PDA

View Full Version : IWS #104 - Results (Warning: Parental Advisory)


QuikSand
03-28-2005, 10:06 AM
I’m With Stupid #104 – No Fucking Holds Barred

Original Contest Link (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?t=37231)

An entertaining contest, right up Stupid’s alley – no fucking research necessary. So, let’s get the fucking show on the road, eh motherfuckers?

#1 – What curse word do you use the most often?

30 fuck
19 shit
2 damn
ass
hell

First of all, only a fucking idiot uses a phrase like “curse word” for this sort of thing.

Second of all, if you didn’t say fuck or shit here, you‘re fucked, and you fucking deserve it. You don’t tell the fucking truth in this game, you assswipe, you answer what other fuckers are going to say. And they are stupid. Eliminator, but with two arguable answers at least. (Stay fucking tuned)


#2 – Name a two-word phrase (not a single compound word), which includes one curse word and one regular word.

20 mother fucker
15 fuck you
4 holy shit
3 fuck off
2 dumb fuck
2 god damn
ass hat

Sometime, I just fucking hate Stupid. Motherfucker is one word, you fucktard! One fucking word! That’s exactly why I fucking put the fucking qualifier in the fucking question, you fucking waste of carbon! Motherfucker!

The correct answer was fuck you, but good guys finish last, it seems. Or second. As for the rest of you dumbasses, you’re just fucked. And rightfully so.


#3 – Name someone who is famously funny, in large part, for the use of curse words.

21 George Carlin
9 Eddie Murphy
7 Chris Rock
6 Richard Pryor
3 Andrew Dice Clay
2 Robin Williams
Denis Leary
Sam Kinison
Redd Foxx
Jim Carrey
Lewis Black

I have nothing to add – good spread here, and Stupid got it right for once.


#4 – Name someone who got in trouble for using curse word(s) in an improper setting.

8 Bono
7 Dick Cheney
5 Howard Stern
4 George W Bush
4 Dale Earnhardt Jr.
2 Bob Knight
2 me
2 Andrew Dice Clay
2 Paul Silas
2 Shaquille O’Neal
Bill Clinton
Gary Kroger
Tiger Woods
Ralphie
Kellen Winslow Jr.
John McEnroe
Johnny Rotten
George Carlin
Lenny Bruce
John Kerry
Jim Mora
Chris Rock
Vince Neil
Theresa Heinz Kerry


Interesting spread – you were fucking beautiful as long as you came up with a respectable answer with a reasonable and somewhat-fucking-recent theory. If you went with Gary Kroger, you get the I’m-smarter-than-you points, and you’re fucked in terms of winning the contest. Way to go, dick.


#5 – Give a famous movie quote (near-misses and paraphrases will count, don’t worry) that includes at least one curse word.

16 “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”
12 “Yipee Kiyay, motherfucker”
2 “You got knocked the fuck out”
…followed by a totally pointless and impossibly long list of fucking ridiculous answers that nobody else could have possibly matched


Beautiful fucking question, if I do say so myself. Either you got it, or you didn’t. The two good answers were neck and neck as I was counting… but Rhett won out in the end. Fucking classics wins out over something we fucking saw last Tuesday. Maybe there’s some fucking hope for this contest after all.

I'm mildly surprised that the Risky Business quote got only one vote -- I thought that might be the only other possible entry in this race.

If you gave me some 60-word movie quote from some bullshit flick you saw in high school, you just had your head up your ass and I’m not going to pass on your brain fart for you. If you want to represent yourself as a useless assclown, do it in your own fucking dime.


#6 – What curse word, other than the female vulgarity “c-word,” are you least willing to use, even in a setting when others might?

22 fuck
5 nigger
3 pussy
3 bitch
3 cocksucker
3 goddamn
2 twat
2 whore
2 cock
2 godammit
dick
clit
asshat
poof


So, after you litter your fucking entry with language that would make a fucking sailor blush, then half of you decide to pull a PC stunt here, and worry about words that might be offensive to certain people? Fuck them, and fuck you. When in doubt, the best thing to say is fuck. Winner, winner, fucking chicken dinner.

Oh, if you submitted goddamn or goddammit and think you got fucked here… shove it up your ass. Read the rules. I’m god, and you’re fucked. You wouldn’t have won anyway.



With that fucking ordeal behind us, let’s see who made it to the lists of honor:

First of all – the GOSH DARNIT list:


Vince 680,400
Celeval 680,400
temley06 574,560
Johnny93g 453,600
spleen1015 369,600
oliegirl 319,200
gottimd 252,000
rightf 240,768
hhiipp 221,760
critch 181,440
moriarty 172,800
Desnudo 150,480
wheels 140,448
Barkeep49 140,448
Alf 138,600
ntndeacon 133,760
Dutch 117,600
BrianD 95,040
gstelmack 69,120
Coffee Warlord 66,000
timmae 64,800
mhass 64,800
TazFTW 47,880
TRO 40,128
Touchstone 20,520
kurtism 20,160
MIJB #19 19,800
Samifan24 13,440
Pyser 12,600
kingfc22 12,000
Maple Leafs 11,088
Raven Hawk 8,360
Z2+ 7,560
RPI-Fan 6,930
Raiders Army 4,320
soapy 4,050
RFUS 3,420
Kevin 1,368
tanglewood 1,064
paperstreetsoap 360
duckman 360


Now, onto the people who fucking put something into it. Here’s the BULLSHIT list:


General Mike 5,617,920
VPI97 5,617,920
JeeberD 4,838,400
primelord 3,160,080
albionmoonlight 3,024,000
wade moore 1,940,400
Archer219 1,764,000
digamma 1,360,800
Huckleberry 1,203,840
Kwhit 1,036,800


Our runner up gets a special place on the FUCKING HOWARD STERN YOU LESBIAN SPANKING SHITHEAD list:


EagleFan 16,632,000


And to our new king, he stands alone on the GREATEST MOTHERFUCKER HERE list:


SplitPersonality1 19,662,720



Congratulations, Split Pea – you’re a fucking winner. And your friend, too.

Raiders Army
03-28-2005, 10:10 AM
Great fucking IWS.

albionmoonlight
03-28-2005, 10:13 AM
Fuck.

Stupid Fucking Catholicism. Making me think that Goddamn is worse than it really is.

Congratufuckinglations, SP1.

panerd
03-28-2005, 10:15 AM
This contest was just like a great big pussy, it was just waiting to be fucked.

I couldn't come up with a quote and missed the deadline to enter. I didn't think it would be the weak "I don't give a damn". I would have hit the other 5 though.

TRO
03-28-2005, 10:15 AM
How eloquent.

JeeberD
03-28-2005, 10:17 AM
Goddamn motherfucking sixth question fucking killed me. I had a fucking perfect score until that son of a bitch question...

kurtism
03-28-2005, 10:17 AM
Best. Fucking. Results. Post. Ever.

JeeberD
03-28-2005, 10:18 AM
Dola-

With as foul a mouth as duckman has I would have expected a much higher score from him...

tanglewood
03-28-2005, 10:20 AM
No one else quoted Pulp Fiction? That's fucking outrageous...

Celeval
03-28-2005, 10:21 AM
Celeval 680,400
Darn.

QuikSand
03-28-2005, 10:36 AM
No one else quoted Pulp Fiction? That's fucking outrageous...

Pick a fucking quote. I'd hazard that five people quoted Pulp Fiction, but each person had his own fucking quote.

gottimd
03-28-2005, 10:40 AM
No one else quoted Pulp Fiction? That's fucking outrageous...
That fucking question was fucking hard to remember any god damn line from a mother fucking movie. I drew a fucking blank. Shit, I just used the first fucking line that came to my mind.

WSUCougar
03-28-2005, 10:45 AM
Damn...I mean, fuck...who hacked into Quiksand's programming?

KWhit
03-28-2005, 10:47 AM
At least I made the bullshit list.

tanglewood
03-28-2005, 10:56 AM
Pick a fucking quote. I'd hazard that five people quoted Pulp Fiction, but each person had his own fucking quote.

"ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER!!! DO - YOU - SPEAK - IT?"

I mean, how the fuck can anyone not remember that line? Bastards...

mhass
03-28-2005, 11:08 AM
"ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER!!! DO - YOU - SPEAK - IT?"

I mean, how the fuck can anyone not remember that line? Bastards...
Works just as well as "Say 'what' one more time, motherfucker!" which is why I went another direction. Still got fucking clobbered.

Just fucking beautiful, Quiksand. Just fucking beautiful. You're welcome to rewrite the fucking boilerplate for IWS to include some language from your fucking results post. Might get these fuckers in line.

Maple Leafs
03-28-2005, 11:10 AM
I'm mildly surprised that the Risky Business quote got only one vote -- I thought that might be the only other possible entry in this race.
You and me both.

BrianD
03-28-2005, 11:17 AM
You and me both.

If it is any consolation, I nearly picked the Risky Business quote too.

There were so many good quotes, it was hard to pick. I also thought of going the Pulp Fiction route, but there were too many quotes to chose from. If I had to choose one, I'd have gone with:
Pumpkin: Which one is your wallet?
Jules Winnfield: It's the one that says "Bad Motherfucker".

Huckleberry
03-28-2005, 11:27 AM
"Mother fuckers"?!?!?!?!? Two fucking words?!?!?!?!?!?

For fucking fuck's sake.

moriarty
03-28-2005, 12:00 PM
Ahhh, blew it on #6 w/ my Asshat response. Well, at least it was better than 'poof'. WTF?

fantastic flying froggies
03-28-2005, 12:01 PM
That has got to be the best IWS result write-up of all time! And coming from QS, no less...

VPI97
03-28-2005, 12:10 PM
God Dammit. Top 5, but still no fucking win.

Who's dick do I gotta suck to get a fucking win in this horse shit contest?

Dutch
03-28-2005, 12:19 PM
I knew I would lose badly but this IWS rocked! Maybe, and if only, because it was created by the mind of Quiksand. They just don't go together at all....which is what makes this IWS an instant classic. :)

SplitPersonality1
03-28-2005, 01:08 PM
Hehehehe. I win. Fuck you all.


Oh shit. I have to provide the followup to perhaps the greatest IWS of all time.

FUCK!

EagleFan
03-28-2005, 01:17 PM
Go fucking figure, the closest I come to winning a QS IWS and this is the one. Good job SP, you bastard ;).

kingfc22
03-28-2005, 08:13 PM
At least I didn't come in fucking last place you stupid mother fucker (2 words) :D

cthomer5000
03-28-2005, 08:18 PM
wonderful fucking IWS. Unfortunately i didn't catch on until QS was already calculating the fucking results.

I would've fucked myself with an answer of "holy shit" for question 2 anyway.

Desnudo
03-28-2005, 08:21 PM
FFS, Gone With the Wind was seventy years ago.

General Mike
03-28-2005, 08:23 PM
fuck I could only manage 3rd place in this mother fucker. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Buccaneer
03-28-2005, 08:44 PM
No one else quoted Pulp Fiction? That's fucking outrageous...
Because it's one of the worst fucking stupidest movie ever? Shit, now he got me doing it.

Buccaneer
03-28-2005, 08:46 PM
Ahhh, blew it on #6 w/ my Asshat response. Well, at least it was better than 'poof'. WTF?
Gotta be MIJB, you think?

Munsonian
03-28-2005, 09:14 PM
penis



[giggles]
[runs and hides]

kcchief19
03-28-2005, 10:43 PM
Last edited by QuikSand : Today at 10:11 AM. Reason: fucking formatting errors My favorite part of the results.

Can't believe I missed this one. Thirty slashes with a wet fucking noodle for not being an IWS regular.

MIJB#19
03-29-2005, 05:44 AM
Fuck, I clearly fucked up, despite nailing down the three fucking answers...

Alf
03-29-2005, 06:25 AM
Guess this crowd is not very well educated, missing De Niro's "Taxi Driver" fucking quote !