How to Handle Roommate

[terpkristin]

I admit, that currently, I'm a bitch. I also don't really need to hear the "grow a pair" bit of "advice" because that's not exactly the problem.

Probably everybody knows here that my roommate has been a pain in my ass since we moved to this new apartment (last June). He was bad before then, but this just takes the cake. I moved in about a week before him, and he moved most of the "multi-use" stuff like dishes and silverware, because he was "still using them" when I moved. I had surgery right after I moved in, and since moving back in to my apartment (i.e. since August/September), things have been going downhill.

Now our lease is almost up and I'm looking forward to moving the hell away from him (and probably into my own apartment, if I have a job), but there are things I've been asking him about SINCE I CAME BACK FROM MY SURGERY that he still hasn't answered. For example, when we moved into the OLD apartment, I had a full 8-piece set of dishes (regular plates, desert plates, coffee mugs, saucers, EVERYTHING) and a full 10 piece set of silverware. Currently, I seem to be missing the following (haven't been able to find it since we moved in, it's certainly not with the other dishes or silverware):
5 regular plates
6 desert plates
1-2 saucers
1-2 mugs
8+ forks
8+ spoons
2 pint glasses
4+ small plastic cups

I've asked him repeatedly where these things are, and always get a coy "you just haven't found everything" answer. I've asked him just to be straight with me, because really I don't have the time to scavenge the apartment, and I can't get an answer out of him.

Now that we're getting readyish to move out, I want these things. I admit that some of this came up because of money things. I've been unemployed for 3.5 months and haven't been able to pay, for example, cable from last month or this month. Not that I think I should since he's the one who insists we have this mega digital cable setup with premium channels, and because he's always monopolizing the room and the DVR, I don't actually use it. Literally, in our 1,000 sq. ft. apartment, I spend 95% of my time in my 10x11 room. So he's being an asshole about wanting money, and I really can't give it to him (I would if I could, even though it pisses me off, I just plain don't have it). Then there's the fact that for our first year together, I paid $100 more per month in rent than he did, because he had "financial problems." He justified it by saying I had the bigger room, and because I knew I made more money than he did, I decided to be a nice person and do it. Now he's got the bigger room and we're paying equal rent.

Then there's the matter of furniture. He has one of my lamps and one of my bookcases, which he borrowed at one point and hasn't reimbursed me for. Obviously, I want these back and he's not giving them back.

At this point, if I thought I could get away with it (legally), I'd screw him in the butt and just move out now, f'ing him for rent and cable, and then demand my furniture and dishes back. But, I don't think that's going to work.

So lots of questions.
1. How do I either a) get my dishes etc back or b) get him to pay me back for them, because I've noticed that NONE of his stuff is missing.
2. Is there any legal way I can screw him over?
3. How do I get my furniture back?
4. Does anybody know a hit man? I could really use one about now...

I admit, that some of my frustration comes though being depressed over being unemployed broke. It doesn't help that the jerk complains of being broke when he just bought a $2600 bike (his philosophy was that he needed to buy his new toys now before he moves in with his girlfriend and has to "justify" his purchases--oh yes, he's a real catch of a man).

There's got to be some way to get back at him on some level, and at the very least get my personal posessions back. No matter how many times I ask or how forcefully I ask (from super nice to super bitchy), I can't seem to do it. What do I do next?

/tk

[rkmsuf]

cut your losses.

that's the best advice I'd give you.

if it's revenge you want I'm sure you can come up with something. perhaps liquid heat in his jock.

[Blackadar]

Take some of his shit and even it out. :)

[Suicane75]

Cam is in that area right? Maybe he and a 2 of his "friends" could pay a visit.

[Franklinnoble]

I'd leave an upper decker in his toilet.

[Desnudo]

Like rkmsuf said, I'd cut your losses. I'd leave the personal vengeance goal out of things. It'll just make you feel worse in the end and might cause you more trouble than it's worth. I would take satisfaction from knowing that I'm not going to ever have to see this person again. If the guy is as much of a screwball as you make out, you don't have to worry about messing things up for him.

If you really want your stuff back, I'd find a large friend to help you move and to be there when you ask for your things. It seems silly, but it'll probably work if he really has your dishes and whatnot in the apartment.

[albionmoonlight]

Cam is in that area right? Maybe he and a 2 of his "friends" could pay a visit.
"Hello, I'd like you to meet my friend Cam and his two buddies, Smith & Wesson."


Seriously, I think that your best bet may be to just cut your losses.

However, if you had a friend in law school or something, perhaps you could write up a letter to him that sounded all official. Demand the value of your items back within 30 days or you will be forced to refer the matter to small claims court. Mention something about collection agencies and his credit report, too. It would be an empty threat, but some people will respond to a letter with lots of legal sounding stuff printed on fancy letterhead.

Or you could put icy-hot in his jock and have Cam shoot him. Whatever works.

[CamEdwards]

Cam is in that area right? Maybe he and a 2 of his "friends" could pay a visit.

I try not to venture into the People's Republic of Maryland.

And I don't think "growing a pair" is really applicable here. Sounds like both of you have at one point or another taken advantage of each other. I think the advice to "cut your losses and move on" is probably the best advice you're gonna get.

[Lathum]

Like rkmsuf said, I'd cut your losses. I'd leave the personal vengeance goal out of things. It'll just make you feel worse in the end and might cause you more trouble than it's worth. I would take satisfaction from knowing that I'm not going to ever have to see this person again. If the guy is as much of a screwball as you make out, you don't have to worry about messing things up for him.

If you really want your stuff back, I'd find a large friend to help you move and to be there when you ask for your things. It seems silly, but it'll probably work if he really has your dishes and whatnot in the apartment.
Ditto. Sometimes you just gotta say screw it and move on. You may have lost some of your stuff but once you have your own place and some income think of how much fun you will have buying new stuff.

[Joe]

tell his girlfriend that the two of you have been screwing.

[terpkristin]

tell his girlfriend that the two of you have been screwing.
EW on so many different levels. I would NEVER stoop myself to her level by (even pretending to) screwing him. They are dumber and dumberer. Ew ew ew ew ew.

/tk

[Draft Dodger]

in my case I had a bad roommate moving I knew he was taking some of my stuff, so I just took stuff from him to balance it out.

plus, he was stiffing us on his long-overdue share of his utilities, so I decided to "help" him take ownership of those responsibilities - I got his SS# and called all the utilities to put them into his name (and, to be helpful, gave them a forwarding adress...the guys parents). I don't believe that is legal, however, so YMMV

[Samdari]

EW on so many different levels. I would NEVER stoop myself to her level by (even pretending to) screwing him. They are dumber and dumberer. Ew ew ew ew ew.

/tk

Nobody said actually DO it, just tell his GF that you are.

Must be a grad of Maryland.

[Franklinnoble]

I think you need a few pairs of handcuffs and a strap-on.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Judge Judy?

[Desnudo]

I think you need a few pairs of handcuffs and a strap-on.

That's worked for you?

[sachmo71]

Cut your losses. Consider it the price of never seeing him again.

[gottimd]

I'd leave an upper decker in his toilet.

Theres the spirit! Leave an upper decker everywhere!

I like the idea of telling his GF you have been sleeping with him as well. But go over her place first and leave an upper decker there, then tell her.

[rkmsuf]

That's worked for you?


Yeah, I'm not sure what exactly frank had in mind there.

[rkmsuf]

Theres the spirit! Leave an upper decker everywhere!

I like the idea of telling his GF you have been sleeping with him as well. But go over her place first and leave an upper decker there, then tell her.



If possible leave and upper decker on his forehead. That's always a nice touch.

[Franklinnoble]

Yeah, I'm not sure what exactly frank had in mind there.
Oh, come on.

I only needed the handcuffs.

[rkmsuf]

Maybe you should stick his cellphone in...


ok that's not right.

[terpkristin]

What is an upper-decker (I'm afraid to ask)

/tk

[Desnudo]

If possible leave and upper decker on his forehead. That's always a nice touch.

Unless it results in a marriage proposal.

[Desnudo]

What is an upper-decker (I'm afraid to ask)

/tk

You should be. But since you asked, it's a #2 put in the tank of the toilet.

[gottimd]

http://www.electronicthrift.com/upperdecker.jpg

You know the tank on a toilet? The part that makes the toliet work? Well you lock yourself in the bathroom at a party or get together. You take the lid off the tank and crap in the water where all the pumps are. You put the lid back on and leave the bathroom. Now since the tank part doesn’t empty everytime the toilet flushes it will leave a terrible odor. No one will know where the smell is coming from until the toliet stops working. Then they get a nasty surprise when they take off the tank. It works best at a dorm room or at someones house that you don’t like.

[terpkristin]

One other thing...especially in the part about "cutting losses."
In general, yeah, I'm ok with that and have decided on some level that's just what I'm going to have to do anyway.
But in particular with the dinnerware and the pint glasses.
1. The dinnerware was a complete set I inherited when my aunt died. Even after I get a job and can buy all my own stuff, I was hoping to give the dinnerware to my sister, who just got into grad school and doesn't have any of her own stuff yet. It's really not fair to ask my parents to buy that when we HAD a complete set to begin with.
2. The pint glasses I'm especially pissed about because they were one-of-a kind and had senimental value.

/tk

[Draft Dodger]

ok, then, in that case, get a couple of intimidating friends to help you move - make sure they are around when you ask for that stuff back.

[rkmsuf]

ok, then, in that case, get a couple of intimidating friends to help you move - make sure they are around when you ask for that stuff back.


Problem is that it's very likely the stuff is broken or just gone. You can't tell me the guy wouldn't just give it back if he could. I think he's dodging it because it's destroyed or lost.

I'd guess that if you are as vilgilant as you say in your inquiry into the stuff he'd give it back if he could just to get you off his back. I mean he isn't seriously trying to steal dishes.

[FrogMan]

ok, then, in that case, get a couple of intimidating friends to help you move - make sure they are around when you ask for that stuff back.dude, if I remember correctly, said roommate is a black belt in some sort of karate, not sure the intimidation would work too well...

tk, that sucks. Not much I can say to help you. Was gonna suggest to "cut your losses" but I see your point about some things not being replaceable... Good luck with the job hunt is all I can say, get your own place...

FM

edit to add that again iirc, he's something like 6'4" to again give an idea about what kind of fellow we're dealing with...

[hhiipp]

I'm a firm believer in never take anything non-replaceable to college, so much stuff ends up stolen, missing, and broken there. You'll probably just have to go thru his junk if you really want to salvage any of it, but I'd imagine if you are actually able to find some of it, it won't be in very good shape.

[Draft Dodger]

dude, if I remember correctly, said roommate is a black belt in some sort of karate, not sure the intimidation would work too well...

tk, that sucks. Not much I can say to help you. Was gonna suggest to "cut your losses" but I see your point about some things not being replaceable... Good luck with the job hunt is all I can say, get your own place...

FM

edit to add that again iirc, he's something like 6'4" to again give an idea about what kind of fellow we're dealing with...

bah!
I could take him

[terpkristin]

Yeah, he's 6'7" with a black belt in Tang Soo Do.
Still the largest tool in the shed, though, arrogant bastard.

/tk

[FrogMan]

bah!
I could take him
LOL! Even with the 3 inches tk just added to his frame?

Dang, 6'7" black belt...

FM

[Desnudo]

Sounds like a job for Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

http://www.brucelee.com/images/BLIMG/bruce22.jpg

[Franklinnoble]

...
Still the largest tool in the shed, though...
So, he's well endowed, and all this aggression is just a front for your secret desire to take a ride on his bone rollercoaster...

;)

[MacroGuru]

Yeah, he's 6'7" with a black belt in Tang Soo Do.
Still the largest tool in the shed, though, arrogant bastard.

/tk

Nothing a brown canvas sack and a bat won't take care of.....

[terpkristin]

And yet, FN, in this case I meant "tool" as in poseur, thinks he's god's gift to ____________ (any subject can go in the blank, he thinks he's all of it and more).

/tk

[Desnudo]

Nothing a brown canvas sack and a bat won't take care of.....

I don't see what stealing his laundry and whacking it with a bat will accomplish.

[gottimd]

And yet, FN, in this case I meant "tool" as in poseur, thinks he's god's gift to ____________ (any subject can go in the blank, he thinks he's all of it and more).

/tk

oooh, is that a Mad Libs?

I'll use the subject "Faggoty Libyan Terrorists"

[hhiipp]

thinks he's god's gift to homosexuals
/tk
Filled it for you.

[Samdari]

ok, then, in that case, get a couple of intimidating friends to help you move

I guess we can rule out Cam.

[Buzzbee]

Poke pinholes in his bike tires.

Change the settings on the DVR to mess with his TV viewing (seems like he was technologically challenged based on your wireless router thread a while back)

Cut small slit in his mattress, insert fish, sew up small slit.

'Accidently' bleach his favorite jeans/shirt when doing laundry.

Drink his beer.

[sooner333]

Drink his beer.

Now, now...let's not get too carried away here.

[The Afoci]

Cover the bastard in peanut butter in his sleep. Dress up in drag and hand cuff the bastard to the bed. Invest in the biggest strapon you can find. Tell him if he doesn't tell you where your shit is, you will find it yourself starting with his ass. Remember, 30 lbs. of pressure to remove balls and sack from body. If all else fails, piss on one side of his pillow, shit on the other. Wipe with the case.

[General Mike]

Take him to small claims court. Maybe we'll get to see you on Judge Judy.

[PilotMan]

My best advice on this one is look for as much stuff as you can find, the closer it gets to your moveout date, invade his space. If you can't seem to find what you are missing even it up a little with stuff of his. Honestly, while a lot of this stuff seems important now, basically because its all you have, in time it won't really matter at all. You should be able to get the furniture back from him, but even if you don't you should be able to replace it realtively quick. You just need to get out of there, you will be so much happier, and you will find that you really don't care about the rest once you are a little bit calmer in a different place.

[rkmsuf]

Cover the bastard in peanut butter in his sleep. Dress up in drag and hand cuff the bastard to the bed. Invest in the biggest strapon you can find. Tell him if he doesn't tell you where your shit is, you will find it yourself starting with his ass. Remember, 30 lbs. of pressure to remove balls and sack from body. If all else fails, piss on one side of his pillow, shit on the other. Wipe with the case.

That sounds like too much fun. He may steal more.

[terpkristin]

UPDATE:
It looks like we're getting out of our lease a month early (end of this month instead of next month). Hallelujia (yes I know that's spelled wrong and I don't care).

I asked him about my plates again this morning. Story's changed this time. It went something like this:

Me: So, um, now that we're moving out soon, what happened to my plates and stuff?
John: What do you mean?
Me: Well, when we moved into our old apartment, I had a complete set of plates, dessert plates, etc. I'm missing at least 5 plates, 5 dessert plates, and some mugs and a lot of flatware.
John: [goes off to look in random places]. Well, I don't see any.
Me: So, you forgot to pack them?
John: Well, it was hard to pack everything up. It was hard to figure out what was yours when I was packing that stuff up.
Me: Well, the only reason I hadn't packed up that stuff was because it was still in use when I went to have my surgery. I would have packed it otherwise. It's not like they gave us dinnerware as a part of our lease agreement there. If it wasn't yours, it was mine.
John: Oh.
Me: Well, that sucks. So, you have NO IDEA where it went?
John: I guess I forgot to pack it.

HOW DUMB DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO FORGET TO PACK THINGS OR "ASSUME" THAT THEY CAME WITH THE APARTMENT?

T-29 days left, and I can't wait. Just wish I didn't have to move all my shit again and go back to my parents' house..

/tk

[Joe]

what a dumbass

[Coffee Warlord]

T-29 days left, and I can't wait. Just wish I didn't have to move all my shit again and go back to my parents' house..

C'mon down to Chicago. I'm moving back there. I'm sure we can figure out a way for you to pay your share. :)

[FrogMan]

C'mon down to Chicago. I'm moving back there. I'm sure we can figure out a way for you to pay your share. :)
Don't forget to pack your TV before you move...

FM

[hhiipp]

C'mon down to Chicago. I'm moving back there. I'm sure we can figure out a way for you to pay your share. :)
Are you creating your own "Mikes Apartment" videos? :P

[Samdari]

Move to Springfield instead. Its closer than Chicago, I am middle aged, so the duties are far less frequent, and WE ALREADY HAVE DISHES.

[Buccaneer]

And...?