OT - I need some advice

[Flasch186]

Ok, so my girlfriend says she has anxiety attacks.

1. what is one?

she has a hard time describing it as far as to say it involves, thoughts, too many thoughts, thinking about thoughts, etc.

2. how can I be supportive? what can I say/do?

Considering I dont understand it and dont experience it myself AND I view our lives in the "we have nothing to worry about" vain...and life is good. In otherwords I have a hard time empathizing but I dont want her to think Im being a dick by not understanding.

Thanks....

PS - My mom gets these too so I guess theyre pretty common?

[Telle]

1. what is one?

she has a hard time describing it as far as to say it involves, thoughts, too many thoughts, thinking about thoughts, etc.

It can have a physical side (rapid breathing, shortness of breath, etc), but the mental side is pretty much just what she said. Your thoughts just kind of spin out of control and spiral as you get more and more freaked out.


2. how can I be supportive? what can I say/do?

Whatever she needs you to do. If she needs to be held, hold her. If she needs someone to talk to, listen to her. Just holding her and saying "I'm here.. you'll be ok" can be very helpful. Sometimes even just a funny joke or commenting on something completely not associated with what the anxiety attack is about can break the mental spiral.


Considering I dont understand it and dont experience it myself AND I view our lives in the "we have nothing to worry about" vain...and life is good.

There doesn't have to be anything wrong. There could just be the possibility that there might eventually be something wrong.. and yes, I know it's insane to get upset about that but that doesn't really matter much when you're in the middle of an attack.

[Subby]

Not completely sure, but I think it involves a sock and some ants...

[st.cronin]

I assume she has seen a doctor?

[Draft Dodger]

Not completely sure, but I think it involves a sock and some ants...

probably just wishful thinking on your part

[Maple Leafs]

Ok, so my girlfriend says she has anxiety attacks. My mom gets these too so I guess theyre pretty common?I think it must be something you're doing.

[Raiders Army]

There are too many women in the sea to get hooked up with someone who claims they get anxiety attacks. Whether she gets them or not is a moot point. Drop her before you invest too much time.

[Flasch186]

There are too many women in the sea to get hooked up with someone who claims they get anxiety attacks. Whether she gets them or not is a moot point. Drop her before you invest too much time.


LOL, no, I love her.

[RendeR]

There are too many women in the sea to get hooked up with someone who claims they get anxiety attacks. Whether she gets them or not is a moot point. Drop her before you invest too much time.


you plan on living a very lonely life don't you.

[gottimd]

My fiance has the same problem, and I have a tough time relating, as well. She sees someone about it and it has gotten better since. Especially since we sit down and talk about it and let her explain it to me so I can understand it better. That way you can recognize the situations or times when it may happen.

Oh sorry for the actual response, what I meant to say was....cowboy up! :p

[Flasch186]

im scared I might get hit by a car?! is that wrong?

EDIT: her insurance kicks in in about 2 weeks and then she'll go see someone, I hope.

[RendeR]

As a person who has anxiety/panic attacks from time to time, I urge anyone in your situation to simply be as understanding as possible. it is VERY difficult to explain them and even harder to try and communicate during one. Its something than can sometimes be helped with therapy, sometimes with drugs too, but not everyone is able to be helped by any type of intervention beyond just letting them know you're there and you love them.

[RendeR]

im scared I might get hit by a car?! is that wrong?

EDIT: her insurance kicks in in about 2 weeks and then she'll go see someone, I hope.


Not wrong at all, but I'm betting it doesn't turn your thoughts into a last lap dash at the daytona 500 or make you get the shakes or start sweating either.

[Telle]

Not wrong at all, but I'm betting it doesn't turn your thoughts into a last lap dash at the daytona 500 or make you get the shakes or start sweating either.

Well it did for me for awhile.. but I suppose when somebody just runs into your car for no good reason when you're pregnant you tend to get a little freaked out when it looks like others are going to do so again.

[terpkristin]

There was a thread on it not too long ago called "Anxiety Disorder."

EF posted in it (helpful) as did others (including myself) who get them. Find it here:
http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?t=38348

Continue being supportive. Hopefully if they aren't something she can control on her own (again, see the linked thread), she'll be able to start seeing someone who can help her, either with or without drugs.

/tk

[Raiders Army]

you plan on living a very lonely life don't you.
No. I will celebrate my 9th anniversary next month. Been together 14 1/2 years.

[Eaglesfan27]

There doesn't have to be anything wrong to cause anxiety attacks. They usually occur due to a biochemical imbalance of either serotonin, norepinephrine, or rarely dopamine (least these are the best theories.)

Functional MRI studies (which are the coolest by the way) show that both cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), medication, and the combination of CBT with medication can be efficacious and can actually change the functional morphology of the brain. They can become more severe without treatment and I urge you to get help for your fiancee ASAP (i.e. in 2 weeks or so when the insurance kicks in.)


As far as what you can do in the hear and now, try to "ground her." Some people lose a little bit of orientation of their surroundings during an anxiety attack. Make sure she knows you are there for her, and that you are both in a safe environment and reorient her if needed. That is what I meant by grounding her.

[Flasch186]

There doesn't have to be anything wrong to cause anxiety attacks. They usually occur due to a biochemical imbalance of either serotonin, norepinephrine, or rarely dopamine (least these are the best theories.)

Functional MRI studies (which are the coolest by the way) show that both cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), medication, and the combination of CBT with medication can be efficacious and can actually change the functional morphology of the brain. They can become more severe without treatment and I urge you to get help for your fiancee ASAP (i.e. in 2 weeks or so when the insurance kicks in.)


As far as what you can do in the hear and now, try to "ground her." Some people lose a little bit of orientation of their surroundings during an anxiety attack. Make sure she knows you are there for her, and that you are both in a safe environment and reorient her if needed. That is what I meant by grounding her.


does she make an appointment with a doctor, or psych? Does she ask for a particular med. My mom mentioned one but I dont remember what it was off hand.

[Telle]

does she make an appointment with a doctor, or psych? Does she ask for a particular med. My mom mentioned one but I dont remember what it was off hand.

She'll need to see a doctor for meds and a psychologist for therapy. She should go to her regular doctor.. he may either prescribe the meds or refer her to a psychiatrist for "medication management". You'll definately need to check with the insurance for all the details on it.

[Eaglesfan27]

Most insurance companies require that she go to her primary care doctor for a referral. Hopefully, the doctor will refer her to a psychiatrist as many general practioners don't realize all of the various nuisances of Anxiety disorders and aren't aware of all of the possible side effects.

There isn't any one medication that fits all. If she has a family member with a similar problem that has responded well to a particular medication, that may increase her chances of responding to that particular medication.

Oh yeah, if the primary care doc (or psychiatrist) wants to prescribe Xanax, use EXTREME caution. It is a very addictive medication that I almost never prescribe. It should only be used for very short term periods while other treatments are being used, and many primary care doctors misprescribe it. Also, I highly recommend CBT. I've trained in it (but most insurance companies won't pay me to do it. They would prefer to pay a psychologist or a therapist) and Anxiety disorders respond very well to CBT when it is done correctly.

[Karlifornia]

Whenever I get an anxiety attack, I find it's best to start screaming "WHY MEEEE?!?!?!?" and pound my fists on the ground until the police show up..

[Desnudo]

There are too many women in the sea to get hooked up with someone who claims they get anxiety attacks. Whether she gets them or not is a moot point. Drop her before you invest too much time.

He's talking about a girl, not a cactus.

[Bubba Wheels]

The common thread does seem to be you.

[Flasch186]

The common thread does seem to be you.

im mean this with as much respect for you as I can muster....thanks.

[cwilloughby]

Hey flasch, I feel for you and yours. As everyone has said, I don't see any reason you two can't work through it.

My girlfriend started having them a few months before we started dating. She went to a psychiatrist for it, and has been taking Lexapro for a while. As was said, trying to help her put things into perspective helps a lot. I've found that I can talk to her and help calm her down a little bit. From my experience, the worst thing to do is to question what/why/how during the moment. Instead, it's better just to help her deal with it until it is over.

As for the term of the diagnosis, she was told that she would have to take the medicine for 3 years, and then you try going off of it. If they come back, you have to continue the meds indefinitely.

Any questions, concerns, etc. let me know. If she has any questions, email them to me, and my gf will answer them.

[ThunderingHERD]

Oh yeah, if the primary care doc (or psychiatrist) wants to prescribe Xanax, use EXTREME caution. It is a very addictive medication that I almost never prescribe.

This is attitude is extremely harmful (and, unfortunately, widespread) to anxiety disorder sufferers. For non-drug-addicts, the threat of suddenly becoming addicted to benzos while using them properly to treat an anxiety disorder is just not there, and certainly is not significant enough to withhold such an amazing drug.

In fact, clonazepam had the opposite effect on me--(when I was taking it)I actually quit or moderated my bad habits, as they were mostly a poor attempt to self-medicate anyway.

[Eaglesfan27]

This is attitude is extremely harmful (and, unfortunately, widespread) to anxiety disorder sufferers. For non-drug-addicts, the threat of suddenly becoming addicted to benzos while using them properly to treat an anxiety disorder is just not there, and certainly is not significant enough to withhold such an amazing drug.

In fact, clonazepam had the opposite effect on me--(when I was taking it)I actually quit or moderated my bad habits, as they were mostly a poor attempt to self-medicate anyway.
I'm sorry, but I've personally seen WAY too many people addicted to Xanax who were prescribed it inappropriately for long term usage. Klonopin (i.e. Clonazepam) is MUCH less addictive than Xanax and I use Klonopin frequently in the inital phase of treatment for my Anxiety Disorder patients. However, Klonopin is not without risk and generally should not be used for long term. However, don't confuse my caution of Xanax as a caution against all Benzodiazepenes.

[Eaglesfan27]

Dola -

All APA guidelines, recommend only using Klonopin or another Benzo during the initial 6-8 weeks that it can take for any of the SSRI's to work (such as Lexparo in the above example by Cwilloughby.) Klonopin is the least dangerous Benzo as its halflife is so long that it will naturally taper itself out of your body, but any of the shorter acting Benzo's can be dangerous and can cause withdrawl seizures and they ARE physiologically addictive.