice Giants 4-4
Indiana Wheatgrowers 3-5
Chicago Crusaders 3-5

[Fourth_and_42]

The 1967 Regular Season: (Part Two)


Week Ten

The second half of the season begins with a trip to northern Illinois and a contest against our closest rival. The brick-proof windows have really helped me concentrate this year, but I still don’t want to find out what the fans will throw at me if I lose to Chicago. We spend practice working on offensive balance and formulating trick plays. Our defense spends the game beating up on Chicago’s pathetic offense.

Milwaukee 19, Chicago 0. 7-2


Week Eleven

I notice that the schedule is eerily familiar to last season; week ten against Chicago and week eleven against Indiana. Lazy league schedulers. Anyway we travel to Indiana with a chance to even our all time series against the golden and pale-tan of the Wheatgrowers. Our defense has more trouble than they’ve had since week two, like two tigers locked in mortal combat. Their defense fights our offense like a tiger locked in mortal combat with a meteor.

Milwaukee 37, Indiana 21. 8-2


Week Twelve

The 4-6 Charlotte Schooners come to town for a Monday night matchup. They are a team we statistically dominated last year but only barely managed to beat. Our eight consecutive victories lead me to believe that this year it will not be as close. We lead 7-3 after one quarter before Charlotte puts up 20 straight points. Jamal Scott leads a fourth quarter comeback that falls just short. WR Billy Bryson has 9 receptions for 216 yards and three TDs to set the record for receiving yards in a single game.

Charlotte 23, Milwaukee 21. 8-3


Week Thirteen

The Kansas City Wildcats glide into Milwaukee with a 5-6 record. I decide I don’t want a repeat of last week so I lie to the players and tell them Kansas City is undefeated. More of them buy that than I expected, that wonderlic test must be really easy. Seventh round pick Larry Gustofson returns the opening kickoff for a TD, and while KC scratches and claws for points, we grind out three long 10+ play drives and one short one play 71 yard drive to stomp the Wildcats into the ground.

Milwaukee 35, Kansas City 20. 9-3


Week Fourteen

The Ice Giants host us in Minneapolis. They come into the game with a 6-6 record and a 2-3 divisional record. What that means is that sometime during the last week or so we won the North division championship. Yay team. Really should have been paying attention to that. Anyway what this all means is that we can now officially start looking towards playoff position. Memphis is 10-3 after dismantling Phoenix, we need a victory to stand pat. WR Terry Hillary catches 8 passes for 106 yards and a pair of TDs to help us do just that.

Milwaukee 24, Minneapolis 14. 10-3


Week Fifteen

Last year Ethan McCrary was our offensive coordinator, this year he’s the GM and Head Coach of the Atlanta Grays. I take the Monarchs down to Atlanta to teach his 6-6 team a little lessong in freaking loyalty. It’s a small and petty thing to do, but the little SOB let me know his was leaving via e-mail. Memphis wins the late game to keep pace with us this week

Milwaukee 31, Atlanta 21. 11-3


Week Sixteen

The Baltimore Inquisitors travel to Milwaukee at the same time that Memphis is in Houston dueling the Aztecs. Houston rolls over 30-10, the Inquisitors aren’t nearly so accommodating. Five second half lead changes culminate with our journeyman/starting RB Tony Doughty’s 4 yard touchdown run with 4:59 left to win the game.

Milwaukee 28, Baltimore 24. 12-3


Week Seventeen

A look back at our season schedule shows something rather alarming. Amongst our opponents only the Washington Reps with an 9-7 record and this weeks 9-6 opponent Detroit will finish the year with winning records. The Kansas City Wildcats give us a lovely Christmas present by nipping the Pharaohs 30-27 in Memphis. We redouble our efforts, the schedule is going to get hard, starting right now. We head to Detroit and play like a team that deserves its #1 playoff seeding.

Milwaukee 31, Detroit 14 13-3


The division was a cakewalk, but our easy schedule has given us a second gift, first seed in the playoffs over the Gulf division champs, Memphis. We get a week off before we have to play some real teams. As far as our divisional opponents go, only Minneapolis has improved, finishing two games better this season, the others match their 1966 records.

Milwaukee Monarchs 13-3
Minneapolis Ice Giants 8-8
Indiana Wheatgrowers 7-9
Chicago Crusaders 6-10