Im here to clean up these boards

[J.H.D.]

Dear <s>fellow</s> members,

Im an avid <s>text simmer</s> troll, an expert in the field. Ive spent countless hours <s>toying with all the acronyms this field has to offer, FBB, FOF, BBM, FBCB, and OOTP</s> wasting bandwidth and generally making an ass of myself. This board needs someone <s>to take charge as board president, thats right board president</s> to laugh at. I will <s>keep sexual predators like Noop off these wonderful boards</s> be the brunt of more jokes than Hornsmaniac and <s>return us to the glory days</s> post mindless idiocy faster than you can say "asshat." The people have spoken and <s>new leadership</s> a whippin' boy is needed, make me your <s>board president.</s> idiot o' the day.

Plainly,
J.H.D.

[The_herd]

Fuck off.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Sorry, I don't vote for people who don't use apostrophes.

[J.H.D.]

Im not running for board director of writing and grammar I will nominate you for that position if you play your cards right

[Pumpy Tudors]

This is the first time in a while that someone's been pwned by himself.

[Ksyrup]

So, what do you make of the Cole National/Luxottica merger?

[Suicane75]

You suck as a troll.

[Chubby]

I hear Dell is hiring.

[J.H.D.]

reduced competition might raise prices for eyeglass buyers.

[Pumpy Tudors]

reduced competition might raise prices for eyeglass buyers.

You want to shower with me?

[Suicane75]

You want to shower with me?


Are eyeglasses a requirement for that?

[J.H.D.]

No Im a heterosexual male and while I do not promote your lifestyle I believe you should not be persecuted or ostracized for it. Next question....

[Pumpy Tudors]

Are eyeglasses a requirement for that?

Only if you bring Terry Bradshaw along.

[Pumpy Tudors]

No Im a heterosexual male and while I do not promote your lifestyle I believe you should not be persecuted or ostracized for it. Next question....

Ha ha. he doesn't approve of showers. Who wants a board president who doesn't shower? He's pwned himself again.

[Ksyrup]

You want to shower with me?
Can he bring his shoes and his glasses...so he has them?

[J.H.D.]

I do not approve of male on male showers, male on female showers are to be performed by two consenting people of proper age and social title (married). Next question.......

[The_herd]

Next question....

Do you follow the lady's man's advice?

[Pumpy Tudors]

Next question.......

Is your anus burning?

[Suicane75]

No Im a heterosexual male and while I do not promote your lifestyle I believe you should not be persecuted or ostracized for it. Next question....

I did Ostracize for a few weeks, didn't lose any weight though.

[kcchief19]

Fuck off.Why didn't we just leave at that. The_herd pretty much nailed it.

[J.H.D.]

No I do not follow lady mans advice, and the last time I defacated my anus was not burning. Next question.....

[MacroGuru]

Why do golf balls have dimples?

Is there any truth to the old saying "Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, never fear"?

[Noop]

No I do not follow lady mans advice, and the last time I defacated my anus was not burning. Next question.....
Fuck You.

[Suicane75]

Fuck You.

That isn't even a question.

[J.H.D.]

why do golf balls have dimples

The reason why golf balls have dimples is a story of natural selection. Originally, golf balls were smooth; but golfers noticed that older balls that were beat up with nicks, bumps and slices in the cover seemed to fly farther. Golfers, being golfers, naturally gravitate toward anything that gives them an advantage on the golf course, so old, beat-up balls became standard issue.

At some point, an aerodynamicist must have looked at this problem and realized that the nicks and cuts were acting as "turbulators" -- they induce turbulence in the layer of air next to the ball (the "boundary layer"). In some situations, a turbulent boundary layer reduces drag.

If you want to get deeper into the aerodynamics, there are two types of flow around an object: laminar and turbulent. Laminar flow has less drag, but it is also prone to a phenomenon called "separation." Once separation of a laminar boundary layer occurs, drag rises dramatically because of eddies that form in the gap. Turbulent flow has more drag initially but also better adhesion, and therefore is less prone to separation. Therefore, if the shape of an object is such that separation occurs easily, it is better to turbulate the boundary layer (at the slight cost of increased drag) in order to increase adhesion and reduce eddies (which means a significant reduction in drag). Dimples on golf balls turbulate the boundary layer.

The dimples on a golf ball are simply a formal, symmetrical way of creating the same turbulence in the boundary layer that nicks and cuts do.

[The_herd]

Does size really matter?

[J.H.D.]

I cannot answer the question regarding spirits, I do not advocate the consumption of alcoholic beverages

[J.H.D.]

Does size really matter

Many guys question the adequacy of the size of their penis. I get a lot of email about this question. This is a normal and common feeling especially if you are not sexually active or are considering becoming sexually active. The size of a man's penis is more than adequate for its functions which are for sexual pleasure, and maybe reproduction (also for urinating -- but you're probably not as concerned about that!).

One thing that men can be assured of is that the size of your penis has no relation to sexual pleasure or performance. Performance is about the ability to get and maintain an erection or to provide sexual pleasure to your partner and yourself with or without an erection. Performance, then, is not really related to size -- but dependent on muscles, blood and nerve supply to the reproductive organs.

In reality sexual pleasure is related to: a person's state of mind; to respecting their partner's needs; and their own needs. During intercourse, the opening of the vagina is normally not too small or too large for any penis because it is really a "space" that is surrounded by muscular tissue and will adapt to most size penises.

There are also many ways to express sexual feeling besides intercourse. Sexual touching and intercourse can involve many different positions, methods, angles, pressures etc. that change the way it feels and may increase pleasure. Variation and experimentation will vary the sexual experience in ways that a change in penis size can not ! If you want to know more about increasing pleasure or your satisfaction with sexual experiences then experiment or talk to someone you trust.

If you are still concerned about your penis size, then talk to your health care provider. You shouldn't feel embarrassed to ask questions about your own body. Everyone develops at a different rate, but if you are concerned about how quickly you are or aren't growing -- or if you notice anything that is you feel is unusual about your penis or testicles -- again, don't be embarrassed or shy to talk to your health care provider. Remember, that old saying... it's not how long your pencil is -- it's how you write your name. Or, "it's not the wand it's the magician".

[MrBug708]

He's from Ohio, "pwned" himself, and I dont see Shorty around

Someone left the Keystone's out...

[The_herd]

Too many words and this isn't fun anymore. I'm going to bed.

[Pumpy Tudors]

http://www.twyst.org/~pumpy/images/castin-sabre.gif

[Suicane75]

Does size really matter

Many guys question the adequacy of the size of their penis. I get a lot of email about this question. This is a normal and common feeling especially if you are not sexually active or are considering becoming sexually active. The size of a man's penis is more than adequate for its functions which are for sexual pleasure, and maybe reproduction (also for urinating -- but you're probably not as concerned about that!).

One thing that men can be assured of is that the size of your penis has no relation to sexual pleasure or performance. Performance is about the ability to get and maintain an erection or to provide sexual pleasure to your partner and yourself with or without an erection. Performance, then, is not really related to size -- but dependent on muscles, blood and nerve supply to the reproductive organs.

In reality sexual pleasure is related to: a person's state of mind; to respecting their partner's needs; and their own needs. During intercourse, the opening of the vagina is normally not too small or too large for any penis because it is really a "space" that is surrounded by muscular tissue and will adapt to most size penises.

There are also many ways to express sexual feeling besides intercourse. Sexual touching and intercourse can involve many different positions, methods, angles, pressures etc. that change the way it feels and may increase pleasure. Variation and experimentation will vary the sexual experience in ways that a change in penis size can not ! If you want to know more about increasing pleasure or your satisfaction with sexual experiences then experiment or talk to someone you trust.

If you are still concerned about your penis size, then talk to your health care provider. You shouldn't feel embarrassed to ask questions about your own body. Everyone develops at a different rate, but if you are concerned about how quickly you are or aren't growing -- or if you notice anything that is you feel is unusual about your penis or testicles -- again, don't be embarrassed or shy to talk to your health care provider. Remember, that old saying... it's not how long your pencil is -- it's how you write your name. Or, "it's not the wand it's the magician".


Noop has a thick penis.

[J.H.D.]

please do not post clumsy light saber yielding black afro men in my serious post please

[Suicane75]

please do not post clumsy light saber yielding black afro men in my serious post please

He didn't post it in your post, dumb dumb head.

[J.H.D.]

Please do not encourage his ignorance Suicane75. This is a serious post

[WSUCougar]

Im here to clean up these boards
Good! It's about time SkyDog hired a maid. Now whip your Swiffer out and get your scrawny ass to work.

Oh, and I'd wear rubber gloves when you clean the urinals.

And don't vacuum when I'm online. That high-pitched whine drives me ape-shit.

[Poli]

Die.

[J.H.D.]

Cougar guy Im no janitor I might appoint you to that role given your apparent mental capacity

[WSUCougar]

Cougar guy Im no janitor I might appoint you to that role given your apparent mental capacity
How do you know I'm a guy? I could be an androgenous, gelatinous cube.

[J.H.D.]

I have no care what you are just know your place. Things have changed on these boards

[Poli]

Let's kill him, Coug.

[WSUCougar]

I have no care what you are just know your place. Things have changed on these boards
Ah! If that's the case, then I am but the spittle that flecks from your frothing fervor. A mere lick of your annointed lips and I take flight.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Well, I've had my fun. I hope one of the mods comes by soon.

okthxbye

[WSUCougar]

Let's kill him, Coug.
Not yet. Cat-like, we must play with the rodent first. Bat him around a bit.

[stevew]

How long til the hellban.

[korme]

Why do golf balls have dimples?

Is there any truth to the old saying "Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, never fear"?
well it's liquor before beer... yer in the clear

but no, no truth to it if you have average alcohol drinking experience

[J.H.D.]

I will not be banned I have committed no offense, the greatest men all are persecuted though and I know one day my detractors will win. I can live with the fact this board will forever be changed by my presence

[Tigercat]

Im here to clean up these boards

Dont worry you will be promptly fired in the morning. You will know its happened by the trademark patriotic speedo left at the scene.

[WSUCougar]

You're gonna "forever be changed" when you're residue on the bottom of SkyDog's shoe in a matter of hours. Live the dream!

[J.H.D.]

I will be here with you all at dawn and beyond

[MacroGuru]

Thank you for the fun!

Have a mint on the way out, and please leave a customer comment card for us, we need the T.P.

[WSUCougar]

John
Henry
Doppleganger

Just
Here
Dilly-dallying

Japanese
Hornet
Destroyer

Just
HUGE
Dick

Tell me if I get it.

Pics plz thks.

[J.H.D.]

Please refrain from your mindless chatter

[Chubby]

Just
Hidden
DaveDial?

[MacroGuru]

Juicy
Handjobs
Daily

[GoldenEagle]

This guy is funny! Please do not ban him. His posts have had me laughing my ass off.

[Lathum]

So I am putting the over/under on this moron getting banned at 3.5 days. Taking all bets.

[J.H.D.]

Thank you my first vote of confidence

[J.H.D.]

Gambling is a sin and I will rid this board of all evils

[VPI97]

Click me. (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/profile.php?do=addlist&userlist=ignore&u=3516)

[Eaglesfan27]

Classic. :)

[clintl]

So I am putting the over/under on this moron getting banned at 3.5 days. Taking all bets.

He'll be gone as soon SkyDog reads the board in the morning.

[GoldenEagle]

So I am putting the over/under on this moron getting banned at 3.5 days. Taking all bets.
2 days. skydog is such a dictator!

Seriosuly though, I think this is just what FOFC needs.

[J.H.D.]

Do not pollute this thread with talk of your sinful lifestyle

[GoldenEagle]

What is your thought on this Memphis football team this year?

[mckerney]

Ignorimated

[The Afoci]

Your clean should start with my balls. My cleaning never seems to do much for anything but the shaft.

I can hit a target at 15 feet.

I got nothing.

[SunDancer]

This guy is funny! Please do not ban him. His posts have had me laughing my ass off.

I agree, I am laughing so hard. He's only 18 and at/or going to Ohio State according to his profile. And its says his favorite hobbies are "Computers and girls". Wheres HerJHD online?

[GoldenEagle]

Afoci is lurking - this shit is about to get good!

Where is the popcorn?

[Draft Dodger]

you know, I work 10 freaking hours today, and the board is a motherfucking ghosttown. I left work 7 minutes before the fun started.

[J.H.D.]

Afoci I have no desire to clean your genitals thats something most of us consider a manual chore.

[clintl]

The real over/under question is how many posts will he have before SkyDog boots him? I'm going with 125.

[Pyser]

it took me THREE YEARS to get to 500 posts. this guy will pass me in 2 days.

[Pyser]

hahaa. its late.

FOUR YEARS.

[GoldenEagle]

What is your thought on this Memphis football team this year?
Let's hear your thoughts!

[J.H.D.]

Memphis Football does not exist. Next question......

[clintl]

Thoughts? He only seems to have one.

[The Afoci]

Afoci I have no desire to clean your genitals thats something most of us consider a manual chore.

H.D. Don't clean my genitals then. Your momma was on the way over to shave my ass crack anyway. Perhaps another cheeto could encourage a little extra effort. You know that lady is crazy for the cheetos. Just like her coffee and paper.

[GoldenEagle]

Memphis Football does not exist. Next question......
Ban this guy!

[J.H.D.]

**********Announcement**********
As acting president it is my honor to name the first appointment to my staff. In the short time that Ive been here one member has quickly stood out as worthy of such an honarable position. It is my pleasure to name my new friend The Afoci the new board Jester/Idiot. I think he will serve this board well.

Plainly,

Board President J.H.D.

[The Afoci]

Wow. You make pretty posts.

[J.H.D.]

look at him on the job, on a holiday nonetheless

[SplitPersonality1]

How do you know I'm a guy? I could be an androgenous, gelatinous cube.

gelatinous cube? Huh. I always pictured you as more of a displacer beast.

[SplitPersonality1]

dola.

as far as the over/under goes. Let's take the under.

[thealmighty]

Hey, J.H.D., I like the Bacon quote. Too true.

I also like your answers to questions. Fast and full of vital information. Therefore, my first query:
Due to my the strange circumstances of my upbringing, I have a few, shall we say, quirks. I was wondering what you think of this one, as I often feel I may be the only person alive who does this (never heard of anyone else)- when I am on the toilet taking a dump after having washed up or brushed my teeth, I find myself having "races" with the water droplets in the sink, watching them race to the drain, wondering if a droplet will engulf another to speed it on its way or pass another droplet further down the sink wall. So, is this just normal obsessive behavior or should I confess and turn myself in for, well, never mind that, but what do you think?

[J.H.D.]

I do not profess to be an expert in the field of mental health I suggest you see a psychiatrist. I will be appointing one for the board after I review all applications.

[duckman]

Okay. Who brought the weirdo (aka J.H.D.) to the party? :rolleyes:

[thealmighty]

Well then, I would like to apply for board psychologist.

Resume uncluding but not limited to:

BS, Psychology, SMU, Dallas, Tx. (as this is not a major sports position, death penalty and all-around suckiness of said programs should not be factored in to the SMU equation when going over possible candidates).
teach high school AP Psychology


References available upon request.

[J.H.D.]

Nice one duckman maybe ill find a spot for you on my cabinet

[J.H.D.]

Only one vote so far thats not good, we need to move usher the SkyDog era out

[duckman]

What did the five fingers say to the face?

[MacroGuru]

SLAP!

[J.H.D.]

I dont know but I dont think I will be appointing a board comedian seeing as though we already have board smartasses

[vex]

I dont know but I dont think I will be appointing a board comedian seeing as though we already have board smartasses

Seeing as how you're an idiot, you'll have to settle for the title of ass.

[duckman]

I'm Rick James, BITCH!

[J.H.D.]

No Im the Board President SkyDog has resigned

[vex]

Skydog is a dictator, not a president. Long live Skydog!

[duckman]

Skydog is a dictator, not a president. Long live Skydog!
Long live Skydog!!!!

[Suicane75]

Ya know, the regulars have totaly carried the troll in this match, the crowd was dead halfway in due to the refusal of the troll to sell anything at all, the prolonged chinlock at the 2 hour mark just totaly sent the match in to negative stars, who's the face and who's the heel here? The troll is trying hard to be heel but the crowd is not so much angry as it is apathetic, he goes the swarmy route but nobodies buying it. Finnaly after 3 hours we get a double count out.........who the fuck booked this mess? One can only hope that there is no rematch.

[TLK]

Ya know, the regulars have totaly carried the troll in this match, the crowd was dead halfway in due to the refusal of the troll to sell anything at all, the prolonged chinlock at the 2 hour mark just totaly sent the match in to negative stars, who's the face and who's the heel here? The troll is trying hard to be heel but the crowd is not so much angry as it is apathetic, he goes the swarmy route but nobodies buying it. Finnaly after 3 hours we get a double count out.........who the fuck booked this mess? One can only hope that there is no rematch.
Suicane = Scott Keith :eek:


http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/images/smilies/smile.gif

[Ben E Lou]

Good! It's about time SkyDog hired a maid. Now whip your Swiffer out and get your scrawny ass to work.

Oh, and I'd wear rubber gloves when you clean the urinals.

And don't vacuum when I'm online. That high-pitched whine drives me ape-shit.For the record, this is the post that qualified this thread to be undeleted. Good stuff, WSU! ;)

[Ben E Lou]

I will be here with you all at dawn and beyondWorst. Prophecy. Ever.

[Ben E Lou]

So I am putting the over/under on this moron getting banned at 3.5 days. Taking all bets.You've GOT to be kidding me. Don't you know that I'm a dictator sometimes???!!! :p

[duckman]

So I am putting the over/under on this moron getting banned at 3.5 days. Taking all bets.
Man, I should had taken that bet. :D

[Ragone]

triple posting without a dola notification skydog.. come on now, you think you are some sorta dictator or.. wait, you are. :)

I think when jhd was handing out cabinet spots, he was referring to the spots in the medicine cabinet next to his haldol and valium

[Julio Riddols]

That was a hilarious read all the way through.. Fine thread indeed..

Edit: My golf game has improved since I got these Ginsu knives and read this thread.

[BishopMVP]

Okay. Who brought the weirdo (aka J.H.D.) to the party? :rolleyes:It's "Who brought the cool kid?" For someone who spends as much time on a message board as you, the sarcasm level should be much, much higher. ;)

[Poli]

Darn. JHD is banned. What a bummer. :)

[JonInMiddleGA]

Suicane = Scott Keith :eek:

Y'know, that's really gonna be an underrated post you made there.
But it was the best laugh I got out of the whole thread.
Thanks :)

[The Afoci]

Darn. JHD is banned. What a bummer. :)

I figured it was you. It smelled of NCR the whole time. ;)

[Ben E Lou]

I fixed his first post for him.

[Blackadar]

I fixed his first post for him.


NOW this thread is worth reading. :)

[fantastic flying froggies]

I fixed his first post for him.
:D

[sovereignstar]

CHRIST11!111! LOL THIS MORNNG P3OPLA LOST POSTS1111 OMG

[stevew]

Ya know, the regulars have totaly carried the troll in this match, the crowd was dead halfway in due to the refusal of the troll to sell anything at all, the prolonged chinlock at the 2 hour mark just totaly sent the match in to negative stars, who's the face and who's the heel here? The troll is trying hard to be heel but the crowd is not so much angry as it is apathetic, he goes the swarmy route but nobodies buying it. Finnaly after 3 hours we get a double count out.........who the fuck booked this mess? One can only hope that there is no rematch.

Brilliant

[JeeberD]

Well then, I would like to apply for board psychologist.

Resume uncluding but not limited to:

BS, Psychology, SMU, Dallas, Tx. (as this is not a major sports position, death penalty and all-around suckiness of said programs should not be factored in to the SMU equation when going over possible candidates).



:(

How the (al)mighty have fallen...

[IMetTrentGreen]

is there a backstory as to who JHD is or do you guys just have no sense of humor?

[DaddyTorgo]

good question. do we have any idea who JHD is/was? Has anyone traced his IP back and found out anything about him?

[JeeberD]

http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showpost.php?p=573425&postcount=21

[DaddyTorgo]

gotcha. good times. Apparently the patriotic speedo is on the case! Hey Jeeber...with more posts than the HNIC, how come you aren't our feerless despot? Does that mean that you remember a time before SD???

[IMetTrentGreen]

good enough for me

[JeeberD]

gotcha. good times. Apparently the patriotic speedo is on the case! Hey Jeeber...with more posts than the HNIC, how come you aren't our feerless despot? Does that mean that you remember a time before SD???

Nah, I just post too much... ;)

[Suicane75]

Man, i hate being masturbated all over.

[JeeberD]

That's not what bbor told me... :confused:

[Suicane75]

That's not what bbor told me... :confused:


My natural instinct is to be very gay and make people uncomfortable, but no, i'll be good.

[NoMyths]

skydug! ur dictater sumtimez~!!1111!!!

[DaddyTorgo]

Nah, I just post too much... ;)
Shoot. And here I was hoping there was actually someone who remembered the days before SD. Ancient history.

History has turned to myth, myth has turned to legend, and many things that should not have been forgotten were. For two and a half thousand years the Dark Scourge has ruled this....bulletin board. And none now live who remember the days before.

We are all of us servants of the Dark Lord, whether we realize it or not! We all have our roles to play in his plan!

[Suicane75]

Shoot. And here I was hoping there was actually someone who remembered the days before SD. Ancient history.

History has turned to myth, myth has turned to legend, and many things that should not have been forgotten were. For two and a half thousand years the Dark Scourge has ruled this....bulletin board. And none now live who remember the days before.

We are all of us servants of the Dark Lord, whether we realize it or not! We all have our roles to play in his plan!


Dude, wheres my car!!!!??

[DaddyTorgo]

Dude, wheres my car!!!!??
Hmmn? How's that relate to THAT movie?

[cuervo72]

You're gonna "forever be changed" when you're residue on the bottom of SkyDog's shoe in a matter of hours. Live the dream!

Since I will no longer be working in television, which will sadden advertisers, and prevent me from appearing with Guns N' Roses, at Phillips First Union Center in January, Yep, because I'll be dead. I think I said that earlier. So, to summarize... classic rock will be forever changed!

[ISiddiqui]

Damn, I miss all of the fun. Can't you wait to introduce utter nutjobs when I'm online next time? Thanks :D.

[duckman]

It's "Who brought the cool kid?" For someone who spends as much time on a message board as you, the sarcasm level should be much, much higher. ;)
Hey! I resembled that remark. ;)

[sachmo71]

Worst. Prophecy. Ever.


LOL! :D